Getting Hit On

[Martha G]

I am looking forward to going out soon dressed as a woman.

I do make a very passable and attractive woman. Not a man in a dress.

What would you ladies recommend if I would get hit upon by some aggressive male?

[bridget thronton]

I point out that I am married - i do not have any experience being out as a single woman

[I Am Paula]

They're not very aggressive. In fact they are quite fragile creatures. All you need do is politely say no, and feel a little flattered.

[heatherdress]

Martha, unless you are going to a bar or a club, you are probably not going to get asked out by anyone. You are probably not going to get noticed by anyone. Don't worry. Have fun.

[Martha G]

No I would go to a coffee shop, tea room, museum or library. Or possibly shopping for clothes.

I don't go to clubs or bars as a male!

[Robin414]

I like relaxing at parks a lot myself and wouldn't say I get hit on but I've been approached by guys walking the dog a lot. My voice isn't quite there yet and I think that puts the brakes on pretty quickly 😲

[Tracii G]

It happens and I have only encountered 1 sort of aggressive male out maybe 20 encounters.
Most will back off when you say no. The one kept on so I said look I'm not interested and if you touch me again you won't like the outcome.
At that point it clicked for him I was still a guy and if he pushed too far I would react with a knuckle sandwich.
He knew I was a CD from the get go so it wasn't like he thought I was a GG.

[Lilly 40C]

I would engage in conversation. After they realize you're a CD the choice of going further is strictly between the two of you. As for me, if the guy is good looking I would go as far as I am comfortable.

[Pat]

My suggestion would be do what you think is right. Smile, say thank you and decline; smile, say thank you and accept; smile, say thank you and see where the conversation leads. There are no formulas. ;)

[docrobbysherry]

Ask him what he does for a living and how much money he makes?:battingeyelashes:

[Stephanie47]

Well, I haven't been out attired as a woman with the intent to interact with the public. However, in my youth with my military physique, blond wavy hair, tall slender body, I was hit on by gay men and interested women. I just declined with I am not interested, thank you! Of course, my wife did react with varying degrees of hostility. Very possessive she was.....is.

[TrishaTX]

I always wear a wedding ring....male one when male and a fake diamond female one when I go out as a female.

[Martha G]

I may look like a woman and tend to be a little effeminate when dressed, but I am one tough fighter! Anyone over aggressive and don't take no will get one big surprise.

Remember I am a man under the clothes and makeup

I am the complete opposite of Martha! Martha is my female alter ego.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Another possible response is to say, "Sorry, but I am only into women."

[Jenniferathome]

I'd have just one question. "Did you leave your guide dog at home?"

[ReineD]

How old are you?

Reason I ask is, I'm a GG in my 50s and instances of being hit on at my age are very rare. lol. I still look "viable" enough (tall, slim, mid-back long straight hair with no gray in it yet, pleasing enough face and I smile easily), but still people can see in my face that I am in my 50s. This means that younger men aren't interested. And older men? A lot of them don't have the energy. :p For the rare few who do, they approach it in a rather old-fashioned way with a flirty comment that sounds more like a compliment than a come-on. These are easy to deflect, just answer in a flirty way with a wink and a smile, and then move on. You'll make their day.

[Martha G]

I'm 73 but when dressed look a lot younger. I also make an attractive and passable woman.

More than likely no one would notice, but there are all kinds of jerks out there.

[larry]

That was funny Doc
Ask him what he does for a living and how much money he makes?:battingeyelashes:

[cindy777]

Totally agree with you Martha, when I go out dressed as a woman that is what I feel I am, act and treated as. It is does not hurt the ego when men paying attention to you or hit on you. It never ceases to amaze me what men what to do or would like to for me. But must admit when I am wearing high heel boots or low cut dress it does look attractive. One time a guy came up and wanted to know if he could lick my boots lol, I respectively declined.

[Sallee]

I have had it happen in the past but managed to deflect it. It was kid of fun and don't how I would have handled it if it continued.

[Tracii G]

Wear a wedding ring set.
I do that when dressed always and it does seem to help.
It will not stop all but it lets them know you are taken so to speak.

[Kate Simmons]

Play it to the hilt an just enjoy it I say. :battingeyelashes::)

[Stephanie47]

Reine (#16 comment), where have you been? As a retiree with a working wife I do the grocery shopping. There's a heck of a lot intentional smashing of grocery carts in the food aisles at my local stores. I get hit on at least once every two weeks, which I then assumed, if I hit on them they would be receptive. You just need to get out more. :)

[Jenniferathome]

Stephanie, if crashing a grocery cart is someone's idea of flirting, they forgot how a long time ago.

I'm with Reine on this. The older you get, the more invisible you become, especially so in a bar or club. And I've seen a picture or Reine and she's gorgeous. Older guys in a club are creepy and older women are sad.

[Georgette_USA]

I'm with Reine on this. The older you get, the more invisible you become, especially so in a bar or club. And I've seen a picture or Reine and she's gorgeous. Older guys in a club are creepy and older women are sad.


Reine
I wouldn't be hitting on you, not my nature, but I would be very interested in you. I agree as we age people tend to just look thru older, I am 65, you just have to work harder to not be invisible.

Jennifer
Not just older guys are creepy, I have encountered quite a few younger creepy guys. I don't agree that older women are sad. We may be looking for the same as younger. Does that makes US sad. What would you have US do, move into some old people home and just fade away.

[Jenniferathome]

Georgette, I was referring to the stereotype

[samantha rogers]

How you react is first determined by whether or not you are interested. Lol
As to the age thing ... Lol... Reine I'm older than you and I'm hit on a lot. And Jennifer ....I can assure you nice people of all ages continue to have a healthy sex drive long after some might consider them "washed up". Passion, love and a need for intimacy are not attributes that belong exclusively to the young.
I will say this.. Most guys are respectful once you set them straight. It does not have to he mean spirited. For some guys approaching a women takes a lot of courage. I respect that and try to be nice even when totally uninterested. Then again , I confess I've wasted a perfectly good drink or two in my time when some creep needed a good dousing to calm his crass ardor .... though, in such cases, withering sarcasm also usually works.
Good luck!

[Georgette_USA]

Jennifer
I assumed you might have been referring to stereotypes. I will resort to some things in a sarcastic way. Not big on stereotypes, I tend to respond such.

If I thought you really felt that way it might have been worse.

Found my new calling this last weekend. A big sister to the younger newer MtF TS. At a club and some guy was chatting a group of us up. A friend was OK, but he turned creepy quick, getting all touchy feely with her. I noticed she was not sure what to do, so I put my arm around her, and told him to back away as she was with me and we did not appreciate that type of activity.

Samantha
You put it much better than I could. Never had to resort to the drink dousing yet. I find being straight forward or sarcasm works for me.

[ReineD]

Reine (#16 comment), where have you been? As a retiree with a working wife I do the grocery shopping. There's a heck of a lot intentional smashing of grocery carts in the food aisles at my local stores.

I don't consider the bumping of grocery carts being hit on. Nor do I consider I'm hit on when a man says hi to me, or opens my door. Bumping a grocery cart only requires an "Excuse me" and moving on, no need to put a lot of thought into this. lol. If someone says "hi", you just say "hi" back and again move on. If someone opens a door, you say "thank you" and move on. Now IF they follow that up with, "Excuse me but I think you're hot and I'm wondering if you'd like to have a drink with me", THEN that's being hit on.

I assumed this is what the OP meant, when she asked how to respond to these things. But, women in their 50s and older get much fewer of these types of proposals than they did when they were younger. That's just a fact of life. And that's because a lot of men aren't as energetic as they age. That's another fact of life.

(Thanks for the compliment Jenn) and it's true, middle aged women become invisible. There's an entire flock of younger women out there getting the attention, as they should. What's also true is that most middle aged women don't mind the invisibility. It comes with the territory. :) I consider myself pretty average. I'm happy in my relationship. I'm not looking for anyone else. And if I were alone, I don't think I'd be seeking a brand new relationship anyway, and so I dress correspondingly which means presentable, comfortable, with not a lot of focus on dresses, skirts, heels, etc, unless I'm going somewhere special, and even that is only occasionally.

I want to add that by invisible, I don't mean that middle aged women cease to count. Not at all. I have friends, I go out, I have fun, I have lots of interesting conversations with lots of interesting people, I travel and meet more interesting people (who are not hitting on me :p), and when I'm involved in projects I have ideas and I am heard. The invisibility Jenn mentioned and that I speak of, relates specifically to having men hit on you. And like I said, younger men don't see middle aged women that way. And older men don't have the energy they once did. How many old guys stand at corners cat calling the hot young women walking by.

[Krisi]

At age 73 or whatever you think you look like when dressed as a woman, your chances of being "hit on" are pretty slim, assuming of course that you are in normal places doing normal things. Walking back and forth in front of a bar at 2:00 AM in six inch heels and a miniskirt would be different.

Start by wearing a wedding ring. If a conversation with a man starts going the wrong way, just tell him you are married and show him your ring. You can tell him your husband is coming back soon. Using your natural male voice will probably send him on his way.

I don't think the thought that you are a man and can beat him up is a good one to count on. There's at least a fifty fifty chance that he can beat you up and you are probably not used to fighting with boobs and heels on. You will feel uncomfortable going to jail with boobs and heels anyway.

[jenniferinsf]

My suggestion would be do what you think is right. Smile, say thank you and decline; smile, say thank you and accept; smile, say thank you and see where the conversation leads. There are no formulas. ;)

to me jennie-cd is so correct....no need to have a predetermined position nor be rude

[adrienner99]

I am not gay but used to go dressed to gay bars with drag shows. Once, a man starting talking to me and bought me drinks. I enjoyed it, carefully, and went home alone. It was fun.

[JamieMcCarthy]

I remember the very first time I went out dressed to a CD bar in Jersey. I had a guy across the bar buy me a drink. After about 10 minutes I went over to say hello and we were talking and chatting. I was really curious to see how it was to be the "prey". He started rubbing my legs and stomach and was really sweet. I was getting a little overwhelmed and told him so and he actually was very nice and understanding and calming me down. I decided to leave after a few more minutes. I just got scared and was feeling these things I never did before. He walked me out and we made out in the parking lot a little bit. I really enjoyed it. My advice would be just trust yourself and your gut. Good will come out of it way more than bad.

[joanna4]

Just keep avoiding them, say no, shake your head, pull away in the opposite direction and all this lets those around you that you are distressed and not wanting his presence.

[Beverley Sims]

Martha,
If you get hit on, regect the advances politely and move on.

[GenieGirl]

I usually tell them I'm a lesbian or just ignore them....mostly just smile and act like I was too busy in a hurry and keep on moving. My gf would be much ruder to men or women if that were to happen with her present I believe.

[heatherdress]

Martha - If you get hit on while crossdressing at 73 years young, record it, and go viral. Have fun.

[AllisonS]

I asked my GF that and she said, if he touches you after you make it known you don't want that, SCREAM at him so everyone can hear, Stop F-ing touching me you pervert !!!