Holy cold shoulder, Batman

[Lee Andrews]

Well the wife went out for her girls night yesterday. That means girls night for me. We are not DADT but I don't walk around the house dressed either. Somewhere in the middle.
Anyway, she knows this is what I do when she's gone for the night and it's no big deal. Until this morning when we go out for our Sunday breakfast and I get in crap as we sit there because I didn't manage to get all the mascara off. " You didn't get everything off, great!" Her quote.
After that, all her hatred for Lee and my hobby culminated into the silent treatment as we sat there. The life of a crossdresser is never easy. Lol
Got home and looked and all there was, was a couple little clumps on one eyelash. I had to really look for it. Guess she has an eye for it, knowing I dressed up the night before. See how long this lasts.

[bridget thronton]

Keep talking and keep assuring her you love her - perhaps things will get better

[Karen RHT]

Perhaps her night didn't go well for some reason and she was just grumpy?? Perhaps your dressing has become a big deal to her??

I know my wife has her "ups and downs" with my cd'ing, just as I once did. As Bridget suggests, communication is key.


Karen

[Jackiefl]

they made a movie about that grumpy old women lol

[Pat]

There's more than one reason not getting your mascara off could be an issue. I once had to solve The Mystery of the Bruised Pillow Case where my pillow looked like it had gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson. Turns out I either went to bed with mascara on or else I didn't get it all off, I don't know which. But I can tell you that it's harder to get mascara off bed linens than eyelashes. Maybe she's holding a grudge from something like that?

[Sarah Doepner]

Sounds like it may time for a little discussion and see if there are boundary issues that you have forgotten or maybe never knew about. It might have been a good idea to get up and go to the restroom to attend to the mascara when she mentioned it. Since it bothered her enough to mention it to you it's possible that by leaving it there until you got home said to her you didn't care about something she found important. Reassurance and thanking her for being aware of your makeup removal problem may go a long way toward maintaining or improving the relationship.

[Tonya Rose]

Sarah Nailed it Sister!!:2c:

[Maria 60]

It's a two way street but unfortunately the women decides which way we should drive on, even if they tell us to drive on the wrong side. I give you an example that just happened this morning, the kids didn't come home last night so I had the chance to fully dress, being so tierd of yard work, I fell asleep dressed, we got a call from her mother at 6am that her father was having problem breathing so I had to undress fast and go. Thank God everything was OK but when we got home she told me because of my dressing she had to wait for me, and in a situation like that ever minute counts. When we got there she noticed I didn't remove my make-up very well and my lips still had lip stick on them and luckily her parents are older and under the situation they didn't notice. I stood there and took it all knowing that she was very concerned and nervous about her father and that she woke up early and was tierd. She was never one to make a big deal about me sleeping dressed but under this situation and the nervous state she was in if something would have happened to her father Maria was going to have blood all over her hands. Sometimes we are easy targets and what's good today for a women isn't good tomorrow. All they have to say is be more careful in the future, but instead they see the dressing as a weekness and pounce on it any opportunity they get. Sorry I think I did more venting then you, I guess I know where your coming from.

[Lee Andrews]

It's nothing more than her wishing I didn't crossdress.

[Lorileah]

And thus as suggested, it sounds like it is time to revisit this part of your life.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lee :hugs:, No one ever said that being a lady was going to be easy, Just fun.

Hi Maria :hugs:, When seconds count they should call 911 first. :daydreaming:

[Teresa]

Lee,
I guess it's something most of us have to watch out for, eye makeup is always the one that can cause you problems , putting it on right and annoyingly having to take it all off again.
It has become a little easier for me because my wife isn't 100% happy but now she knows I go out fully dressed to social meetings she is slightly more forgiving, if I don't get it all off. I tend to notice more the remnants of eye liner leaving a dark rim but sometimes do pick up on the few clumps of mascara.

[Lee Andrews]

It's been 20+ years, told her from month three this was part of me. She at one time enjoyed it, not so much now. I know she is worried I'll out myself and it comes from a caring place. It can be a bitch at times but I'd rather that then the alternative.
Just one of those crossdressing moments I guess.

[BettyMorgan]

I have a similar situation. I rarely manage to get all the mascara off and it is noted every time by my SO (usually the following morning lol). She has her reasons and I respect them. I have to use liquid makeup remover and rub the hell out of my eyes to get it all off.

And I am sure your wife is coming from a place of caring, as you say. She perhaps worries that you would be outed and she would be embarrassed in her own way? Not very pleasant for her, I imagine, especially if someone she knows walks up to say hello while you two are eating your Eggs Benedict and they notice mascara on her husbands eyelashes. She's stuck with you for twenty years, so I'd say that's a positive. : )

[ChristinaK]

Hi Lee,

At least your wife is somewhat accepting. From my perspective, sometimes it's better to not kick the dog and just accept what happened. Sounds like she knows you very well and she just wanted to express her feelings about something she begrudgingly accepts. It's like having a wife that never dresses up. You wish she would, but love her anyway. You may express your desire sometimes, but know nothing will change.

You are who you are and she married you anyway.

[audreyinalbany]

My wife also seems to have a super sensitive make up detector...no matter how well I think I've gotten the make up off, she almost always manages to see traces of it. She's not overly supportive..doesn't want to see me dressed or anything, but she's gotten to the point where she pretty much just points it out to me & end of story.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

These stories make me glad I am single!!!!
:love:

[Krisi]

Well, now you know where she stands on the issue. You don't need mascara to dress. All I wear is beard cover and lipstick. They both wipe off easily.

If your wife gets upset with your crossdressing and you're not willing to stop, you have to make some adjustments so she isn't reminded of it. Perhaps some day she will loosen up about it.

[Lee Andrews]

I know where she stands on crossdressing most of the time. She runs hot/cold so it's hard to tell on any given day. She use to be an active participant when we where younger but as we have gotten older not so much. It's a bummer but such as life, things change.
Sorry if I came off as having it rough. Not my intention, I have it good compared to some of our sisters here. I was just trying to point out one of those funny things only we in this group could relate to. Getting in trouble for not cutting the lawn my friends could relate, not so much not removing all of your make up.

[Jenny22]

Buy a 10 power magnifying mirror. Use it to check your eyes carefully. You'll see every little clump of mascara and eye shadow that might remain. To be sure all makeup is gone, scan your entire face with the mirror. It really works!

[elliemoss]

That's quite sad. Hopefully she will get over it quite quick :)

[Eryn]

One thing that might be helpful is to talk about how dressing makes you feel. She may perceive it as just a kink or fetish when you know that the meaning runs much deeper. Also, tell her about how her abrupt statements about your missed mascara makes you feel. There is a chance that you might touch an empathetic part of her that has been silent to this point and inspire constructive dialogue.