When does going out as a CD become routine?

[Rachael Leigh]

There are several threads going on about going out and wanting to go out, it got me to thinking once you make that step to go outside of the comfort of home fully dressed most will find it to be exhilarating. Once you discover that you made it out and you didn't faint or get laughed at, although I've laughed at myself many times, you begin to become comfortable.
Then you look forward to the next time you find yourself wanting to interact even if the voice is not the most feminine.
So when does it become natural or routine and you realize that you can just do normal things like shop for groceries or grab a bite to eat or fill the car with gas. What does this mean to you? Those who have come to this point where you enjoy the time your out dressed and acting like any normal women in the world.
I find myself very close to this and I'm not sure what to think I mean I have a male side and enjoy that part of me but doing things dressed that for years I did in guy mode are now more pleasant and it gives me a feeling of joy. Why? I'm a guy and yet I can't help thinking did I get kicked in the head or is this just normal for me.
So are you who go out getting comfortable and if so why?
I wish there was a way to explain this to those of us who's wives try there best to understand and I know mine does but there are parts she doesn't get but I respect her and her feelings I know if I was on the other side of this I would probably have trouble too .
Anyway rambling now. It's your turn
Leigh

[gabyespinotv]

Never done it before, so i wouldn't know :(

[Alice Torn]

Leigh, after a few years being too chicken, I went out seven times last summer, with no major problems, but always some fear to resist. Part of me detests what i do,and fears being ridiculed, while part of me, feels free, and happy, and beautiful. I would guess, that if i have a negative , stressful experience, i may be back in the closet for some time, until the pain is past and numbed away. I hope to go out several times this summer again, and it feels more routine, unless something tramatic,negative happens.

[Nadine Spirit]

It became much more routine after I completed a bunch of stuff that I never thought I could do while dressed. Once I identified those things, and then proved that I could do them, then I began to understand that dressing is simply a choice. Sometimes if I feel like it, I will do it, other times that I don't feel like it, I don't do it. I no longer base that choice on whether or not I can do, it is simply a matter of if I want to do it.

So now.... shopping at Trader Joes or Costco, or going to a museum, or going to the movies, or going to pretty much anywhere....dressed as a woman.... is just as routine as going dressed as a man.

As far as to why it is comfortable now..... it is simply because I was afraid to be doing it or thought I couldn't, and now I have proven my own fears to be wrong/misplaced. As to how to explain it to someone who is not transgender..... I told my wife how I felt. It is not up to me to get her to understand, it is simply my place to attempt an explanation.

[Beverley Sims]

When I was younger I had a bevvy of girlfriends that escorted me out, there was never any fear as I only made up ten to twenty percent of the crowd.

My entourage always looked after me.

I once returned the favour when one of the girls mothers suggested I be their protector on a seaside holiday.

Yes five girls and I in a holiday shack one summer. :-)

[Allisa]

This is a tough one. I myself find that going out expressing my femme self is now very routine and feeling as one with myself, I no longer linger on the fact of how I'm dressed, I am just me and since I have no SO I guess I don't have to worry about anyone else and how it effects them. I now spend my weekends en femme because I feel as natural that way as I do in my domme mode of dress. And why shouldn't I do those things that need to get done just because of the way I'm expressing myself, no one is getting hurt, I'm not breaking any laws. If anybody does not like or approve of me than they can just go about their business and I along mine. Water off a ducks back with their comments and looks.I am not here to please anybody but myself. I've even gotten to the point that I sometimes do not do the "full" look and just wear what feels comfortable, if I am deceived as questionable gender than so be it. This probably didn't answer your question, but now I'm rambling.

[Cheryl James]

I hope to reach the point where you are one day. I do go out as often as my home life permits (not enough). My level of relaxation is far better than it was initially, however, I always know where the fire exit is and I am always aware of people in my proximity. In other words, I am on Code Red High Alert status most of the time that I am out. It doesn't stop me from going out, as exposure, I think, is the way to build up some immunity from my fears.

[JocelynJames]

I have only been out once , so i can't answer this except to say maybe someday i'll find out.

[Morgan Matthews]

I only go out once or twice a year. Part of the reason is I don't want to make it routine. I want it to be a special/exciting day that I look forward to for weeks.

[AllieSF]

Nadine gave a similar reasoning to mine. Once I felt comfortable and knowing that I could do it, I just kept adding activities to my to do list, including theater, museums, and wherever I would go in male mode, except, in my case there is an exception, anywhere where I may encounter someone who knows my male side only. That may change in the future. I will say that sometimes that first time to a new activity or specific untested. un-experienced locale may have me more attentive than usual. But that is extremely rare. I think that it may just boil down to comfort, security in oneself and the selected new activity. More repetitions, more positive experience and more confidence to keep it all up and going. It feeds on itself and then one day, we realize that the big thing was not so really big, but actually more natural.

[Kandi Robbins]

For me it has become quite comfortable, I don't like the word routine because there is still great joy in it for me and I hope that never changes. Now while I do mostly whatever I wish en femme, I still do not do it close to home, but that will never change.

Like many of the girls here, I continue to add new and different activities and places to visit. Each new adventure is so much fun!

[carhill2mn]

I have been out en femme hundreds (maybe over a thousand) times to a great many venues. Even though I routinely go places while en femme I do not think of it as being "routine". I always consider where I will be going and with whom when deciding what to wear etc.

I do not think that there is any "magic time" as to when someone feels comfortable in any or all circumstances. Things such as how well you have been received by others,
how well you present yourself, a sense of self-confidence, etc. all play a part. You will know when you have reached that point.

[PattyT]

Alissa made a lot of good points in her posting and I share the thoughts expressed there. Rambling Lissa? No way!
I too dress every weekend, as well as on holidays, and personal days off. In that sense it has become routine for me and very natural. Unless there is a very special reason, I would never even think about go out in drab on those days. Heaven forbid.
Recently, however, I have been pondering this idea of whether it has become just a routine for me. Yet, after several decades of going out so often en femme, I still find it exciting or even adventurous. As the day to dress approaches I really start to look forward to going out en femme and to think about what I’m going to wear. This is also a great pleasure and brightens up the day or two before going out. The joy actually going out en femme brings me has not let up one wit, let alone the feeling of calmness and relaxation. Being en femme is just so comfortable. It feels right. I think that when en femme is the only time I am the real “me”.
As I have mentioned in other postings, it is also a means of escaping from having to wear drab, male attire which does not suit my personality or taste in clothing at all. It feels wrong. I really don’t feel like going anywhere or doing anything when I’m in drab. En femme, however, I go to shopping areas, book stores, hobby shops, museums, special displays, visit historic places, and just get on a train and go somewhere. I feel so alive and want to get around. My energy level seems to know no bounds.
To answer this question, I would say it is routine in that I always dress when I can, but it has never let up being a fabulous experience.

[Krystenw]

I've been pretty much full time for a bit more then three years.
I don't know that it has become routine.
If I need to use the restroom I generally try to find a family room.
I still get uncomfortable if I have to use the ladies room.
But If I gotta, I gotta.
It sometimes has it's perks.
I went to the Doctor for a followup surgery appointment wearing a Levi skirt and sweater.
When I got there the receptionist told me the doctor was going to be about half an hour late.
So I had a seat in the waiting area with several others.
In just a few minutes they called me back.
I guess they didn't want any of the other patients to feel uncomfortable.
Just as the others have said, I don't think there is any Magic time.
Krysten

[Jenniferathome]

...As far as to why it is comfortable now..... it is simply because I was afraid to doing it or thought I couldn't, and now I have proven my own fears to be wrong/misplaced. As to how to explain it to someone who is not transgender..... I told my wife how I felt. It is not up to me to get her to understand, it is simply my place to attempt an explanation.

While I am not nearly where Nadine is, I think she captures the change well. While I do not see myself as transgender, just a cross dresser, I agree with Nadine on the "explaining" part. It is a challenge. My wife does not get it and she will never get it. She does, however, simply recognize that cross dressing is a real thing and a real part of me.

[docrobbysherry]

I can't pass, Leigh. Ever. Not on a moonless nite in a power outage. But, I get out pretty often. Only to be with other T's. Or, I'd probably never go out in public dressed. When I go out I get weird looks, goofy looks, fisheyes, open derision, or over the top courtesy from service folks. :brolleyes:

I am getting used to it. But, I will NEVER be comfortable out dressed!:sad:

[Eryn]

I think that my tipping point was when I realized that I had been out and about for a full day and never worried about my status. I just did what everyone else does every day without consideration. I was simply living life as i wanted to do so.

Since that day, I've become very comfortable with myself. Yesterday, after seeing my therapist dressed in a white top and a pink tie-dye maxiskirt, I shopped for a picture frame in two stores. The second happened to be across from a favorite BBQ place, so I called Mimi and asked if she wanted me to bring some home for dinner. She said that she did, so I stopped in and sat for 15 minutes while my order was prepared. Nobody batted an eye at me. The normalcy of these events gives me confidence that I have chosen the correct path.

[susie evans]

Leigh
that's an interesting thought, I started going out in the early 90's I think it took about 2 years in my case , I have learned that not many people really care, I can pass from a distance but up close is marginal at best , I have been to some places so many times that they only know Susie others know me in both modes of dress and address me in the mode as I present , at the end of the day I think it is different for each of us , enjoy life it is short
Susie

[BillieAnneJean]

I have been OUT enfemme somewhere between 100 and 150 times. I gas up the car, I have changed a flat tire in a dress and heels. Been grocery shopping, to the mall, to the fabric store, clubs, restaurants, thrift stores, all many times. Once I am OUT there it becomes almost natural.

ALMOST

Because I can still feel the difference in my center of gravity with the forms. Feel the corset, padded panties. The long hair. The swish. The temperature differences. The heels. And Knowing That I Am Somewhat Vulnerable. Because I am OUT there dressed as a woman. A bit more exposed than dressed as a guy, covered from neck to wrist to the end of my toes. I can feel the air in places not used to that.

But it is still fun. I still get butterflies before, still feel the excitement of the day's adventure when I step out the door, still get a kick out of seeing myself transform. And being OUT enfemme does feel right. Well as right as being someone else can be.

And then the day after I feel glad to be the real me. The guy. I could just get dressed enfemme again. But I choose to be a guy until the next week.

[Diversity]

For me, I am finding that I am taking more chances and becoming more bold and confident as I go out underdressed and more and more outer dressed. I continue to take more and more little steps which include more experiences. It is a growing phase I am enjoying.
Di

[mdavis]

Would love to find out one day. I've got a short beard at this point and don't do much in the way of makeup so it may be a while. I have an enclosed front porch on my house (all windows) and have ventured out there. The urge is there to go farther. One day.

[kkaye]

I have not been out in a while and, I am fighting urge because of my girl friend will not let me has any space. I go out when the feeling hits me. I miss it when, I can't get out due to business. But when, I do, I enjoy it other than when, I am approached by men or caught off guard by being called maam, or the shocked looked on someones face when, I talk. I goes with this love of mine.

[Tracii G]

Nadine and I seem to be in the same place.
Some days I dress enfemme and go do things I need to do like today I got into girl mode and went and paid some bills went to Harbor Freight for some tools.
Sure I could have done that in guy mode but I was feeling like dressing in girl mode.
Didn't plan it all out the night before and make a timeline or schedule just did it on a whim when I got up.
Felt normal all day and no one batted an eye anywhere I went.

[Sallee]

I don't get out much but when I do I usually will go where I please. It is the usual, the mall, a movie, walk around downtown or on the water front, pretty much anywhere. I have never had a problem but I know I have been clocked a few times. Maybe I get a smile or a second look. I like that because it has them with an "is she or isn't she" question. I will admit that always after a hiatus I am a little nervous and scared but that usually goes away pretty quick I do find that after awhile it all becomes normal and shortly after the normal stage I begin to grow bored with dressing because the thrill is gone. I find that after 3 or 4 days of dressing I am done with it for awhile but it does come creeping OK something rushing back after awhile

[Helen_Highwater]

As a direct answer to the question I would say rarely never. Why? Well 99.99999999% of the time, or greater, things will be just dandy. However if you fail to keep your whits about you sooner or later you'll get yourself into a situation were things may go horribly wrong. You as it stands, you need to keep that "radar" turned on. Knowing what else is going on around you. You do this even in drab so while enfemme an enhanced level of awareness is necessary.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a great dismissive of those who always worry about the "what ifs". Just keep those spider senses working.

[Cristy2]

I'm still working up the nerve to go out, but unfortunately, where I live and the neighborhood is not exactly LGBT friendly. :(

[Tracii G]

Always keep an eye on things around you and don't go places that you know you shouldn't.
Be smart and stay safe.

[ReineD]

It became routine for my SO after lots of practice. Lots. :)

For some years, my SO would go out two or three times per week doing a variety of stuff, including going to coffee shops with laptop and books, etc, to do work. This probably helped to normalize it more than anything else. It has become so normal that there is no longer a strong impetus to go out so often.

[josrphine]

I think the thread is very interesting, in fact I have just got up 6:00 am . On sat i usually get dressed an go out to the local casino, have been doing it for awhile. I don't think about it it's me. My wife goes to her AA meeting an spends most of the day with them. I don't get the looks as I have gotten so good at my make up I look just like one of the many women that are there. As far as bodys, all the great ones are at the beach, an the rest are shopping or at the casino. I have found that I now blend in an have no problem , lets be frank ladies we want to look like a women.

[1263kimberly]

I have only been out once , so I can't answer this except to say maybe someday i'll find out but I can not wait to do it again