Interesting Proposal

[Alyssa]

So as you all know my girlfriend is super accepting of my choice to crossdress even to the point of taking me shopping and having me try stuff out for her to judge. I think she enjoys dressing me up more than I do. However recently she suggested something that I find interesting, and by interesting I mean I don't know what to think of it.

She knows a guy and said it would be cool for me to go on a date with him while dressed, she would tag along with a girlfriend and call it a "Double date". Now I'm not intimidated by the prospect of another man, considering that when I'm not Alyssa I'm a martial artist. But I can't help but feel like something is turning in the girlfriend's head and it is somewhat worrisome.

Don't get me wrong. Dressing all day and playing the part of a girl all day with a guy sounds like fun, but idk why she would suggest it so out of the blue o.o

[Stephanie47]

I'd be worried too. And, what is next after the date? And, what will the man expect of his date? You and a guy, she and a girl? Interesting to say the least.

[Allisa]

Hmmmm, sounds like your girlfriend has another motive or a fantasy she wants to play out. She knows a guy for you to "date"? Now I'm worried for you.

[crystaltvco]

Has the topic of intimacy with others been brought up before? I am jaded and smell an ulterior motive.

Ask her flat out where this idea came from.

And, this is none of my business, are even attracted to guys when you are Alyssa?

Food for thought.

[Alyssa]

I would assume she's trying to fulfill another fantasy. Worry isn't so much the word for what I'm feeling it's more a matter of knowing the why behind it. I asked her and she just dances around the subject and, tells me that it's just for fun. Ive stressed to her that I will go along with certain things as Alyssa, but not as Alyssa I am still a man who knows what he wants and is interested in. As far as being attracted to guys, I've mulled it over before but I consistently come to the conclusion that the only person I'm attracted to is her. It's just a weird situation and ultimately the thing that concerns me is developing a fear of her leaving me if I don't do as she pleases on things like this.

[Tracii G]

You are a man put your foot down and say no.
I'm jaded too so I smell a rat.
If she dances around the issue its obvious she has ulterior motives.
Your first mistake IMO is you ASSUME and we all know women don't do things without a plan.

Is your GF your same age and how long have you been a couple?
The reason I ask is women in their 20's are very devious and deceptive.

[Alyssa]

I am coming up on 24 and she is 22, we've been dating since last May, so that's almost a year now. I'm probably going to let her know that she can't have her way with me just because I like being feminine.

[Mayo]

Obviously everyone is hinting that she may be interested in a MMF threesome. I'd suggest asking her straight out. Say that you have thought about her request and don't have any objection to roleplaying but you have no interest in taking it further (and be very clear about where the roleplaying will stop for you). I'd also encourage you to have this conversation in a non-confrontational manner in order to keep the lines of communication open - just because you may not be interested in this activity specifically may not preclude you from being interested in other, ah... 'non-traditional activities' ;) and you don't want to shut her down about kinks in general (unless you do...).

[Maria 60]

Hm! Never came across something like this before on this site. I will say a few Halloweens back we dressed up and went friends house hopping, the last house we went was my friends brothers house. When I was leaving he came up to me and told me how great I looked as a women and he lifted my skirt and felt my leg from ankle to waist exposing my panties and telling me I have beautiful legs. My wife caught this and asked me if I enjoyed it, I was honest and told her it was the first time I felt like a women, but she made a comment that what I made him do I was more of a sl$t. She admitted it later that she got aroused seeing that guy feeling me up. I don't know I thought I was the weird one but I think women have a weird imagination. In my situation it wasn't planned but I would believe that if my wife would have asked me to let my freinds brother feel my legs I don't think I would be OK with it. Just talk to her and try to find what her true feelings are, who knows mite be fun. Lol let us know how it goes.

[ReineD]

Don't get me wrong. Dressing all day and playing the part of a girl all day with a guy sounds like fun, but idk why she would suggest it so out of the blue o.o

Because she knows that you'd like to do this? My guess is that she wants to make you happy.

It's just a date, right? Four friends going out in public together, with you getting the chance to feel what it's like to be a girl out on a date with a guy?


I'm probably going to let her know that she can't have her way with me just because I like being feminine.

I have a feeling this is more about what she thinks you want.

[Alyssa]

I would gladly accept that if she were more straightforward about it. I mean dancing around the subject when I ask and voice concern is no way to reassure me that there's nothing else on her mind. If she truly means for me to be happy and give me an experience she thinks I would like, then 10 times out of 10 I would do this for her. But when she dances around the subject and brings something like this up so suddenly, I feel skeptical to say the least.

[docrobbysherry]

You're both very young, Alyssa. Neither of u can be expected to know what u want yet. I suggest u go along with her ideas. It sounds like u want to. This may be the only way to find out what she's up to.

She may think you're bi or she may want to try that out herself. I predict you'll be sorry if don't experiment safely while u have the chance. Life is about finding out what u do and don't like. What r u afraid of? U can always say no when she/they want u to leave your comfort zone.

Who knows? U mite have a lot of fun. And, if nothing else it will be a great story to tell to your future girl friends! (Or boyfriends?):heehee:

[Jess S.]

Be careful may be fun but think it thru and talk about it a bunch with her first.

[ReineD]

I mean dancing around the subject when I ask and voice concern is no way to reassure me that there's nothing else on her mind.

What do you mean? Can you give me specific examples?

[heatherdress]

Seems more than just trying to make you happy. She wants to double date with you with her girlfriend. No one here knows anything about your girlfriend to know her motives, which could be to please you, test you, please her, experiment or something else. We also do not know your date or her girlfriend. Or where she wants you to go. But it seems like you should have an appropriate explanation (not "dancing around") from her before you agree to the date. It could be a real mistake unless you both understand each other before doing this.

Also, since you just started crossdressing a few months ago and since you have not told anyone else except your girlfriend, do you really want to go out dressed with people you may not know well who could take pictures and tell others. Is that OK at this stage for you? You have to assume they will tell others. You girlfriend might be well-intentioned but might not realize the risks of exposing your new hobby before you are ready.

[NicoleScott]

The guy pays for the date, right? Yeah, go.

[sarab]

Sorry, Im in the be cautious camp. Something just seems wrong, especially if she's evading giving you a reason why she wants to do this.

[Robin414]

I'll say it's interesting!

I've read every reply and with each one I go from thinking "Ya, somethings fishy 😞 ", to, "Hey, that's a great idea 😀 " and back again 😐

[ReineD]

Well yeah, everything looks fishy until there are specifics. Until Alyssa comes back and describes what exactly the girlfriend danced around, anyone can make wild stabs about what is going on. My guess is based on what I know about GGs (because I am a GG and I've spoken to many other GGs here over the years). Other people will make guesses based on wishful thinking or worst fears. :p

[larry]

Did I just click on a different site ? Hehe

[Robin414]

You DO know I was siding with your take on this one Reine! 😉

[ReineD]

Yes Robin, (I did use a smilie in my post) :)

[chelyann]

drag your feet for a little while and see what she says, then go and have fun

[emma-louise]

go for it, look at it this way its a free night out and a meal, just be careful of your gf,s motives

[Krisi]

I suspect the intention of this "date" may be sexual. That she wants to watch you being "done" by this guy. Are you ready for that? I could be wrong of course, but my wife has never suggested anything like what you're talking about.

[Mayo]

I find it interesting that many posters are using words like 'fishy', 'rat', and 'sneaky' to describe the girlfriend's motives. It could be that she simply likes the idea of a MMF scenario or finds something else about the situation arousing and is either unable to articulate it or is embarassed to do so. It's not like most North Americans have open and honest conversations about sex without hang-ups. I wouldn't attribute 'negative' motivations to her without knowing more. Now, if she wants to get him drunk and have her friend take advantage of him or pimp him out as a CD prostitute, okay, that would be shady, but I want to give people the benefit of the doubt - when I'm not being a cynical misanthrope. :D

[ClosetED]

Very unusual proposal. I see it as
1) She thinks you want to experience more of life as a woman, even if you are scared to ask for it. Possibly based on your comments/actions. This is her way to give you that experience in a safe way, with her there to protect you.
2) She is testing you - wants to see if you will like being with a man more than with her. You can say 'I only want you', but until she has you experience this, she will not feel assured.
3) She wants to embarrass you

How much do you know about the guy? Is he bi? Homosexual? While you are capable of defending yourself, is it fair to play with his emotions if he might be led to expect more?
If only a social lunch, rather than date, it might be better.
some thoughts ...
Hugs, Ellen

[Krisi]

She thinks you want to experience more of life as a woman, even if you are scared to ask for it. Possibly based on your comments/actions. This is her way to give you that experience in a safe way, with her there to protect you.

There are ways for her to do that without involving other people. Use your imagination.

[NicoleScott]

All the speculation about the girlfriend's intentions. Why not cut through it all and ask her "why do you want me to do this?"

[Amy Lynn3]

Alyssa, I am in the corner of ReineD on this. I think you need to really consider the request of your GF. Go and have fun and if it ever gets to a point it is not fun. Just say stop. If you go out you will find out for sure what the GF wants and I think it will be a great outing for you.:2c:

[Pat]

Obviously everyone is hinting that she may be interested in a MMF threesome.

I don't find that obvious at all. I think you're projecting.

Alyssa: In the end it comes down to you. Perhaps I'm the one projecting now, but it reads to me like you don't have a problem with the proposed date, you have a problem with the feeling you're being manipulated and that if she manipulates you successfully she wins and you lose (somehow.)

If it was me, I'd go (but I've always been a risk-taker.) If I didn't go I'd spend the rest of my life wondering what might have happened. If I go, I find out and it's over in a few hours.

[Alyssa]

Hmm. Well there is a lot to address now lol. Sorry I haven't replied I just got to taking my lunch. When I say she dances around it I mean the following; we are both business to business sales people. She keeps using a tactic called acknowledge and ignore whenever I voice a concern. She will say something like "I understand Hun, don't worry if will be fun... So what do you want for dinner tonight?" I confronted her about it yesterday and she did this exact thing. Now maybe she's just trying to build up my impulses, but it would be nice to know what exactly she wants from it. Cause let's say I go and I am not aware of her wants for this "date" then I can't make sure it goes well for both of us, and if it is something that I'm not ready for that she's trying to experiment with then I news to know before it does some kind of damage to my psyche.

[Jenniferathome]

There's a really easy way to solve this mystery: ask her directly and do NOT allow her to skirt the issues. "Honey, exactly why do you want me to go on a 'date' with a man?" Exactly what will you get out of it and exactly what do you expect me to do on this 'date'?"

An inability to answer implies something nefarious.

[raeleen]

As a few other folks have mentioned, I think a sit-down conversation about what the expectations would be for the date would be useful. Even some role-laying scenarios, if that works for you guys. If she dances around the subject still, I think laying it out that you will be more comfortable and able to enjoy something like this (if in fact that's what you want) if you know what expectations are going in so no one has their feelings hurt later would be good. Ask her point blank, 'what happens if he starts to kiss me. are you ok with that?' 'what happens if x happens?' keep diggin with the hypotheticals and hopefully that'll help to unearth what she's thinking.

It sounds kind of fascinating, and I hope you keep us posted on whether you ultimately decide to go. Good luck, girl!

[Tina_gm]

3 things come to mind. What ReineD said makes a whole lot of sense. 2nd, she may be doing this to see how far you will go with the whole dressing thing. 3rd.... I once talked to a woman who was just flat out into anything and everything. And didn't care that anyone knew. She had a bi-sexual husband and proudly admitted to me and to anyone willing to listen to her that she loved watching him have sex with other men, and then join in of course too.... Some people are just like that. Maybe she is just one of these people.

[rachael.davis]

OK so your girlfriend enjoys you crossdressing, and from your first post encourages it. She's suggesting a "threesome" date - you, her, and a straight (?) guy
best (?) case scenario - she wants to go out with a crew, and is interested in seeing how you do in a social situation with a man
middle case scenario - she is looking expand your relationship gradually, and wants to see how you deal with it
worst (?) case scenario - she is interested in a threesome with you, and a straight guy - how quickly is anyone's guess
I've done sales there is a point in negotiations where you pass, or you play

[Pat]

She's suggesting a "threesome" date - you, her, and a straight (?) guy

That's not the setup explained in the OP. It would be Alyssa and The Guy, Alyssa's girlfriend and a female-to-be-named-later. The scenario was labeled "double date."

[heatherdress]

You only started to crossdress a few months ago. No one else knows except your girlfriend. Do you want to her friends to know? There is no way to maintain privacy if others know. There will be pictures of you in a dress on a date with a guy. Are you ready to explain that to others?

[ReineD]

Alyssa, thanks I read your post #32. I agree with Jennifer. Next time she changes the subject, tell her that you want her to stop doing this and tell you what her motives are. Ask her if she really wants you to date men, or anyone else other than her for that matter. It's a valid question.

And while you're in the conversation, ask her if she understands the difference between enjoying the role-act of being a woman on a date with a guy, and fundamentally being attracted to the guy whether you are dressed or not. Who knows. It could be a test ... (is there anything in your past that would make her believe that you are, indeed, attracted to men)?


<Edit> - Just so you know, the majority of women who find out about the CDing wonder about two fundamental things: whether their SO actually wants to be a girl and whether they are attracted to men. A lot of wives/girlfriends believe that the reason to dress is to attract men. And if your reaction to her suggestion is positive, then she might think she has her answer.

[summerbunny]

Its a trap,a catch 22,a condudrum, a setup
Don't be "the gimp",don't be the Mark
DON'T DO IT!
its psychological romance, its SMBD

Its a mind game. It a mind F***k.

Fair warning,run,run away,run fast

You've been warned!
You'll be in a intricate predicament from an intricate plot

[ReineD]

No. lol. Best to just talk and ask the girlfriend to say what is really on her mind.

[summerbunny]

It could be a" Fools proposal".
You can't win with those.

She's trying to "Do you"
Talk ,fight are flight

[Mayo]

Obviously everyone is hinting that she may be interested in a MMF threesome.I don't find that obvious at all. I think you're projecting.
Maybe I am :)


She keeps using a tactic called acknowledge and ignore whenever I voice a concern. She will say something like "I understand Hun, don't worry if will be fun... So what do you want for dinner tonight?" I confronted her about it yesterday and she did this exact thing. [...] it would be nice to know what exactly she wants from it.
Thanks for that clarification. She's definitely dodging the question, and that's not helpful. You have a right to know what it is that she wants/expects and what your role in this event is supposed to be, and you have the right to say no if you aren't interested. In my opinion, you should tell her that you'd like to discuss it and to know exactly what she has in mind; if she refuses, then just reply that you're not interested if you don't know what you're committing to.

[Lorileah]

OMG, really people? You get offered what you want and you immediately suspect the worst? You know sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. No underlying agenda. At worst I would suspect that this little exchange was more a fantasy (for either or both parties). In my experience this type of thing would have led to marvelous night or...romance, between me and my GF and never set foot outside the house.

But it DOES bring up one thing I really press for here...trust. Alyssa you just proved you don't trust your GF by even WONDERING if she had other ideas than what she told you.

[Alyssa]

I can't explicitly say I want this. It's something to think about, but not a priority or an immediate desire. I do trust her, it's just that when you bring something like that up, and then avoid and real answers, then you make the other person question what you truly want. I spoke with her tonight over dinner, and ReineD was right, my girlfriend was just curious to know if I was into guys and if I actually wanted to be a woman. She said she was feeling a little insecure, despite being supportive. I reassured her that while being a woman sounds like a lovely endeavor, I only like dressing for the sake of looking pretty when I'm relaxing. I very much enjoy dressing in designer men's suits for work, and when I go out to a bar just as much as I do wearing pretty dresses and high heels. She said her friend is not straight, he's bisexual, to which I replied that if it actually made her happy for me to 'go on a date' with her guy friend so she could see my girly side in action then I would love to do it for her. I was however clear that I don't feel any kind of inclination to let a man touch me in any way other than an arm around the shoulder or maybe holding hands. She said that my concerns were fair, and that she danced around the subject before as to appear more confident, rather than appearing "weak" in front of her "beautiful gf" over the feeling of being potentially unwanted. I'm going out this weekend, and I'll be sure to share with everyone my experiences

[LeslieSD]

You guys are over thinking it.

Just go with it, but state your boundary up front. If I were you, I would say "Sure, I would go with you and your friends. But I want to make it clear that I have no interest into men. We can go hangout and have some fun time *as friends*", and really emphasize on "as friends".

Have fun and come back to report what happened. You have the envious situation for most of us here. :)

[Genifer Teal]

You can guess all you want, the only way to know learn and grow in who you are and who you want to be with is to go and see what it's like. You are a far better judge of your girlfriend that we are. You've been with her; we can only guess what she's like. Knowledge is a powerful thing you will both learn from this experience. you will by being with the guy, she will be watching you with the guy as well as being with her friend. maybe there's more there too. the only way to find out is to go and see if you have a good time. maybe you'll learn you like it and lose interest in her. maybe she will learn she likes it and lose interest in you. whatever the experience teaches you both the future is uncertain. it's far better to know now than to find out what you missed or might like better or who knows what. like I said too much uncertainty to not want to find out. this could bring your relationship with each other to a different level. sometimes you need to take a little risk to get a reward. stop overthinking it.

[Robinsinclair]

I agree with Genifer and Leslie.

Go with it.

Enjoy. If it's not fun or becomes not fun - stop.

Regardless of how it turns out, you will learn something about yourself and your girlfriend.

[lingerieLiz]

When I was a couple years younger than you are, I had a friend who was gay and we went out on several "dates" so I could dress and he could be seen with a girl. A guy he liked had a cute sister who was open to my dressing. We double dated on several occasions. The guys would sit in front while us girls would sit in the back. It was fun for all.

In your case there will be 3 girls and 1 guy, is your girlfriend going to play as a lesbian?

[Amy Lynn3]

heather, I think you are thinking what I am thinking.

[summerbunny]

I think its just a Mental game with SMBD and are cockolding consequences,
you said she won't talk to you openly!
The evidence is uncanny its a pretext.
Evidence is mounting.
DUH!
Mind game 101.
I stand by my two other posts above.
post #40 & #42
I told u so. U gonna get IN too deep.
I gave u a Fair Warning...

[LelaK]

My GF last year saw me dressed a few times before she became my GF and she said she liked to crossdress too. But when we became a couple she didn't want me to dress fem at all and asked me to get rid of my fem clothes, if I liked her more than the clothes. So I did get rid of them. But she was always jealous, thinking that I was always trying to look at guys. I told her I wasn't the least bit interested in guys, but she never believed me, even though we almost always had great love-making. She finally broke up with me, I think because her jealousy and anger got too stressful for her. I don't know if there's a way to prove to anyone that you don't like guys as lovers. I told her I'd be willing to take a polygraph, but she gave up before giving that a try. There are people, like some magicians etc, who can tell if someone is lying by watching their reactions when the person tells a known lie. I suppose that sort of knowledge might help jealous lovers. My GF's jealousy and distrust was very extreme. I read about similar jealousy in an article online and I read parts of it to her, but it didn't seem to help either.

Maybe your GF doesn't have a jealousy issue, but if she does, maybe the article would help her.

[Tracii G]

As much as you all are trying to justify this scenario I'm going with my gut feeling on this.
My gut instincts have helped me stay alive and out of bad situations many times and if I were in this situation I would listen to myself and say no.
Say what you want ladies but something isn't adding up here.

[PaulaQ]

"OMG! Noooo!!! Don't make me have sex with a MAN, and my girlfriend, while I'm dressed like a woman!!! Nnnoooo!!!!"

"Well, OK, please just a little, but I still wanna pretend I don't want that!"

We should all be so lucky... Oh wait, I am that lucky, my sex life is already kinda like that. Never mind!

I'm anxiously awaiting the follow on thread "Forced to be heterosexual no more!"

My sincerest apologies if I've misunderstood the OP, and this is an actual crisis...

[Leighcdmd]

I'm with you Paula. Are we seriously spinning brain cycles over this "non problem"??

[heatherdress]

This "Interesting Proposal" has provided interesting entertainment and debate. Replys range from a set-up to this is a crossdresser's dream. None of us know anyone involved and the member who shared this dilemma has made only a dozen comments on our site and just discovered he was a crossdresser barely 4 months ago. Since he did ask for our opinions I wonder if someone who didn't even know they liked women's clothes in December and who is shy and in the closet - should our brand new crossdresser be urged out on a public date with other people so quickly? He apparently has not come out to anyone else except his girlfriend who seems to be maybe overly supportive. How about caution and discretion? Has he ever been even out in public yet? What if his friends or co-workers or family find out about his date? How can you be sure pictures and stories will stay private? I would suggest that if this proposal is in fact real, it should be thought about with respect to personal privacy and a young reputation he will have to live . And what will his young girlfriend think of him after she sees him dressed as a woman holding hands with a guy. She may be curiously supportive now but mental images last indefinitely. I think our young friend should delay this date until he is more aware of the possible consequences he will have to live with. I am not over thinking this. I am just trying to be realistic.

[Krisi]

Heather, please don't confuse the issue with a logical and sensible post. You're going to upset a lot of people.

Hopefully, the OP can read through the BS presented in some of the posts and understand that people on this forum are not going to suffer the consequences of following their advice but he will.

[Sissy_Michelle]

Alyssa,

After reading all the posts, and wonderful advice from everyone. Patiently waiting for the details of your date... Many if not all of the advice given should be heeded. Run ! Go ! Speak with your girlfriend and set ground rules, see what her intentions really are... And so on...

My advice is... Have fun. If the prospect didn't bother you, you wouldn't have asked everyone. Your girlfriend seems like a nice person, someone that you trust. If so have fun with it. Set some boundaries, when you make initial contact with everyone in the group and have fun. Then come back and tell us everything... :daydreaming:

@--}-----
Michelle

[Lorileah]

Ya'll do understand that 1) you are getting ONE side of the story and 2) since you don't find it believable (or suspect subversive plans by a spouse who accepts the dressing)...I'd go with my gut reaction on that. Yeah, probably not. If true, it is in the top TEN fantasies of crossdressers, there are books about this....I used to BUY them and hide them in my closet. And yet...you question when it (may) happen(s)?

Gee I'd love to win a million dollars...Ok here's your lottery ticket...aw no thanks it probably comes with strings

[Alyssa]

Id like to thank everyone for all the support, it's nice to have a community of people I can count on to give me advice when I'm not sure of what to do. For everyone who is concerned with me only having told my gf that I dress, the place where this date is taking place will be way out of the way so I don't run into friends or family. I've set a number of ground rules, first off I'm not sleeping with anyone but her! As long as we are together then I don't care what the allure of appeal of mmf or other 3 way fantasies are I greatly dislike sharing my gf, my own body, or my attention. She was in 100% accordance with me and assured me that she just thinks it would be a cute look. As for her female friend that's coming with us, they go on girl dates all the time so for her it will just be a slightly bigger girl date and instead of going to get nails or hair done we are going to a movie and a spring carnival. (Not in that order though). Everything seems fine... That said I'm not the kind to throw caution to the wind, and will be super careful of my choices, as well as responses to the actions of everyone involved as to avoid some sort of drama. Like I said to her, I enjoy dressing and feeling pretty and girly, but I don't want to be a woman fully, I still enjoy my Tazio Suits and my more boyish hobbies like robot models and kick boxing. So that said I'll keep everyone posted on the events of Saturday!

[Jenny22]

I'd be very cautious, Alyssa. Your GF knows him. You've never met him. He's Bi. Let me suggest that the three of you meet, perhaps at the lady friend's home and get to know him better. If you guys are not connecting in a MM way, don't do the date. If it seems OK, then set your ground rules there, not before the date. Be sure that both ladies understand them and agree. Just my thoughts. You need to feel safe and comfortable on the date so you can have fun.

[Mink]

sometimes... a cigar... is NOT a cigar!

(oh GOD?)

[heatherdress]

Alyssa - I am sorry for being pragmatic but:



... the place where this date is taking place will be way out of the way so I don't run into friends or family... !

Looks like it is important for you to maintain secrecy about dressing. So why would you risk a date with two other people you don't know? And just because you are going someplace "out of the way", what assures you that this adventure will not get back to your family and friends, even if you are not recognized by someone during your date?


...she [your girlfriend] just thinks it would be a cute look...!

This is the reason you are going on a date with a guy - because your girlfriend thinks "it would look cute"? Quite a risk if something goes wrong. And you believe you are not throwing caution to the wind? And again, your 21 year old girlfriend will forever have this new image of you in a dress dating a guy. Will this risk your relationship - just to look cute?

And, if you really are shy, and if you have just started dressing and want to keep your new crossdressing hobby secret, don't you think that you will be drawing attention to yourself - a male crossdresser, your phony date holding your hand, your girlfriend watching you, and her date? That is an attention-getting foursome. That is a "look at me adventure". You may be living the crossdresser's dream but this is a great risk if discretion is important to you.

[ClosetED]

With Alyssa's update, I think it is 3 girl friends out together meeting up with a guy to join the girls. She then wants to see what happens. He is Bi, so if he knows you are really male, he is not disgusted or angry, as a hetero male might be. If he does not realize it, then all the better.
So I think she is testing you in a safe environment and you have verbally reassured her you are hetero and only want her physically, despite wanting the admiration of a male. Now you need to prove it to her this way. And possibly prove it to yourself.
Only an internist, not a psychiatrist.
Hugs, Ellen

[summerbunny]

get you some spike high heel 5 inch are 4 inch ankle strap sandals,steel boned corset,medium to long kiss nail extensions, a pedicure , hip pads, butt pads,breasts forms ,a hobble skirt are hobble dress and some thru hole big earrings. get a makeover at sephoras,MAC are Ulta and a nice wig.shave your whole body.

that will make the date fun and interesting cause you'll be vulnerable.

[Mayo]

that will make the date fun and interesting cause you'll be vulnerable.
Ummm.... what?? :eek:

[summerbunny]

Helps to get you in gurl mode.
The restriction of a corset , hobble skirt are dress ,high heels and more...

[Mayo]

That's pretty much what I thought you meant. I don't want to take anyone to task for a personal fantasy or clothing preference (nothing at all wrong with that), but I do think the idea that being a woman (whether GG, CD or T) means one must deliberately dress to make oneself physically vulnerable might be verging on misogyny. Just my two cents.

[emma-louise]

I remember my ex wife tried to set me up on a date with a guy, i got dressed and made up, my ex drove me to the meeting point but sadly he didnt turn up, part of me was glad he was a no show

[summerbunny]

I am on the edge of my seat,waiting!
Is it gonna be something spectacular?

Seems like we've been waiting a longtime to hear the results.

[Alyssa]

So as you all know last weekend I caved to my girlfriend's request to go out on a date with a guy while she had a date of sorts with her girlfriend. We went far out of the way so no one would recognize me, and to be sure that I felt comfortable.

I wore an outfit with with a huge distraction on it so that no one would be suspicious or second guess themselves as to me being a CD or not. I had on a light green sundress with a red flower pattern on it since it was a nice day out and since I'm a lot shorter than most men, and more slender around the arms it felt perfect. Now considering that I used to kickbox i have some marks on my legs so my girlfriend (who went to beauty school) took the liberty of using make up to cover up any scarring from fight injuries as well as the two tattoos I have on my left arm (sword and bow and arrow honoring my Britannian ancestry) needless to say covering the latter took a lot of effort and care as getting it wet in any manner would reveal the ink. For shoes I wore a pair of light red rope wedge sandals which were super comfortable. I did take someone's suggestions and wore some forms on my hips and some small breast padding. I had my nails painted pink, and my hair was professionally done (I keep long hair since as a guy cutting it makes me look funny) o that my hair was perfectly straight and my forehead was covered by geisha bangs. And to make for something of a distraction from my body I wore a big beach side sunhat with a flower and a bright red ribbon. Make up on my face was limited go come contouring and a light colored eye shadow with some mascara. The dress was someone open on my chest so there was some contouring there as well.

The date itself was pretty standard. He paid for my movie (junglebook was really good) and my dinner at a local Irish pub. I drank fine wines laughed at a few jokes, and made some small talk about work and the like. He tried putting his arm around me a few times and at first I would try to ward him off, but as the date progressed it got a little more comfortable to let myself be under his arm. We also went to a hobby shop in town that I had been dying to try out which I admit was boyish, but he told me he would love to take me and bought me some of those models I like to build adding that I looked adorable when I nerd out over those models. Someone there didn't recognize me as a guy and called me miss, which was probably the highlight of my date. At the end he took me home and I told him I had a great time, to which he asked if we could do this again soon. I was honest with him and thanked him for the incredible fun I had, and while I can kinda maybe see myself saying a guy now that I've had the experience, my eyes only see one person and my heart is hers, so I politely told him no. He thanked me for my honesty told me I looked great that night and that he had a good time as well.

When I got back in the house my gf who had already gotten in before me asked me how I felt, and I told her that I felt good, I was told I'm pretty on several occasions someone actually believed I was a girl, and I got some of those models I love. I then told her what I told him, and she basically pounced on me lol. She told me I'm pretty and that she wouldn't trade the fun we have when I'm dressed, and it was all just a positive experience. For me the outcome was more valuable than the date cause I am reaffirmed in my feelings for the gf and she was pleased with that as well.

[Mayo]

Glad to hear it went well! :)

[emma-louise]

sounds like you had a good time xx

[Tracii G]

Really happy it all went well.

[Kate Simmons]

Maybe she just wanted to see what your full spectrum of feelings is. :)

[Pat]

Awesome! So glad it worked out.

[ClosetED]

Congratulations on a very successful outing - both for you and for GF - both learned bit that that wanted to know.
No pictures?
Hugs, Ellen

[Alyssa]

No pictures was a stipulation of the date. Like a lot of people said, I don't want or need someone to post pictures online and tag my name to it since to the people in my life save for my gf I'm in the closet

[Kurtmath]

Glad you had a great experience!!

[LeslieSD]

See. No traps, just a fun outing. I am surprised that you and your gf got separated. Shouldn't four of you be all staying together throughout the whole night?

[Alyssa]

We did stay together, she just exited the car before me at the end of the night

[LeslieSD]

That's cool. What did she say about you in other man's arms? :)

[ReineD]

she would tag along with a girlfriend and call it a "Double date".

It sounds as if you were out alone with the guy on the date? Why didn't your gf and her friend tag along.

[mechamoose]

She wants to see you with a boy. I can understand that. How FAR she wants to see that is another question.

I don't believe that this is your issue as much as it is hers, and you are trying to figure it out.

You wouldn't bring up MA unless you were feeling defensive (10 years of Kung-Fu here)

Is she bi? If so that might speak to some of this.

PM me if you want, or put it all out here. I think you have a situation worth chasing.

- MM

[sometimes_miss]

So, you used him to take you out on a date, paying your way, just to see what it was like. What a very, very girly thing to do. Felt good, using someone? I've had several women use me like that. Didn't feel good. Those are the women that men refer to as b***hes. Congrats, you're a real one now. Feeling like a real woman now?

[heatherdress]

Weird story. Weird date. Seems like a cross dressing fantasy. Your GF wants to see you on a date with a guy but is not with you. But she is on a date with her GF and you are not with her. Your date who is bi knows you are on a pretend date and he is only a prop but he wants to go out again with you? Who would want to do that again? For show or to please you GF ? He is bi and you are not? I don't get the interest. You are only cross dressing for how many weeks and you just had an adventure with a guy and all is sweet with your relationship? No discussions? No feelings to address? Nothing changes? And of course no pictures because only you and you GF know you crossdress - except maybe your date, and her date, and anyone they told. Seems like you would have a lot to discuss and think about.

[Alyssa]

We did stay together, she just exited the car before me at the end of the night

The gf and I were in the same place at every step. I just didn't feel the need to describe what she was doing as the attention was more on the side of me being out as a girl with a guy. Now someone below commented that I used a man. This would be true of I knowingly lead him to believe I would date him and sleep with him. I did not do that, everything was agreed on beforehand. I don't want anyone to think that's my image.

As for addressing feelings, as I mentioned I was upfront with my gf when I returned home and told her that while I had fun, this isn't what I want and that I want her and only her. I did not wait to address the issue just tackled it head on.I've been closet dressing for a long time now, only openly dressing for about 3 months. By openly I mean far from home or in places where I'm surrounded by open minded people and I feel Safe

Furthermore If someone spills then I will have to accept it and deal with it... I know I've been scared in the past of being outed, but fate waits for no man or woman, and if it happens then like anything else, worrying won't do me well.

[AnnieMac]

I dunno Y'all, sorry I think this way but, something is BS about this whole thing.

[summerbunny]

You got some explaing to do.

He did not try to kiss you are feel you up are nothing.
You have only been dressing for a few weeks not months are years.

[ReineD]

Well Alyssa, I'm glad it all went well and you had fun. :) And I hope that your gf no longer feels threatened. Some members in this thread seemed to be beside themselves with run-away imagination, but I suppose it can be fun to live through someone else.

... and I don't think you used anyone, nor do I think that women use men when they go out on a date and men pay. Nor do I think that men use women if they date and women pay. It's a question of finances and who can afford what. It's not about having a tacit understanding that "a favor" is owed just because someone buys you dinner. There's a word for that.