Traumatic incident last night with my 68yo single sister.

[Alice Torn]

My only sister, 68, has never liked males, never dated, was taught by aunts that men were evil, sex is evil, having babies is sinful. She won't even go to a male dentist of doctor. And she would never allow a man to see her at all undressed. Well, I forgot my coat at my family of origin's house two days ago, and went there yesterday, to dig some fishing worms, then, my brother shouted, that my coat was in the hallway. So, after a few minutes, i went in, and it was not there. So, i went into the kitchen where i had it last, and out of the bathroom comes my sister, and suddenly she was horrified, and because she cannot speak clearly, made some sounds, i could tell were alarm, horror. I had on sun glasses, and cannot see too well, anyway, and i did not notice she was partly dressed, at all. i said, that i can't find my coat, several times, then went back outside, and there it was.. My brother had put it on the old swing. I then left a bit pissed, that he did not tell me he put it there, and my sister was traumatized by me accidentally. My family is a fusion family, toxic and very bizarre. My sister is going downhill, drinks cola all day, and sugary things. She cannot speak clearly 95% of the time. She once saw me naked, when i had a broken leg, when i was 14, and i was carried to the bathroom, and she saw my male things. it traumatized her then. And, now, i feel awful, and emotionally upset, too, because i accidentally traumatized her, and I have absolutely no desire to dress now. Maybe much later, but not after this happened. How sick, that relatives teach a little girl, that all boys are bad, sex is dirty and evil, having kids is bad! And her entire life, she believes that! Now, after my father dies, she will likely have a nervous breakdown. I am not going to take care of her. She will have to find a female helper. My dressing is on hold right now.

[Secret Drawer]

Alice, I am not a medical doctor, but it sounds like your sister is diabetic. Perhaps this would explain some of her behavior. She needs to see a doctor, perhaps you could arrange that?

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Your sister is a sad case alright, but you did absolutely nothing wrong Alice. You all had the same parents, and you're all carrying a lot of weight. Keep clear of the family as long as you can to give yourself the best chance of recovering your centre.

Hugs and best wishes,

Nikki

[LilSissyStevie]

I saw my great grandmother undressed one time but I was the one that was traumatized.:eek:

[Alice Torn]

My sister was born pre mature, and then had dystonia, had two brain operations at age 20, lost her some of her speech ability, but has lost almost all of it, the last six years. I don't know about diabetes, but she is very thin. She refuses to get a thorough check up. Stubborn.

- - - Updated - - -

Nikki, Thanks. You are right. I won't be there until Saturday night, when i have to lift my father to and from the toilet, then to bed. Staying away til then. Hoping and praying she gets over it.

[lisa_vin]

Hi Alice!

The thorough check-up with full blood work is of the utmost importance right now to rule out any biological problems that might be contributing to her current condition. Her medical past notwithstanding, please urge her of the necessity to get a clean bill of health. I'm not a doctor but there appears to be something more contributing to her current behavior and speech loss than what happened 48+ years ago.

[Martina]

Alice,
I also think that your sister maybe suffering from being a diabetic!
My Mother was a diabetic and her sister came to stay with us and she was drinking lots of sugary drinks and was losing weight and my mother did a diabetic test for her and found that she was also a diabetic.
It was known as the wasting away disease many years ago, so it maybe helpful to her to get it checked out.

Martina

[Vickie_CDTV]

Alice, until you realize you are an adult and do not have to associate or have anything to do with your toxic family, you will never get better. Like an alcoholic who is drinking themselves to death, until you cut them off and "dry out" you will never get any better mentally. I don't say this to be mean, I say this because it is something you really need to get through your head or you will always unnecessarily suffer.

[Alice Torn]

Lisa, She will not respect a word i say, she ill not listen to ANYONE!!Including any male doctors. I have given her addresses of female doctors, too. She WILL NOT LISTEN. Vickie, I only go there twice a week. i have no friends around here, and they are my family, whether i like it or not. i believe some families are cursed, too. It is no fun having absolutely no friends, unless i go to a bar, and alcohol takes over. I used to live with them, but got this tiny apartment i can barely afford. People are not friendly much where i live.

[OCCarly]

+1 what Vickie said. My father had a stroke in 2009 and lives in a facility. Mom still lives in the family home, despite being in such frail physical health that she should also be in a facility. But she refuses to leave the house. Instead, my bipolar, schizophrenic brother takes care of her. He also manages all her and Dad's money, because she wants it that way. I won't waste bandwith telling you about a lifetime of psychological abuse they visited on me while pretending my brother was normal and doing everything for him.

But I will say that I finally had to cut them off from knowing anything about my personal life, because Mom decided to visit one final bit of abuse on me a few months ago.

I still go visit Dad from time to time, and will call Mom and tell her how Dad is doing, but other than that, no real contact, and that is the way it has to be for me to stay sane.

It is sad, but it is what it is.

[Alice Torn]

OCCarly, My mom died with Alzheimers in 2012, in a nursing home, but uintil 2009, my older twin brothers were taking care of her, and it was driving them mad! Then the feds busted both brothers, so the fed put my mom in a home. Otherwise, my dad would have had us care for her till death,. he is now over 95, was in a home for seven months, but got better, and has been at home for over 2 yrs now, may live to 100!! My dad always said he expected me to take care of him in old age, and my sister and brothers too. I quit my business in tacoma Wa, and came 2000 miles back, thinking they would pass away soon. NOT! Six years, but i got this little apartment, one brother is out of prison helping, but has to take 6 week vacations, every three months, and my very messed up sister is here now, and i wish she had not come, She is far worse than him. I have a friend in Tacoma Wa, whose dad and mom, both are at home with severe Alzheimer's, with no helper. He can't do his business anymore, and is broke!! I suffer depression and bipolar pretty bad, too. If i had the money, i would move much further away. The only thing i like there, is the fishing creek nearby, and the two near cats there. Friends are the true family.

[Jessica EnFemme]

Alice, I'm guessing your 68 year-old sister has either seen it all over the years, or doesn't care about it anymore. Either way I doubt she was traumatized by that event.

If she's disabled, I'd think you could apply to Social Security and maybe get a nurse to take care of her, at least part-time.

[Alice Torn]

Friends, My sister still drives, goes to a health club and works out. She was working 40 years, and retired two years ago. She is not disabled, really/ She just hates males, other than my dad, who is disabled . She never grew up, was ALSO greatly traumatized in high school, when a boy actually showed interest in her! She was glued to my mom's apron strings into her 20's! Never left parents. Was taught skin was sin, and sex is filthy. It is mainly in her head! But, like others i have tried to help, she is totally headstrong. I got counseling when i was confronted!