Horrible Experience

[Cristy2]

Been very lonely here lately. Don't have many what one could call a real friends here and what acquaintances I do have are not LGBT friendly at all.:sad: I placed an ad in the strictly platonic section of the local personals in hope of finding a like thinking CD/TG friend to chat with and maybe hang out with. You would think that in a city as large as Jacksonville, Fl there would be at least one other CD/TG who is just looking for a like thinking friend.:straightface: In spite of doing everything possible to make it very clear that I was only looking for a friend and nothing more the replies I got were everything but what I was looking for. Most of the replies were so disgusting that they almost made me vomit.:Angry3: In total disgust, I quickly took the ad back down.

Where the heck does one go just to find a like thinking CD/TG friend????????????:sad:

[Alice Torn]

C, i can relate. Similar situation, and single here. tried ads in several sites, and have only gotten replies from those wanting quick sex. My ads spelled out that i wanted only to model, dance, go walk, some touch, but no penetration. All want what i said i don't want. i even put an ad up for bicycling friend as guy, and only got replies for sex! Craigslist in notorious this way! Some other ones, too. I guess we need to find personals that are less that way. No CDTG supports group near there? None here. Oh the times we live in!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You're going to have to spread the net wider Cristy. Have you searched online for LGBT support/social groups? It may mean a lengthy drive, but it sounds like you're motivated? If you can make friends you then may be able to meet halfway.

I'm sorry it's been so unproductive so far. Don't give up- keep trying.

Hugs, Nikki

[Nashmau]

seriously why are ppl trying to use graigslist for friends. urgh. but my husband sounds like you, so here is what i suggested to him:

1) this website might have ppl from your Area, maybe someone is interested to meet you
2) google some supportgroup, personally i found the most trustable groups the ones that offer support for teenager too. at least for me its a sign they take it serious. plus you not only meet ppl, but you actualy can talk to them in safety. as example this: http://therapydepartment.com/transgender-support-group-in-jacksonville/
3) In Germany, we have Meetingplaces like a Café, were ppl can meet and greet in a friendly enviorement. Florida should have something like this

[Alice Torn]

Nashmau, It is Cristy's thread, but, i want to thank you for the info, too, all the way from Germany! With all the things happening to Europe, and upheavals, I imagine one must be careful, there, also.

[Cristy2]

The nearest support group to me is on the "Southside" a good thirty miles one way for me. Wouldn't be so bad if I had a vehicle of my own, but I don't and can't afford a Taxi both ways and our bus service is a disgusting joke to say the least. There is a group that is a little closer, but they are more a fetish club than a support group which is about par for the course here in Jacksonville.

[Nashmau]

@Alice i live in the USA currently, so no worrys there, but thanks for thought.

@cristy and noone who can borrow you a car for some hours? once a month?

[ReineD]

I agree with Nashmau. Whenever people advertise for friendship or companionship, whether this is done via personal ads in local newspapers or websites like Craig's List, the premise of anonymity behind the ads leads to assumptions that people want sex, even if the ads don't specify this. I even make those assumptions ... there's another current thread of a CDer who advertised for friendship and got a response from someone who wanted to humiliate him. I initially assumed that this CDer would have understood this before placing the ad, and the reason for placing the ad was to get into kink even if this wasn't specified.

Even before the internet, personal ads in newspapers were filled with people wanting sex, veiled under the guise of "friendship". It was just understood. It is not wise to advertise for friends, anywhere.

Like Nashmau said, find members here who live near Jacksonville (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?40446-Rogina-B) and they can point you to resources like other members here from the area or local support groups.

[Helen_Highwater]

You're going to have to spread the net wider Cristy. Have you searched online for LGBT support/social groups? It may mean a lengthy drive, but it sounds like you're motivated? If you can make friends you then may be able to meet halfway.

I'm sorry it's been so unproductive so far. Don't give up- keep trying.

Hugs, Nikki

Cristy,

Nikki's advice is sound. I Googled; LBGT support "Jacksonville FL" and TG support "Jacksonville FL" and got loads of hits. I'd be extremely surprised if there isn't a support group in Jacksonville where you can meet and talk to other like minded folk.

[Cristy2]

Like I said most of the support groups are on the southside of town, more than twenty-five to thirty miles away. When you have no vehicle of your own, that may as well be 1,000 miles away.

[ReineD]

If you get to know people here, maybe someone will offer to drive you there?

Also, if you take public transit to get around, some TG support groups offer a room to change in. My SO's group does, there are always a few people who cannot leave their homes dressed (either their wives disapprove or they don't know).


Edit

There's a one hour TG support group meeting in the late afternoons on Southside Boulevard. I'm sure you can attend in guy mode, the purpose would be to get to know others. Bus #8 gets you there from downtown Jacksonville and you can email Kristie to find out when is the next meeting. Here's the notice:

http://therapydepartment.com/transgender-support-group-in-jacksonville/


Also, click on the link in my prior post. It goes to one of our members' profile page. She lives in the Jacksonville area. I've known her for years and she is very nice.

[Alice Torn]

Is Uber cheaper? never tried it. but, you wouldn't want to try it all dolled up, i imagine. Lots of distance and miles, and no car is challenging. maybe like Reine said, there is someone from here, nearby.

[Lorileah]

Like I said most of the support groups are on the southside of town, more than twenty-five to thirty miles away. When you have no vehicle of your own, that may as well be 1,000 miles away.

So the question is- If you can't drive or take a taxi to meet, what will you do if you get an honest reply? Ask them to drive to see you? I understand public transportation issues, I wouldn't ride a bus even though I am transitioning if I could prevent it. But I have taken the light rail here in Denver many times. No idea what Jacksonville has. How about Uber or Lyft?? Placing ads is like putting on a big sign that says "Hey I am alone and desperate." so that brings up the next thought. If you do find someone willing to meet, where would you meet (and please do not say at or near your house) The suggestions have been made to go to a support group. One time may be all you need to find someone willing to pick you up and drive you home that may live near you. But you should make the first effort.

[Cristy2]

I was in hopes that there would be someone or something in my area of town. I'm giving up on the whole darn thing.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Cristy,
I wouldnt give up so soon....give things time and you will find someone who will be what you are looking for.
I am not actively searching but I believe anything is possible....
Give it some time!:love:

[Sometimes Steffi]

Christy

I think you need a car. Maybe you could rent one.

I wouldn't accept a ride from someone that I didn't know or just met.

I wouldn't take public transportation en femme. I've been out and about for several years, and still haven't taken public transportation.

I'm also not sure if I would feel safe in a taxi or Uber.

[Tracii G]

If you are of the mind set to just give up trying that shows you don't want it bad enough to put forth the effort to make it happen.
Sorry to be blunt like that but you have to work for what you want.

[PaigeT]

Sorry, I left Florida too soon, it seems. I will be your friend. If I get back down there, I will look you up. You don't have to work for anything like a friend. If someone is willing to be a friend, they don't want you to work for it. Hugs and wishing you well.
Paige

[Erin Lafleur]

Hi Cristy,
So sorry to hear of your predicament and the loneliness that you so clearly feel. I think most of us here have felt that way at some time or another in our lives.
As others have said, why not contact that support group via email and explain your difficulties in attending as you have to us?
Kristie may know of a group member who lives in your area and would be happy to help you with your transportation issues. (and maybe make your first understanding friend in the bargain).
It's a bit of a long shot perhaps but sometimes the universe provides what we need, just when we need it. You certainly have nothing to lose by taking that first step.
Don't give up...
Hugs and best wishes,
Erin

[PaigeT]

I've not only taken a taxi, in Daytona, the driver kept glancing in his mirror, and getting out I gave him a peek at my panties. ( Very mini dress ) We both enjoyed it.

[Cristy2]

I would love to be in Daytona now. I built the bar and the booths in the Rainbow Lounge.

[flatlander_48]

I was in hopes that there would be someone or something in my area of town. I'm giving up on the whole darn thing.

Kid, dealing with gender issues is a whole lot tougher than finding transportation. Sorry to say that if you have this much trouble, then dealing with gender issues is going to be like hitting a brick wall.

Everyone here is struggling with something. That's a given or why would they be here in the first place. But the important thing is that most of them are fighting back in order to have the life that they desire. While it is nice to have things easy from time to time, what we work for and struggle for is what we respect and appreciate the most.

C2, you can do this. While I would never say that it is easy, I would certainly say that it isn't impossible.

Good Luck!

DeeAnn

[Tracii G]

Nothing in life worthwhile is ever easy to attain, You want it you have to really want it and make the effort to make it happen.

[Helen_Highwater]

OK I have transport but as I'm in the closet I've driven literally 100+ miles to be able to meet up with others. If I can do that you can at least take the advice of others and send a few emails and see what happens.

Further to what Traci said;

1 If you don't ask, you don't get
2 Nothing ventured nothing gained
3 You won't know unless you try.

[Andar]

Huh. Same Here.
I just moved to Fernandina, north of Jacksonville, and was wanting someone to hang out with. I can't really CD at all because of roommates and I dont really think I'd be up for a support group. I do have a car, but driving terrifies me. My one experience in Jacksonville so far was me and a buddy going to a convention in the Southside and me chickening out on the drive and asking that he do it. Jacksonville is a nightmare city ... with all of its roads ... and other cars ... but I guess that's every city and I'm just weak.
But yeah, if you wanted to chat I could perhaps maybe do that.

[Cristy2]

Jacksonville can be a traffic nightmare for sure, but it doesn't hold a candle to Alexandria Virginia, that traffic is insanity. Jax really isn't too bad once you learn the main drags. I'm actually in the Oceanway part of town. Not too far from Fernandina.

[gina shiney]

Wow 3 hours from first post to giving up?
are you ok? I think that maybe you are expecting a bit much from the community to respond in such a short time frame.
Not ment to be mean just honest. Give it some time a couple of days there are good people here but not always on line.

[Kandi Robbins]

Not sure if you are comfortable going out or not. If you are comfortable and are looking for companionship while out, I am going to suggest what I preach as the best way to get out: volunteer. While you probably won't find another CD/TG to befriend, you will have the opportunity to simply be accepted and make friends from there. It has worked very well for me as I have fostered many real friendships with many GGs that have sustained. I have posted about this recently if you are interested.

[TrishaLake]

You have to find local groups on Meetup etc...Fetlife works too. They usually allow for a cross-section of ladies looking to meet for conversation, drinks or more

[Rita Leigh]

Nashmau's advice is excellent and provided a real link for you to connect with others of like minds...take advantage of that link and get started living.

[Rogina B]

Seeing that I live some of the time in Jacksonville,I'll comment. She is not in a good location of the city to have no way to get around. There are TG groups that are politically active that I am a member of.However,the meetings and events are not close by her at all. Jax has the same footprint as Chicago..huge !