I was caugh dressing by my wife

[SarahZ]

I was caught by my wife while dressing in her clothes. She was not happy. She wanted me to take them
Off. I told her I couldn't because I loved to wear them.

[Sarah Louise]

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the forum. You'll find plenty of support here. We would all love to know your back story such as when you started dressing etc.

However, in the meantime, I think you need to sit down with your wife and have a long chat. Be completely honest with her and hopefully, she'll come to accept this side of you at some level. She's probably worried that your gay or want to have a sex change. Assuming you're not and you don't, you need to keep reassuring her as she's probably had quite a shock.

If she does accept this side of you, go slow and don't over-whelm her. Also, keep lines of communication open.

Oh, and buy your own clothes....

Good luck!

[CONSUELO]

First welcome to the crossdressers site. This is a good place to find answers to all your questions and it could also be a good place for your wife to learn more. There is a lot of cumulative wisdom here for you to tap into.

Always good to buy your own clothes though. I think that should be part of the conversation and you should tell her that while you love to dress en femme, you will get your own wardrobe. She probably doesn't want to see her clothes stretched or messed up.

[Kate Simmons]

All things considered, best to get your own clothes my friend. :)

[SarahZ]

I have been a CD for many years ,but the last 2 years I have been dressing more often. I wear a bra,panties and a slip all the time. I just can't stop dressing .
I started buying my own clothes (bras,panties,slip ,garter belts , panty hose , dresses).
I have to say "When I get dressed I feel like a WOMAN and wish I was "

[arbon]

So what happened when you told her no?

[SarahZ]

So what happened when you told her no?

She said I could wear her clothes but I needed to get my own. She also wants to talk about ,me wanting
To be a women when I'm dressed.

I'm not sure why I feel that way because I'm straight.

[Rachael Leigh]

Welcome to the group Sarah, that's a tough way for the wife to find out but it really is better now that it's in the open.
Like many have said here communication is key because our wives are usually not ready for this even after they know.
Don't push her but she needs to know this most likely is a part of you and will never go away.
Leigh

[Julia1984]

Sarah
There's a heap of stuff to read on here and elsewhere about the difference between sexuality and gender expression. You could do a lot worse than exploring some of that together. Just a thought.
Julia

[Jenniferathome]

SarahZ, that is a REALLY, REALLY poor answer to your wife.

You need to recognize her needs and have a conversation about cross dressing. What it means to you, to her, get it all out, ONE TIME.

[Liz57]

Sarah, welcome. First off, love the name, one of my all time favorites. I strongly suggest that you follow the advice these great ladies are giving you BUT FIRST, read the sticky about coming out to SO, read what Marci (a GG) says and others too. Do your research so when you talk to her you'll know what she's concerned about and have your answers ready and be prepared for whatever she asks or demands.

Definitely buy your own clothes.

Liz:battingeyelashes:

[DebsUK]

If you have your own clothes, why were you wearing your wife's? I mean, you're lucky they fit, but it's not very polite.
I have to agree with the other replies though. Check out the sticky on coming out to your SO, read the various other topics on here on the subject and remember she's probably in shock so it's worth bearing that in mind when you discuss your dressing.
Good luck x

[PaulaQ]

She also wants to talk about ,me wanting To be a women when I'm dressed.

Have you considered the possibility that you might actually be a woman? That these desires you have come from a place deep inside your mind that tells you that you ARE a woman? Any number of us here have come here and discovered we were actually women all along.

Your wife will likely want assurances about the future now - are you going to stay a man? I'd advise you to work that out for yourself, as honestly as you can. But probably you'll just tell her how much you love being a man, and that you'd never change that. Maybe that'll even turn out to be true. Good luck.

[Teresa]

Sarah,
The first time my wife caught me she ran out of the house crying and went straight to her sister and her husband and told them, the next time she caught me I dashed upstairs and got changed while she sat in the car. I don't think she would have been happy if I refused to take them off.
I did have my own underwear but no outerwear which is why I wore hers. There is something very intimate to me about wearing her clothes which I tried to explain to her when we finally sat down and talked.
That was about twenty years ago now she knows I have my own things but also offers me things, she has never seen me dressed since, I don't have a problem either way with that now because she knows I'm going out dressed to a social meeting once a month.

[Lori Kurtz]

If there's any chance that your marriage is going to survive this jolt--and I think there might be, since she seems to want to communicate about it, and I hope you will want to be responsive to her attitude on that--it will be very important for you to understand and respect her feelings. Her clothes are part of her personal space, and you need to think long and hard about ever wearing her clothes again, and never do it unless she actively invites you to do so. Best of luck in this new phase of your relationship.

[Tracii G]

Welcome and get ready for a rocky road.
Just because you like wearing her clothes get your own. Those are her clothes and she is attached to them.
Also just because you like to wear womens clothes has nothing to do with if you are straight or not. 94% of guys that CD are straight if you weren't aware.
Gender and sexual preference are two different things.
You do need to communicate with your wife how you feel but I think you need to find out how you feel first because it sounds like you don't at this point.

[Beverley Sims]

Sarah,
Talk it over with your wife and if she asks something be truthful.
Yes, buy your own clothes, you then have your own identity as well as not alienating your wife.

[Devone]

Rule number one! Buy your own clothes! Women tend to get upset when men wear their clothes. :eek:

I totally agree with you MelanieAnne, If you buy your own clothes to can keep them in a hidden area and out of site to your wife.Devone

[Roxy]

Hi Sarah, I told my wife early in our relationship that I liked to wear lingerie and other than her panties, we don't wear the same size (She some times takes mine because she likes them) so I don't wear her clothes. But she has asked me similar questions as yours as to why and has questioned my sexuality several times. Like the others have said, "open communication"
I'm new to this site and have been learning more about myself from the other ladies here.
Good luck
Hugs

[Alice Torn]

I have wondering s about the truthfulness of this thread. telling her you caould not take them off because you loved to wear them, after she told you to remove them, sounds fishy. If true, you must not respect her much. And keeping them on, must have caused some trouble and a scene. This thread has something weird about it seems bogus.

[Tracii G]

Alice it does seem a bit odd to say no.
No matter the wife's size may be close but women and men are made differently so there is a good chance the clothes won't fit the same after he wore it.
It all does seem a bit fishy.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Yes, Clothes are a very personal thing, and that was defiantly one of the requests my wife had...."Don't wear My things!"

I hope all work out for you Sarah.

[vinette]

Sarah, embrace the fact that your wife accepts the fact that you dress. For may years mine knew of my desire but was firmly set against it. As the years past, I do not know what changed in her, but she has come to accept this in me. I now wear panties full time. I wear nighties to bed. I am wearing a bra more and more often and some times at night I will slip on a dress. To be totally honest... right now my clothing is probably more feminine than hers are. I am waiting for her to ask to borrow something. :)

[Krisi]

The thread sounds a bit "fishy" to me as well. Perhaps it is real and just not well written.

Telling one's wife that you will not remove her clothes just doesn't sound real. They are her clothes and you don't have a right to wear them without her permission. The "wanting to be a woman" part is also questionable. How long has this been going on and why did you marry a woman if you want to be one yourself? I'm sure your wife thought she was marrying a man, not another woman.

There are a lot of unanswered questions here.

[Teresa]

Krisi,
The point about questioning if you want to be a woman has been dealt with so many times, there are so many reasons why we don't bring it up and be honest about when we first marry. I would guess most of us function well enough as men to satisfy a partner for them not to question our masculinity , I still function well enough but my wife has no interest in that either .

[Jazzy Jaz]

Krisi, why do lesbians marry women if they're women themselves?

[donnalee]

If you were wearing my clothes, I'd tell you the same.

[wanda66]

We all began with Mom's things,to realy own it you have to get your own things!

[Krisi]

Krisi, why do lesbians marry women if they're women themselves?
Because they are lesbians.

Your question has nothing to do with the situation being discussed.

[CarlaWestin]

The thread sounds a bit "fishy" to me as well. Perhaps it is real and just not well written. There are a lot of unanswered questions here.

Hmm, yeah. Sarah, how old are you and how long have you been married, if you please?

[Jazzy Jaz]

Krisi, you asked sarah why she would marry a woman if she wanted to be one herself, which suggests that gender dictates sexual orientation. I was simply pointing out that gender has nothing to do with why sarah would want to marry her wife, sexuallity does, and wanting to be a woman sometimes does not make her a complete mtf ts woman (unless of course she is and doesn't realize it yet) which means she is still at least part man which would make your question not relevant to begin with.

[Krisi]

Huh? .........