Gender Merging?

[Robin414]

Growing up in the 80's the term "transvestite" was often used to describe "us", now it's become "cross dresser" (IMHO a lot more...comfortable term), do you see a day (maybe it's even now, depending on your location I guess) when "being yourself" or something like it, describes EVERYONE?

[Tracii G]

Never cared for the transvestite word it just sounds dirty for some reason.
CDer is OK and I can live with that.
It would be nice if there wasn't a social stigma about being this way but I do hope it gets better for all of us.

[reb.femme]

Being an eternal pessimist, I can't see it happening in my life time, but if I'm wrong, it'll be a pleasant surprise. :heehee:

Yeah I prefer CD to Tranny, but to be honest, I use it about myself at times. It certainly has been and still is used as a pejorative term, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for worldwide acceptance. But, you never know.

Becky

[Teresa]

Robin,
Linking Cders to being gay is another one that's gradually being lost so have some of the old names which I find very offensive .

You could be right that it may eventually happen, when it becomes more accepted that we're just wired differently . Other behavioural differences are being understood and accepted so I'm sure it will happen for us.

[itsnormy]

I am so adverse to titles...seems everything, ever person has to be pigeon holed. Why can't we just be loving "humans?" If we do have to why can't it just be "caring," and/or "assholes ?"

[Lexi Moralas]

I generally don't get hung up on the labels my self. To me when I'm dressed I'm just Lexi. And I get more comfortable with that as time goes by. Don't get me wrong still like a clear line between the male and fem persona's. Tranny , Cd , sissy , trap ( although I don't think I will ever look good enough to be called that myself ) as long a the spirt in which they are used is not degrading folk can use what ever term they want. Except FAG , that I find offecive on any level.
As far a world wide exceptance , I think we have come a long way in the last decade or so. Even if it was excepted to were what every you want I think I personally would keep my dressing a private matter
Cool thread ! Thanks for starting the topic

[Lorileah]

To paraphrase Martin Luther King

I have a dream that (people) will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the (clothes they wear) but by the content of their character.

Do I see that happening? Truthfully, no. As long as we have to believe that we are "lesser" than everyone else and the majority feel safer to stay at home and out of sight. No. Another thing MLK said was "Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that." We need to come together and walk into the light. But until we are considered "real" and "normal" we will always be labeled. Given a choice I think cross dresser is a less evil, less pejorative word (s). But you don't need to label me as anything. "Lori" will do just fine. Adding ANY adjective shows prejudice. We are "men", "women", "sons" and "daughters". We are human.

[Pat]

I grew up in an era when Latin was equated with learning and Latin words were respectable, so to me, transvestite is 'way more respectable than the vulgar "crossdresser." But I use whatever word works for my target audience. I'm OK with trans or tranny if that's what they know. These days I prefer "transgender." The words don't matter as much as the conversation.

Will we ever be considered with respect? With respect, I'd say no. I mean, it's OK to be a Civil War reenactor, or a Trekkie or a nerd, but those groups are not especially respected -- people just understand that such folks exist, they are harmless, and let them be. I'd settle for that. ;)

[Katie01]

Never liked Transvestite or tranny either. Crossdresser is ok and I use that term but somehow it never rang true. I read on this forum a description that fit much better... Being someone else for a while. Not really a term so I guess CD will have to do.

[heatherdress]

No, I do not see that happening. If a man wearing a dress robs a bank, or gets assaulted, he will continued to be described as a crossdresser or transvestite, not a man "being himself".

Personally, I hate labels and titles. I crossdress. It is something I do, but I do not feel it defines who I am. I feel other labels and titles better define us which are related to our ethnicity, our martial status, our families, our professions, our faith, our beliefs - but not our clothing.

"Crossdress" is a verb describing what someone does - to some degree, at some frequency, for different reasons. "Crossdresser" (or tranny) is a noun describing what someone is - regardless of degree, or frequency or reason. It has negative connotations and is frequently and erroneously associated with sexual orientation.

There is a fascination with transgender people. There is fear. And there is ignorance. Comfort with crossdressers and crossdressing is guarded. Acceptance is limited. I do not see these dynamics changing anytime soon. In spite of TV shows and bathroom laws, crossdressers (or trannies) will still be considered crossdressers (or trannies) for quite some time, and not people "being themselves".

[Julia1984]

Hmm... Humans use language to impress meaning on the world they perceive. Can we have meanings without language - I suspect not. So the terms that become part of our discourse come to be associated with our "ontology", that is our theories of "what things there are". So, the use of terms like "trans [whatever]" or "cross [whatever]" come into common parlance and, because of that, and because we all play pretty much the same "language games", people in general come to believe that those labels genuinely reflect the ontology. That's just wrong, as any first year philosophy student should be able to demonstrate. Use of "trans" and "cross" implies that there is a norm, or a line that is being crossed. I suspect most of us would disagree. I said somewhere else (cant remember which thread it was) that the Greeks had a better word - "eaftos" or roughly "self". So we are "eaftos-dressers". Not quite so snappy, but it reflects our reality.

[DebsUK]

I think there will be a day that what we refer to as crossdressing will be normalised if (and it is a big "if") concepts like "gender-fluidity" and "non-binary" get some traction and really penetrate the mainstream. I just hope that the idea is not just some fashion movement to disappear when people are bored with it.

[pamela7]

when i was little my hearing was bad and i know many children wanted to grow up to be a train driver - did i hear "tranny driver"? or was it listening to transistor radios - tranny music? or was it all those "get dressed ..." calls to my room?
if "being yourself" ever becomes mainstream we'll have heaven on earth and an end to wars, pollution, no laws, and a lot more - this might take some time ...

[suchacutie]

It's changing now as a new generation goes through the growing up process with some of their peers openly preferring to not present as their birth gender. We just need that group to be the majority, so maybe another 60 years and the sea change will have occurred!

[bridget thronton]

I will admit to being trans gendered - i would prefer people just describe me as nicely dressed

[Lauri K]

I think we are all wanting the same thing, respect and basic rights of being treated equally as everyone else in society

I am trangender and can live with the term proudly, but alternatively though I can agree with Bridget and if you want to just call me a nicely dressed person I would be just as happy.

But that is dreaming, so I think we had all better get used to using the Trans label and get out there and support it, because that is what will be written into laws and ordinances protecting us.

Not to hurt anyone's feelings, but I have seen so many alternative labels proposed on this site and a few others that is has gotten silly. We just need to rebrand the T label to be more inclusive is my first thought, and stick with it.

Robin my apologies if I got off track here on your thread.

[Dana does shopping]

Visibility is the key. The more visible a minority becomes the more the shroud of intolerance lifts from it. That being said ... flee the hateful jurisdictions making this life style AGAINST THE LAW. Witness the freedom Eddie Izzard enjoys ...
259561

[Mayo]

I hope so.

[Robin414]

I saw an Axe commercial and although not directly related the point about being yourself I thought was pretty decent, Oh yah and the part about 'who needs the this, and that when you can rock those heels 😉 ' I'm pretty sure that was a guy in a pair of hot looking spike heel ankle boots!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzTSE6kcLwY

[Mykaa]

Robin always managing to make a smile, good watch,:roflmao:

[PattyT]

I really don't think we'll ever be able to just be ourselves. There are simply too few of use to have enough clout to change the way society looks at us.
As I mentioned in another post, I don't even care for the term "cross dressing" as when I'm out dressed I consider my just wearing the clothes I like. I don't need a term for this. GGs can dress anyway they like, and so many of them dress in clothes that could easily be worn by a man, yet they are not considered as "cross dressing", although in effect, in the truest sense of the word, they are. In short, they can dress in male attire, without any terminology. We dress in female attire and are transvestites, crossdressers, or even sissies. The world is not fair at all, ist it?

[Molly J]

I agree PattyT. I don't want terminology or any word or label that differentiates how we dress. Instead of having to justify or hide or wear a disguise, why can't it just be?

[Dana44]

I just got back from the diva vacation. The one hundred fifty ladies called themselves women and they expressed that they were happy to be one for the week. There were a couple of them who were going through transition. but in general, we women did all kinds of things as they had a large group of activities. But one told me that he only got to do it one or two times a year and really enjoyed herself . But I met some who where full time and was quite happy. Also ran with a couple of the wealthy ones. The are also gender fluid and really enjoy it. But in general they viewed themselves as TG. So that description is the term that is out there now.

[sometimes_miss]

I think it's just going to take more time. We're still living in a world where both men and women consider feminine behavior as well as the appearance as a step down in status for any male. I find it odd that women themselves continue to perpetuate that stereotype, as it's essentially self denigrating for them whenever they do so, but they appear oblivious to this. But it is what it is. We cannot force them to change their minds. Until they understand that they are essentially just doing what they accuse all men of (considering women's lives, lifestyles, and values as less worthy of respect than men's), nothing will change.

[MissDanielle]

I don't use CD to describe myself. I'm trans and pretty feminine at that although I keep some things hidden from the world while presenting as male.

[Robin414]

Wow SM (Lexi) great observation! Brings the thought of Buck Angel to mind!

[Tracii G]

How can you expect to be accepted if you if you don't speak out?
Not saying you have to come out just speak out in support of trans people.
Let your voice be heard to the people around you that have no idea what trans really means.
Educate.

[Robin414]

Plus 10 for Tracii! Absolutely! I read a thread some time ago suggesting some kind of 'points' that you could get for going out (hence, increasing our footprint) but it didn't get any traction, any Bohemian Grove members here?

[Georgette_USA]

I am trangender and can live with the term proudly,
so I think we had all better get used to using the Trans label and get out there and support it, because that is what will be written into laws and ordinances protecting us.
We just need to rebrand the T label to be more inclusive is my first thought, and stick with it.


As someone who has been doing this for 40 years, as a Post MtF in stealth mode. Wasn't so sure why and how to identify as Trans. I never deny the TG tag, but that is not how I identify.

I can and do support the new laws and ordinances. I come from an era with NO laws or support for gender diversity. Too many of some areas coming up with these stupid bathroom laws. Most are probably not enforceable. In US it will take a some test cases to go to the US Supreme Court to resolve this. As was done for same sex marriage.
Talking with a Trans*Male friend. He was escorting his young daughter to a ladies room and some women was trying to stop him.

I have been waiting for 40 years, and there is much acceptance already, but still a LONG way to go.

I think the Trans label is about inclusive as one can hope for. Not sure what else you would include in this. Some of the non-binary want a third option for sex/gender markings. I have a problem with pronouns for non-binary, but am trying to learn.

- - - Updated - - -


We're still living in a world where both men and women consider feminine behavior as well as the appearance as a step down in status for any male.

I remember that argument when I came out as TS at work 40 years ago. Why give up the male privilege and become a 2nd class person. I had to become better then the men around me, what I call an Alpha Female. In 40 years I think a lot of that has changed for the better.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Robin,
I think it'll happen someday. Will I see it? Doubt it!
But the muggles are slowly (gotta talk slowly to some of 'em) getting the idea of diversity.
As far as terminology....mehh, call me what you will. I guess to me it's more of a English
language problem at the moment (Pronouns and all that crap!)
Some may say I have gender issues....I'd say it's not me that has issues, but them.
I know who I am, and what I do.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[cdterri]

Flat out NO! This country and the world constantly go from liberal to over the top morality. About the time you think all is ok it will again change for the worse

[Angie G]

Call me what you like. But I'd love to see the day we are accepted as normal.:hugs:
Angie

[Beverley Sims]

I would not care to be normal, just as someone different.

There are a lot of minority groups out there that suffer little persecution.

[Tina_gm]

Thanks Bev, as I was reading the replies and thinking of my own, I was trying to come up with the right word, which you just did. The "persecution" of those who are in the TG spectrum will slowly continue to become less. Although, as such a small minority of people, we will likely always stick out to some degree. We will likely always be one of them. When so few people are seen, it will always be a quite noticeable event for many. And, because we are such a small minority, the persecution we suffer from will likely always be there although hopefully to a lesser degree than it is, which is a lesser degree than it has been.

[Kate Simmons]

I decided a long time ago I was going to be myself despite what others think of me or what they say. I figured I didn't really have time for everyone else to change, so I did. :battingeyelashes::)