The Future

[joanne51]

While we have better access to each other through forums and the social media, are there any signs that attitudes towards us will change for the better in future?

There will continue to be those of us (like myself) who get hung up over telling our SOs that we CD. By doing so we delay to our cost the impact coming out has on those close to us.

Will there come a time when it becomes more accepted, and that more of society will come to realise that there are more of us out there than is currently thought? Will we ever be accepted as just being different?

[Annamarie B]

Not sure anyone let alone any of us are capable of answering your question dear!

[PattyT]

It goes without saying it's very hard to predict the future. Society does seem to be loosening up a bit and becoming more receptive. Women are more accepted as equals today than say 50 or 60 years ago. Look at the progress they have made since the turn of the century when in the US they could not even vote. The Afro Americans have also, needless to say, made huge strides from the middle of the last century. The trend nowadays seems to be to accept minorities more readily. Even the gays have made progress.
As for CDs, perhaps we too will gradually become a bit more accepted. The problem with the CDs is that we reaaly don't have any good PR orgqnization they way the other minorities have had. People don't know us, and those who do tend to lump us with the gays. As long as we remain a very silent minority, we really cannot expect to make all that much progress.

"Will there come a time when it becomes more accepted, and that more of society will come to realise that there are more of us out there than is currently thought? Will we ever be accepted as just being different?"

Unless we could somehow engage in more PR activities I would have to answer "No" to your questions.

[Judy-Somthing]

Over the last 40 years I've known six friends who came out of the closet as gay and everybody I know thinks (what's the big deal).
My brother in-law's farther came out of the closet as gay 10 years ago and everybody thinks he's great.
I think more people would except it than we think. After the shock wears off it's no big deal.

Of course till they see my new dress.

[Sophie Yang]

Joanne,

Future change is in the hands of the young and I think that the young are more open. We wife's best friend knows about me. When my wife told her, her friend said that my wife is so much more tolerant than she and that her husband would never understand. My wife has been over and seen me dressed. Now my wife's friend's daughter ran into some trouble and could not go home. She has a room at our place. She comes and goes as she wishes and it looks like she is turning her life around. She is in her mid-20's, same age as my oldest son. When I told my two son's neither one had an issue. I told them when they graduated from college.

Before she moved in, she was told and it was not a big deal for her. She is an artist, very talented, and does magic with make up. She and I have gone out shopping together. On one trip I asked her if she knew any other trans-gendered people. Based on the statistics, most people do not know they know a trans-gendered person.

Her answer surprised me. She said yes and knew a few. One of her best friends from high school transitioned.

Look for a Time Magazine cover: The Transgender Tipping Point, June 9, 2014 for other examples of acceptance in the younger generation.

[Beverley Sims]

I think we are becoming more accepted by others and this grows from day to day.

Many don't care.

Our spouses?

They married a MAN!

That is another ball game.

[LondonSteve]

That to me is a complex question. Times change but not necessarily for the better. Things move but not necessarily forward. The general public (in the Western world anyway) are now more aware of gender related issues thanks to media exposure. I'd say Transsexual issues are the most covered by the media of late. Cross dressing less so.
My experience of cross dressing in public left me quite perplexed which in time resulted in me losing the desire completely. Mind sound like I'm going off topic but bear with me.

I identify as a male and did so even when dressed. I didn't feel 'Trans' gender only transvestite. When I was out and about dressed I would identify as a man if questioned (which I was at times). In my experience the public just aren't ready for that. I doubt they will be any time soon somehow.

So some parts of the Transgender spectrum ie Transsexual, the public are becoming increasingly aware of and probably a bit more understanding.
Some areas under the Transgender 'umbrella' ie crossdressing not so much so.
Then there's the dude like me who looked hot as hell but didn't identify as trans gender at all. The public were confused by that and seemed to feel deceived. Hell I felt like I was deceiving them. I have a hunch that will never change but who knows?

Attitudes change slowly. I'm a bit of a cynic and I believe the majority of people in the world hold racist beliefs, homophobic attitudes and general condemnation of values and ways different to their own.. Some parts of some cities in some countries have experienced some change. But it isn't great. It's there but it could rapidly disappear and regress especially without the protection of equality laws etc.

[HollyGreene]

Being gay went from being illegal in many countries to so acceptable that you can get married, so being CD ought to become acceptable in the same way.
However, I think the general, heterosexual public get confused. They accept gays and lesbians as being different to them, but many (but not all) of them still appear in their assigned genders - gay men dress in mens clothes and lesbians dress in womens clothes. Very often if they don't make it absolutely obvious, nobody would know they were gay or lesbian.
When it comes to CDs it's a different matter, especially as a lot of M2F CDs are straight. People don't get it. If you're not gay, then how come you like to dress as a woman? So I think it will take a lot longer for it to be totally acceptable, and I doubt that it will happen in my lifetime.

[Robin414]

As for SO acceptance, lots of variables on that front that can impact that and acceptance by society in general is one.

I've been slowly coming out over the past year and although my presentation is most often 'tween' I would definitely not call it androgynous...more like 'masculine chic' and so far (touch wood) I find people are generally completely normal and even in a few cases down right nice (maybe they just feel sorry for me, masculine chic...maybe fuggly chic 😧 )

[Lauri K]

FWIW

I read a article today saying that transgender people are coming out of the woodwork at an alarming rate that is currently overwhelming the medical community, in particular PCP's and Endo's.

I think the tide is rising and it will come ashore like a tsunami someday soon, just saying that is my thoughts

Progress is being made, but it is up to all of us to help make it a reality

No progress can occur if you sit in the closet, get out and be a voice when you can.......and make sure you vote equality at all levels

[heatherdress]

Will there come a time when it becomes more accepted? - More accepted? Probably, but if the current accepted rate is 25% (hypothetical), and increases to 40%, is that significant or meaningful? Or to 50%? I doubt that slow, incremental acceptance changes will impact how most of us feel venturing out, or sharing that we crossdress with others.

And that more of society will come to realise that there are more of us out there than is currently thought? - If acceptance does occur, will more crossdress? Probably. Will more crossdressers venture out of the closet? Probably. Will it still be extremely difficult to estimate our population size. - Yes.

Will we ever be accepted as just being different? - I think crossdressers are already recognized as being different. Acceptance is different and difficult to obtain - because we are different.

[Robin414]

No progress can occur if you sit in the closet, get out and be a voice when you can.......and make sure you vote equality at all levels

Great point Lauri! I've often thought this myself, most recently (about a year ago now) when I went to my local MAC for some lip gloss and powder. I was kinda embarrassed 'sheepish' and thought 'shame on me, how am I portraying US!?'

Now when I'm shopping at LTS, hell yah I'd 'like to try it on', why wouldn't I? 😉

[Krisi]

Our spouses?

They married a MAN!

That is another ball game.

That's all you need to know.

[CarlaWestin]

There's quite a difference between commonplace and acceptable. We're quite a ways from commonplace but more of us are venturing out of the closet now that it is relatively safe. Are there really enough of us to actually be commonplace? And, acceptable and/or celebrated are rare occurrences in small circles.

[Tina81]

Several years ago I saw a Phil Donahue talk show on crossdresser since then I didn't hear much about crossdressers but recently there has been more media stories about crossdressers then come Bruce/Caitlyn and those transitioning.
Here some recent articles on crossdressing:
A You Tube on Phil Donahue show about crossdressers with the wives, attempting to explain why men crossdress.

An article about a couple in California..(Brian and Debbie McCloskey: He Wears a Dress. She's Fine With That)
http://www.laweekly.com/news/brian-a...h-that-4431752

... Longtime Couple Found That Clothes Didn't Make The Man http://www.npr.org/2015/04/03/397089...t-make-the-man
and the article about Will Smith's son Jaden who wore a dress to Prom, http://www.etonline.com/news/165398_...dla_sternberg/
and Susan Sarandon who is proud to have a son who wears a dress http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/...ry?id=31831733

there is also two other forums: Legwear as Unisex Fashion and skirtcafe.org

Things are changing...those who go out and those who go to support groups meeting soirée are the trailblazers as well as those who shop and admit it's for them.

When SOs see this forum and see how prevalent crossdressing is they begin to realize that we are all born this way.

[Alice Torn]

Holly Greene! Well said mate! Even if it ever does become commonplace, and accepted a lot more, i will still wear my dirty guy clothes or coveralls working on and under my pickup truck and car! Maybe lady clothes underneath, like last night!

[Pat]

Past performance is no indication of future results, but when I look back on what it was like in Boston in the 1950's as opposed to now, I'd say that, yes, barring major cultural setbacks it will continue to get better.

[Tina81]

Here's the correct link for the first link
http://www.laweekly.com/news/brian-and-debbie-mccloskey-he-wears-a-dress-shes-fine-with-that-4431752

[Amanda M]

Robin - you were embarrassed? I would NEVER have believed that. However. Well done. Here, in rural Spain, they don't bother with pitchforks. A quick dousing in petrol and a casually flicked cigarette end would be more likely. Lots of our locals cannot read, for example. That is NOT their fault, and they are lovely people, by and large. It is the result of years of oppression by the Franco dictatorship and CENTURIES of oppression by the Roman Catholic Church.

Not so in the cities, though. They are REALLY in the 21st century. In the more rural areas - and I suspect that this fits whether it is in the UK, US, mainland Europe or Australia and NZ, it is still difficult. The answer is EDUCATION.

[slamddoger]

ithink that it going to be comm. that pople will look at it is just anthen crossdresser out there

[sometimes_miss]

It's pretty well 'accepted' now in the large urban areas. People might look askance at you once in a while, but in general, leave you alone. You're no more in danger than a woman alone is, remember that when you want to experience what a 'real girl' does.

However. On the subject of how women feel about this; I don't think that's going to change much any time soon. growing up back in the sixties and seventies, listening to women complain about their men, I seriously thought that we were on the verge of social change, that women would start to find those of us who weren't the alpha male types, more attractive over time, that the 'brutes' would lose their appeal. Nothing of the sort has happened. Humans have a genetic predisposition to be attracted to behaviors and appearances in mates that have historically given their offspring the best chances at survival, and also to be repulsed, or turned OFF, towards that which would be least advantageous in a mate. So the perponderance of women finding alpha male traits attractive will continue for a very long time, as will the tendency of women to find femininity in men to be somewhat of a turn off. And it's that feeling of being sexually uninterested that affects us most, because without any attraction, love won't be there; we'll forever be in the friend zones at best. I know, I know, lots of guys here will insist 'look at all the crossdressers here who have accepting wives' and all that. But the fact of the matter is, there simply is no indication that there is any plentitude of women who really want us as mates. Argue all you want, they're simply not out there. The best we can expect is tolerance by women, and acceptance if we're very, very lucky (on the order of winning a lottery odds lucky).

That's as good as it gets. The vast majority of us will still be spending our lives alone in the forseeable future, unless of course you're bi or gay, then your odds of finding a mate increase slightly.

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes Miss, you told the painful truth. Many of us will die single.

[sometimes_miss]

Sometimes I feel like that's my primary function here; to keep at least some type of connection to reality. The pink fog gets pretty thick, sometimes it needs a big over opinionated windbag to blow it all away. That's me.

[joanne51]

It does not look as if we can expect any changes in attitude in the foreseeable future. I suppose if we all came out en masse there might be a possibility that the message might get across that we are not quite the very small minority that people thought we were.

The fact that that is not likely to happen will keep things the way they are. I don't know how many of us are content to just dress on those rare occasions. But there must be a lot of us (like myself) who feel they are missing out on the kind of life they would rather have.