omegle has crushed my confidence

[Belladdresser]

So I got all dressed up tonight. Glued on my forms, and put on a white shirt with no bra. Still trying to perfect my makeup, but I felt I looked pretty good. I got online for some webcam chatting and every single person I talked to immediately called me out as a guy. It was crushing. I still need work on my makeup skills. A lot of work.

[Tonya Rose]

Huge Huggs Sister!!!!! im on your side!!!

[Jenniferathome]

Bella, if you think you will pass as a genetic woman, you have raised the bar too high. It's not realistic. It's not just makeup skill (that helps), it's not just clothing (that helps), it's not just accessories (those help too). No, there are a million little cues that give us away. You can't outsmart millennia of evolution and a lifetime of observation. You can still interact with others who know your actually a man. It's quite fun actually. I did it today over lunch with a friend in a restaurant.

[Princess Chantal]

Do women even go on webcams for chatting to people that are not family or friends?

[mechamoose]

I'm not one of 'you', no disrespect. I'm a hippie long-hair person.

Most of what you are going to get online are men looking for something sedacious.

We, as girls, just don't fit into that. XX people are pretty damn selective, . XY people tend to be much less so, regardless of clothing. I believe males are dogs, women are cats.

Nothing wrong with either one, just be practical.

I don't care much about you having forms on or not. You choose to present as you choose.

What did they gain by that exchange? What did you lose?

I'm not trying to be confrontative, I'm asking because I want to know.

How does that make you any less?

Kitty / Moose

[Robin414]

Have you tried howhot.io? If Omegle left you with any shreds of femme self confidence, that site will clean up the remains quite nicely 😡 (just venting, I did manage to find a pic that wasn't rated as down right fuggly so I'm OK 😉 )

Seriously though, you need a confidence boost, I'd suggest searching Denver William (misty valley paramount) on you tube. The makeup skills are pretty high end but the results are I think more than worthy of online chat (and achievable with some practice)!

[sometimes_miss]

Instant give-aways: Wig. Most people can spot a wig, which makes them look closer about everything else. Facial skin texture. Most women have spent a lifetime moisturizing. Men don't. The skin looks quite different, and unless you're a professional make up artist, there's little chance you're going to get it right. Brow line. Most men have a slightly protruding brow bone at the level of eyebrows. Mouth. Men usually have wider mouths, squarer jaws. 5 oclock shadow, we don't even have to mention. Adams apple. Another give away.

And that's only from the neck up. There are plenty of other obvious differences that will give us away. Shoulder/waist/hip ratio, hand size and how well they're kept, most older women have flab around the back of their upper arms, most crossdressers wear their bras too high, it goes on and on.

So don't be hard on yourself. Very, very few can pass physically, and even then, the voice often gives THEM away.

[Pat]

Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again. ;) If you learn to accept yourself for who you are (transgender/crossdresser/whatever) and not try to go from what you're NOT (cis-gender male) to what you're NOT (cis-gender female) you're going to find happiness easier to achieve. There will still be hateful morons in the world who revel in letting their mean-spirited selves out on the internet (I suppose you can argue that they're just being themselves just like we are) but you won't be their hostage any more. Accept yourself and anything bad they have to say rolls right off you. At the same time, take some responsibility -- if you go to places like that with expectations of universal praise and acceptance you've engineered your own failure.

[Piora]

I can understand that it would be a blow to your confidence. However, I think you should stay away from webcams, unless it's a site with other crossdressers. Crossdress to be happy with how YOU feel about yourself when you look in the mirror. Don't worry about how others perceive you. If it helps at all, I couldn't call you from your photo. You look like a woman to me. I can only wish I would look as good!!

[Sarah Doepner]

Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again. ;) If you learn to accept yourself for who you are (transgender/crossdresser/whatever) and not try to go from what you're NOT (cis-gender male) to what you're NOT (cis-gender female) you're going to find happiness easier to achieve. There will still be hateful morons in the world who revel in letting their mean-spirited selves out on the internet (I suppose you can argue that they're just being themselves just like we are) but you won't be their hostage any more. Accept yourself and anything bad they have to say rolls right off you. At the same time, take some responsibility -- if you go to places like that with expectations of universal praise and acceptance you've engineered your own failure.

Jennie, you are spot on with this. It's unfortunate that our development into out T-selves usually has much more time dedicated to the look we desire than time dedicated to getting our head wrapped around our nature. I know there are a lot of reasons for this, but it does lead to plenty of opportunities for disappointment, hiding, denial and dead ends, usually decorated in great makeup and stylish outfits.

[Di]

Do women even go on webcams for chatting to people that are not family or friends?
Agree we don't

Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again. ;) If you learn to accept yourself for who you are (transgender/crossdresser/whatever) Accept yourself and anything bad they have to say rolls right off you. At the same time, take some responsibility -- if you go to places like that with expectations of universal praise and acceptance you've engineered your own failure.
A thousand likes!
You do not need to get validation from others ... You have nothing to prove... Accept and love yourself.

[Trishpdxcd2]

Well I have never been on that site but there are plenty of places that you would be more than welcome and celebrated. I go on crossdresserchatcity quite a bit and people would love you there.

[mechamoose]

Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again. ;)

<- Member of the Jennie-cd fanclub

The girl is speaking the truth }:>

Kitty / Moose

[Stephanie47]

Perhaps you're setting your expectations too high. I've found over the years that my eye sees what my mind wants to see. Even in guy mode I've found that to be true. When I see pictures of myself I realize I do have some weight to lose on my belly. I see that my face is that of a mature (old to my granddaughter) man. I don't know how you voice comes through on such sites, but, that would be the first clue. I think everyone would be better off presenting themselves as they really are. If you're a man who likes to wear women's clothing, then own it.

Just out of curiosity....What were you discussing? Were you attempting to pass yourself off as a woman and talking to women and/or men? I'm just curious. I like building military plastic models, and, if I were on a site of that interest, I don't think I'd be wearing a dress, wig and makeup.

[mechamoose]

I like building military plastic models, and, if I were on a site of that interest, I don't think I'd be wearing a dress, wig and makeup.

Oh come on, why not? It isn't like those plastic soldiers are going to care.

I wear skirts in the jewelry workshop all the time. Things don't come out any differently :)

I'm also 'old', but I just think of it as getting closer to the wild, gray-hair lady stage, when no fraks are given.

[karynspanties]

So I got all dressed up tonight. Glued on my forms, and put on a white shirt with no bra. Still trying to perfect my makeup, but I felt I looked pretty good. I got online for some webcam chatting and every single person I talked to immediately called me out as a guy. It was crushing. I still need work on my makeup skills. A lot of work.



Welcome to the club sister. Most of us will NEVER pass as a woman. Nothing to get upset about. Just remember it's all mind over matter. If you don't mind...it don't matter. You just need to get to thatpoint where you do not care what others think. Once you do....it's like water on a ducks back. It just rolls off.

[Teresa]

Bella,
It's a shame you get dressed up just for webcam chatting, going out and meeting other CDers at social meetings won't crush your confidence the same way, people can say what they like on the net and just walk away, they may not care if they hurt you or not .

[Judy-Somthing]

One thing I found is that lighting makes a very big difference in photos and video.
Remember that Seinfeld episode?

[Princess Chantal]

I like building military plastic models, and, if I were on a site of that interest, I don't think I'd be wearing a dress, wig and makeup.
My life partner who happens to be a crossdresser has shared pictures of herself prettied up with her models and at her workdesk with the model forums she participates on. Geez she even participates at the local model club meetings and shows while crossdressed. She doesn't act differently when prettied up and doesn't make it the focus point. We even take in military, navy and aviation museums in which she has no problems with conversing in length with the hosts. To think of it, her best friend is very conservative minded but doesn't let her crossdressing expression affect their strong relationship of their shared passions which include model building, buses, and etc.

[MNwild10]

Keep at it. It's a process, and at the end of the day if you're good with how you look, that is what matters!

-Shelby

[Tracii G]

I'm on a few websites that are more male in nature and when I add input to threads more often than not members tend to think I am a female.
If I post a pic of me holding an item my nails are painted or I have some sort of bracelet on or rings.
I have posted a few pics where I have pink skinny jeans on when holding an item so its the perception of what they see,style/color of clothes (I never show from the shoulders up.)
I have had a few guy members send me PM's and they are always very nice and never say nasty things and how nice it is to have a woman on the forum.One guy said his wife loved my outfit in one pic so that was really nice.
I think it helps if you actually think out your posts as a GG would and word it as a GG would.

[Lorileah]

I didn't know making models was a purview of guys. :thinking:

So I guess you could wear a dress on the cooking sites? I could have sworn we all here sort of agreed what you wear shouldn't decide where you go and what you do.

That said, if the outed you right away, I too wonder what kind of site you were on. Funny thing, when I was on a dating site and made it clear I was TS, I got zero...zero...replies. When I made no mention of it I got several...when I slipped it in at the end, I got more. You see, it all depends on the site and what you are looking for

[transfeminate]

From what I see I don't think we have an exclusive on morons on the internet. Unfortunately it is the perfect home for every inadequate and prejudiced specimen on the planet

[Mayo]

Sexually-oriented sites (which I understand omegle to be) attract trolls and misogynists of every stripe. If they're not specifically looking for trans women or CDs then you're probably going to get shot down for being a guy unless you've gone the full feminization route or can fit yourself into the 'sissy' category (and even then somebody's bound to be crudely or hatefully critical about something). From what little I've heard, it seems almost equivalent to seeking validation as a trans woman on 4chan. There are assholes waiting around every corner just itching to make their unsolicited opinions known, on the internet as well as in real life.

[mechamoose]

I have 'odder' interests. I participate in sites where it is more about horndog interests than relationship related ones.

Sex is easy, relationships are hard. Gender stuff doesn't even begin to come into it.

Do you want to fool them? Do you want to be invisible and give them the 'surprise' later?

At the end of if, you need to be confident in yourself. Else what are you going to do when that 'secret' comes out?

Be who you are. We don't have to fit in or be accepted, but if you leave yourself in a position to be apologetic, then what have you really done?

Defend yourself.

Kitty / Moose

[chloe cute]

I learned not to care about people's opinion. I dressed and put on makeup for myself. I am a straight CDer, I never intended to be a girl, but I want to look pretty. I guess be the first version of my self is better than being other.

[Helen_Highwater]

Bella, if you think you will pass as a genetic woman, you have raised the bar too high. It's not realistic. It's not just makeup skill (that helps), it's not just clothing (that helps), it's not just accessories (those help too). No, there are a million little cues that give us away. You can't outsmart millennia of evolution and a lifetime of observation. You can still interact with others who know your actually a man. It's quite fun actually. I did it today over lunch with a friend in a restaurant.

Jenifer is absolutely right. We are programmed to recognise these things. Your makeup could be flawless, dress sense 100% but the clues are still there. " and put on a white shirt with no bra." Unless your forms are top of the range and even then it's unlikely they're stand close scrutiny especially if you'er braless. Males will be drawn to things like that. Passing in a crowd is far different from one to one interactions.

Also in "real life", out in the world, people are far less likely to be so blunt. The web= anonymity. People can say what the like without fear of the other person being so offended that they punch them in the mouth (or worst). It's amazing just how much courage some people get online that they don't display in real life.

[Krisi]

By using a webcam, you are giving people the opportunity to study your face and hair for an extended period. Very few of us could stand up to that scrutiny for more than a few seconds. Many transsexuals resort to facial feminization surgery at great cost and discomfort just to try to look more feminine or less masculine.

I don't suppose moving the camera back is an option?

[Georgette_USA]

That said, if the outed you right away, I too wonder what kind of site you were on. Funny thing, when I was on a dating site and made it clear I was TS, I got zero...zero...replies. When I made no mention of it I got several...when I slipped it in at the end, I got more.

I have had similar experience. On some sites I identify as a Post-OP TS/TG. Not really looking for dates or hookups. Men don't seem to read profiles very well, just the pics. Have to have them re-read and see if they understand what that means.

Only on one site I don't is on a Lesbian site, no nude pics but close. I have had many woman that love to chat of the sexual type.

Have had chats with CDs and Non transition TGs, and they get plenty of responses from both men and women.

[Nadine Robles]

Do women even go on webcams for chatting to people that are not family or friends?

I thinks that's the huge give away right there... I've tried a few times and eventually got away with passing as a GG but It took quite a few tries, with different cameras, lighting and angles, the key is knowing what to conceal, what to enhance and how to draw the eye away from the details that give us away.