The greatest complement

[Helen_Highwater]

I was looking through the Picture and Video section when it stuck me that some of the greatest complements we can be payed if said to a GG would not go down well. Things like;

"You look like any other GG you see when out shopping".
"You just blend into the crowd"
"No-one will ever notice you wearing that"
"No-one will look twice at you"

Basic all what's being said is, being average, even plain is best. Perhaps it should be called the Amish rule?

[Natasha V]

My greatest compliment is gettino mam'd in guy mode.

[AKADonna]

When I went to my first CD meeting (TRI-ESS) and walked across the parking lot of a major hotel in heels, I entered the front door and the doorman very politely said "good morning, Ma'am, it's a pleasure to see you today!" That did it! All of my fears and anxiety went completely away. As I moved about the lobby, there was a group of Mary Kay ladies there for a meeting and, as I stood at the elevator, one of them passed me a MK brochure and said, "You know, I bet you could really do well hosting a MK party for your friends. Do they do their makeup as well as you?" First the doorman and now from a real woman, OMG!

[reb.femme]

Initially, it seems to fly in the face of logic, but then we are trying to avoid standing out, so logical in the end...I sound like Spock there...well his sister at least...I hope!

Becky

[heatherdress]

The best compliment when venturing out is - no compliment. Crossdressers want to pass, blend or go unnoticed. I wonder if verbal compliments may indicate detection, politeness, kindness or sarcasm.

[T. Fonda]

When I was in college, I dressed up as Elvira for Halloween. While at a party, someone took a picture of me, my girlfriend, and her roommate together. I had that picture in my apartment. A few months later my roommates friend came over. He looked at the picture and said "those 3 chicks are good looking". Imagine his surprise when i told him I was the one in the black dress.

[HollyGreene]

I live near the sea and love to walk along the clifftops. Quite late one evening last summer I was walking there and it was starting to get dark, but continued walking, and then sat down on a bench to enjoy the sea air and watch the sun finally disappear beyond the horizon.
A policeman had seen me walking there and as it was dark, he was obviously concerned for my safety (jumping off the cliff would result in death).
As he approached me he said in a friendly manner, "Are you alright, love?". That was the biggest buzz ever.
With light fading fast, there was little chance he would see that I wasn't a woman. We had a nice chat, with him making sure I wasn't about to do anything silly. I told him that I just like to get away for some peace and quiet on my own sometimes.
Satisfied that I was ok, he left, saying "Well don't stay there too long - it's starting to get really cold".

That was one of the two greatest compliments I've ever had.

The other was when I put on a girlfriend's dress and she said "It's not fair. It looks better on you than it does on me".

[Princess Chantal]

The best compliment when venturing out is - no compliment. Crossdressers want to pass, blend or go unnoticed. I wonder if verbal compliments may indicate detection, politeness, kindness or sarcasm.

Hmmm And here I thought that I was a crossdresser!
I don't want to pass as a woman, don't let what others wear affect what I feel like wearing (otherwords, don't mind if I don't blend with other people), and don't mind being noticed as a crossdresser.

[Lily Catherine]

On one hand it's possible to construe the idea of "blending" as camouflage - try not to stand out the wrong way nor draw attention for the wrong reason (akin to why snipers wear ghillie suits so they don't stand out in vegetation). Better no attention from anyone than the plausibility of the wrong kind of attention (getting exposed being the most common along with any unsavoury consequences).

The safest path is, by this point of view, not to look out of place, so all of it goes against anything excessively garish or attention-seeking for a given situation. I mean - if anyone (GGs included) walks into a local supermarket on an ordinary day wearing a rhinestone-studded bodycon dress and thigh-high stockings, how does that not raise eyebrows? You could, however, wear said outfit into a nightclub and still get away with it.

Of course, to claim One of Us looks 100% female is a totally different compliment from telling them they "look like any other GG". To be mistaken for female is also consequently an implicit goal of blending - whether by a glance or a stare.

[Helen_Highwater]

Lily,
Your comment; "On one hand it's possible to construe the idea of "blending" as camouflage" is absolutely right. It's a quandary that we all want to look our best but be invisible when in a crowd.

My So will wear something casual to do the weekly shop in, something I might emulate if I was going out and about enfemme in order to blend, present a neutral look. My SO however still ask, "Do I look OK in this?" She to doesn't want to stand out but in her case it's by being seen or judged as not making the effort to at least be making a reasonable presentation. So if I said, "yep you look fine, no-one will take any notice of you dressed like that" things might get frosty to say the least.

[Teresa]

Helen,
I understand what you're saying, and it is a fine dividing line between blending and hoping someone will pass a nice compliment.
My first time out was to a social meeting that happened to be a party to celebrate the groups fourth birthday, I wore a long ball gown with earrings and necklace I thought complemented it, as I walked in the door a GG saw my necklace and commented how much she liked it. It did feel good to receive a comment in that way .

[docrobbysherry]

I believe you're mixing apples and oranges, Helen.

1. When passing is a CD's biggest goal when going out dressed, they dress to blend. Which means wearing, plain, loose, even dowdy clothing. "In the hope that people don't notice u", in your words.

2. Compliments come from looking good and being noticed. Not becoming invisible. Just the opposite of how many CD's dress to go out in Vanillaland.

Which is why I agree with Chantal. I hate dressing to blend. What's the point of going out dressed if I look like a dumpy old lady? I'm not going to pass either way and I'm going to feel embarrassed and stressed no matter what. So, why not enjoy how I look at least?:o

[lingerieLiz]

I was buying a wig one time. After I had purchased it the woman had me try it on. I did and she said you would be a very pretty girl. He chimed in and said, You would be a head turner. While I had told her it was for my girlfriend, I'm sure she figured it was for me.