Therapist Appointment

[rocval2001]

Finally after all these years I have an appointment with a therapist to discuss am I just a cross dresser or more. I have always felt it is more. Never really happy as a guy. Wish me luck. March 14th. I have a lot of female gestures and mannerisms so I may be I can get some answers instead of burying them.

Hugs

Valerie

[Dana44]

Good luck rocval. do know that we gender fluids type are no happy with our male selves either. our mannerism are feminine sometimes also. But tell your Therapist everything about yourself.

[rocval2001]

Thanks Dana - I will start making notes between now and then to make sure I don't miss anything.

Valerie

[RylieM]

Just had my first meeting with a therapist for the exact same reason wednesday. She made me feel calm about telling her and basically came to the same conclusion as I did I need to test the waters more before I jump in head first good luck!

[Suzanne F]

I was where you are about 2 and a half years ago. Relax and tell the truth. Don't try to control the outcome based on what you think you can handle. Discover the truth and then you can worry about how to proceed. Good luck!
Suzanne

[Princess29]

don't hold anything back. You are there to find things out. If you aren't going to say how you feel then you might as well stay home

[rocval2001]

Thanks girls - I intend to be open and honest. It will be a waste of time other wise.

Hugs
Valerie

[pamela7]

good luck Valerie, i'm of little doubt you'll soon realise what you've always known to be true, is true!

[Teresa]

Valerie ,
I wish you well and hope you get the answers to move forward.
You don't mention if a partner is involved and if you will be accompanied at some point, I found it much harder having a wife who didn't want to know and yet I had to come to terms with my gender issues. It was very difficult in those circumstances not to make my wife look part of my problem, which very nearly brought my marriage to an end. It did come to the point where I had to sit down and honestly say what my CDing needs were and ask if the gap was too wide between them and my wife's acceptance level.

It is now beginning to come together, I now go out to social meetings and the fears of what that involves are being overcome.

As far as the therapist is concerned , you have no reason to hold back but do be honest, don't embellish anything they have seen it all before and truly want to help you but at the end of the day whatever you choose to do will be your decision not theirs, they can only guide you.

[rocval2001]

Teresa,
There is a wife involved - She has known of my feelings in the past - in order to save the marriage tried to bury them - bad idea - always come back - this will end the marriage if it comes out more than cross dressing - obviously. But at 55 it may be now or never - tired of not being happy. We'll see what happens from there. Oh I am paying for the first session out of pocket and not out of insurance if any one was wondering. I'll keep everyone updated

Valerie

[prene]

Good luck.
I have a therapist also.
I started out not telling all, but after a few visits I was able to open up more.
Best thing I did.
Keep us informed if you can

[rocval2001]

I can and will as it moves forward

Thank you for your support

Valerie

[Andrea_cd]

I spent 6mths last year in therapy and just let it all out , discovered im a guy who has very strong feminine feelings and loves to dress in pretty things , it has brought a sense of calm over me and made my life bearable again , i wish you nothing but happiness in taking this step in your life

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

good luck sis just be yourself and honestly answer his/her questions

[Teresa]

Valerie,
I sound like an old record but the one fact that came home to me when I joined the forum was CDing is for life, we have to come to terms with it for us to find ourselves before we can expect others to fully deal with it !
I went into gender counselling open minded but feared that it might prove that I was TS . The outcome was that I'm just on the male side of the line but the female side has constantly caused conflict all my life. I wrote all this down in an unbiased way to explain it to my wife because she refused to accompany me to counselling, she finally accepted that I am part female, yes she did make the point about not being a lesbian but it was slightly irrelevant because we haven't had intimate contact for ten years anyway, which is her choice and something I accept and respect her for. I'm still a fully functioning male so that fact is sometimes hard to accept, CDing has become the substitute, a fact my wife knows and accepts, I'm still attracted to women and would label myself a male lesbian, AGP does come into the equation, I just have to find a balance now between my needs and what my wife and family will accept. It does get harder with age not easier , being forced into decisions of separation after 41 years of marriage or considering transition and walking away from a wife , children and grandchildren. I'm afraid counselling can't be ignored if you want to be fair to yourself and others.

[lainey]

this will end the marriage if it comes out more than cross dressing

Valerie, curious what you mean by this statement. In my situation with coming out to my wife there was lots of deception and cheating besides the crossdressing. I'm on my second therapist and being completely open and honest about everything. Wish you the best.

Lainey