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View Full Version : Can you believe SA came out to me !



Teresa
03-22-2016, 12:05 PM
I had an appointment with my opticians today, had all the checks done and went on to choose my frames. I then asked the SA if he could do a deal on a third pair in a Lady's style, so he looked at me for a few seconds and then gathered himself and took me to the Women's selection . As we were deciding what suited me he confessed that he'd been out dressed to a Halloween party and then admitted how good it felt , he was beginning to redden up so I told him not to worry it wasn't a problem .
In between assessing my frame fittings he kept asking questions , eventually we had a really good discussion about CDing , I could see there was more to it than a one off event , he was obviously wanting to go further. I left saying that when I collect the new glasses I would bring some pics with me, he thanked me for that and being prepared to talk about it.

Allisa
03-22-2016, 12:44 PM
WOW, Teresa, from a recently out CDer to a confidant and possibly mentor, Good show. Do tell him of your group meetings if you think it prudent. I take it you were dressed as your male self? I forgot, do post pics of your new specs please.

Rachael Leigh
03-22-2016, 12:50 PM
Teresa sounds like you made a friend, I'm sure he was very appreciated of your conversation.
So nice

Nikkilovesdresses
03-22-2016, 02:05 PM
Your first groupie!

Sallee
03-22-2016, 02:11 PM
thats great I know there are a lot of us out there we all just have to be a bit more open about it. I like to say that I am in the closet fo rhte most part but the door to the closet is open. YOu just have to peek in and ask and I'll be out to you

Teresa
03-22-2016, 02:23 PM
Lisa,
I'm still not happy about wearing glasses and have very few pictures when wearing them but if they look OK I'll post a pic, as you asked so nicely. It was an amusing conversation I had with him because when I was trying the different styles on I commented that perhaps I should have brought my wig to get the look right .
Yes I was dressed in drab .

I should also add that I did him the courtesy of asking if he minded helping me choose female frames, he admitted that it was the first time he'd been asked to do this but obviously under the circumstances it was an opportunity he wasn't going to miss out on.

I hope I haven't opened too much of a can of worms with him because when I commented on the fun I'd had shopping he was amazed that I'd had the courage to to do that. I tried to play it down by saying that's taken so many years to get to this point.

Sallee,
Even in the closet it's still nice to fumble round in feminine glasses !
You never know they may help to improve my eye makeup routine !!

flatlander_48
03-22-2016, 02:32 PM
T:

It is always fascinating to me what we will reveal to a relative stranger. And MANY times within the first 5 or 10 minutes of the conversation, you will know exactly what the person is struggling with. Further, that seems to be independent of whether you know the person of not. Once people sense that you're mostly benign and not going to be particularly judgmental, the environment feels safe and that's what empowers them to speak. Evidently the energy that surrounds you is low key and welcoming.

Keep doin' what you're doin'.

DeeAnn

Teresa
03-22-2016, 02:38 PM
DeeAnn,
I guess after so many years of struggling with the situation you don't want to see others make the same mistakes !
I did make the comment that I hoped I hadn't influenced him in the wrong way , he replied that he makes his own decisions but it was something that had bothered him and couldn't explain to anyone why .

Leelou
03-22-2016, 02:54 PM
That's a sweet story, thanks for sharing. I think you handled it very well, good job!

reb.femme
03-22-2016, 03:54 PM
You could be the catalyst for the birth of his/her transgender awareness. Obviously, the dressing has been sampled, but like many of us here when we first encounter like minds, it's the realisation that we are not some kind of weirdo or pervert. We just have a feminine side that requires release.

We can experience trepidation on the road of our trans discovery, but it can be equally exciting and you could be the reason for a newly unfurled blossom.

Becky

Sarah Beth
03-22-2016, 04:05 PM
It must have a taken a lot of courage to him to open with you about that. It was nice of you to be supportive you must be a really good person.

Teresa
03-22-2016, 04:14 PM
Sarah,
I didn't hesitate in my request to, I guess he sensed my open acceptance without feeling guilty, also he could see that I wasn't shocked by what he told me . I asked him to repeat it to make sure I'd got it right before I took the conversation further.

MsVal
03-22-2016, 04:34 PM
Peering a little deeper, you may be on the cusp of saving him from a life of frustration. He may never have knowingly met a transgender person and may have wrongly thought that he was somehow dirty, sick, depraved, sinful... We all know the routine, and we know it well. Meeting you may be the best thing his psyche has ever had.

It may be that inflection point in your own journey where you are lead to more closely examine your own feelings in order to understand and help with his. I believe that each of us is more experienced than someone else, and subject to being seen as a mentor. I know you can handle that responsibility, and I know it will be done with great wisdom and sensitivity.

No pressure - none at all...

Best wishes
MsVal

phylis anne
03-22-2016, 05:32 PM
Teresa,wow what a day huh? [I] have had some similliar occurances but it was me admitting my feelings both parties encouraged me .As to your glasses if your avatar is you I bet you would look great with the right style of frames
hugs phylis anne

BLUE ORCHID
03-22-2016, 08:23 PM
Hi Teresa:hugs:, You just never know what the next guy is up to, That's great.:daydreaming:

Heidi Stevens
03-22-2016, 08:32 PM
You handled it beautifully Teresa! But did you tell him about Crossdressers.com?!?! He may even more questions for you if you let him swing by here for a visit! Good luck.

Stephanie47
03-22-2016, 09:10 PM
Educate the SA and invite him to your social club. You may be starting a trend in your village.

nvlady
03-22-2016, 09:45 PM
Heidi beat me to it. I was going to tell you to tell him about our site. It sounds like he is deep in the closet (does this little room have a door?) and would benefit immensely by seeing how many of us are here.
When most of us start out, we don't think there is anyone else in the world that does this.

grace7777
03-23-2016, 02:27 AM
Teresa,

It seems to me that he has been wanting to tell somebody for a while now, yet was afraid of what the reaction might be. When you came in and asked about women's frames it provided him an opening. It is wonderful that you were able to have a good discussion. Looking forward to hearing what happens when you come back to pick up the glasses.

Barbara Black
03-23-2016, 07:50 AM
I was wondering if it was harder for him to find feminine glasses for you, not having done it before, especially without a wig? I can't find a pair for myself, strictly male on male mode, I just don't see what looks good on me one way or the other. Hmm, perhaps I should try on women's glasses at a store sometimes and see if I can tell what looks good on me that way? ha ha

Teresa
03-23-2016, 10:35 AM
Barbara,
In male mode I look for glasses with minimum frame width and narrow arms to avoid the feeling of wearing blinkers, I looked for the same in female ones and found some neat frames in a reddish pink. He was hesitant at first but when he realised I was serious about finding the right ones he was more than helpful and agreed on my choice.

Jilmac
03-23-2016, 09:10 PM
I have a feeling your new feminine glasses will enhance your femme persona. I can sense that because mine did just that for me