Daughters surprise visit

[Maria 60]

When I got home from work my daughters car was in the driveway, I walked in the house and yelled hello and she responded me from what sounded like the bedroom. I asked her what brings her by, she answers me she has a girls night out and was looking to see if she can save a few bucks on a new outfit and see if she can get something from her mom. Whaaaaat!!!! OMG. I automatically went into a panic, a while back my wife couldn't handle my fem stuff scattered all around the house so she cleared out half her armour so everything is in one area. I was sitting on the couch sweating it out because if anyone has a daughter you will know they love to snoop and you can't get away with much with them. I was continplating if she was to have any doubt about anything that I was just going to spill the beans and tell her. After all a few years back when she got married, a few days before her wedding I removed my earrings becaue her husband had a lot of older traditional family coming from overseas. I didn't know if she was going to be embarrassed introducing her father with earrings on. The day of the wedding she was dressed and ready to come out of her room and she asked the maid of honour that she wanted to talk to me. When I went into her room and told her how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress, she opened up her hand and there she was holding my earrings and told me to put them on because that's who I am and wants everyone to know me and that she is proud of her father and if anyone is going to judge me because I wear earrings then they are going to miss meeting a great person.
So I figured if she qestions anything I'm just going to come out with it, instead she came down with my dress in her hand and the box with my Michael Hill earrings and she sat next to me and questioned how once side of her moms drawer was so neat and the other was uncommonly messy not her mom style. WThat's all that was said, I don't know if she thought anything of it, and I was dying to yell out" that's not your mothers dress it's mine", we talked a while longer and off she went. When my wife came home from work I was laying on the couch almost like someone punched my out, she asked me if sometimes is it all worth it, and the worst part of it is she's going to a party wearing her fathers dress. Lol I guess just another day in a closet crossdressers life.

[DanielleLee]

In all honesty, based on the reference to the wedding story... I think fine to come clean, if indeed you do want too. Now granted I do not your situation with your wife (Is she okay with the "kids" knowing), but it seems like your daughter is a lovely girl who obviously loves you very much and will understand. :-) :-) :-)

[alwayshave]

Maria, I know what you mean about daughters snooping. Mr. Fiancees daughter lives with us and she is always looking into my stuff.

[heatherdress]

Maria - Thanks for sharing your cute story. Your daughter must think a lot of you and appears to be a terrific young woman. You probably have good reasons that you and your wife do not share that you crossdress with your daughter. Maybe you should invest in a safer place to store your clothing. And maybe you should be prepared to share with her that you crossdress if and when she discovers that you wear dresses too. Seems like she would be accepting and proud of you and who you are.

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like she suspects - but loves you enough that she will not bring it up unless you do. You have a wonderful family.

[pamela7]

as Bridget says, "she knows" - this was an invite to "come out"

[Stephanie47]

Maria's daughter does not suspect, she knows. Kids are not stupid, dense or whatever. The comment about the two sides of the draw being different? Duh! And, the comment about earrings. I don't know if you, your wife and your daughter wear the same dress size, but, if your wife is a different size than Maria. Well, another duh!



Sounds like she suspects - but loves you enough that she will not bring it up unless you do. You have a wonderful family.

Maria, I think we are expecting an update to your beautiful story when your daughter returns your dress.

PS" Maria, did you ever give your daughter the size "B" pantyhose you bought on clearance or did you have your wife say she found her a bargain? Just asking. Just another clue maybe.

[Natasha V]

Oh she has to know, she would most likely be cool with it. We want an update. Lol

[Dana44]

I would say its pretty obvious that she knows by the fact she came out with your earrings and your dress. and sat down and reflected she got this out of the messy side of the closet. And holding the earrings in her hand showing you. IT was like a bell went off. But you did not respond and that was okay. But she knows.

[SamanthaSometimes]

What a wonderful story about the earrings at the wedding! I've walked a daughter down the nuptial aisle too and it is truly a special time and your's was made even more wonderful by your daughter's support for you being who you are. Have you and your wife talked about telling your daughter you are TG?

[Krististeph]

Daughters, teenage girls, love to snoop. It's in their blood. I don't think it is intentionally hurtful, but it may become so.

Women like to know things about other women. Same with girls. They probably know a lot more than you think. My niece, who lived with us for some years, had me figured out pretty quick. Because I wanted it low key, she just let it be that way. They can be pretty decent as long as you are not trying to actually fool them or put something over on them. I think they like the idea of being "co-conspirators."

If you make an effort to keep them out, they may get vindictive, but if you make it so that you are just a but afraid to open up- an then let them convince you to trust them- they do love this. My niece confirms this in conversations we have had.

No wonder we like to dress and act like girls- they can be really neat.

[heatherdress]

Maria - In spite of many who seem to know what your daughter knows and who seem to think you should tell her you crossdress, only you can make that decision. Children, particularly grown children, often don't want to know "everything" about their parents. There are some things (e.g. - their parent's sex life) that most would not care to learn about. If your crossdressing is known only to your wife, it is an intimate secret that only you two share. That is something that is rather beautiful. Even if your daughter may have suspicions, if she wanted to ask you she would have. Do not read a lot into her comment about the drawer or regret that you did not tell her. If you wanted to, you would have. If she wanted to confront you about her suspicions, she would have. Don't second guess yourself.

Also another thought - If you were to tell your daughter, it is not simply a matter of whether she would understand and accept that her dad is a crossdresser. Your daughter loves you and seems to be an accepting, intelligent person. She probably would have no problems learning that you like to wear a dress with your earrings. But if you tell her, then she has to maintain secrecy, too. Most likely, she may have to keep your crossdressing a secret from her husband (traditional family), children and other family members.

Telling her is not simply sharing knowledge. It is adding a responsibility and complexity to her life. And maybe she might worry about you a bit more.

[docrobbysherry]

I know exactly what that must have felt like, Maria. Like your heart jumped up into your throat!:doh:

I was almost caught several times by my live in, late teens, daughter a couple of years ago. I had a long private talk with her. Altho she doesn't approve and we do a DADT thing now, I never have had that, "OMG! I've been caught", feeling again.:thumbsup:
I told my other daughter who lives far away, too. Didn't bother her at all. Probably because it won't effect her.

Your daughter doesn't live with u. So, I doubt it will be a big deal for her. But, it will be a big relief for u!:)

[Alice Torn]

I have 68yo never married sister, and when i let her in to my apartment, she took off like a blood hound, snooping into everything. Good thing i had my closet shut good, and drawers closed!

[Georgette_USA]

Guess my family is odd. When visiting other families places, would never think of looking in their rooms and thru their stuff. It is called common privacy and manners.

[Rachelakld]

My oldest (23) got a teaching job 3 weeks age and needed clothes "suitable" for working with children.
She raided the wardrobe and chose 4 of my favorite dresses and on leaving said "I've never seen mum in these, they don't seem like her style"
:)
Then she hopped in my car and drove back to her house (not fussed about my car, but really want my dresses back)

3 youngest teen girls have seen me dressed and helped with make up, but oldest isn't really open minded

[Maria 60]

Thanks for all your really great responses but I feel as if I would rather tell my children more when I really need to. The hard way, getting caught.
This time it was Friday after work, looking forward to the weekend and I guess I really didn't want to do so much explaining. I guess another excuse.
I believe she does know and maybe doesn't want to know, I wasn't always the neatest person and my wife tells me all the time my sloppiness is going to get me caught.
Well if she has an idea and knew that was my stuff and she still decided to choose it and wear the dress knowing it was her fathers, I would say that's pretty flattering. Wouldn't you?
Believe it or not we are all the same dress size, it's fun this way sharing with my wife, emagine the fun it would have been if she knew and we could have all shared our things.

[Mollyanne]

You know that GG's have this "6th sense" when it comes to us "hiding" something.

Molly

PS: Oh yeah, I almost forgot------YES, SHE KNOWS!!!!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maria:hugs:, I'm sure that if it ever does come out that your daughter will be more than OK with it. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[Nikkilovesdresses]

she sat next to me and questioned how once side of her moms drawer was so neat and the other was uncommonly messy not her mom style.

This was your opportunity to explain gently that her mother suffers from dissociative personality disorder and that her alter ego is a shameless hussy called Marilyn X, and you totally blew it :)

[Pat]

Honestly, if the story is as you say, she knows. And she's inviting you to tell her. I doubt you have to explain anything -- next time she sits down with you she could probably explain it all to you. ;) Lovely story about the wedding. You are indeed fortunate.

[MissTee]

I know exactly how you feel, Maria. I have a daughter in her mid-20's and she is always snooping. She's not a bad kid in that way, just always been uber curious. Very recently, I had an unexpected gift arrive from Ulta. It was a boxed bronzer set that came with a brush customized with my name on it. I suppose it came as a gift from an earlier purchase I had made. My daughter opened the package and was polling her Mom on why I would be getting a bronzer. She has also (twice that I know of) caught me in a nightgown. I think she would react OK with me telling her about Misty, but telling is simply not something I want to do. I'm fine with only my wife knowing. Let the others keep wondering :)

[heatherdress]

I disagree with all the remarks assuring Maria that her daughter "knows", or was "inviting her to tell her", or has a "magical 6th sense". Her daughter simply made a comment that one side of a drawer in her mom's dresser was neat and the other side was messy. Everyone seems to be reading a lot more into Maria's description of the visit. Maria seems to have a loving, accepting grown daughter. If she really suspected, or wanted to know, that her dad crossdressed, seems like she probably would have asked him.

The assumptions being expressed seem to be what crossdressers like to imagine and dream about. Dad crossdresses - daughter does not know - daughter makes surprise visit - daughter unknowingly borrows dad's dress to wear - daughter makes comment that mom's drawer was messy - therefore: daughter must know and should be told. Everyone lives happily ever after.

I think it is wise for Maria to maintain her privacy. She already seems to have a great relationship with her daughter. Why take unnecessary risks? And maybe cause her daughter some disappointment (e.g. - "Why didn't you tell me?" or "Not you, dad!), or stress (e.g. - "What do I tell my husband?") or worry (e.g. - "I hope nothing happens to dad when he is dressed."). You just can't assume that everything would be better if Maria tells her daughter, because Maria probably would have told her if she thought it would. Maybe Maria does not want to burden her daughter with an important secret she must now also keep. Maybe Maria's wife does not want her children or other family members to know. And maybe in the future her daughter will discover her secret, or acknowledge that she "knows", or Maria may tell her that her father crossdresses, and it will probably be OK. But I think Maria should not second-guess herself and should be happy to know that her daughter picked out her dress to borrow and wear. That is really cute and maybe it really is worthwhile, Maria.

[char GG]

I agree with Heatherdress.

Take the episode at face value and don't read too much into it.

When people keep secrets, there is always a nagging feeling that they are going to be found out.

[Diversity]

By the sounds of things, I duo the anything bad will come of you telling your daughter at some future date about your crossdressing (should you feel the need to open up to her). Your daughter seems to accept you and love you for being yourself. She may already know, and perhaps by her remark of her moms drawers being tidy on one side and messy on the other side, she was letting you know that she knows, or was giving you an opportunity to come out to get. She sounds like a wonderful, caring, and understanding daughter who loves you as you are.
Di

[Tanya+]

She so knows, and she accepts and loves you; that doesn't mean it has to go any further. Just love her back. Coming out to people can be tempting for selfish reasons "oh goodie someone to dress for" maybe that distorts relationships and gets weird? I'd find an excuse to pick up 'mum's dress and earrings' soon so she knows you know that she knows, kiss her on the forehead and let her make any next move. It's not DADT, it's grace. She's a good'n BTW.

[IamWren]

I completely agree with Heather and believes she makes some very valid points as to why to maintain your privacy Maria.

Is it possible she knows?... yes. Does she need to know or confirm suspicions? I don't think so. I mean since she is a grown woman and is not directly affected by it, I would say no.