Do you ever get the feeling your over doing it?

[Judy-Somthing]

About twenty years ago I use to be out to a couple of my friends, until I started feeling uncomfortable about some of their comments.
I told them I grew of of it.

So over the last twenty years I only dressed about once a month to get it out of my system. I would get bitchy if I didn't get PlayTime.

Well four months ago I found this site and Hell broke loose.

I started dressing at least four times a month, shopping like crazy for fem stuff etc.
I didn't tell my wife that I dress but I told her I wanted to and it bummed her out.
Two weeks ago my son came very close to catching me dressed.

My stash is getting way to big to hide. I have thoughts of "Purging" but I know I'll regret it.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! LOL

[Nikki A.]

I have slowed down a bit in that I don't have the freedom that I did a few years ago. My biggest problem is seeing something I really like and then not buying it knowing that I have more than enough already.
Sometimes I have self control and other times, if it is really a deal I buy it.

[BettyMorgan]

I know the feeling about the urge to dress to get it out of my system. However, it seems to be getting stronger as I age. I am glad I came out to my girlfriend and extremely lucky she is accepting for most of what I do. I don't have to hide my clothes in a big bag, in a box, in another box, on a high shelf in the basement anymore. My clothes are out in the open, although my forms and wigs are usually tucked away but not hidden, if you know what I mean.

I know you are just venting but my wish for you is to continue the discussion with your wife. My hope is that she understands what it means to be a CD and you can come to an agreement with her. She may never ever want to see you wearing an article of woman's clothing, but she may allow you some private time to enjoy your dressing. Good luck, my friend.

If you purge, only purge the stuff you know you don't absolutely love or don't wear much. Otherwise, don't do it.

[CarlaWestin]

Storage unit or more fake ductwork in the basement.

[Angie G]

I don't think I can ever get to the point of over doing it Judy.:hugs:
Angie

[Dana44]

Judy, I feel for you. Try having a heart to heart talk with your wife and ask for help and time for yourself. Te help is what to do with the clothes to keep them private. My wardrobe keeps growing.

[Jenniferathome]

To me, "over doing" something means that other important things are falling off the table. Balance is the key to anything in life. As long as family, friends, and work are not suffering, then you are not over doing it.

[Tracii G]

I agree with Jennifer.
The sad part in all of this is you have to hide and sneak around. I could not live that way being under someones thumb.

[MarisaRose.]

Judy,
Keeping it all in perspective, finding a happy medium, what ever you want to call it. It's about striking a balance in your life that works for you and everyone else concerned, it's not so hard, yet it does require a bit of discipline if all those concerned aren't aware. I always have to remember, "that life isn't perfect, and I'm all I've got baby!" One day at a time......
Marisa..

[FrancescaDienes]

I find it hard to resist the urge sometimes too. It seems to be at it's worst when I'm expecting my landlord to knock for the rent or for my neighbour to give me a knock. It also doesn't help that my living room window looks directly onto both a busy path used by a lot of dog walkers and a busy road that takes a lot of traffic up to the airport. Thankfully, I've got pretty thick curtains and a nice big ottoman to hide my wardrobe in. I had to have a little chuckle to myself a few weeks back when my neighbour came in asking for help and she was sitting on the ottoman, if only she knew what was lying inches below her. I guess this is all part of the "dance" when we take this fantastic way of life, plus it adds a little of the pleasure of forbidden fruit to it. As for purging, I've not been dressing up long enough to want to start throwing stuff out yet, besides which if that time ever comes, I'll probably follow my mother's example and start making the clothes I want to throw out into cushion covers, pillow cases, rags and patches. Now I've got myself feeling super girly lol.

[Beverley Sims]

I lost that feeling years ago, it just takes time.

[Teresa]

Judy,
It's so easy to fall into that trap, it doesn't take long to find you're running out of space, I can't believe how quickly my shoe selection has increased, a few months ago I didn't a handbag now I appear to have one to suit most outfits . I only go out once a month to my social meetings but thinking outfits through just means another blouse or maybe a nice jacket. Lets face it Judy we just love it !!

I don't have the problem with my son seeing me, I'm out to my family, but as I said before they only know, it's a big difference between that and them actually seeing me.

Purge should be one the words that flags up on the forum as not allowed, big mistake !!!

[Pat]

It also doesn't help that my living room window looks directly onto both a busy path used by a lot of dog walkers and a busy road that takes a lot of traffic up to the airport.

Is the path that close to your window? For your own peace of mind take a stroll along that path and look at your apartment window. How much do you actually see? And people driving by? Why would they even look in your window let alone know it was you? (Which I presume is your fear.) There are all kinds of reasons to be prudent about keeping your identity under wraps if that's what you want to do, but sometimes we have unrealistic fears and that do us harm.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Judy :hugs: ,I wouldn't say that I over do it , I dress about 3 or 4 hours every morning and a couple hours a couple Evenings a week...:daydreaming:...

[Bobbi46]

The only time I think I have over done things is when I go the shops and instead of coming away with just one skirt and a top I come away with 2 of each in different colours, as to being seen my lounge window is right by the road with no pavement and as the road is a dead end, not many people come by but often I am dressed and at my PC which is close to the window and although I am awar e that somebody is going be I have noticed nobody looks in so as for overdoing it and being dressed in full view of any body then no I do not feel that over do it.

[Lauri K]

It's hard for me to relate so I will only make a few quick comments. When I read threads in this section I find that many here are either DADT or in the CLOSET, or all totally out for all to see nothing to hide.

But the OP basically told us that her small stash was easily hidden for 20 years, but her current stash is getting way too big to manage due to fear and lack of acceptance at home which is driving her to consider other options (sad)

Everyone has offered a lot of alternatives but at the end of the day I must ask what is the cost of being in the closet...........hiding, purging, storage off site, being unhappy, etc, etc.

We all have to manage this in harmony and find a balance to not go overboard, but to be honest I don't know how you closet girls have survived for 20 + years doing the Closet Houdini routine

[Jaylyn]

Lauri I guess I'm in the closet but my wife knows and helps. I'd go insane without her knowing I couldn't hide everything anyway from her.
Judy I want to tell you if there is any way you can get your wife on board with it your life will be much better. What is it about your dressing that bums her out? My wife and I both agree that it has made me a better, kinder, and more caring about others for some reason. My kids don't know and I want to keep it that way. They would probably think I've lost my mind and not let me play with the grandkids. That would be the hardest part of coming out. I understand you not wanting your son to find you dressed. Good luck to you and hope you can figure something out.

[Maria 60]

Welcome to most of our lives.

[Tracii G]

Like I said in another thread fear seems to rule over happiness for some people.
I know I could never be in a relationship where I had to toe the line and not be in control of my own happiness.
Has to be an awful way to exist thinking you are the alpha male of the group and you are too scared and have to hide everything.
Worried someone will look in a window and see an article of womens clothing really that is something to worry about?