CD's only: Is this your highest ambition? Why? Can u explain?!

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u for your replys up to now. But, this post was intended for CLOSET DRESSERS!:brolleyes:

I read many posts by CLOSET DRESSERS, like me, who hope to dress, go out, and blend. Maybe visit a Denny's, Walmart, or a mall, etc? If u can't pass, (I can't), why is this idea so attractive?:straightface:

I find going out in vanillaland stressful and those places boring. I never go to them dressed and don't enjoy them in drab either. I prefer to look attractive and going to T friendly clubs or T events where I can hang with other T's, relax, and have fun!:D

If you're a CLOSET DRESSER who isn't out a lot and NOT TS, why does dressing in very plain outfits and going to some place as blase as a Starbucks seem cool if you're dressed? I really don't get this------:brolleyes:

[Rachelakld]

oh ... oh ... pick me!!! I have an answer.

We want to do what vanilla girls do :)
It's our normal life - but gender opposite

[AmandaM]

I want to be able to do what women do, socialize as one, and be taken 100% as a woman, at least while I'm dressed. And that includes being 100% passable. As this probably isn't going to happen, I'll just have to live with disappointment. Oh well, I'll never be an astronaut either.

[reb.femme]

I suppose I love the adrenalin rush, but I also want to live my girl side in totality at times, which is never going to happen, so dressing and going out fulfills some of that desire.

I don't pass, as I get enough glances, but I love being out. Looking to go shopping on Saturday. I can look and try clothes without issue as Becky.

[Kate Simmons]

I have no desire to "pass" so I can "blend". I'd much rather use my energies going to TG friendly places and have fun and socialize. Hiding in plain sight doesn't really do much for me.:battingeyelashes::)

[Alice Torn]

I cannot explain it much. I am shy about going to clubs and bars, and where people are juiced on alcohol, but have considered trying the only gay bar in this region, but still not up to it.I fantasize about dancing in one of my dresses ata a club, though. Not sure i will ever have the kahonies to go, though. The yearning to occasionally actually go out in public all dolled up. I guess part exhibitionism, daring, taking chances, hearing the heels click, the breeze up my skirt or dress, the perfume fragrance, the thrill of it, being viewed as a very tall attractive woman ... from a distance. Up close, ..nope. And, then i am back in the closet, and back in drab for quite a while.

[lucy_miller]

It's the desired to dress as best as you can, looking and feeling good and then stepping out to just be yourself, I obviously like regular life with a twist.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sherry :hugs: , I think that it's having the best of both worlds...:daydreaming:...

[SaraCro]

I suppose I love the adrenalin rush, but I also want to live my girl side in totality at times, which is never going to happen, so dressing and going out fulfills some of that desire.

I don't pass, as I get enough glances, but I love being out. Looking to go shopping on Saturday. I can look and try clothes without issue as Becky.

thats it,adrenaline rush :)

[CarlaWestin]

'Cause after dressing in the confines of home or car it's just so "out there free as a bird" when you dress in public.

[JocelynJames]

As a shirt my deceased father had " my needs are simple, I want the best" or something to that effect. I would love to dress however I like and not be judged for it . My shelf life all dolled up is maybe 4 hours maximum and the one time I have gone out I was uber stressed. I'm not sure how much I really enjoyed it or even how my wife did. She has spoken of going to plays /musicals with Jocelyn. I'm not sure I even answered your question. I guess my ultimate goal as a CD is to let it progress as naturally as I can

[PattyT]

"If you're not TS, why does dressing in very plain outfits and going to some place as blase as a Starbucks seem cool if you're dressed? I really don't get this----"

Hard to answer. I don't dress in plain outfits but ones which are generally considered to be a bit snazzy and very feminine. I guess I do go to blase places but that's just me.
Somehow the world does seem really cool to me when I'm out en femme. Probably this is because only when en femme am I really at peace with the world. I just feel so relaxed and natural.

Kate made a wise comment,
"I have no desire to "pass" so I can "blend". I'd much rather use my energies going to TG friendly places and have fun and socialize. Hiding in plain sight doesn't really do much for me"

I find that the blase places I go to are friendly toward me and let me have fun. "Passing" and "blending" mean less and less to me as time goes on. The vast majority of the people I encounter treat me well. I don't know what they are thinking and no longer care. As long as I can go out dressed, with virtually no hassle, I'm quite happy with that.

[reb.femme]

...I guess my ultimate goal as a CD is to let it progress as naturally as I can

It's certainly happened that way for me. I feel like caged animal if I haven't been out for a while and getting out is literally like a breath of fresh air to my femme side.

Becky

[rachelatshop]

Hi all, I don't really know if there is one answer to this question. I think that when I dress, I dress to match my idea of what I most like to see on my wife or another woman when she is dressing to be attractive. So I guess my real subquious wish when I go out dressed is to be noticed, but because that scares me I don't want to admit it.

[Amy Fakley]

It's certainly happened that way for me. I feel like caged animal if I haven't been out for a while and getting out is literally like a breath of fresh air to my femme side.

Becky

God yes, this exactly.

Girl mode feels right! Living my life in ways that don't only involve walking between my kitchen and my bedroom with all the blinds shut and the doors locked up like Ft. Knox (such as going to starbucks, or the grocery strore) also feels right.

Moreover, though I have learned to cope to some extent, boy mode feels wrong. Hiding feels wrong too. Day to day in boy mode ... it's like climbing a mountain while holding your breath. Every step gets harder and harder to take until eventually you HAVE to breathe.

I'm not really interested in partying (though occasionally it's nice to socialize). I am interested in just living my life and feeling at peace with how I present myself to the world ... even if that can't be every day, and even if I'm not passing and nobody around me buys it ... it's not ABOUT them, it's about me.

[JenniferR771]

Yes! Exactly, when the intense thrill wears off. The outside beckons. I get a bold feeling to go out into the wide world. But I think mainly--I am seeking acceptance, perhaps validation.
I think I notice that I am not interested in men staring at me, nor interacting much with men; I try to avoid men. But--I enjoy friendly acceptance from women. Out and about without meeting any people, say in an isolated park--that is fine--but I would not stay long--bored in 60 seconds--and my heels sink into the sand at the beach.
Acceptance--I want to think I look nice--not weird.

[Pat]

The question seems to be "why would you want to do mundane things while dressed?" And the answer (for me) is because then I would be doing the things I normally do only as a more truthful version of myself. I would feel that freedom of honesty.

If I only dress for exciting parties or to put myself on display as the trans princess, then I'm still not living honestly -- I'm performing. If I sit in a cafe drinking my coffee, watching the people (who may well be watching me -- let 'em --) thinking my thoughts; making my plans... then I'm being me -- that's what the inner core me would do -- thats the donut underneath the frosting no matter what kind of frosting I'm wearing. ;) (Darn. Now I want a donut. And I need to lose three pounds.)

[Karen RHT]

After reading your post Sherry, I found myself trying to candidly answer the questions you posed. In doing so, I also came up with a few questions myself. For anyone reading my reply, keep in mind I'm currently 68 years young, and have only enjoyed being out in public during daytime hours on one occasion. Not sure I'm classified as a "closet dresser" (wife knows and is somewhat supportive) but I don't consider myself TS.

I enjoyed my one and only trip out into the world while cross dressed immensely. I discovered that my normal levels of apprehension diminished rather quickly, and that even making a major faux pas, wasn't insurmountable. I'm definitely not an overly confident, boisterous or even outgoing personality; but I do posses a strong spirit of adventure. It's that sense of adventure, the need to explore, enjoy, and accomplish; that drives me to step out into the world on a regular basis. Regrettably, there are solid family based reasons why I don't do exactly that, but I'm working on them. :)

You used the "blend" word Sherry, along with the "pass" word. Well I don't "pass" either, and how much I would or would not "blend" is subject for discussion. Women come in all shapes, sizes, and configurations. Some "dress to impress" no matter what their venue, while others "dress comfortably" or even purposely "dress down." Point being I would dress as I deem appropriate to the venue, and to hell with the fashionistas or the status quo. Of course for me, that would involve skirts and dresses, rather than the more common jeans, slacks, leggings, yoga pants. :)

Where would I go?? Wherever my heart and mind or the needs of the day took me. Out for a drive, stop for gas, stop at scenic vistas, lunch at a bistro or the patio of a sports bar. I've never shopped "en femme" so perhaps an afternoon at the mall with a stop at MAC's for a makeover. I haven't visited a museum in years, so perhaps I need a change of pace and would visit one of them. Starbucks you say?? I'm with you Sherry, "blasé." On the other hand, I live in Ontario's wine country, so a cottage winery tour with a glass of something different and refreshing at the end could be a distinct possibility. The big city of Toronto is only an hour plus drive from me. The adventures I could have there are endless.

None of these adventures would be done in "very plain outfits" I assure you. Then again, they wouldn't be done in micro miniskirts, bodycon dresses, or 6" heels either. Presenting as female is something I enjoy doing. As we all know, presenting as female has it's challenges. For the most part, I accept those challenges, try to overcome them, and am rewarded with a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment when I succeed in doing so. Getting outside the confines of my home while dressed as I please, when I please, is simply one of many goals I've set for myself. Why did I set that goal for myself? To expand my horizons, to reach new heights, to experience new thoughts, feelings, and emotions. For the pure fun and enjoyment of doing it. :)

I'm going to stop here as my thoughts are starting to unravel, I'm getting too philosophical, and too damn long winded. Hope my reply makes some form of sense to you Sherry, and to the others who have read this far.


Karen

[Helen_Highwater]

I read many posts about closet dressers, like me, who hope to dress, go out, and blend. Maybe visit a Denny's, Walmart, or a mall, etc? If u can't pass, (I can't), why is this idea so attractive?

It's closing the loop, making the pieces fit. I can't pass inspection at least face on but I hope I do a go enough job of how I dress coupled to mannerisms etc that from a even a relatively close distance I can do that one thing and blend. In doing so I can do what GG's do, go about their everyday lawful business. It's a way of expressing the person I am.


I find going out in vanillaland stressful and those places boring. I never go to them dressed and don't enjoy them in drab either.

OK I get the shopping is boring thing. In drab it's not my fave thing to do. However I'll go back to the closing the loop thing. It completes the picture and by that I mean me being as femme as I can be. Also in part it's about not being afraid of being who I am and not hiding away from the world. Plus read the posts. Folks have the most wonderful interactions with SA's and the like just doing the normal.


I prefer to look attractive and going to T friendly clubs or T events where I can hang with other T's, relax, and have fun!

There is nothing wrong in doing those things. I'm just of the opinion that not doing the rest is running away from gaining societies wider acceptance.

[audreyinalbany]

guess I'll answer that question with a question: Why on earth would anyone want to go clubbing to a noisy, crowded bar where you can't hear anyone speaking and you are constantly being jostled? To me, crossdressing is about being out in the real world,doing real life things, just doing it while presenting as female.

[Sarah Doepner]

I've had the pleasure of spending time with Sherry in a variety of situations, clubs, casinos, museums, once on a hike and I accept and admire her for the Diva she is. Since she is by her own words a "late blooming dresser" I'd suggest her basic and internal motivation is different from those of us who had gender questions back in our pre-pubesent days. I don't know but the early bloomers may find more satisfaction in going shopping or for coffee on our own than late bloomers, but that's a wild guess. I'm happy to do both. But I believe I'm attempting to satisfy a feminine aspect of my personality rather than get that adrenaline rush. In fact, once the adrenaline has been used up and I relax, I often tend to forget what I'm wearing and can find those parts of my world that don't change regardless of my presentation. And that may be my goal Sherry. I'm attempting to discover my core personality and from that see if it is best represented by one gender, the other or some combination of the two.

[carhill2mn]

Answering your question is a bit like explaining why I like chocolate ice cream better than vanilla (unless it is covered in chocolate syrup).

Actually, I have many reasons. Some are: I like the look and feel of skirts, blouses, dresses, heels (although they are now hard for me to wear); I like how I look when wearing makeup, etc.; I like seeing hair (wig) on my head; I like wearing jewelry; I lime wearing pretty nail polish; I enjoy chatting with women (GWs); I like the "womanly" look.

In addition to these things, I love to be treated as a lady when I am out in public. It is such a different experience than being in the same places when presenting as a man. I have never been a "club-type" person. I much prefer interacting with people in more every-day situations.

[Lily Catherine]

It feels right to present as such. Meant to be, perhaps? The ideal on my part would be to just carry on with life while appearing and blending in as a woman. That in itself would imply that the act of crossdressing ceases to be something special and is truly part of you wherever you go, rather than a fairly distorted part of you that you can only let out within the confines of a proverbial closet.

I haven't reached that point yet myself, and am still tapping away at the sides of my bulletproof glass closet. I don't even pass close up either, much less in femme home attire. But being at home and wearing a cami, shorts and lingerie and simply doing what I need to do at home is as far as it gets to feeling completely natural as a girl.

[Jenn A116]

Very interesting question. I know for myself that I just love the way I feel when dressed. Wish I could do that more often, including going out to run normal errands. That means dressing just like all the GG's. Well, actually like the better dressed ones. ;)

I'd be very happy to be out for a nice quiet dinner someplace with good conversation (preferable girl talk) and a glass of wine while in Jenn mode.

[Rachael Leigh]

Sherry I guess for me I just enjoying being out and about as a normal person no matter how I'm dressed I love being en fem doing just everyday normal things like shopping and such it just makes me feel better about this crazy part of myself that I deal with. I'm not one to go out make a big scene but to be accepted no matter how I'm dressed it's just me

[Teresa]

Sherry,
Some of us have different needs, to some a vanilla outing may be boring but to others it's the opportunity to start living a hidden side of their life. My first outing was to a social group, I was concerned about it being a party rather than just a meeting but I gave a lovely ballgown an outing and thoroughly enjoyed it, I still can't believe I even danced. It didn't turn out to be the great adrenaline rush, it just felt right and I was totally comfortable with it.

I guess Sherry you're still looking for that rush of excitement, I'm not looking for that , I just want to be me enjoying and satisfying my needs with my CDing, to sit and have a coffee, maybe chat, watch the world go by and not look out of place is what it's about.

[sometimes_miss]

We need to understand our limits, and learn to accept them. As much as I would like to be able to go out dressed as a girl and experience the world as a girl does, that will never happen, because I'm NOT a girl. No amount of self delusion or surgery will make me into a GG. I will never have the experience of growing up as a female, or living day to day as one. Ain't going to happen. So I take what I can reasonably expect to be close to some genuine female experiences (how clothes feel, female shoes, long hair brushing against my skin, a skirt sliding along my legs, etc.), and try to understand as best I can. I won't debate on whether a lifetime as a female is better or worse than a lifetime as a male that feels like he was supposed to be female has been. But it would most certainly have felt quite different.

[heatherdress]

Good question, Doc. If I wanted to go out dressed as most women dress on errands, movies, restaurants - I would be wearing a top which is too tight, old jeans or sweat pants, flip flops or athletic shoes, no makeup, and a plain wig pulled back exposing a male face, heavy beard and the very obvious fact that I am a guy unsuccessfully trying to look female with no camouflage, who is also easily identifiable to friends or neighbors. I don't have any desire to dress in casual female clothes which match my sloppy casual male clothes. It would not be fun or fulfill any need. I want to transform myself and look and feel beautiful and sexy.

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u all for replys. I'm sorry. I guess I didn't explain my Post very well. I was hoping for folks that don't get out often, or at all, to explain.

Please re read the EDITED OP!:daydreaming: