? Busted?

[Cindy J Angel]

Well in a few mins I could be busted. out by one friend to we will c I am out to all most all but this friend is proble my best he In nc. Will repost in 15.

[natalie_cheryl]

so what happened?

[Cindy J Angel]

Fear FEAR is a bitch it holds on to anything it can. I have been worrying over this for some time. This is one of the last people I went to know. We r or I should say my best friend I have here in Charlotte and I not ready to lose he's friend ship just yet. If I hide from any body it is him. I talk a lot about being out and about and I am aver day. Only reason is money and that if I need help he would be there. Now with all that said. the fear of the unknow, that's the bitch that's what keeps us hid. He did not rat me out witch is good. Or not .... When he finds out that will be it. I will be out all. Was kind of hopeing he would talk so it would all be out. So own with the rest of he day. FEAR what a bitch.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

You are right, fear is a bitch. In my experience the best way to deal with fear is to confront the issue head on and deal with it directly as soon as you can. I think it is really best if you talk directly to friends and not let them find out by gossip. Timing can certainly be important since word can spread fast in some circles.

Once you can accept yourself for who you really are then hold your head high and be proud of yourself. Then it becomes easier to tell folks and it becomes easier for them to accept if you are confident of yourself. This trans business takes courage and confidence to make happen.

Easy for me to say and I know it is hard to practice. I am not fully out yet either as I am trying to plan how and when to come out to my work associates at the right time that it does not damage my consulting business and ability to keep clients and get new clients. It’s a small business community I work in and once the word is out that I am trans it will spread around town very fast.

So I know it is difficult and risky. Hang in there Cindy!

Hugs,
Stephanie

[Badtranny]

The best way to deal with fear is to confront it and not pretend otherwise.

Transition is a scary thing and you manage it by coming to a forum like this and talking about it. Deal with it right out in the open. Too many come here and put up a front that doesn't resemble their real life.

The people here who have already beat the fear and paid the price can give you the tools you need, but you need to be HONEST about what you're doing and where you're going. Otherwise, you are on on your own.

[Jennifer-GWN]

I know the first couple of folks I told on coming out terrified me. It tool me quite some time to get it out. One I knew going in I'd be fine as she's been by my side for many years. After getting it out and talking about it a bit she pulled out her phone and on it was a draft message to herself several months in storage ''He's either going to die or he's transitioning" was the note... She was right on both counts and remains my number 1 supporter. The other was a male friend I've known for 20+ years. As much as I thought through it I couldn't decide how he'd receive the news and it scared me to think that I might loose his friendship. This one took a nice dinner, many beers, and several hours. In the end super supporter. In fact the next morning after telling him I showed as a me since we were traveling together and it was simply off to shuttle then to breakfast at the airport without an bat of an eye.

We are hard on ourselves, paranoid, and get overly concerned on the negative results. In the end, looking back, they'll get to know at some point; your choice is simply timing and managing the situation to make it as positive a situation as possible. Beyond that if you are transitioning them finding out is inevitable today, next week, next month...

What I can say is I found choosing who, when, and the sequence was a very important part of my transition plan. Those who were disclosed early created the necessary foundation of confidence for me, ran interference ahead for me, and kept their eyes and ears open for any negative responses or criticisms out of my direct line of sight. What you do have to do is conquer your fears, hard as it is, coming out is not easy unless you through caution to the wind and take the Big Bang approach and just suddenly show up Surprise - New Me!

Things to consider...

Cheers... Jennifer

[Wendy me]

fear yes big time most know or should know the guy next door told everyone but in a red neck inbread way .... got tons of stuff from it and came away ok ..... thought the worse but some bull not bad had your braver than you think if you have to be ..... left my beach house to go out totaly Wendy for sure came back abought 2 am lights all on and family there what to do go in naked ??? no i strolled in said hi oh we all talked till the sun came up things might not be all good but not all bad eather

[arbon]

I am confused - are you are afraid of him finding out or of him telling other people?