Aggravated and Stuck Too Much

[LookingGlass]

If somehow this is the wrong forum space, I apologize. So, after my last divorce I finally began accepting, after some long time coming introspection, that it was never simply crossdressing. Growing up I didn’t have a clue what was going on and scared to death to say anything. Giving up on ignoring what my psyche had been trying to tell me, I accepted that I was born with the wrong outer body. Okay, fair enough, stuff happens. The human body isn’t a perfect bit of science.

That said, I FINALLY broke down and admitted the situation to a couple of people. One, a friend; two, a parent. The friend has been super supportive and has asked me a bunch of questions to see where my head is on lots of things, even giving some solid advice. The parent was my mother, and her reaction has had me perplexed for days now. It could’ve gone MUCH worse than it did, but it would’ve been nicer to have some kind of reaction one way or the other.

All I got was that she had things to say in response but needed time and she loved me. My dad posting things yesterday on her Facebook page about weathering any storm made me nervous, but admittedly I could have read too much into it (that’s habitual overthinking everything for you). Anyway, I really just wanted to vent a little while I try to figure things out. The economic/employment situation far behind where I want to be at all in a transitioning timeline, and this hasn’t eased it any.

Maybe I really am making too much of it. Then again, the TV show on in the background just had a character talking about being a girl in a boy's body so there's that...

[Marcelle]

Hello,

Personally I would not read too much into initial responses back from folks. It is a lot to digest, especially if you are not initiated in things TG/TS and for a parent to hear from one your children that they believe they were born in the wrong body . . . well just saying . . . they human psyche can go into protection mode and what sound perfectly reasonable to the person saying it, my not to the person receiving it. A lot goes through their minds. My mother was convinced it was her fault that I wanted to be a woman because she let me play dress-up with my sisters and cousins when I was younger. It took some educating to make her understand that I didn't "want to be a woman" but the "I am and always was a woman".

Give your parents some time to digest the information and then have a run at it again if after a bit of time they have still not come out either way. Speaking from personal experience, you can drive yourself crazy tying to guess what is going through people's mind when you tell them.

Cheers

Marcelle

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You made good choices when picking who to tell. Predictably your friend found the news easier to respond to than your mother, but your mother's response is hard to beat in terms of not instantly judging, panicking, blaming, blowing up, or all the other ways she might have responded. To say she loves you and to ask for time to respond- what could be fairer than that?

I think you should try to be as patient as possible, but obviously there will come a point where it's reasonable to ask for her response. If she sees you are happy, content in yourself, that will go a long way towards allaying any fears she might have.

[pamela7]

it seems to me, if there is one lesson we do get in the transitioning experience, it is to learn patience.

[I Am Paula]

Your mother's lack of reaction could be like my mother. She simply thought 'Well, this explains their entire life's behaviour'.

[LookingGlass]

She eventually did respond. Her response was something along the lines of, "I don't think you realize what kind of position that put me in. You weren't supposed to be a girl. You're a man. And that's it." I guess no mention of disavowing any knowledge of my physical existence is better than nothing.

[Kris Avery]

When I told my folks last summer they were super shocked...but supportive.
Over time...and subsequent conversations they told me that it actually explains what we went through over the course of my entire life.

Longer out - they are still supportive and have even felt my pain first hand as they have seen me suffer in all the psychological and physical issues that present as well as remaining silent when Trans people are discussed in their social circles - based on my request.