Ever Feel Silly?

[xNicolex]

OK so even though I feel great as Nicole and I am really comfortable. I sometimes feel, well a little silly. It's weird because I love dressing and even though my GF,friends and family have met Nicole and seem fine with it, there is still a little part of me that say's omg you are crazy :o I think it's partly the guy in me and more because I have only started to dress less than a year ago. I guess it will feel more normal with more practice :) I only feel it the most when I go out in public which has only been twice. Also I kinda hate my midriff ok I really hate it. It really adds to the insecurity of being seen as I sometimes feel I look like a cow :sad: just wondered if no matter how long you have been a seasoned dresser, have you or do you still feel any bit insecure about your dressing?

[docrobbysherry]

Apples and oranges for me, Nicole. I've been dealing with guilt from my dressing for ages. Just about got past that! Now, it sometimes occurs to me I'm a grown man playing dress up like 6 year old girls do!:heehee:

Pretty dressers r just like pretty women. We ALL see the tiny flaws no one else ever sees!:eek:

Well, in my case? Not so tiny!:sad:

[Tracii G]

Not really because it feels right to me to be in girl mode.
Don't worry about the midriff too much lots of women have them.

[iGenny]

Yes, sometimes I DO feel silly. But it doesn't bother me. I smile and shake my head and think, "oh, well... ."

[Closeted Kat]

@nicole I too have felt these feeling occasionally, but they soon pass. Its all part of getting balance I think for those of us newer to this.

@sherry your pictures always look like you are having such fun I'd have never guessed you felt that way.

[Nikki.]

I've never been out dressed, but when I try to think about it abstractly and reason it out, the whole enchilada seems weird and silly to me sometimes. for at least 20 years I did a great job at floating down that river in Africa. Off and on I would try to analyze why in the world I liked wearing what I perceived as sexy woman's clothing, in that 1. I'm a guy, 2. I seriously doubted anyone else would find it sexy, even though I did on myself. 3. I couldn't figure out any childhood event that caused me to want to wear woman's clothing. My childhood was fine. I guess I thought there had to be some causation in childhood since I started around 5 or 6.

Now I accept it as a part of myself, and I will never change this part of me, because lord knows I wanted to many times over the years, and didn't.

So basically for me, acceptance -> given up on the why, and while I still think at times the whole thing is silly and strange, I'm actually at peace with it, and want to go out :)

[Judy-Somthing]

Sometimes when I'll be thinking at work about dressing up and I'll start laughing out loud, other workers will ask "what's so funny.
I do think it's funny that I love dresses so much, I bought three today......

[Nikki.]

Oh and I'm slightly jealous that you're at where your at in your 20's. I'm one of those 40somethings that has a twinge of regret over wasted youth...college and just beyond would have been a ton more fun had I accepted myself back then and just rolled with it. If you really think you're wired as a CD, enjoy the wrinkle free and minimal responsibility years and have fun!

[Jenniferathome]

...just wondered if no matter how long you have been a seasoned dresser, have you or do you still feel any bit insecure about your dressing?

Nicole, cross dressing is pretty weird. It just makes no sense. Because it makes no sense, I do not try to make sense of it. It just is. So why feel insecure about something that "is"?

[JessieA]

I only sometimes feel like I'm being silly worrying over details of how I look even if just dressed at home. But another part of me just feels like it's a natural trait of my female side. But I never feel silly for actually dressing it part of being Jessica that I truly love.

[MissTee]

From time to time I do feel silly. Like, "What am I doing?" Then I get distracted by a cute skirt . . .

[Robin414]

Some times, but that's why I present 'en tween' most of the time, being ME isn't silly at all, pretending to be a girl though, that's messed up LOL 😂 ☺

And about the midrift thing, honestly Nicole, I didn't even notice, I'd totally give you a hall pass any day!

[Lena]

Often. I mean if you think of it, many women can't wait to get out of the clothes we can't wait to get into.

[Georgette_USA]

Also I kinda hate my midriff ok I really hate it. just wondered if no matter how long you have been a seasoned dresser, have you or do you still feel any bit insecure about your dressing?


When I was a teen and would CD I would sometimes get that feeling like it was so silly/weird/strange. As I got older I realized it was because I needed to be just like all the other girls as I was one.

As for the midriff, that is where I carry a lot of my weight. When buying outfits, I sometimes look like I have a baby bump. Not unusual for women to be insecure on their body and dressing. Like "do I look fat in this" or "is my butt too big". There is NO easy answer for that.

[Jen92]

Yeah sometimes I do feel silly/embarrassed with CDing and do understand. I try to rationalise CDing as follows:
Life consists of (1) being born (2) living (3) dying. You don't get to choose (1) or (3) but you have a big degree of control of (2) so just enjoy living as you want to. It seems you are quite young and have a supporting SO. I am 44 and only in last year have I embraced my feelings and opened up to my SO, who has supported me. The difference between you and me (and others) is that you have the opportunity to dress appropriately for your age, whereas I wouldn't carry off the look of a younger female (I try to dress genuine). You also have many years to get your head around it. Accept its part of you. You are massively lucky, you look great as a female, you are young and have a supporting SO. Many don't have your opportunity. You are so fortunate. You are blessed. You have a fantastic life ahead of you and CDing is just a part of you. You are not doing anything wrong, you are not hurting anyone. Most me have their kink/thing and some of those things are potentially harmful, dangerous, illegal. CDing is either related gender identity issues, or do with a bit of a kink/fetish side of a person. I am the latter but neither is bad nor wrong. Just different. I hope this helps in some way.
Love seeing your pics by the way always great to see your look you look great. Just a last bit of advice. From this site you will realise that you are lucky to have a supporting SO. Make her your no1 priority BEFORE CDing. Don't risk being a lonely CDer. Treat her wonderfully and listen to her !
Jen x

[Kate Simmons]

I've realized that I can feel silly and pretty at the same time. Works for me. :battingeyelashes::)

[leannejacobs]

I often feel silly and kick myself for going out, it usually happens a day or two after I've been somewhere public, pushing boundaries as I tend to be drawn to, it is silly, a guy in women's clothes but it's so much fun, as others have mentioned, you're young and have such good opportunities, it's far more accepted in your generation, lap it up and make the most of it.
Just saw your little black dress post, you look great, I see you have concerns with your midriff, there are lots of waist clinchers out there that would deal with that, we are men at the end of the day and don't have female bodies, you have to use what's available.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nicole :hugs: , Not really, It's just Who I am and it's just what I do...:daydreaming:...

[PattyT]

I don't feel silly when I'm out and about en femme. This may be the result of years of crossdressing. I do feel a bit silly in drab. I belong en femme not in drab.

SamanthaSometimes stated:

"I completely understand your feelings but my feelings were not so much silliness but rather intense curiosity as to why I enjoy dressing as female. However, over a long period of time, after better understanding myself and accepting that some femininity is a part of my personality, I don't feel 'strange' any more"

I can easily identify with that. Perhaps I may have felt a bit odd at the very start of my CD career but that passed quickly. It's all part of the process of becoming a full fledged CD.

[SamanthaSometimes]

I completely understand your feelings but my feelings were not so much silliness but rather intense curiosity as to why I enjoy dressing as female. However, over a long period of time, after better understanding myself and accepting that some femininity is a part of my personality, I don't feel 'strange' any more. I supposed if we could ask a butterfly why it migrates, it would say "It's simply who I am and what I do" without any rational explanation. I'm now that butterfly and you too may reach that conclusion once you have dressed over a longer period of time.
Best to you Nicole.

[alwayshave]

Do I feel silly in that even when everything, makeup, dress, walk, is as perfect as it can be, I don't pass, yes I feel silly. But I love it so much more than I feel silly.

[CarlaWestin]

Yeah, silly. Right!? Sometimes I'm going for silly.

[Beverley Sims]

I sometimes think, "Why am I doing this"?

I ask the question and then move on, I think that is all you can do.

[Karine]

Of course I sometimes feel silly. Crossdressing is very uncommon and I think nobody knows why we do that.
But I just try to keep in mind that I am not hurting anyone, I am just having fun.

[Jenny22]

Yes, silly, but a good silly such as when i'm selecting a skirt and top to wear .. this one, no that one, no this one, silly. Ditto with jewelry and shoes. Its fun being silly.

[Pat]

Crossdressing is very uncommon and I think nobody knows why we do that.

I do. But I'm not telling. :devil:

[Teresa]

Nicole,
I can sometime feel silly in drab !

I don't feel silly but it's having to live with people that think I will look silly or worse, if it's something inside that needs to be satisfied you will do it no matter what. Sometimes we may push the boundaries of what's sensible to wear basically because we can't do it in male mode. A woman can experience far more compliments and comments to how she dresses and looks, to me the femme side of us enjoys and needs that as much as any GG.

[sometimes_miss]

Often. I mean if you think of it, many women can't wait to get out of the clothes we can't wait to get into.
^this is the comment that pretty much says it best. All I can add, is that there are times when I'm putting on an outfit, knowing that I'm going through all the trouble even though I'm not even leaving the house, and the thought that goes through my mind is, 'What the heck am I doing this for? This is ridiculous. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing. Real women HATE wearing this stuff, that's what I should be remembering the most, that they'd be much happier and more comfortable wearing jeans and a comfy sweatshirt. So why can't I?

[JaytoJillian]

"Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't"

"Almond Joy's got nuts, Mounds don't"

Okay, I have totally dated myself with that reference, but yah, sometimes I feel a little nutty, but it's MY thing to enjoy. Really have no serious vices.

[Lacy PJs]

I have to agree. I sometimes feel silly when I see myself in the mirror in some PJs or similar outfit. I guess since I don't dress to pass, it doesn't bother me that much. Besides, most of the time I sleep with the lights out so who's going to see me???

Lacy PJs

[sara66]

I have dressed up for most of the last 40 years, still when I lookin the mirror I feel a little odd. But when you realize how wonderful you feel, its all good.

[Dana44]

Good question Nicole. But Silly? Yeah we are sometimes silly. But insecure? No, But I saw a lot of large men who was out there and they blended in and had confidence. There are many large women. Here there are also tall women and that helps us blend in also. So, no I'm not insecure crossdressing but yes sometimes silly.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Nicole, cross dressing is pretty weird. It just makes no sense.

It makes perfect sense, at least for those who do identify as transgender in some way which does include some crossdressers. The clothing reflects the gender.

Veronica

[LelaK]

I feel embarrassed identifying with a physical body that is gross inside. Eventually I want to have one that's pretty inside and out. But embarrassment doesn't bother me. I'm not embarrassed about being embarrassed.

I share the midriff concern. Diet is the main thing to keep weight normal, namely low carb diet, NOT low fat diet. But even with good diet I've been getting a midriff problem. Luckily, my brother mentioned an exercise that seems to have helped his. It's pedaling a few minutes a day upside-down on an imaginary bicycle, with hands clasped behind your head. I just need to remember to keep doing it.

[Jaylyn]

I do feel sill sometimes applying my makeup, I have to push that feeling back and make my mind concentrate on my task at hand. I guess it's hard to get the male into frilly dresses for me. I can get into sexy ones but not frilly cute ones. I feel very "silly in frilly", (oughta be a song in that). I love sexy though. I love the silky feel of certain material. After a while when I've gone so far into dressing the silly feeling passes and I get more serious. I'm not one to want to be dressed all day very often. Usually a couple hours and I'm ready to get back to normal ever what that is.

[Georgette_USA]

It makes perfect sense, for those who do identify as transgender in some way... The clothing reflects the gender.


This statement says a lot. Without clothes temporarily, like at a nudist place, would CDs exist. I guess you could still shave allover, makeup, wig, jewelry. But would that be silly or not.

Thread on what if SO cross dressed as a man. Thread on the color pink. Interesting viewpoints. After all these are just clothes and colors.

After Post MtF TS SRS. For 30 years I had to dress in pants and simple tops for work, always thought of it as my work uniform. But I still did some makeup, nails, jewelry, and underneath nice kinds of sexy undies. I still knew I was all woman, and did those little things to remind myself and others of that. Now I dress in whatever outer clothes I like. Pretty much dresses as I have always found them to be comfortable. Is that silly.

If clothing reflects Gender. Many say they are not TG as they know what their gender is and NO confusion. Yet some separate their "manly" pursuits/things from their femme selves. I have NO male side, but I also do some "manly" pursuits/things.

It also begs the question, just what is gender identity, not gender roles/pursuits or dressing. If one is secure in gender identity, what is silly about CD, they are just clothes.

[elliemoss]

yes I do from time to time but not as much as I used to. I'm getting better at accepting this part of me and enjoying it.

[Valery L]

It makes perfect sense. Even when this activity is harmless, the environment is hostile at some extent. What do we gain by doing this?, does it really worth it considering the risk and disapproval of society?, it makes sense to do such questions. Society sucks and it makes things unnecessarily harder than they should be. It is reasonable to feel silly about this activity. Personally, I do not think it is silly since anyone should be able to dress as they want, nobody should care.

[Tonya Rose]

Lena Nailed it... LMAO!!!!!

[Lori Kurtz]

Did I ever feel silly about my dressing? Well, on any occasion when I'd think rationally about the fact that I was dressing up as a sexy woman in order to stimulate myself sexually so that I could satisfy myself, yeah. Very silly. So I tried not to think rationally about it. And I usually succeeded.

[Alice Torn]

I go through quite a few feelings. Everything from guilt, fear and shame, to silliness, fun, acceptance that i have this proclivity.

[Charlessa]

I do sometimes when I'm out in public. it's because I'm the only one I've ever seen crossdressing. at least that I know of. I just feel weird out in public. but I love going out

[Raychel]

there was time n the past when I did feel silly, or thought WTF am I doing.
But now that some time has past and I have accepted myself for who I am,
grown to be more comfortable in my own skin. I no longer have those feelings. :dance:

[Fiona123]

Not silly. Sad, unfulfilled, oppressed by intolerance is more like it. I wish I had more joy from my fem side. 🌺

[Sarah Doepner]

Yeah, sometimes I feel silly when I'm dressing across from my sex and for my gender.

Usually that happens when the outfit fails to connect with the person I am and aims for the person popular culture sends up as the ideal. It usually means I've given up a little control to the notorious "pink fog" and my frustration is being wiped away as I indulge fantasies. I'm silly because there is no way I'm ever going to be a girl 5'6" and 23 years old with a cute nose and great figure. I'm silly for falling for the images clothing and cosmetic manufacturers use to sell their products. I'm silly when I want to pretend I had a girlhood, or know what it's like to experience life through the eyes and under the challenges women face. I'm reminded that I'm silly for wanting to be anything other than who and what I am, even if others may not be able to understand my gender is real, even if my boobs and hair aren't homegrown.

And I used to feel silly wearing Hawaiian shirts, but I'm even over that now.

[Sheila11]

Close to fifty years of enjoying female clothes. I never felt silly until I started going out.
Are you nuts?
What are you thinking?
You don't even look good at fifty feet?
Your a man in a dress!

Then I see another pretty dress and it is all irrelevant.

[pamela7]

not silly, sometimes i have dressed to avoid attention, but today was my first trip the garage (car service time) in unambiguous femme - skirt, bright pink nails, low-cut frully top, necklace, bright painted toe nails; not a problem whatsoever.

Maybe it's your male aspect?

[AllisonS]

Silly is part of the fun. Life isn't "Serious Business". I have a GG friend that loves Allison because she is silly and fun.

[Lily Catherine]

I am most insecure when I choose to dress to impress. A lot more than I have realised, whether it be makeup or garment choices. Sometimes the illusion is far too high above the reality so consequently I don't exactly match my mind's perception of how I wish to look. As I am petite, big boobs don't look good on me, so plunging necklines are out of the question for now. Heck, even revealing cleavage at all is still unthinkable for me. I feel weird with excessive padding on my chest as well. I can still see why it's preferred on the voluminous dresses that I like.

The general concept of getting myself dolled up in opulent finery at home does of course come across as odd to me as I don't exactly have an occasion for such garments (It goes without saying that crossdressing at my university formal is a decision way beyond unwise), but the feeling of such garments has its own unique appeal.

Oddly enough, I don't feel awkward wearing garments that are totally incapable of creating my figure for me. One of my favourite photos of myself was taken in a midriff-baring top and a pair of shorts. Something I could easily wear at home for comfort.

While I have played the piano at home in an evening gown, and admittedly 'felt pretty' as is commonly said, I did feel it was somewhat... silly of me. Not that it had any impact on the actual playing. I still find myself a little more comfortable than in a blazer - heat is my bane - but I would rather a tank top and running shorts than a gown; the latter is still exceedingly ostentatious at home. The prospect of crossdressing for a recital is still fairly remote to me.

[NicoleScott]

....I sometimes feel I look like a cow ...

...maybe you need some udder clothes...

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Diversity]

Yes, there are often times I feel silly, especially when I think about being caught out by people I love and who do not know about this aspect of me. Still, though, I continue to dress, because I love doing so, and it just feels right to me. Best of luck to you and I believe you should continue to do what you feel is right for you and your spirituality.
Di

[PattyT]

Occasionally I feel just a tad silly. I mean, why is an otherwise "normal" guy like me out en femme and not only enjoying it, but feeling so totally natural this way? The feeling passes really quickly. I like what Teresa said, as it is much more pertinent to me,

"I can sometime feel silly in drab !"

I really do feel silly in drab, as well as uncomforable. I think I look silly en drab too, far better en femme.

- - - Updated - - -

[QUOTE=Diversity;3944456]Yes, there are often times I feel silly, especially when I think about being caught out by people I love and who do not know about this aspect of me. Still, though, I continue to dress, because I love doing so, and it just feels right to me. Best of luck to you and I believe you should continue to do what you feel is right for you and your spirituality.

Right on, Diversity. I can really identify with this statement. Instead of "often times", I would prefer just "on occasion," however.

[Liz57]

From time to time I do feel silly. Like, "What am I doing?" Then I get distracted by a cute skirt . . .

I really like Miss Tee's answer.

But yes, at times I do feel silly like, You're a grown ass man wearing a dress, WTF. Then another part of me thinks, So what, it's only clothes and it's only society's distorted opinion that there is anything wrong with it.

[Robin414]

Honestly, this is one of my greatest fears! I present en tween a lot and I don't feel silly because I'm not 'pretending' and that helps ease the silly feeling.

Even when I present full femme I don't use any forms or padding, being fake in any way makes me feel silly (fake) and I think it shows, it crushes my self confidence!

I guess being 'me' is the easiest way not to feel silly and feel like a woman at the same time!

OMG, I think I'm TG 🙃

[Usulsjourney]

I get that silly feeling on occasion as well. Usually when I see myself in a full mirror and it is very clear that I'm a 6'3' man in lingerie. However, much of my pleasure comes from the feeling of dressing and not the image as a whole so as soon as I carry on, walk away from the image and just be, the silliness fades. Isolated images, say the waist down or just the stockinged calf and foot in heels are different. I tend to focus on those images when possible.

[Samantha Clark]

I sometimes feel it's silly and other times feel it's ridiculous, but only when I'm thinking about it when I'm not dressed up. When I'm dressed up, I'm too busy enjoying it to think too hard about how silly it must be!

[Randee]

Yes I can feel silly after being overpowered by my urge to slip into clothing usually worn by the other sex. But the good news is, it is totally reversible, even if I have made a bit of a fool of myself.

[Crissy Kay]

Yes I do at times. But it still doesn't stop me!!