Why is crossdressing seen as gay?

[jessica_brink]

Recently someone replied on my comment on a Youtube video where I said I like to wear girls clothing. First he asked me what was wrong with me, and later said that I was not normal. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was all dressed up at that moment, but I got emotional about it. After looking at myself in the mirror and remembering I like doing this, I started wondering:

Why is it exactly that crossdressing is considered by outsiders to be a gay thing?

I myself am not gay, just like to dress in girls clothes. But does what you like to wear decide your sexuality? I never really thought about it.

[Sin]

I don't know that. I am bi'sexual myself and I do bring crossdressing and my sexlife together sometimes, but I keep finding people thinking and eve beeing quite sure that I am going for a surgical sex change just becose I like to wear a dress and misbehave doing it.
Most of the time when I'm doing it I'm not after having sex with a guy, but I tend to like making them think that I'm coming on to them just to have them feel awkward for my own and others amusement who are around.
I think people who are not into any of this just have their own ideas of what it is about and make up story's in their minds that they also talk about to others.
I tend to ask, but people call me sometimes intrusive for that reason, and I think that many of us act like that when being asked and I also believe that this is a reason for people to make their own story's in their minds about us.

[Shelly Preston]

Gender & Sexuality are different.

However, most of the general public don't take the time to think about this and just make assumptions.

[pamela7]

i'd reckon that, while the subject has been done to death many times, this is old old social programming. At school an effiminate boy might get called gay (it happened in the 60's/70's), and most boys adopted behaviours to be "non-girly" to avoid such connotations. There'll be more to it than that; ignorance, assumptions, the "straight" idea of dressing femininely to attract males does not stack up. If folks knew how much it works as an attractor for females, maybe many more men would start to CD. Perhaps this idea is an awareness to spread: "the CD gets the girl"?

[Katey888]

The muggles' minds work in a very simplistic but rational way:


I like to wear girl's clothes ==> I want to look like a girl

I want to look like a girl ==> Girls generally dress nice to attract men

Girls generally dress nice to attract men ==> Eventually nice dressed girl finds nice dressed guy to do the horizontal tango with... :eek:

Therefore: Guy likes to wear girl's clothes ==> Guy wants to bed other guys... :thinking:


And actually, they're not wrong in a lot of cases - while we don't have a lot of specifically gay members here, there are a lot that are bi or curious, and a lot that fantasize... and a LOT more on other sites that make those fantasies reality...

If you're not prepared for what might be a shock, don't go Googling anything to do with 'TV', 'TS', 'CD' or 'sex' - but if you are prepared to have an open mind, you'll realise that for a lot of our 'community', it really is about sex and little else... It's just that we're the thoughtful corner of the web, and - of course - rarely discuss 'that' sort of subject... ;)

Katey x

[mechamoose]

Mixed messages? I'm Bi/Pan and I still don't understand binary thinking.

We (ideally) present in a way which is different from our genetics. If we are successful, we confuse GMs. The presentation of being female brings certain assumptions with it about 'interest'.

[Abbey11]

Hi Jessica, it's interesting that in today's supposedly more tolerant society that people can still call someone gay and mean it as a negative derogatory remark. There are many many gay people in the world and for the most part I expect they are wonderful people, no different to anyone else, we are all unique. For me I think being called gay should not be taken as negative, even though the more narrow minded may intend it that way.

[sometimes_miss]

Most women's clothing (and virtually all that crossdressers wear) is designed to make the body sexually attractive to men. So when we dress up in girl clothes, and emulate women, people naturally assume we are trying to attract men. hence, gay.

[Helena J]

I do it because I like it and it makes me feel better I don't understand why people emediatly jumps to the conclusion that a person must be gay for doing this - also I think that guys are put in a box meaning that u are not allowed to do certain things or u will get labeld as gay :/ another example is when I got my eyebrows shaped for the 1st time and because I like going for facials and etc one of my coworkers point blank asked me why I got them shaped and do I want to attract a man �� and he just asumed I'm gay I just told him no Its my face my brows and I will do it because i like it -

[CONSUELO]

Another of life's mysteries demonstrating opinions based on nothing but some atavistic prejudice.
In my limited experience, most gay men don't even like cross dressing and cross dressers.
Best not to worry about these things.

[bridget thronton]

Clothes are not always designed to attract sex partner. I have read and believe that clothes people the wearer feel good but many people do not get that part.

[alwayshave]

The fact that most people don't understand the intricacies of a societal sub-group that has been derided in most western societies is not surprising. There are other sub-groups that I don't understand, because I'm not a member, that I use stereotype to understand. No its not right, but all humans do it.

[flatlander_48]

From what we've seen here, sex seems to be a part of dressing for a small number of those who consider themselves to be Crossdressers. I would imagine that a sex-related thought process was a big driver that led them to dressing in the first place. For the rest, I would assume that it was the lure of femininity, independent of sex.

The population at large doesn't know, or made any effort to know, the subtleties of the various parts of our community. Therefore any non-binary behavior gets reshuffled and painted as binary. They are comfortable with that and don't invest any effort to really understand. I would say that the exception to that is the discovery of the true nature of a family member, friend or co-worker.

DeeAnn

[rachelatshop]

Hi Jessica, I find so interesting that so many people think that cross-dressers are Gay. I know quite few gay men, including brother's son, and not one of them are cross-dressers. In-fact I suspect that the % of gay men who cross-dress is smaller than that of the general public.

[Secret Drawer]

I lived in a fairly gay community in Boston for a while, and most of the gay dudes were not at all into feminine stuff. Not sure if any muggles really make that connection. I recently had a "run in" with a Russian woman who happened to notice I had pantyhose on under my jeans (Even that not necessarily a crossdressing thing!?) But her comment was "In Russia women wear pantyhose to attract men. So any man wearing pantyhose is gay." and she never spoke to me again. No big loss in my life I can promise.
None the less, when I told my wife about my CDing, she did ask the are you gay question. I think it is kind of an automatic.
My response to that question is always the same: "If crossdressing makes me gay then I am gay. Although I thought it had to do with being sexually attracted to the same sex, but what do I know?"

[Stephanie47]

Just one word: Ignorance

[GeorgeA]

The public gets the information about crossdressing from the media. And frequently in a humorous sketch a man dressed as a woman is portrayed as gay. Also, so called "drag queens" are usually members of the gay community. I lived for many years in a gay district of the city and don't recall seeing many crossdressers, if any.
Most of crossdressers stay out of the public eye and therefore are unknown.

[AnnieMac]

Whatsa muggle?

[reb.femme]

Whatsa muggle?

A person from outside of our dressing proclivities circle. Or better known as the general public. :heehee:

Basically, if you like to look like a girl, you're assumed to have the desires of a heterosexual girl. Not meant to be an insult generally, it's just a very basic and logical assumption to someone who doesn't know.

Becky

[Brandy Mathews]

I think that people look at crossdressing as being worse then being gay.
Bree :)

[PattyT]

I think that this is probably because the crossdressing phenomenon is in general unknown. Since a male interested in female attire does not fit the generally accepted view of being male, he must be something other than truely masculine. The only category known for such a person is the gay category. In other words, a male is either "normal" or gay, a pretty symplistic, black and white view. In a sense it is logical because I really feel that only a very few people have any idea at all of the CD category, it just does not exist for them.

[TrishaTX]

I take the middle on this one...I could see how the average Joe(if he exists) could think we were gay. People do not educate themselves in this area and as such come to conclusions. For me I know I am BI but I stay on the straight side now as I am married and she doesn't allow outside activity. I always say I think we are a cross section of society...some gay, some BI some straight some pan(I think I hit most of them lol) ...what I never understand is why people have to have labels? What is the point? I am who I am and you are who you are...if you called me trans or a crossdresser I wouldn't change who I actually am...so the heck with them...