What's Your "High Point"?

[BeccaClark]

I've been doing alot of reflecting back on my teenage years, and thinking about how much I hated myself for wanting to crossdress, no matter how hard I tried to shake the urges.
I was raised in a church, and taught that being gay or bisexual is a sin, and that trans people are messed up in the head.. So when I would find myself putting on my mom's mascara and lipstick, I'd feel this rush of happiness flood over me, and then almost as fast as it came, it went away, leaving me feeling ashamed... staring at a freak in the mirror.. "What the hell is wrong with me"...

Once I moved out, around the age of 19, I started to order crossdressing items off the Internet. I'd have a pretty nice collection going, and then after a big dress up session, I'd feel ashamed of myself, and I threw EVERYTHING away. The infamous Purge. Well a couple weeks would go by, and I'd find myself searching for more stuff online to order.. It was just a vicious cycle.

My girlfriend at the time (now wife) found some pictures I had taken of myself dressed up.. At that point, we had been together for a couple years. I've wanted to tell her about me ever since I started talking to her, but could never find the courage. Well now that she saw pictures, it was pretty much out.
We didn't talk about the pictures for almost a year, until we had a "coming clean" conversation one night.. I told her that ever since I was little, I've been into dressing up like a woman. That I'm not gay. And it's not something I chose to be into..
She didn't really understand, but she said she'd do her best to try.

That's been 3 years ago or so, and over the time, I've slowly been introducing her to more and more things. She's taken me shopping for girl clothes, we've done makeup together, just stuff like that.

She's still not 100% comfortable with me crossdressing, but I can tell she's trying for me, which is all I can ask for!

So going from being depressed, hating myself, purging everything I would buy- to being happy, loving life, and not having any urges to purge... I can definitely say that my "High Point" in my crossdressing has been finally opening up to my love, and finally starting to accept myself!

What's your high point??

[deebra]

My high point, female and society acceptance and manufacturers/designers offering more fem. type clothing for men.

[Beverley Sims]

Becca,
Congratulations on your high point, keep working at it and it will get better.

My high point was when I was twenty and simgle.

Things evened out a little since then.

I am getting older wider and heavier. :-)

[BillieAnneJean]

Every day when my wife says she loves me.

[Jenniferathome]

My high point was telling my wife.

[Lily Catherine]

My highest was a friend whom I had told about my crossdressing asking me about it without any prejudice or negative tone. He accepted it as it were, and I was already ecstatic to even find anyone who did. Not that I have a remotely certain chance for him to see me crossdressed at this point, but to get this far is already cause for joy.

Second to that was telling my parents. Sure, it was bad, I will never crossdress in front of them, I understand it's a little difficult for them to share this part of me, but the sense of relief that 'at least they knew' still stands. Above all, the consequences were far from calamitous and it forced me to look at my dressing differently.

[Tracii G]

Coming to terms with who I am and not caring what others think.
Second place would be coming out to a GGF I have known for 30 years and she was like "ok thats cool I never knew you were into that."

[Amanda M]

I've had so many high points - being accepted, going out together with Cat... I could go on. The point I would like to make is this. Where you are now is wonderul, I hope, for both of you.

As for the religious issue? Forget it!.
What a load of rubbish. Don't want to get theological, but if anyone wants to argoe this, PM me. It is NOT for Forum discussion.

Stay safe,. Dress as you want, and love, love love your lady.

[Diversity]

My high point is virtually the same as yours. Having come out to my wife nearly 4 years ago, and now finally beginning to see her taking steps to better understand me and engage in conversation about clothing and makeup is a real beginning to me if her making a real effort toward some degree of acceptance.
I am fortunate to have my wife whom I love so much.
Di

[Teresa]

Becca,
Your very lucky to have hit the high point at your age with your wife, some of still haven't got there yet .

As for my high point it's very much like Bev's it happened before I got married with an ex GF , I better not say anymore

As for a more recent high point it has to be walking out the door fully dressed and driving to my first social evening .

[suchacutie]

The very first time my wife and I planned for me partially to dress, and I had done just that, after admiring my legs (which was amazing in itself) she then said, "we have to buy you a dress"! I think my mouth must have hung open as she immediately turned to a computer and started looking for the dress.

A lesser but very wonderful moment a number of years later occirred when out of the blue she turned to me and said, "I think Tina is really sweet." Do I love that woman, or what!

[BeccaClark]

Great responses, girls!

I definitely know what you mean, Lilyy. I was having a hard time getting my thoughts into words on my original post. But you said it nicely "at least they know".

Before my wife knew my secret, it was only me. And I didn't think anyone would accept me. So yeah. It was hard.
But finally coming out to my wife was a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders.

I don't foresee me telling anyone else about me, unless somehow it gets leaked and people start asking questions.

Again, great responses!!

[ShelbyDawn]

My high point came when I fully realized that my dressing was normal and just a part of who I am. (Three years of therapy helped.)

From this I realized that I don't need to pass or even try to.
I can find ways to dress that are not intrusive into my life.
I can be comfortable with who I am and what I am doing.
I wear panties and a bra every day. (I found a bra that is actually my size and is not obvious under my normal clothes. My little AA man boobs actually fill it up which is nice. :) )
I wear jeans designed for women and nobody notices.
For the times when I need to go further, I have forms, some skirts, garters, stockings and a few pair of heels in my closet that I can wear around the house.

I do live by myself so I don't face SO issues. If I do find someone, I guess it may change things but I plan to be upfront about this aspect of my life as soon as I feel things may get serious.

[Alice Torn]

It has to be a tie, between the first full day i was out, 12 hours in several cities and towns, in western Washington in 2005, in a short dress. And last summer in Stoughton Wisconsin, walking around downtown, and actually going into a bakery, ordering cream puffs, then going across the street, and going into a post office, and buying stamps, talking with a male postal counter worker! Many people saw me while driving, and others walking.

[gina shiney]

My high point (at present) would have to be on this site. The stories advice and information are really helping me understand myself. I only found it by chance after looking for a local support group under advice by my psychologist. Un usually for me clicked on it and paradise.
Gina shiney

[rebecca_ns]

My high point was finally letting the real me out of the closet. Finally realizing that I am a guy who just likes to look and feel pretty from time to time. And telling my wife. That was a pretty high point too. :-)

[TrishaLake]

so far and only so far....going to a few parties in town and the wife knew. I love going to them and hanging with the girls. In the future, I hope to attend more and be able to dress in full around my wife...we are about half way there, but you need to be slow and patient. She is slowly coming around and we are very honest with each other...

[nikkiwindsor]

My high point was my wife accepting who I am :)

[Linda Leigh]

My high point was telling my wife after hiding it for years. She does not like it or understand but does help me buy clothes on occasion.

[GenieGirl]

My high point has been just living as a girl openly and recently starting to date a girl who is amazing and gay.

[flatlander_48]

This. Being on stage and introducing myself as DeeAnn in front of ~130 people...

[rachelatshop]

My high point is every day when I get home and give my loving wife a hug and kiss, knowing that although our relationship could be more accepting, we still love each other, and I can dress as much as I need.

[josie_S]

I really love this thread...you girls are inspirational!

my high point has been every time i had the courage to take what i used to only show my mirror out into the world. i would love to have the courage so many of you have had, but I've never been strong enough to share this side of myself with my SOs. I used to think it was because i was afraid of being rejected, but now im starting to realize that i'm afraid of accepting myself, and without that, I dont feel confident asking someone to accept me also. but this thread helps :)

[Lucey]

My high point to which there are many, but will say that I am a fortunate person to have a wife, who has accepted and loved me all of these 40 plus years.

As for myself, it has been that after all of my 60 plus years, I recently have now accepted the fact, that I am a Cder. And now wonder why, it took so long to realize that fact.

[Laurenlovecd]

I still remember what I guess would be my high point. I purchased my first quality wig from Voguewigs.com, The brand was a Forever Young, I don't remember the style, but I was bummed to find that it was out of production when I wanted to replace it (I purged twice a few years ago). Anyway, I remember the day I put the wig on in the mirror and I was just stunned and excited with how I looked. I knew from that point on that I was going to have fun with my new life, and make no mistake you do have a new and different life when you start crossdressing. That's been about 6 years ago now. I'm so happy with my progress.

[Michelle Girl]

So many high points in the two years since my wife accepted and saw me fully dressed for the first time. This is overwhelmingly the most important thing as it has given me the chance to speak regularly with her and to dress openly when the occasion permits. The other highs have to be:

Walking into a cocktail bar at a CD event and ordering a drink as Michelle, dressed for the occasion and the feeling of being an elegant woman mingling in a busy bar. This was my first time out and visible to anyone other than my wife.

Putting on my wig for the first time and seeing the utter transformation...how this just feminised my whole look and had me staring with joy at the mirror as I saw a face framed with long hair that I could scarcely recognise. This was the finishing touch to complement my female outfits and it gave me the confidence to feel I could perhaps present semi plausibly as a woman. A real high.

Last one would be going out and walking down the street dressed for the first time , with the sound of my heels clacking on the pavement.

Michelle

[CarlaWestin]

I guess one high point was looking in the mirror after a pro makeover by Amy. I said, "Hello Carla, nice to see you." And then held back the tears.

[PattyT]

Every single time I step out the door dressed up is a high point, the greatest adventure begins. It never lets up and never becomes "old hat," even after several decades of cross dressing.

[bimini1]

That's one powerful photo flatlander_48. For me it was walking into a very public area in broad daylight a few months ago. Now you have to understand I am 6'5". No one said a word, I was treated with kindness, no looks, nothing. It was a non event and one of the most peace filled times I can recall.

[lingerieLiz]

I would say going out on a date as a girl. My friend played the guy and I was dressed as Sandra Dee. He had a 57 chevy convertible. We went to a costume party and sox hop at the drive in movies. Wore a white blouse, white bra that showed, poodle skirt with 3 petticoats. Had the shoes and bobby socks. My landlady who was a beautician did my makeup and hair. The cool part no one knew I was a guy and we were one of the winning entries. Gave me the confidence to dress full time except for work and school.

[Robin414]

My high point was telling my wife.

Yep, that one not only took sooo much stress off but seriously strengthened the relationship! YMMV of course (I'm not a lawyer but I play one on TV 😉 ) ... it takes a lot of 'intestinal fortitude' but it just MIGHT be the the best thing you'll ever do!

[flatlander_48]

That's one powerful photo flatlander_48.

Thanks so much!!

Later that month I did brief discussions on the concept of Transgenderism and showed a photo of DeeAnn followed by an explanation. Along with having 1/1 discussions with my daughter and son, my then department manager and about 8 close friends, the overall total was 200+.


For me it was walking into a very public area in broad daylight a few months ago. Now you have to understand I am 6'5". No one said a word, I was treated with kindness, no looks, nothing. It was a non event and one of the most peace filled times I can recall.

The thing that people often forget is that there are genetic women in the population who are that tall, and taller. You're probably not going to see one every day, but they are out there!

Continued Good Times!

DeeAnn

[sometimes_miss]

My high point was probably when I was still married, and we were going to therapy together for several reasons, one of which was my crossdressing. At that point, my wife was in the 'accepting, but doesn't like it' stage. Or it appeared that she was. Her joining several support groups, which all told her how evil I was and of course started all the war stories about husbands who were really gay or TS and just lied to their wives all the time, planted the seeds of hate in her, and within three years it was all over, as was the 'high point'. It was all downhill from there. So now I live in the valley, 200 feet below sea level. Lots of women in the valley, none of them interested in crossdressers. So I date straight, test the waters about how they feel about TG and crossdressing, and am inevitably dissapointed, break it off, and start all over. It's kind of like buying lottery tickets; you don't expect to ever win, but at least there's a infinitesimal possibility. And maybe pigs will fly. We'll see.

[Sophia143]

I've recently had a few high points. After my SO caught me dressed up she said,"At least you look cute." After numerous deep conversations she has become a pillar of support and encouragement, I couldn't ask more of her.

A few months ago at the grocery store (I was in girl mode) a middle aged Hispanic woman came up to me and told me how proud she was to see me go out with the courage to be myself. My jaw about hit the floor.

[josrphine]

I like the part were sometimes miss said " its like buying a lottery ticket ' I have won. When i first met my wife 10 yrs ago, on our first date I had been invited to her home as the weather was very bad. I told her that i would bring a bottle of wine an a pot of venison chille. After eating ,an some wine I could see we liked one another an it was going to be a very nice night. I made it a practes to let any women that I met that I was a C D. It makes life easier, for me anyway. Her reply was so what I am a Greanage Vllage girl. So ten yrs later plus, we go out every were. Goin out as sister is the best. JO

[Mykaa]

My high point, the day I officially joined here and said, Yes I am a cross dresser, Bad feelings, guilt are in the past, Im done with that, I have a new job, acceptance and a smile on my face, right along with a new attitude, Life is good.

[flatlander_48]

To all who have, or will, post here...

One of the reasons that I like to read threads like this is because it validates us. While my personal situation is pretty good, we do have to realize that we are, at the very least, on the fringes of accepted behavior if not beyond. But, the fact that our numbers are growing and many people are not just doing well, but thriving, should help to give us great hope for the future irrespective of our current situations.

In the broader sense, this is what Community is about. If you're doing well, let us feel that positive energy. If you're in the midst of difficulties, allow yourself to be embraced and bouyed by the strength and example of others. The only way to do this is to move forward together.

So, ladies, keep doing what you're doing!

DeeAnn

[Martha G]

My high point is that I realize I have a feminine aspect to my personality. It also comes about mainly when I have a lot of stress.

In a way it relieves my tensions and worries.

I have actually enjoyed myself when dressed and presented as a woman. I also have been moving towards being more feminine and woman like.

The best part is that I make a very attractive and passable woman when dressed.
Also I look so much younger as a woman than a male.

It's a win-win situation.

Why fight it! Enjoy it!

[Karren H]

I'm still waiting for my high point. Hope it gets here before I expire!! Lol

[audreyinalbany]

I guess my high point (so far) has been going out en femme with my sister. My wife and I are in a IDWTS ("I don't want to see ") relationship, so the chance to spend time with a gg was invaluable. I got a make over in the morning then met up withy sister noonish. Spent the afternoon at a museum then out to dinner together. She told me I had a 'good Saturday look' going . That was pretty nice to hear.

[CynthiaD]

I've had lots of high points, mostly associated with family and career. But as far as getting my life together, the highest point was accepting myself as transgendered. Before that point, I was frustrated and unhappy most of the time, without ever knowing why. I had a great family and a successful career, but it didn't make any difference. But shortly after I accepted myself as transgendered, all that changed. I would wake up in the night crying -- tears of joy. Because I'd finally figured it out. I knew who I was. Since that time my life has finally come together. There are still frustrations, but I can deal with them without going to pieces. I'm happy most of the time, for the first time in my life. I'm living my high point right now.