skirts the issue

[Allisa]

What a day, it's snowing here in S.Jersey, I'm out but not really dressed for the weather, more spring weight clothes than for the cold and wet. Any way as I'm trying on skirts in a major department store I have an attendant all to myself, due to the weather I guess, and a conversation starts about how no one wears skirts anymore seems all want jeans. Some how the subject turns to my make-up and lipstick color. I prefer to keep it more subdued but with a need to cover the blue, it turns out to be more on the heavier side of natural, then I sense an apprehension from her about my gender so I take the lead and tell her how I see so many "others" with to much make-up trying to hide the "blue". Now I get a compliment about my "look" and how so many try too hard to be women which only makes them stand out. Now I'm kind of in limbo, evidently she has seen others at times in the store and I must be an exception to her perception of us(CDers).Now I'm feeling that I must be good at expressing my femme self to gain this level of acceptance and confidence in a public setting by a total stranger. Then as I was at the register the woman there commented on how lovely I was dressed for a spring day but not for this ugly weather, to which I responded that if I'd had known at the time I left the house I surely would not have worn my new open toe espridrils, while balancing on one foot(3" heels) and showing the other. After arriving home I remembered that I needed some tailoring to 3 skirts, a lining shortened, an elastic band replaced and a kick pleat mended, so off to the cleaners/tailors and upon arriving a nice wide smile greets me from a woman at a sewing machine and without a second thought I explain my needs and she notes the work to be done and hands me my ticket with a "here you go hun" and then a male voice from the clothes hanging on the racks says "have a good day maam and stay warm". As I sit and type I kind of hope I represented us(CD,TG,etc...) in a good light and furthered our cause for total acceptance. One scary moment when totally engrossed in my looking for just the right skirt I turned a corner and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror on a column, I wasn't expecting anyone to be there, I of course then had to do a mandatory check of my look and total overall presentation. I am still amazed how comfortable I am when out and about and smiling the whole time, even when driving and singing along with the radio. I guess my advice to those wanting to go out, when you do, just be yourself, smile, and relax.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa :hugs:, It's like the old saying goes, ( Sometimes less is more )...:daydreaming:...

[Robin414]

Great post as usual Lisa, and I know you represented us in a good light...you always do GF!!

Hugs,

Robin

[Kellitgdet]

Quite confidence is always beautiful

[Tracii G]

Being your self is the best way to be.

[heatherdress]

Lisa - I am glad you had such positive experiences out and about. I am glad you were able to stay warm in our snowy April weather. I also appreciate your positive engagement with the people you met. Good for you and thank you.

I ran some errands today and noticed what I typically observe - all the women I saw, all of them, were dressed ultra casual, jeans, athletic or comfort shoes, minimal or no make-up. No one gets dressed up going to WalMart, Home Depot, the supermarket or the local mall. In fact, most of the time their appearance is casual-sloppy or casual-ugly to my crossdresser mindset. I would never enjoy being dressed like that when I crossdress. But then again, I would not feel comfortable looking at vegetables in Wegmans or tools in Home Depot and in a pair of 4 inch heels and a short skirt. I have learned that I want to wear what makes me feel good but also what I can wear comfortably in the environment I am in. I had a great learning experience during the first crossdressing event I attended. I was ultra-conservative, in clothing and make-up, at events the first two days. One of the event GG mentors spoke to me when I reluctantly refused to pose for pictures and I told her I did not want to be recognized. She quickly applied eyeliner, blush and darker lipstick and assured me that I would be recognized as a crossdresser, regardless of the amount of makeup I was wearing, but if I wore sufficient makeup, I would never be recognized in a picture. She suggested that I had looked more masculine with minimal make-up, which I agreed when looking at before and after pictures. She recommended that I dress for me and have fun, and not worry about passing or what other people think. I have followed her advice, enjoy dressing as I want to dress, enjoy make-up for both fun and camouflage, and go to places that are appropriate for the attire I enjoy wearing.

[bridget thronton]

Great post

[pamela7]

Lovely post Lisa,
You're so right, and for me it's taken time - about a year going out and about dressed on a regular basis - to become so comfortable that i'm not self-conscious, that i'm not even thinking about how others are thinking about me, just going about my business, looking through clothes racks without a care in the world except for "damn this size is too small".

[Teresa]

Lisa,
Recent threads have asked , " Act or Reality ?" I have to admit I'm with your on this one, go out and be yourself, it's not an act, no voice change just dealing with the femme side's needs .

I have to be careful in my seamstress friend's shop , on occasions I've had to totally dress without makeup or wig for her the check the alterations, standing in the middle of her shop in that situation isn't easy, she appears to know many of the same people I know. I've now bumped into quiet a few, the last time it was a retired doctor who lives in my village, I've known him for sometime and I sat next to him underdressed clutching a bag with a dress , heels and forms while he finished his conversation . All that ran through my mind was what to say if he asked what I was doing there, I did think of just saying that I'm going to a party next month and I need a dress altering, to see if he thought I was having a joke with him !

[reb.femme]

Hi Allisa,

I think you merely (if that's the right word) show that if you act like you belong, then you do. We can all bump into an a***hole where ever we are and I know you have fairly recently, but you simply set others at ease with your casual demeanour. Certainly paves the way for others to follow. Great stuff.

Becky

[Maria 60]

Thanks for the great advice. Going to have to try it one day, in the mean time keep smiling.