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Maria 60
04-09-2016, 07:21 AM
To my wife my dressing isn't about me wearing women's clothes to her it's about the bond, it's about she's the only one who holds my secret, when we are out and she looks over at me with a little grin knowing what iam wearing under. It's about the sharing of articles and shopping together and the little risk we take.
Well for some reason the other night I opened my eyes to something, I realized that I've changed and didn't even realize it.
The other night we went out for dinner, and after walked around the mall and I found a skirt on the clearence rack.
As we were walking in the parking lot my wife asked me if I wanted to wear my new skirt for the ride home, well I don't know about you but I will do anything for her when it comes to dressing. We get to the car and with my door half open I take off my pants quickly and already wearing pantyhose I put the skirt on and jump in the car with my wife looking around making sure nobody seen me. We haven't did something like this in a while and I could see it on my wife's face that she loves the thrill of it, like an adventure or the fear of someone seeing me, taking a risk.
We drive off and I look down at my feet and I don't see heels, instead I see the reinforced toe of my pantyhose, I look up my legs and see the skirt and then my male t shirt and male leather jacket and a glance in the mirror of a male face . I now don't feel like Maria or feminine, I feel like a man driving with a skirt on and feel a discomfort and almost disgust, I reach back and get my jacket and cover myself. My wife very surprised with my actions asked me what was going on that I also love the thrill of taking chances and expressing myself.
If you read my last time out I had a little bit of a discomfort moment and my wife asked if it was about that, I didn't think so, I just wanted to get home fast as possibly.
Before joining this community a few years ago, I never thought about a wig or make-up and jewelry, but now I have all of that, and now when I dress I can't dress without a wig. Before a skirt and slip and a pair of pantyhose and I was in heaven. I realized that I have changed, besides wearing pantyhose under my jeans almost everyday, I can't do the half and half anymore, I can't put on a skirt and pantyhose anymore, if im going to take risks it's going to have to be fully dressed now.
When I dress now I want to look and feel and act like a women, I've come a long way and didn't even know it. After explaining to my wife what I believe happened she reminded me about so many time that we would pull over on the side of country roads and I would get changed out in the open and driving with only pantyhose or a slip on was so satisfieing for me and the thrill of being seen. I told her that I have changed, it's not about the thrill anymore, its about being more of a complete women and reminded her that the past year I have drove fully dressed on more then one occasion. It's hard to go back to chicken when you are use to eating steak. I don't believe it myself, what was so amazing for me a few years ago now doesn't mean anything. I've come further then I even realized myself, I have to look like a women now, fully dressed without a wig iam a man wearing a dress. I feel as if the thrill was great when I was younger but now I have matured and evolved to a new level. Anyone else look back and see how far we have really come.

heatherdress
04-09-2016, 07:46 AM
Maria - There is an intimacy related to sharing your crossdressing with your wife. I am glad that your crossdressing seems to have enhanced your relationship. Good for both of you. As far as your progression, I think it is typical. Once you cross certain thresholds in many activities which are of interest and give you pleasure, you are not satisfied with prior levels of activity. You might have enjoyed wearing a skirt or a pair of heels at some point but when you put it all together and see yourself fully dressed, it is normal to be dissatisfied with only being partially dressed. I experienced that progression. I was initially satisfied wearing a pair of heels, then heels and nylons, then heels nylons and lingere. I had a full make-up transformation session at a shop in Las Vegas and was totally shocked. I knew this was how I wanted to look whenever I dressed. I can relate to your feelings and understand your progression. I hope your wife does, too.

Krisi
04-09-2016, 07:52 AM
That's a great story and it's great that your wife accepts your dressing. You are very lucky.

Mykaa
04-09-2016, 07:58 AM
I have changed a lot this last month or so, I can smile again, the thing is that smile is real today, it comes from the inside since I accepted myself. I have said it many times here. Interacting here has been a Boon for me. Im making new friends, plus, plus, plus. So positive!
Maria give your wife a hug for us, let her know how special she is. Your lucky to have her in your life.

CarlaWestin
04-09-2016, 09:22 AM
Maria, you hit it right here!

".......and I could see it on my wife's face that she loves the thrill of it, like an adventure......"

The absolute desireable opposite of DADT.

bridget thronton
04-09-2016, 09:23 AM
Nice thoughtful post

Tracii G
04-09-2016, 11:59 AM
Maria I think we all evolve over time and its a natural thing.
The change is so slow we don't notice it.
In the beginning I was all or nothing as far as presentation wig ,make up ,dresses only ,heels etc.
Over time I have found I can enjoy my female side in clothing other than looking like June Cleaver.
Great post Maria.

Dana44
04-09-2016, 12:20 PM
Maria, great story and your wife is wonderful. We all have changed over the years. I don't like being half dressed, I go all out fully dressed and enjoy it. I'm not sure if my SO is absolutely thrilled and finds it an adventure. But she is supportive and I appreciate her and love her. It is thrilling isn't it? And it is an adventure.

Candey
04-09-2016, 09:52 PM
A year or so ago it was so exciting wearing the panties my GF had bought me! Now I dress fully around the house and we're both excited by it. Our stories are so similar! Even the look and grin when we're out and she knows what I'm wearing underneath. I'm hoping the thrill continues.

PattyT
04-13-2016, 12:43 AM
Most of the people on this forum seem to change over time, as they become more open to being a CD and coming to terms with it. I started out by wearing a few items of female attire at home, then went out in an androgynous style but finally found that only being out totally en femme was what I really needed to do.
I think I changed as a person too during this time, as I finally came to realize who I was and that I needed to express and experience this female aspect of my personality. Like Maria 60 I too have come a long way and reached the level that only with the CD experience has my life become complete. I wish I had reached trhis level decades ago.

Glendy
04-13-2016, 02:14 AM
Hello Maria, I also feel the same way as you I don't feel complete now when I dress unless I dress all the way from head to toe. When I do that, not only do I think I look like a female but I feel like a female and that is a wonderful feeling for me and I just Love that feeling.

PaulaQ
04-13-2016, 02:56 AM
I'm still the same person I've always been? :heehee: Just kidding!

It's great that your wife enjoys this with you - I think that is really wonderful, and it sounds like a great deal of fun.

Question for all of you - Do you think your development as a CD is something you've learned - that is who you are and how you act is something you've developed over time, or do you feel it was innate in you, and you've more like excavated it from beneath other layers of your personality?