To everything ... There is a season

[Sometimes Steffi]

To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

The Birds (and Simon and Garfunkel)

My wife has been barely tolerating my crossdressing for the past year. Before that, she was always complaining about it.

We've talked about it many times, but it usually end up with someone (not me) crying. I told her that we really needed a referee (i.e., a therapist) to make any real break through, and I agreed to see any one she picked out, but it was up to her to initiate the process. Well, she called me today with a therapists name and wanted to know if we could next Monday (May 2). I'm really busy at work next week, but I agreed anyhow. she set up two appointments for the both of us.

I hope it helps us make some progress to acceptance, and maybe more.

[Dana44]

My SO is a therapists of sorts. But she has ptsd and goes to therapy at the VA. I asked her if she has discussed any of my crossdressing with her therapist and she said she has but not in a bad way. But she has become more accepting, which I find nice. I hope your therapy goes well.

[AnnieMac]

Simon & Garfunkel never did that tune.

[Meghan4now]

It's from Ecclisiasties 3.

I hope this is not foreboding as it is,a popular scripture for funerals and times of loss, meant to comfort and put life events in perspective of a greater reality.

[Rhonda Darling]

Steffi:

On behalf of all your DC Ladies friends, wishing you a good outcome. If you and your wife can come through this with a better understanding and a greater level of acceptance of your dressing, it will be a sign of hope for all. I know you've been struggling with her lack of acceptance for a long time, so this breakthrough is ampleasant and welcome surprise.

Good luck and update us as you can.

Rhonda

[Pat]

Good luck! Couples therapy can help if both parties want it to.

As a side note, I think "A time to cast away stones / A time to gather stones together" is more meaningful to crossdressers. ;)

[Alice Torn]

The Byrds did that in a 1960's song, "Turn, Turn, Turn." That sounds like a positive step, for both of you. It will also depend on what the therapist thinks about CDing.

[Sometimes Steffi]

A quick update:

This morning she showed me this article in the Washington post

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2016/04/21/truth-and-transgender-at-70/

about a man who repressed his TS desires until he turned 70, and got gender confirming surgery with his wife's approval

The article is by Amy Nutt, a Washington Post journalist who wrote the just published "Becoming Nicole", a true story about Nicole Maines, a TG girl from Maine who got the State of Maine to approve use of gender appropriate restrooms in public schools, among other accomplishments.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2016/04/21/truth-and-transgender-at-70/

Amy Nutt was one of the speakers at Keystone 2016.

Nicole Maines was one of the speakers at Keystone 2015.

Her father, Wayne Maines, was one of the speakers at Keystone 2014.

Anyhow, I think that education and the ability to question your own beliefs is the path that leads to the light and out of the darkness. maybe, just maybe, my wife is willing to at least consider this path.

We have been to couple's counseling twice, the first time with someone she picked who always called crossdressing "the elephant in the room". But, apparently, he couldn't talk about the elephant. A second time was with a therapist I selected who did have gender counseling experience, but my wife was not ready to take it far enough.

Thanks for all the comments on the lyrics and their origin. I guess I just thought about them as representing change.

[Diane Smith]

Simon & Garfunkel never did that tune.

It was written by Pete Seeger. The Byrds recorded the most popular cover.

- Diane

[JamieG]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

[LelaK]

Last year I asked my GF to get counseling with me for our relationship. She didn't want to. So I looked online for relationship advice. One guy said he's a marriage coach, not counselor, and he said marriage counseling has a high failure rate, 60 to 70%, and it often makes relationships worse. So I gathered that my GF might have been right to want to avoid counseling. She broke up with me anyway.

Here's how the guy's ad starts out:
"I’m Liam Naden and if you’re willing to spend 30 days with me I can help you save your marriage – no matter what state it’s currently in. I’m a marriage coach and best-selling author and I have already helped many couples take their marriage from a place of pain and despair to joy and happiness.
"If your marriage is in trouble there is one thing I can promise you:
You have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how devastating ending your marriage will be – until it happens to you. In fact, NOTHING can prepare you for the hell you will experience in going through a divorce. For most people, it is the WORST experience of their life, and they nearly always wish that they had tried just a little harder to save their marriage."

His site is http://liamnaden.com.

[Tina81]

Steffi,
I wish you and your wife the best. Education and awareness helped my wife. Her response to crossdressing is "it's only clothes." I hope everything works out for you.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Steffi :hugs: , I think that there are two kinds of Therapist's

The ones that tell your wife what she wants to hear

And the ones that tell you what you want to hear

I really hope that it works out for both of you ...:daydreaming:...