Kate T
03-31-2016, 08:22 PM
Since going full time I have noticed a couple of social interaction things that I am not sure if they were the case before and I am also not sure if it is just me over interpreting things.
Firstly it is bizarre how much social groups tend to differentiate into gender binaries. By this I mean when you have a large group of people in a room and you naturally get smaller groups forming to chat, it is amazing at how many of these groups are essentially either all male or all female. I've noticed this particularly at work related events e.g. a work / continuing education conference and social events. I hadn't really noticed this before. The second thing related to this is I find the male groups really quite intimidating to approach. It's not that I am physically scared of the men or even intellectually worried that I won't be able to contribute to the discussion, many of these men I've actually known for some time certainly professionally / work wise, there is just something about the body language and feel of the group that it almost oozes testosterone and I do find that a little intimidating.
The other thing that I've found is that if I do approach and start talking to one of those men then the other men in the group almost "drift" away leaving me alone with the gentleman I am talking to. This happened the other night at a work related do. I approached a group of men and said hello and was talking to one guy whom I've known for some time. He is really a lovely guy, knows about my past etc. and also knows I am quite happily married and have no interest in him or in guys in general. We were just talking work type stuff. But basically the other men in the group sort of "dropped" us out of the group literally physically leaving us alone. Weird.
We've (my wife and I and the kids) only been full time for about 6 months so we are still navigating our way around some of the social things and also just working out our responses as well. It is amazing at how uncomfortable people are at suggesting that we may be a couple. We aren't all over each other but we certainly interact enough and also quite happily talk about our kids and living together that it must be obvious that we are a couple. Prior to transition most people would actually say something like "so you two are married?" or "how long have you been together?" etc. Now it is like people are worried about asking anything like that or that it makes them uncomfortable. The dreaded loss of heteronormative privilege. I always thought it was a bit of an overreaction by LGBT people but wow, once you are there you get it.
Still, maybe it is just me being over sensitive :)
Firstly it is bizarre how much social groups tend to differentiate into gender binaries. By this I mean when you have a large group of people in a room and you naturally get smaller groups forming to chat, it is amazing at how many of these groups are essentially either all male or all female. I've noticed this particularly at work related events e.g. a work / continuing education conference and social events. I hadn't really noticed this before. The second thing related to this is I find the male groups really quite intimidating to approach. It's not that I am physically scared of the men or even intellectually worried that I won't be able to contribute to the discussion, many of these men I've actually known for some time certainly professionally / work wise, there is just something about the body language and feel of the group that it almost oozes testosterone and I do find that a little intimidating.
The other thing that I've found is that if I do approach and start talking to one of those men then the other men in the group almost "drift" away leaving me alone with the gentleman I am talking to. This happened the other night at a work related do. I approached a group of men and said hello and was talking to one guy whom I've known for some time. He is really a lovely guy, knows about my past etc. and also knows I am quite happily married and have no interest in him or in guys in general. We were just talking work type stuff. But basically the other men in the group sort of "dropped" us out of the group literally physically leaving us alone. Weird.
We've (my wife and I and the kids) only been full time for about 6 months so we are still navigating our way around some of the social things and also just working out our responses as well. It is amazing at how uncomfortable people are at suggesting that we may be a couple. We aren't all over each other but we certainly interact enough and also quite happily talk about our kids and living together that it must be obvious that we are a couple. Prior to transition most people would actually say something like "so you two are married?" or "how long have you been together?" etc. Now it is like people are worried about asking anything like that or that it makes them uncomfortable. The dreaded loss of heteronormative privilege. I always thought it was a bit of an overreaction by LGBT people but wow, once you are there you get it.
Still, maybe it is just me being over sensitive :)