Transvestic fetishism

[Laurie A]

I think its fair to say that I could be accused of harboring transvestic fetishes. Ohhh women's clothing, it was all so seductive, sensuous and beautiful.... As I grow older though, the urgency, the visceral responses that I once experienced, from seeing or touching certain items, has become less and less.

When younger, I was considered a handsome man, perhaps I was just too hung up on passing as a beautiful woman, my vanity got the best of me. I just was not given any feminine body or facial structure. Now I'm too deeply invested in the male side of my life, the complications would be more than I'm willing to face.

So having given up the idea of ever considering transitioning, I think the fetish has lost some of its luster. Can anyone else relate?

[Tracii G]

If it was a fetish to you why on earth would you have even considered transitioning?

[Laurie A]

Well, I left a lot of detail out, but in a nutshell, it began as a fetish and grew more serious over the years (in my imagination at least)

[docrobbysherry]

Tracii, I cannot answer for Dela but can for myself. I could be classified as fetishistic TV. For over 10 years I wanted real breasts and thot about srs a lot. It suddenly dawned on me that what I really wanted to look like a pretty woman. Not be unattractive but physically female.

The fantasy of having your own breasts and vagina can be very appealing to a self addicted dresser. It was to me. But, as u mite note, for all the wrong reasons!

[Dana44]

Yeah a fantasy is strong in a person mind. But as men the idea of transitioning was hardly an interest. But I still love crossdressing and being able to reflect my feminine attitude. Nothing has lost luster but some routines are pretty routine now. And yes those clothes are so seductive, sensuous, and beautiful. Yes indeed!

[Laurie A]

Tracii, I cannot answer for Dela but can for myself. I could be classified as fetishistic TV. For over 10 years I wanted real breasts and thot about srs a lot. It suddenly dawned on me that what I really wanted to look like a pretty woman. Not be unattractive but physically female.

The fantasy of having your own breasts and vagina can be very appealing to a self addicted dresser. It was to me. But, as u mite note, for all the wrong reasons!

"wrong reasons" ??

[docrobbysherry]

Wanting to transition for the wrong reasons. Sorry!

[Laurie A]

i don't think anyone should judge your reasons, they are yours and yours alone to make.. do you feel they are wrong?

[Rachael Leigh]

For sure many of us have considered that a time or two, I admit I did years ago but decided it just wasn't anything I really wanted and I enjoy my male side.
Now of course we see in the news today that Caitlyn Jenner is considering going back to Bruce.
It's not and easy life

[Alice Torn]

WOW! Caitlyn considering going back to Bruce. It IS a hard life,then.I better look and see if there is any truth to it. I think i had a legs and nylons and heels fetish quite young, still do, though, i love the silky, stretchy fabrics of dresses, skirts, tops, blouses, and lingerie, and wigs.. and heels. Yada yada.

[Teresa]

Dela,
I've checked your profile but you don't mention your age, I will say that most of us pass through the points made in your first paragraph. Now I've passed through the heavy investment in my male side, so it's gone full circle and it's time to catch up with Teresa's needs. I also passed through gender counselling , so I'm fairly sure I'm not TS but I still considered a separation and going full time. My commitments as a husband, father and now grandfather were too much to walk away from, what has surprised me though is the lustre has returned . I've finally got out the door to attend a social group, I love shopping to put outfits together , I love the openness with talking to other CDers and the interaction with SAs.
So don't think it's gone away Dela, whatever you choose to call it , it will return !

[PrivateXDresser]

ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGIST HERE: In my opinion, a transition would be permanent and therefore your bones would have to be crying out constantly for the change. It would be a deeply seeded compulsion, not a fetish, drawing you in a direction that you would simply have to go. A fetish is like the pink fog. It comes and goes. I believe you correctly categorized it as a fetish for you, or even more a lifestyle.

[Chelsea B]

Perhaps the wrong terminology is being used.
A Transvestic Fetishist (which I considered myself in my teens as I was cross dressing and coming into puberty) is one for whom dressing, or some component of it, is a sexual turn in. That is a loooong way from Transexualism, and the idea of transitioning.

[NicoleScott]

I don't know if I'm a transvestic fetishist or a fetishistic transvestite, or if there's a difference. Even when dressed, I identify as a guy. It's difficult for me to comprehend how fetishism could lead to transition. It seems to me, from my experience, that the objects of my fetishes that bring arousal are appealing to the guy I am. One considers transition as a response to a deeply feminine identity, a woman in a man's body in need of aligning sex and gender, mind and body......
But I know only one side of it.

[Taylor186]

In my teens the sexual component to dressing was high. In each decade that passed this component declined even though I still dressed just as much, or more. Today, in my 60s, I'd say the sexual component is almost non-existent but that still has not stopped me from enjoying the transformation experience.

[docrobbysherry]

i don't think anyone should judge your reasons, they are yours and yours alone to make.. do you feel they are wrong?

I was judging my own reasons. However, I'll let u judge for yourself. Do think becoming a female because you'd be that much miore turned on by yourself with female parts? I don't believe there's a liscensed doc in the US that would think that's a valid reason and neither do I now.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only FTV that has had that fantasy!

[NicoleScott]

Doc, yes, I have had similar fantasies, but I always was aware they were fantasies and always about dressing up. Never wanted to be nor wished I were a woman.
I remember a recurring fantasy I had in my late teens. I was in a car accident. Nothing serious but I did bump my head, again nothing serious. X-rays showed nothing (as Yogi Berra said). Except ------ when I woke up the next morning I asked my mom where my clothes are. In your closet. No, those are all boy's clothes. As the fantasy played out, all attempts to "fix" me (medical, psychological) failed, and I was allowed to live (dress) as a girl. My folks didn't like that I wore to much makeup, skirts too short, and heels too high, but allowed it so I didn't suffer from not being allowed. Of course, dressing that was always the purpose, the point of the fantasy. Of course I didn't really want it to happen. It was always a mind game, and it excited me. It was about the clothes and makeup, not being a girl.

[kimmy p]

I admit that I like stocking, high heels, corsets, and other objects that may be considered fetish. I like them on women, and I wish that I wasn't so old and fat that they looked like crap on me. Other than that. meh.

[Tracii G]

I see where you are coming from Sherry.

[NicoleScott]

Items aren't inherently fetish items or not. It's a person's response to their presence, image (photo), or image (thought).

[CCDTanya42]

Very interesting set of positions on this issue. For me dressing has always been and continues to be highly sexual. I have a strong attraction to particular articles of clothing, heels, hose, and silk fabrics. I like doing my makeup and looking/behaving as female as is possible given my looks. I have fantasies of being female while i am dressed, but they are typically fueled by my hypersexualized state while i am dressed. Sexual play (of various sorts) is always part of my dressing, and there is no way to separate it from my sexual urges. Fetishism? I think so.

[LelaK]

The broadest definition of fetish is a strong need or desire for something. I don't seem to have a strong need to crossdress, but a strong desire to do so. Although it's usually not very erotic to dress any more, it's still plenty enjoyable to me. I've never tried makeup or wigs, but I hope to soon. That might prove to feel erotic for a while, but feeling authentic is more what I hope for.

[Lacey New]

Dela, I can relate to you to a certain extent. I don't know that I ever considered transitioning because I guess along with being a woman there would be some expectation that a woman would want to be with a man. I have never had those feelings. However, have I often wanted to experience having a beautiful woman's body? Of course. And crossdressing plays to that fantasy even though I know it is not reality. As to the fetishtic experience, yes, I experienced that too and still do. Back in the day, simply putting on a pair of panties for even a few minutes was a hugely erotic experience. Now that I have my own panties, wearing them alone is just something that feels good. However I still get a kick out of dressing, it now requires a little more. So, panties have grown to more feminine underthings and outerwear. I also find that more varied experiences add to the spice. So, has the fetish lost its luster? Maybe not but it just takes more luster to get to the fetish - if that makes sense.

[Beverley Sims]

Was never a fetish with me, I had too many others trying to dress me up.

[Maria Blackwood]

My response is about the same after all these years. After a long day at work, when I come home and crossover, I still get a strong rush and release of tension. I wouldn't say it's an addiction, but, well, OK, it's an addiction. At least it's a harmless one with a positive effects.

[Gillian Gigs]

What's in a name? Once I wore the clothes to get my rocks off, did it evolve into a fetish, probably. It grew into more of an enjoyment of the fabric and its feel against the skin, is it still a fetish? Who cares anymore, it's a simple cheap pleasure in life which has more than its share of problems and difficulties in it.

Lacey Hew says, " Back in the day, simply putting on a pair of panties for even a few minutes was a hugely erotic experience. Now that I have my own panties, wearing them alone is just something that feels good. However I still get a kick out of dressing, it now requires a little more. So, panties have grown to more feminine underthings and outerwear. I also find that more varied experiences add to the spice. So, has the fetish lost its luster? Maybe not but it just takes more luster to get to the fetish - if that makes sense."

That about sums it up for me also, but I have learned where to draw the line, and I don't cross it.

[PaulaQ]

I think its fair to say that I could be accused of harboring transvestic fetishes.
Probably not.


I just was not given any feminine body or facial structure. Now I'm too deeply invested in the male side of my life, the complications would be more than I'm willing to face.
Getting warmer


So having given up the idea of ever considering transitioning, I think the fetish has lost some of its luster. Can anyone else relate?
In general, when the sexual stimulation of this goes away, it's a sign this is an identity thing, rather than a fetish thing.


I wouldn't say it's an addiction, but, well, OK, it's an addiction.
It's not an addiction. This is a part of you. For some of us, it is us.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Dela :hugs: , I totally enjoy having the best of both worlds...:daydreaming:...

[LilSissyStevie]

So having given up the idea of ever considering transitioning, I think the fetish has lost some of its luster. Can anyone else relate?

I can relate! There was a time when I believed that there some sort of inner woman that I was suppressing, that I had a feminine side, or something like that... however you want to express it. I could wile away the hours imagining myself as a female. It was kind of a letdown to realize I'm just a dude with a oddball emasculation fetish. Now the the best part of the party is over. I liken it to Christmas. Christmas was a lot more fun when I could believe in the plausibility of Santa Claus and flying reindeer and all that. It's still fun but it's lost most of it's magic.

[CONSUELO]

I find that when dressed I sometimes become very aroused by the clothing but at other times it is just a feeling of being right and being comfortable. So I like to think that my cross dressing is a deep need within me but that it also has a fetishistic component. I don't think I would like to transition but I do feel comfortable with being as feminine as possible during my everyday life.

[Marianne T]

I would love to look like a female fetish model in latex or leather.

Sadly I have an average middle aged man's body, and as many satin, leather and latex items that I have, even if I had a world class team of surgeons at my disposal, I will never look like I want to look like.

I dress up enjoying the slow ritual of lacing my corset, zipping my catsuit, buttoning my blouse, lacing my boots, or whatever else grabs my imagination that day and I fantasize being a young woman in the throes of sexual pleasure, I jack off, then I begin the ritual of putting it all back into the closet, feeling a little embarrassed.

[Jazzy Jaz]

There are certainly those who crossdress purely as a sexual fetish as well as those who are TS and of course every gender identity inbetween, however, I want to point out that it is totally possible to be TS AND have fetishes that include clothing. It's totally possible to be mixed gender AND have fetishes that include clothing. It is definately possible to get sexual excitement from dressing AND dress to alleviate gender dysphoria and express internal gender identity. It's not always "one or the other" though for many I'm sure it is. Its always pointed out here that gender and sexuality are separate (which I agree with) but fetishes "and fetish clothing" are a component of sexuality and at the same time clothing can be an expression of internal gender identity which means while some experience dressing as an outlet for one or the other, SOME experience dressing as an expression of gender identity AND can enjoy a fetish aspect of it.

I am one of these people. I am both bigender and bisexual, I am definately turned on by lingerie/fetish clothing and both enjoy it on ladies as well as enjoy wearing it to satisfy my sexual fantasies/desires of being a woman, being turned on by both imagined experience of being a woman with a man AND my imagined "physical" self as a sexy woman. At the same time, I certainly experience gender dysphoria (not enough to transition but surely enough to drive me bonkers on a steady basis). I sleep nude these days because boxers and pajama pants drive me nuts and my junk is uncomfortable and always getting in the way and not sitting right. I rarely wear panties anymore and I have always made my panties crotchless because they're just not comfortable otherwise. I often yearn for breasts and not just when I'm sexually turned on, and often I have body envy of women around me. Though I've never had a female body in this lifetime, I know that I would enjoy sex more as a female. In the same bag of wonders I call "my personal experience", I also can be very comfortable in my male body and often don't experience gender dysphoria. Though my internal 50/50 gender identity (personality) is fixed and definately not fluid, my physical gender dysphoria does seem to fluctuate throughout the day. Im not suicidal or suffocating in my male body and am ok with it but I yearn for and definately would prefer a female body, (confusing right)? But to me it makes perfect sense and while there's so much debate about and lack of intellectual understanding in regards to inbetweeners, I find myself smack dab in the middle of the spectrums in terms of gender identity, sexuality, as well as the space between fetish dressing and dressing as an expression of internal identity. Sometimes I wanna wear pvc and get wild and sometimes I wanna wear a nightgown or other female comfies with my nails done and watch Charmed, (or Xmen).

[KrisCDAZ]

I love and can relate to what Taylor186 said. when I was younger--both in my teens and later when I restarted dressing again in my thirties--it was totally a sexual thing: I dressed because it aroused me and I fantasized about being a woman sexually (oddly enough, in my thirties I started going with men, but never while dressed). In my fifties the arousal component was almost entirely gone: I dressed because I wanted to identify with the feminine part of my personality. I haven't spent a lot if time thinking about why that was so, but I think it was two things: first, as a man, I was unable to find a woman I really identified with, so I strove to become that woman myself; and second, I liked the feeling of being that woman. Now that I am in my sixties, I wish I could dress more and more fully as I did a few years ago, but my situation has changed; nevertheless, I love feeling like Kris whenever I can.

Kris

[wantstocrossdress]

I would love to look like a female fetish model in latex or leather.

Sadly I have an average middle aged man's body, and as many satin, leather and latex items that I have, even if I had a world class team of surgeons at my disposal, I will never look like I want to look like.

I dress up enjoying the slow ritual of lacing my corset, zipping my catsuit, buttoning my blouse, lacing my boots, or whatever else grabs my imagination that day and I fantasize being a young woman in the throes of sexual pleasure, I jack off, then I begin the ritual of putting it all back into the closet, feeling a little embarrassed.

same with me since day 1. when i pop, i quickly return to man mode no matter what and i feel ashamed of what im wearing.

[Laurie A]

same with me since day 1. when i pop, i quickly return to man mode no matter what and i feel ashamed of what im wearing.

that was a phase for me, when i was younger, before i was ready to admit to myself that there was nothing to be ashamed of

[Marianne T]

that was a phase for me, when i was younger, before i was ready to admit to myself that there was nothing to be ashamed of

I don't really care about what others think either, but I wish my wife felt the same way :-( I've considered divorce over the whole thing to find someone who can be more positive about it.

I tried crossdressing and makeup to be "realistic" en femme from head to toe, but that's a PITA, and more effort than I really need to put in.

Weirdly enough, I feel guilty about not being a "real" crossdresser. When I was active, I did learn about how diverse the CD/TS community is. IMO it's not really a spectrum, but a hodgepodge of groups that look kinda similar (drag queens, fetishists, CDs, TSs, performers, et al), but whose motives for wearing female clothing are really different from each other.

[Mykaa]

In general, when the sexual stimulation of this goes away, it's a sign this is an identity thing, rather than a fetish thing.


It's not an addiction. This is a part of you. For some of us, it is us.[/QUOTE]

So I have a question here, IM pretty sure this has moved past just being a fetish or an addiction, what makes you realize that? I accepted this in myself when I joined the forum, I decided Id wear whatever I liked that day and be ok with it, regardless of stimulation. My urges have mostly went away, Im happier, I dress nicer, I keep my appearance nice in general is way better than ever, I take care of myself, I even bought an iron yesterday! I used it on 1 of my nice shirts today.... Yes Ive kinda went a bit silly with new clothing and shoe purchases but its not driven by a compulsion or urge anymore, I buy things I want to go out in, I want to look nice, I buy practical things like pajama's, ya they are womens and satin, but I enjoy the comfort and I sleep better in them.
Is this a typical progression? I have quoted Paula, but Im open to others for this too. (not trying to derail as Ive had and have a fetish)

[Fiona123]

60 yrs old here. The sexual stimulation when I dress is mostly but not completely gone. Now it's a feeling of happiness, wholeness and relaxation. 🌺

[Piora]

same with me since day 1. when i pop, i quickly return to man mode no matter what and i feel ashamed of what im wearing.

It used to be years ago, when I dressed, it was strictly for a sexual rush, and this is precisely how I felt afterwards, too. I wanted to get out of my female things as quickly as possible, and return to 'male mode'.


I love and can relate to what Taylor186 said. when I was younger--both in my teens and later when I restarted dressing again in my thirties--it was totally a sexual thing: I dressed because it aroused me and I fantasized about being a woman sexually

In early years, I struggled with the fetish part of my crossdressing. At that time, I bought only erotic items, such as corsets, fishnet stockings, garter belts etc. Later, I moved forward, and the sexual urges became less and less. In recent years, I have moved completely away from that, and now I dress because I want to feel pretty, and I like how I look in the mirror. These days, it's "normal" women's things....clothing that most women would likely wear: regular panties, bras, slips, pantyhose, and dresses.


So I have a question here, IM pretty sure this has moved past just being a fetish or an addiction, what makes you realize that? I accepted this in myself when I joined the forum, I decided Id wear whatever I liked that day and be ok with it, regardless of stimulation. My urges have mostly went away, Im happier, I dress nicer, I keep my appearance nice in general is way better than ever, I take care of myself, I even bought an iron yesterday! I used it on 1 of my nice shirts today.... Yes Ive kinda went a bit silly with new clothing and shoe purchases but its not driven by a compulsion or urge anymore, I buy things I want to go out in, I want to look nice, I buy practical things like pajama's, ya they are womens and satin, but I enjoy the comfort and I sleep better in them.
Is this a typical progression? I have quoted Paula, but Im open to others for this too. (not trying to derail as Ive had and have a fetish)

It seems that so many of us are very similar. We've started off as fetishistic, and moved forward into doing it for the simple joy of the celebration of dressing. Now, when I dress and it's time to head to bed, I remove my female things with great reluctance, instead of having regrets and being ashamed. It's a liberating feeling! Mykaa, yes. I think it IS a typical progression. Most of us have gone down this same path over the years.


60 yrs old here. The sexual stimulation when I dress is mostly but not completely gone. Now it's a feeling of happiness, wholeness and relaxation. ��

Agree, Fiona. It's interesting how many of us have changed our perspective over the years. We could write each other's stories! I don't know if it's something to do with age (I'm 64) but I found that this site helped me with the change, as I read what others had written.

[docrobbysherry]

-------------------------------

Lacey Hew says, " Back in the day, simply putting on a pair of panties for even a few minutes was a hugely erotic experience. Now that I have my own panties, wearing them alone is just something that feels good. However I still get a kick out of dressing, it now requires a little more. So, panties have grown to more feminine underthings and outerwear. -------------------------------------

Judging by their popularity in posts here, it seems women's panties r a fetish for many. They r uncomfortable, ill fitting, and if u wear sexy, skimpy ones you'll likely suffer fall out! I only wear thongs and tite panties, backwards, to tuck. Otherwise, I think they're useless. No one can tell you're wearing them but u!:straightface:

If u say they aren't a fetish, considering how poorly they work on men, why r they so popular?:eek:

[reinasblack]

even with pants and dresses when i am padded clothing that's two small slips right on me.

hip padding for me is what makes a panty work for me.
it fits snug and not tight after hip pads are added.

all this dressing has a little fetishistism in it for me.

[Piora]

Judging by their popularity in posts here, it seems women's panties r a fetish for many. They r uncomfortable, ill fitting, and if u wear sexy, skimpy ones you'll likely suffer fall out! I only wear thongs and tite panties, backwards, to tuck. Otherwise, I think they're useless. No one can tell you're wearing them but u!:straightface:

If u say they aren't a fetish, considering how poorly they work on men, why r they so popular?:eek:

Doc, I have to disagree. For me, I don't find them a fetish at all. I have found good quality women's panties are easily the most comfortable underwear I've even had the pleasure to wear! Now, I'm talking about full women's briefs....not the sexy, skimpy ones. Besides, there are a lot of very feminine, lacy and frilly higher-waisted panties out there that are exceptionally comfortable. As long as they're well-made, and they're a good fit, the 'boys' stay where they are with no issues (I don't tuck) I never under-dress, otherwise I would wear them exclusively!