The power of one word

[amy1989]

I was out shopping in drab the other day. As I was out I thought I might as well pick up a few bras as I needed a couple new ones. I was the only male in the lingerie section when I heard a woman's voice say "there's a man here" her friend didn't even pause before saying "so?"

It's amazing how one word of just two letters can make you feel like you can be somewhere. I know some people here, members and those who just read the forum feel fear about being ridiculed so I wanted to share a positive experience. Because of one word I had the confidence to take longer and not grab something in rush.

[Mykaa]

The power of words can be amazing cant they Amy? I also know the power words can have, both negative and positive, My skins thicker than it used to be easily I can say with the things Ive been thru Im not ashamed to be me anymore, :)

[Teresa]

Amy,
I was looking for a shade of lipstick and nail polish in the display racks totally oblivious to any one else, the women shoppers were having to shop round me, until a male voice said hello Mr. ****** how are you, it was a friend of my son with his GF, he glanced in my basket where I had nail polish remover and a pack of small eye makeup sticks. I smiled and hello and made my way to check , so I had to find another shop to find my lipstick and nail polish.

[Robin414]

Great post Amy! My spidy senses are always turned to 11 when I'm shopping, reminds me of a trip to LTS one morning. I was en tween at the time and the SA asked if I'd like to try it on (a button up shirt). Went into the change room in front of about five other women in the store chatting at the time and not a word was said (believe me, I was listening)...sometimes it's what's NOT said as well 😉

[Teresa]

Robin,
What do you think they were listening for ?

Occasionally you hear explicits when a zip won't do up or it's stuck at the top, or maybe a fit of laughter when I realised my wife had tried a dress on back to front !

[amy1989]

That's very true Robin, nothing being said cam be just as powerful if we listen to the silence.
Teresa, so far I havnt seen anyone I know when out shopping but I did order something off the Internet which arrived in a branded bag. My roommates mum lives in the same building and saw it. Although my roommates a GG she buys her cloths from the male section and her mum made a joke about which one of us two was the crossdresser.

[Robin414]

Robin,
What do you think they were listening for ?


I think I did yell out "this shirt makes the 'girls' look amazing!"

"I'll take two of what she's having!" 😂

[Mykaa]

Thats funny Amy.

[amy1989]

I thought it was funny, and he mum knows now and there's no issue so it all worked out.

[Judy-Somthing]

That's cool,
I never go out dressed.

One time as I was looking through a large table of bras at Filene's Basement and had a few in my hand, there was a mother and daughter (maybe 20) beside me also looking.

At first they didn't notice I was a guy as they talked to each other about the how the automatic price markdown works.

As daughter started to turn towards and ask if I knew how the markdown works she realized I was a guy, and her and her mother when into uncontrollable laughter.

Boy I was so embarrassed, at least I still look back at that day as a fun experience.

[phylis anne]

I was in a somas one time ,and had just had a fitting,after I decided which one I wanted I asked the s/a to remove the tag as I would wear it out.The minute I stepped out of the dressing room here comes this quite older matronly type she looke at me and the obvious fact i was wearing a bra and made the remark "well I never" I smiled at her and said well before today me either:laughing: as I was looking out in the store this same woman voiced her objections to an s/a who replied to her his spends as well as yours does ,so how may i help you ?
hugs phylis

[PattyT]

How true. Hearing a positive remark like the "so?" you heard can make your day. I rarely get a negative response such as
Judy-something had:
"As daughter started to turn towards and ask if I knew how the markdown works she realized I was a guy, and her and her mother when into uncontrollable laughter."
These are so rare that they can be left out of consideration:

Robin414 made a really valid comment in the opposite direction of this thread:


"Went into the change room in front of about five other women in the store chatting at the time and not a word was said (believe me, I was listening)...sometimes it's what's NOT said as well ��"

This is far more common that the negative response noted above, and is almost the rule rather than the exception. People will simply ignore you or just not care and say nothing. Good to keep this in mind.

[lingerieLiz]

Over the years I've enjoyed some interesting comments. Back in the 90s I was in paying for gas at a gas station. There was a long line to pay. I was wearing a bra under a woman's t-shirt. A woman behind me must have noticed the straps. As I turned to leave and was almost out the door she yelled "That man is wearing a bra!" I just kept walking.
Most of the time comments have been positive.

I was at a big sale at a women's store about 10 years ago. No wig or makeup wearing woman's jeans and a polo with bra under. I found about a half dozen blouses I wanted to try on. The dressing room doors were situated to face into the shopping area. I got in line with the women waiting also. Talked to a few of them as we were waiting our turns. And discussed potential purchases with a couple. After trying them on when I came out one of the women asked which ones are you getting? I showed her and her friend said good choices they will look good on you.

[Dana44]

Yeah one word can give us confidence. And another can take it away. But we need thicker skin. I remember one time years ago when I bought some bra's and undies and a skirt and a nightie and the checkout clerk, a GG said, after looking at them. "Are these yours? I said yes they are for me. She had a perplexed look as though she may have been available for me but lost an opportunity. She said, why do you good looking men do this. I said, it is the way we are and left. So sometime you need a thick skin. LOL

[Robin414]

She said, why do you good looking men do this. I said, it is the way we are and left. So sometime you need a thick skin. LOL

Yep, and life's short, you gotta be you, at some point!

[StacyCD]

A number of years ago I was out in a mall after a makeover and a little boy came up to me and asked if I was a man? I was crushed having been clocked. I responded yes I am to which he responded "cool". It made up for my initial disappointment and reinforced my belief that most people really don't care what you wear.

[Ressie]

I was the only male in the lingerie section when I heard a woman's voice say "there's a man here" her friend didn't even pause before saying "so?"


I heard almost the same words from the owner of a consignment shop a few years ago. I was just looking at a rack of women's clothing and I heard her say, "Ladies, there's a man in here". I just walked out the door. Now days I'd be more likely to have a smart come back. Maybe not.

[amy1989]

Personaly I think the best comeback in that situation woukd be "yes there is" and I'd like to think that I'd now have the confidence to say that. At the very least I now know I'd be able to finish my shopping. We all deserve that.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Amy, A few years ago (actually about 20 yrs ago) I was shopping for pantyhose and picked up three pair. When I went to the cashier to pay for them she said the following--------"Yours" I smiled and yes, why?????? She turned a very bright cherry red and didn't say another word. After that, I shop where ever and when ever I want. If GG's can shop in the men's dept. for there men, why can't I shop in the women's section for me?????

Molly

[Lexi_83]

I can remember one of the very first times I went out in public, at twilight, and despite my best efforts to pass I was not very passable. Two women walked by, and one made a face while her friend smiled and winked.

Even less than a word but helped me realize that getting read isn't the end of the world. I still spent a bunch before I went out the next time.....

[Judy-Somthing]

About a month ago I was looking at dresses and found one my size and as I was looking at it a female employee hanging some clothes near me said to herself "Looks like someone needs a dress"
I wasn't sure how to take it but I didn't feel good about it.

[Maria 60]

I don't know if it's a childhood thing or what, I never felt comfortable in the ladies department, for me it's like everyone's watching. To me there's always that look, of why is this guy here. On one occasion we were in line and I picked up a case of pop on the bottom of the buggie, and I guess my t-shirt rode up and there was two teenage girls behind us who were already giggling, and then all at once I heard one say "OMG this guys wearing pantyhose. I automatically went into freeze mode, but my wife isn't me, she turns around lifts my shirt pulls the waist line of the pantyhose up and tells them" yes he is and is there a problem with that. Wow they went into freeze mode and answered something like "no, no problem with that. Sometimes you have to show your confidence and good response.

[Helen_Highwater]

Yep so is a powerful word as is my fave "Why?"

Someone says something is wrong, "Gay marriage is wrong!" or something similar I usually reply with "Why?" and wait for the silence that follows as usually they have no idea as to why it is they think the way they do.

It's learned behavior on their part either from parents or contemporaries. When you ask them to reason for themselves they're at a loss to produce a logical argument.

Hey, just think how powerful "So why" could be!

[amy1989]

Helen, I've never thought about how powerful why could be until now. I'l have to remember that one.

[RachelB.]

A few months ago I stopped by a ladies store one afternoon. It was empty and the SA kept giving me strange looks. I had pick out a couple of items when she finally came over and asked if I needed help. I told her I was just looking. A few minutes later she asked if I would like her to start a dressing room for me. I was in jeans and a polo shirt and had just gotten off work. From her tone I think she was trying to be hateful but before I could stop myself I replied Yes Please. I tried on several items and even asked her for her opinion on a couple of tops. I bought several items and paid with my store credit card. I guess she likes my money because she always greets me by name when I stop by.

[Leelou]

Thanks for sharing the positive experience, Amy! I'll add that I've done all my in-person (as opposed to online) shopping en drab and my experiences have been overwhelmingly positive. I think it has everything to do with confidence. When I first started shopping for women's clothes, I was nervous and kept wondering what other people were thinking or saying. Quickly I gained confidence and it became so much more fun.

[jenniferinsf]

good for you amy....confidence and a smile