PDA

View Full Version : First year on HRT



Heidi Stevens
03-28-2016, 08:42 AM
Last Friday, March 25, marked one year since beginning HRT. Over the weekend I did a lot of reflecting on where I am now and where things are going.

First and foremost, I feel the best I've been in many, many years! My confidence is back and physically I think I'm in great condition for a 60 year old. I'm not as quick tempered as I used to be before. My EMPATHY has shown up, much to the surprise of my wife! Most of all a lot of my anxiety has left. The only real tension I have is wondering if I'm keeping my physical appearance "male" enough for my wife and I to continue our 27 year marriage. So far I continue to present as a male in my wife's world to keep things happy. And for now, I'm good with that. My love for her is as strong as ever and I wish to keep it that way.

My wife does not care for Heidi, but has come to realize that I need to express myself from time to time. She has seen the changes that have happened since last March, and as far as I can tell, is pleased as well with my behavioral changes. She has given me space to attend conferences and times during the week where Heidi can be herself. I credit the HRT for helping me keep our relationship alive.

I have told this before, that I am holding on my dosage amount to keep me from physically changing too much. I am at a level that is doing wonders for my mental state and not causing drastic changes in appearance. This does not mean there have not been any changes in appearance. My skin is softer, my hair on my head is thicker and my love handles have started showing up in my rear end. Then there is the growth of my breasts. I've had a broad, but flat chest, from years of being a competitive swimmer in my teens. I never had much pectoral fat, moobs if you will, in my recent years. Until now. It took almost 9 months, but the girls are starting to show and this may be one of my future problems in trying to maintain a male presence in my wife's world. She thinks this may be a problem too. But as I continue to point out to her, men my age have bigger breasts than I do now and no one seems to have a problem with them being bare chested. I assured her I'd be discrete.

So that's a nutshell in what I've gone though in my first year on HRT. I realize there are a lot of you who have been on it for years and have different goals for why you are on it. But we all are seeking true happiness, and right now I have found it. I hope to keep things stay the way they are for now, but life can toss us anything and I hope I'll be prepared.

PretzelGirl
03-28-2016, 08:54 AM
Heidi, happiness and getting through life is the key. We all have our differences in our paths. I have happy that this is working for you. It is a somewhat uncommon path, but if you can be a year down the road and praising how it is working, then you are doing well.

LeaP
03-28-2016, 10:48 AM
Estrogen is a very powerful hormone. The changes may be slow, but they will continue. In any event, to a certain point you can safely and effectively flatten yourself with the right tank underneath your shirts. The real difficulty isn't so much that as it is the circumstances in which you might normally just wear a light T-shirt… or a bathing suit. Breasts, by the way, are shaped very differently than moobs (or developed pecs, for that matter). And they become noticeable as breasts when smaller than the moobs of the men you mention.

Congratulations on holding things together! I hope it continues well for you.

Eringirl
03-28-2016, 06:33 PM
Hi Heidi: So glad that you have found a protocol that is working well for you! Hope it continues to go well....

Lauri K
03-28-2016, 07:13 PM
Heidi, thanks for the update it seems like it was just last week you started HRT, glad to see you are doing great and I so wish your SO would warm up to Heidi being around.

Cant wait to see what your 2 year update looks like !!!

PennyNZ
03-29-2016, 02:28 AM
Thank you Heidi for passing on your experiences.
From my perspective, being only 2 months since I started HRT, it does help me understand more about what "could" happen in the 10 months ahead. I realise everybody is different and progress or lack of it, is the norm for someone else too
Thanks again
Penny

wanagione
03-29-2016, 10:48 AM
Hello Heidi, I'm glad things are going well for you!

jeri1973
03-30-2016, 09:45 AM
Heidi, that is awesome news. I had to stop HRT after 6 months because my wife gave an ultimatium. However, I am more depressed than ever and I feel that I will be back on them very soon. We have been married for 20 years and Jeri has been a part of our life just about the whole time. She is who I have been inside for over 40 years and I have come to accept it.

I would love to fully transition and someday that might be possible. I just hope that I can hold it together until I can get back on HRT. I miss the wonderful and calming effects it had on me. Much like you I had a much calmer demeanor about myself as well as a lot less anxiety in my life.

Keep up the good work and keep us informed of other changes.

BTW, you look beautiful in you profile picture.

Jeri.

Eryn
03-30-2016, 10:42 AM
I'm approaching the same milestone. Our results are remarkably similar even though my regimen is not limited by a desire to retain male characteristics. Modest breast growth, softening of skin, etc. were what I experienced as well. I also feel the same mental benefits.

I am a bit surprised at the expectation of retaining male characteristics with HRT. That really seems like playing with fire to me!

LeaP
03-30-2016, 11:11 AM
No one is a victim unless they wish to be. "Having" to stop HRT (being forced or coerced) is not the same as prioritizing other things. Whatever the priorities - even negative things like fear - we need to own them, else risk never getting past them.

The point is relevant to the OP. Heidi's wife "doesn't care" for her. Yet reading Heidi's comments, I don't have any impression that Heidi is expressing anything other than conscious choice in the face of competing needs. Her situation may not hold, but it seems minimally agreeable enough to both of them for now.

I'm not suggesting that anyone ignore consequences. Far from it – one should be completely aware of potential consequences. I'm also not suggesting plowing ahead in the face of consequences. Finally, I'm not making any value judgments about anyone's particular priorities – even the negative things they might prioritize in life. People have limits, they break, and I am in no position to judge others' needs or pain.

Heidi Stevens
03-31-2016, 12:17 PM
Thanks for your input ladies. I'm not trying to upset anyone's cart by following my current HRT regimen. I know it's not the standard format, but as Lea has noted, it's working for me. My wife and our relationship outweighs any thing in my life right now. I am trying to meet her requests while taking care of my needs. Could I maybe go too far for her, making her uncomfortable? Yup, this train could jump the track, but if I think thru my actions, I'll have a great chance to maintain her world and mine.
I just had a visit with my Doctor and my Therapist last Tuesday. My HRT levels are spot on for the amounts I'm taking. In fact the Spironolactone has my T levels in the teens! My Doctor also finally "met" Heidi in person, not just in a photograph!
She was impressed with my female presentation and how happy I was. We agreed that I might want to up my estrogen doseage amounts to see if I can bring my levels up. Possible derailment? We'll see.

My therapist had not seen me in almost 6 months. I told her I was very happy now and that my confidence was as strong as it has ever been. I told her I go anywhere and do anything I want now as Heidi. We did talk about my wife's strong objection to seeing or dealing with Heidi and how I was handling the relationship in this area. We talked about how I can keep things the way they are now and maybe, just maybe, get my wife a bit more understanding toward my needs. The best thing she said though was that I radiated confidence as Heidi and unless I have problems with my wife, I did not need to come back! Wow! I'm projecting a personality as Heidi besides a physical image. What a great high that is!

So, now I know where I stand and what needs to be done to maintain the biggest and most important relationship in my life. And as long as it's working, I'm sticking with my unique way! My hope is the rest of you can find such happiness and peace!

Sarah M
04-09-2016, 07:45 AM
In two months and 5 days will be three years being on HRT I'm on the Estradiol Valerate injections every 2 weeks :) I love what the HRT has done to me The softer skin no more tummy an chest hair leg hair is softer thinner an lighter an easier to shave body odor is that I smell like a girl after I have been sweating that changed in my early stages of HRT. Body fat has changed more Breast size 38 B :) The changes to my Brain are wonderful all female thoughts an emotions I love it...

JohnH
04-10-2016, 01:33 AM
I have written the following to show how we are unique individuals with different circumstances.

I have been on M2F HRT for over 4 years and now wear 40 DD bras. I must take after my paternal grandmother as she had enormous breasts. I also have softer skin and no longer have the rank male odor.

I also am a lot calmer than I used to be so much that if I get peturbed my wife says to me, "Maybe you need your shot". She told me she prefers me to be on HRT.

I wear lipstick and eye makeup for church and business and have hair well past my shoulder. Any new tops I buy now are women's tops instead of men's shirts due to my chest.

However In society I'm regarded as a man and I go with the name of John, my birth name. I also have a basso profundo voice. I have no desire to transition socially to being a woman. The HRT has really done wonders in calming me as mentioned before. Interestingly enough I function a lot better socially with the HRT.

To my wife I am a man with the name of John, and what I described before above with my physical appearance is fine with her.

So, Heidi, I wish the best for you as you get to feeling a lot better about yourself. I know I feel a lot better about myself than I did five years ago.

Jennifer-GWN
04-10-2016, 02:00 AM
Heidi;

The simple goal is to be happy whichever path you follow. We all know so many of us who don't make the first step live out their lives so often in depression and other emotional issues. The fact that you've found a balance mentally and personally with your wife is awesome even though I'm guessing it's not without its challenges.

Good for you, your a better person for it in the end.

Cheers... Jennifer

karen inside
04-17-2016, 07:02 PM
I have started on AA 3 wks ago and that alone tuned down the male disposition so much and was so welcome! Goodbye aggressiveness. Can hardly wait to start "E" soon. You look great and your smile reflects your happiness!

I Am Paula
04-17-2016, 07:18 PM
The first year was so full of wonder. I was a new person, having all new experiences.
I'm glad it's working for you.