For those who identify as "just a CD" how does it feel to be a male ???

[mykell]

many folks identify as many different ways in life and here on our forum, to get the most genuine answer for the purpose of this question i feel i needed to narrow it down to those who identify as "just a CD" .......so for the ones who identify as "just a cd" how does it feel to be a man....
edit:
one last try:
to be fair i have edited this in post #41? their was confusion. here is the result....

if you dont identify as anything other than a CD,
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay

how do you feel as a man,
not the action of CDing
not how you relate to women
not how you feel persecuted by society
not how you think your supposed to feel
not how you feel like a women when you dress

how you feel as a man,

so yes now i changed the question.....and respectfully ask if this does not describe you please refrain....again no disrespect for not being all-inclusive, trying to use a dart, not a cannonball....

[JenniferMBlack]

Can you answer if you are bi cd but only identify as male?

[Jenniferathome]

Well Mikell, you know that describes me.

i don't know that I can describe being male any better than the women could describe being female. It's me. There is a sense of obligation I always carry. Obligation to provide for and take of my family but is that a "male" trait or just something I have come to choose?

Certainly there are plenty of men who don't feel this way. Just look at the child support a-holes who shirk their responsibility!

[mykell]

yes jen, i know, but it includes a host of many as your not a minority here, but i will argue the "Obligation to provide for and take of my family" is not a male trait, traits and feelings are different so i hope you give it more thought, its a very simple premise but a difficult task to achieve....

i asked myself this very question, so i hope that we can dig down past the "linear" thinking and get in touch with our feelings....

[Allisa]

What about Gender fluid persons?

[AllisonS]

It feels like I need to plan, get stuff done, take care of people, conserve resources, play hard, win, etc. By way of contrast, what my femme side excels at is living in the moment. I don't look at women the same as I used to. I used to fantasize about sex with a beautiful woman I might see walking down the street. That is not as strong as it was. Now when I see an attractive female, I'm mostly just admiring the beauty, as I would any beautiful thing in nature. I think how it feels to be male is (obviously) at least in part a function of hormones. At my age, I probably have half the T I did. I like not being driven by it so much.

[mykell]

i identify as third, fluid, queer, whatever the term du jour might be.....so i wanted to keep it simple KISS,
if anyone would like to get into the other intellectual aspects feel free to start another string.

[sara.rafaela]

I am just a crossdresser, to be male just feels normal and happy. I take pleasure in my work, my family, and my other pursuits. My other pursuits tend to be of a masculine nature, marathon running, triathlons, fishing, mountaineering. I do not know anything different, so it is hard to be more talkative about the subject. On being out dressed, I often run into people who comment on being out and being the "your true self". I can say that this is not necessarily true for me. There must be something there that makes me a bit different, but I am a man. My dressed self is something more like a movie persona that I create for myself. It is also a way of traveling to a new and different world. Imagine, instead of taking a plane to Paris or Tokyo, makeup, clothing, and an hour of work produces the same exotic voyage. You can see things from a completely different perspective and have people interact with you in a completely different way. It is not always all good, but the experiences are amazing. It is a role that I take a lot of pleasure in creating. I think that if I were really a woman, then going out would not have the exiting or exotic appeal for me. That would just be situation normal.

[Heather Chasen]

i identify as third, fluid, queer, whatever the term du jour might be.....so i wanted to keep it simple KISS,
if anyone would like to get into the other intellectual aspects feel free to start another string.

I realy cant say , yes I am male have been for over 60 years now , but what have I got to compare it with ? I only know what it feels like to be me , I dont know what it feels like to be anything else you may as well ask what it feels like to be the queen of England . How in the world can anyone know
I know what its like to be me , and I know how I feel when i'm dressed as Heather but I dont know what it feels like to be you.

[Tina81]

The best part about crossdressing is that I can always go back to my male mode although I do see a softer or more feminine side to my personality.

There's a Time article on "What Trans Men See That Women Don't" that demonstrates cultural sexism is very real when you've lived on both sides of the coin. It is clearly a man's world and it was interesting to read the perspectives and hear about their experiences living in the world as a man. As I read about their experiences, I realize I lack the machismo of being a man's man and crossdressing is part of my personality (more caring, empathetic, and less aggressive towards women).

It would be interesting to hear from those that transitioned from MtF to hear about their experiences in living as a female in a man's world, i.e. hearing what women talk about when no man is around.

Anyway, the time I do dress just feels naturally, exciting but in a comforting way. Like Sara said, it's like an exotic travel experience. I imagine for other non-CD males wearing women's attire, it would feel awkward or uncomfortable and weird.

[ClosetED]

These threads often come down to semantics.
So I identify as just a CD.
You ask how does it feel to be "male" - you don't want an answer "male-ish" but one that avoids male/masculine/manly
So we are brought up in various societies to know what is expected of us by how the people around us see us. If a genetic male has testicular feminization (body does not recognize testosterone) and is raised as typical female, then would it be fair to ask this genetic male how it feels to be male?
I think you are asking what societal expectations do crossdressers see as "male" that they hope to temporarily displace by dressing.
So some answers may be the things labeled as macho - not showing feelings, crying, showing empathy, doing things that may cause injury or damage clothing, taking on responsibility for family needs of financial but not housecleaning or cooking needs. Not being able to talk about style, beauty or to express a wider range of clothing materials and colors to make you feel good about yourself. To have to lead and not just follow - to have to make tougher decisions.
I am not saying women do not do these things, but that males may take on more of them and not all males want it without a break. Some males may break from these by "playing with their toys"-sports, boats, cars, trucks or by changing their view of the world thru mind altering substances - alcohol, prescription or non-prescription drugs, etc.
"Just a CDer" is not hoping to attract a male for sex, and does not feel that they need to permanently have the world see them and treat them as "female" (the imagined set of interactions the male thinks the female is exposed to but does not really know). And those change based on where you live - USA vs Iran vs Sweden vs China.
Hoped I helped,
Hugs, Ellen

[Dana44]

I am gender fluid and Male is a big part of my life and now the female part of me is taking hold. But in male mode, I enjoy it and I find drinking beer with the males at the country club is a good male pastime and talk. But when I with male and females I always seem to be in the female camps and have to consciously try to go to the males but their talk i pretty run of the mill and I always get back to the girls. But being a male is alright and being a female is alright, seems natural to me.

[Chelsea B]

Interesting question for me. I am solidly 'male' and enjoy being one. I have no desire to be a woman, just feel like one now and then. But in fact, I have always related well to women. I love women and always have, and will be more likely to hang with the girls at social events. I find that women relate to that softer, female empathetic side of me, and this very much includes my wife......she loves my softer side.
The experience of relating this way to women, is what it is because I am a man, not in spite of it, and I enjoy the appreciation that comes my way as a result.

[Debra Russell]

To me being male is being relied on, in charge, getting things done (or not) putting the toilet seat down ect. -- when I am in femm mode it's peaceful, as my mind shuts most of the male world away - I'am a crossdresser and need to be both......................Debra

[Nataliebabe]

I love to CD, BUT, I am also a hard working husband and father and try as much as possible to fill those roles traditionally. Without going into much detail, with a lot of what is going on in the world today, I aint easy being me in 2016. I am an outdoorsman and also very sports minded. I love women. I love to look at women. I especially love drunk women! :) I hunt and fish, burp and fart and drink too much a time or two when with the boys. I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT. But then, when it comes to my CD side, I like that too. ;)

[mykell]

so i thought i asked a pretty straight forward question. how do you feel as male, so how do you feel male, i realize its a cd site and we are at varied paths on our CD journey, what i am looking for is the "man in a dress" like to do it. never feel like a different person when you dress, dont feel i share the soul of a women, dont care about sexual feelings when you dress, just trying to pin point if you identify as male CD how do you feel male.

1. if you identify as just a man in a dress CD.
2. not trans, not fluid, not bi, not gay. threads on that already.
3. a CD male not what you do while you CD.
4. not how you can relate to women.
5. not what you do as a male.
6. no semantics, no what ifs, your personal feeling of how you feel male, not societies.
7. not how you feel as feminine or female.

[sara.rafaela]

I do not like the man in a dress term. Yes, I am a crossdresser, and do not want to transition to be a woman, but I really do make an effort to present myself as a woman, and can comfortably go to most places dressed. To me, man in a dress implies to me someone who throws on a dress with beard shadow, horrible make up, etc.

[ClosetED]

I understand your frustration, but we live in our own minds and you are asking how we feel "male", but "male" is not an internal term. The mind just knows "I". "Male" is how we are taught to think of ourselves in society.
Are you trying to get a collection of internal thoughts that are "male"? But not actions nor societal expectations that are "male"?

Can you give examples of what descriptions you think might fit "feel like a male"?
Ellen

[Rachael Leigh]

While I am primarily a CD I have no intention of going beyond that I do consider myself trans in that I have female side when I'm dressed and sometimes even when not.
To be male to me is mostly in my body parts more than anything and yes even though when I'm dressed I know I'm male I'm sure I don't fool many people when out but for me it is and expression of a part of me that I doubt will go away

[Sallee]

I am a cross dresser. I dress when time allows which isn't has often as I would like, but when I have had extended periods of time to cd I find that I get bored with it after a few days. So to answer your question. I think feelings are feelings whether M or F and essentially we are all the same. Eat, drink, rest, work enjoy life to the best of our ability and try to keep ourselves out of trouble At least not get caught..
My motto is have a good time and do no harm to others.
PS I'll use the restroom that my clothing dictates LOL

[lisa_vin]

I am a male with a strong "feminine" side and I am just fine with that. The cd'ing helps to satisfy that side and make me feel complete. I can't say that I never wished to be a girl for a while or thought that things might have been better had I been born a girl but such is the stuff of fantasies and dreams! However, the question was, "How does it feel to be male?" The answer is, at least for right now, I feel like hell!!! I have very low T (total T of just 33) and I feel like the crabby, cranky, pissy and achy old man named Crankshaft from the cartoon strip. I've been fighting with the insurance company for almost a month and a half to get the cost of a bottle of testosterone covered by them so I can re-start my injections. They've been denying me because, as I recently found out, I didn't have a recent enough testosterone reading that they could go by. So, I had blood taken last week and it came back at a level of 33 (which is almost nothing). It has even destroyed my desire to cd as I find I just don't give a damn about anything right now. (A better description of how I feel would be "Hammered Donkey S*@T!!!)

[Crissy Kay]

I feel just fine as a guy. I am part time for a good reason. I enjoy spending most of my time as a guy.

[Teresa]

Mikell,
I can't see why you need to ask the question, if I were just male I wouldn't be a Cder, surely that applies to most of us. Something in us has a need to CD in various guises, that need has to have a female connection.
Also it's difficult to define just a cross dresser, it's almost said in lowly terms as if we need to aspire to something better , like Sara I try to avoid the man in a dress in looks or the term.

Lisa,
You can have some of my T , I appear to have an excess most of the time , what you say about a low level makes interesting reading, I've often wondered what the outcome could be.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Mikell,
As a male, who is a CD, I guess I just feel like me.
Put me in a dress, heels, wig, and makeup... I'm still me!
There's no split personality issues going on within my head!

Is being male, female, or any other of the gender variance we see
here, something that can be "felt"?

Now ask how I feel while trying to shave my back!
Geeezzz! What a PITA!
But hey! That's just another thing that makes "me", me.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Tina_gm]

This reverse question has often been asked of women, "how does it feel to be a woman?" and of course, none of them can really come up with a solid answer. They just are, it just is. And likewise for us as our born gender. What makes someone of gender variance even ponder this question is the fish out of water or human in water scenario. Describe what it feels like to breath, either a fish or a human. You don't think about it. There is no actual feeling about it, it just is. But take a fish out of water or put a human in water and then breath.... then you suddenly get a whole new perspective to say the least.

Although there are some CDers who have zero connection other than a strange liking to feminine clothing and not much else, many of us do fall within the "other" category. We don't really know what it feels like to be a fish breathing through its gills. But we have a strange affection for wanting to live in the water, and wish we had the ability to breath through gills.

We see the posts about how "I feel so girly walking around in heels or wearing a skirt" and etc etc etc. Yeah, YOU do, but someone who does it because they were dared to, or paid to or whatever, doesn't. It is what makes us reach for the heels in the 1st place is what I am intrigued about.

[carhill2mn]

I feel fine as a man. I just think that presenting as a woman is more fun.

[Jenniferathome]

so i thought i asked a pretty straight forward question. how do you feel as male,...
No, you asked:how does it feel to be a male ???
BIG difference. Now, you bash those who do not give the answers you want. What answer are you expecting. Just provide that and ask who identifies with it and be done.

[heatherdress]

so i thought i asked a pretty straight forward question. how do you feel as male, so how do you feel male, i realize its a cd site and we are at varied paths on our CD journey, what i am looking for is the "man in a dress" like to do it. never feel like a different person when you dress, dont feel i share the soul of a women, dont care about sexual feelings when you dress, just trying to pin point if you identify as male CD how do you feel male.

1. if you identify as just a man in a dress CD.
2. not trans, not fluid, not bi, not gay. threads on that already.
3. a CD male not what you do while you CD.
4. not how you can relate to women.
5. not what you do as a male.
6. no semantics, no what ifs, your personal feeling of how you feel male, not societies.
7. not how you feel as feminine or female.

You started off with a different question for CDs - "What does it feel like to be a male?" - which probably has an infinite number of answers. Then you make a weird assertion that the "Obligation to provide for and take of my family" is not a male trait." Then you added confusion by identifying as "third, fluid, queer, whatever the term du jour". And then changed the thread entirely by describing a search for "the 'man in a dress' who likes to do it. never feel like a different person when you dress, don't feel i share the soul of a women, dont care about sexual feelings when you dress, just trying to pin point if you identify as male CD how do you feel male".

Sorry, but I don't get it, Mikell. This is more than confusing and our responses reflect the confusion.

It does seem like you are looking for a discrete population of crossdressing people who you seem to put in a simple, negatively-described box (don't take care of family, no feelings, no sexual feelings) - and you want them to describe their feelings - as a male? Why? And do you think anyone fits in that small, miserable box - and wants to share what minimal feelings you seem to think they have?

[Judy-Somthing]

Mikell,
Can you rephrase your question.
Do you mean if you feel your a male and have no feelings or desire to be a woman then what dose it feel like to be a male dressed as a woman?

[Teresa]

Judy,
If you want a simple answer to that it would be stupid !
As I said in my previous reply if I were just a man I wouldn't be a CDer, so it has to be linked to female feelings for us to do it even if it's sexual.
I did answer some time ago that I don't see the World through totally male eyes, my thoughts have to be affected to some degree by my female trait so to answer Mikell's question is impossible for me and probably many others.

[Judy-Somthing]

Teresa,

Don't misunderstand me I'm just asking what does Mikell mean by (Just a CDer)

[Georgina]

I dress because I love the clothes and, because of this, I don't feel female, even if I look so. I am happy to be male as I get a better feeling from wearing the clothes than a woman does. I only have one personality and nobody comes out to play when I dress. I don't mind being called he as I think a man should be able to wear what he wishes.

[Teresa]

Judy,
Ive PMd you to explain what I meant, it was not a personal attack just a comment my wife would give me because she thinks I would look stupid as a man in a dress .

[Alice Torn]

Being an old bachelor, that never got a chance to have a steady girlfriend, or SO, or wife, and being very hard working poor all my life, I can say, now, it is lonely, lots of sorrow, grief, feeling disenfranchised, like a loner and loser, despite working very hard on hard physical jobs. not wanted or needed. 62, now. Thirty yrs ago, I still had lots of hope, and was new in 12 step adult children recovery, was 2000 miles form my toxic family of origin, playing lots of basketball, and softball, hiking, fishing. Had not dressed since age 14, actually dated some, mainly women almost old enough to by my mothers, though. The toxic family of origin, kept having crises, and i kept having to worry about them, then, in 1997, my mom got hurt, had to move back here. Moved back out west, and in 2009, got a call that my older twin brothers were busted on felony charges. Was forced to move back here to care for my now extremely difficult 95 yo dad, who always resented me. I had restarted dressing in 2005. My life as a man is very sad, feeling more hopeless, as mind and body are aging fast from stress of caring for my resentful father, and dealing with my older twin brothers who also resented me my whole life, and dealing with my toxic older sister, who hates males, and has severe emotional , and physical problems, is in emotional incest with me and my dad. If i had ever come out as Alice to any of them, it would be hell to the nth degree for me here. Being a male to me, has been mostly , painful and sad, lonely. Sadly, my own father and brothers have been jealous of me all my life, in spite of my sorrowful life. I see Ggs socializing so easily, hugging so easily, smiling so easily, and enjoying families, children. Though, part of me would have liked to become one, i was always poor, and in a church that though, gave hope for the future life, dismissed Cdin and Tg , TS, as perversions. But, i never could live up to be what women in church, or elsewhere were looking for: too poor, lacked confidence, had no positive family, too much sadness. How it feels to be male CD? Escaping the prison of being a loner, poor man, with no SO, and enjoying the sense of being a lovely lady for several hours, or a day.

[Charlessa]

I love being a male. I have no desire whatsoever to become a lady. now if I could snap my fingers and be a pretty woman I'd do it. but that's fantasy, so I am perfectly fine as a man

[becky77]

Judy,
As I said in my previous reply if I were just a man I wouldn't be a CDer, so it has to be linked to female feelings for us to do it even if it's sexual.


That's simply not true.
Enjoying wearing clothes of the opposite sex or liking feminine things doesn't mean there has to be a female identity??
Be careful you don't wander into a sexist mentally, attributing feelings via gender. There lies a danger of looking for reasons because deep down it's hard to admit failings.
Eg If a man likes frilly clothes and soft materials he doesn't have to compartmentalize it to a 'Female side' to avoid accepting it harms the 'male side'.
So what if a man likes frills, pink and soft fabrics? He can still be strong and masculine. By denying it can be a masculine trait buys into the gender stereotypes which in turn further marginalises Trans people.

This site has a lot more of those in the middle but the vast majority of CDers are men that get enjoyment out of wearing female stuff or feeling sexy. They are very much men but men with either a fetish or interest.
Is it any different to the people that regularly go to Comic type gatherings in costume.
We don't say "Well he regularly enjoys going as Chewbacka, he MUST have Wookie feelings!"
Er no he just really likes Chewbacka.

I believe Mikell's question is aimed at this group so if you don't fit that category please respectfully don't respond.
There is so many threads discussing dysphoria and levels of female identity what's so wrong with a thread speaking to those that don't have those issues?

It's an interesting question even if it was worded a little confusing.

Perhaps a question like:
For those of you who Crossdress and don't feel they want to be a woman or have female identity issues, how does CDing impact on your sense of Masculinity and do you still see yourself as a typical man?

[Sandyhappygirl]

Mikell.

I have read your OP and your later 'clarification' of what you were asking several times and I still have no idea what you mean. Jennifer's earlier comment is valid.

[sometimes_miss]

How does it feel to be male? While I may come back to update this, in brief, it's a feeling of responsibility. From a very early age, whenever dad left, I was told that I was the 'man of the house', and I was to take care of my mother and sister; it was suddenly my responsibility to make sure the doors were closed and locked, the lights weren't left on, that there was coal in the boiler. Nevermind that I was only a few years old; this responsibility was thrust on my shoulders. As I grew up, the responsibility for everything was always assumed to be mine. Everything was assumed to be my fault unless proven otherwise. As a young kid, that's a hard life to live up to. We are also responsible for ourselves; we are expected to stand up for ourselves, and be willing and able to fight to the death for our honor, even as a child. We are expected to know what is right, and what is wrong, from early childhood as well; ignorance is never an excuse for a male. As we get older, it doesn't change. When we date, we're expected to know the formalities, know what to do, know where to go, what places are appropriate and acceptable, we're expected to automatically know how to dance, automatically know everything about sex, and we're responsible for the success of it all going well. We're responsible for the safety, entertainment, and protection of our date, and that will continue in marriage. As adults, we are responsible for the maintenance and safety of the home and our family. We are responsible to be providers; while women MAY work while married, if the family falls into financial ruin, it is assumed to be our fault, our responsibility. If our girlfriends or wives are unhappy, it is assumed to be our fault. Even when they cheat on us, they blame us for not being sensitive enough to their emotional needs, again, it's our responsibility. If we don't earn enough, we're lazy. If we spend too much time at work earning, we're not considered spending enough time with her and the kids. In divorce, we are also held responsible for the financial support of everyone involved, whether we ever see them or not. To be a male is to be in a no-win situation in many parts of our lives.
So in brief, to be a male is to be responsible. For everything.

[Lacey New]

I feel like me. A relatively ordinary hard working, guy that does his best to take care of his family and those things that support his family's lifestyle. (i.e house, vehicles, education etc.) Not a perfect human being by a long shot but on balance, better than many. I just happen to have this quirky little pastime involving women's clothing. What more do you want?

[mykell]

wow, so ive got sum "splainin" to do,

OK to be honest i saw that their was confusion after some who wanted to to post which i had endorsed and then retracted in a very early reply. #2 i believe and then #5

that prompted my reply for post #7, in post #9 heather said:

I know what its like to be me , and I know how I feel when i'm dressed as Heather but I dont know what it feels like to be you.

which prompted my attempt to clarify what i was looking for, it was heathers 1st post here, obviously she may not be aware of all the terms and nomenclatures of the site so now their is that.

in between members referred to semantics and articles, i was looking for each members own personal feelings of what it feels to be a man, a male, not how one feels as a cd, not how one may relate to women, just your personal identity of how you feel as a male.


then jennifer states

No, you asked:how does it feel to be a male ???
BIG difference. Now, you bash those who do not give the answers you want. What answer are you expecting. Just provide that and ask who identifies with it and be done.
my original question still stands, as i explained i was trying to give more clarity to the original inquiry, bashing ?? apologies if anyone is offended by my inquisitive question or lack of writing skill, i mean no implication of disrespect to anyone, just following thru with a previous thread asked in another section......this is not something i can answer for anyone, its a personal feeling......for me to do so would be pretty presumptuous of me.

but jen i do think its unfair for you to pull 6 or seven words from my post #16 and compare it to part of my original post, of coarse it will have a different meaning. their was a whole paragraph and list of items of explanation.



You started off with a different question for CDs - "What does it feel like to be a male?" - which probably has an infinite number of answers. Then you make a weird assertion that the "Obligation to provide for and take of my family" is not a male trait." Then you added confusion by identifying as "third, fluid, queer, whatever the term du jour". And then changed the thread entirely by describing a search for "the 'man in a dress' who likes to do it. never feel like a different person when you dress, don't feel i share the soul of a women, dont care about sexual feelings when you dress, just trying to pin point if you identify as male CD how do you feel male".

Sorry, but I don't get it, Mikell. This is more than confusing and our responses reflect the confusion.

It does seem like you are looking for a discrete population of crossdressing people who you seem to put in a simple, negatively-described box (don't take care of family, no feelings, no sexual feelings) - and you want them to describe their feelings - as a male? Why? And do you think anyone fits in that small, miserable box - and wants to share what minimal feelings you seem to think they have?

heather again my apologies, sorry that it confussed anyone, this question of coarse is to only CDs, i tried to clarify and make rules, how we all identify is a personal choice, i make no assumptions why or how folks come to that decision.

i dont know why you find my assertion weird, "Obligation to provide for and take care of my family" i assumed that care was missing from the original quote by jen, this is absolutly not just a male trait, are you saying that women shirk this obligation ?

by sharing how i identify was to clarify why i wanted only folks who identify as "just a cd" , then went on to use terms that others here have used to describe themselves, those who self identify as "man in a dress", "never feel like a different person when they dress", if they have sexual feelings when dressed i didnt think it mattered if they identified as "just a cd".

yes i was looking for a segregated population of the CD class, and i dont think i condemned, ridiculed, or judged them in any way, "dont take care of family, no feelings"?? this is all about feelings that i want folks to share, that i dont feel is right for me to make for anyone, i think your making some unfair assumptions in what you think about me and the question.


Mikell,
Can you rephrase your question.
Do you mean if you feel your a male and have no feelings or desire to be a woman then what dose it feel like to be a male dressed as a woman?

im sorry i didnt want to make another attempt at defining this, to be honest buy the time you posted i had already asked a mod to close or delete this topic, i saw that i had taken my eye off the road and was guilty of distracted posting and wanted to cut my losses and maybe revisit this at another time. i thought three strikes and im out.


hi becky, i thought it was going to be interesting too.....but its ?????

one last try:

if you dont identify as anything other than a CD,
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay

how do you feel as a man,
not the action of CDing
not how you relate to women
not how you feel persecuted by society
not how you think your supposed to feel
not how you feel like a women when you dress

how you feel as a man,

so yes now i changed the question.....and respectfully ask if this does not describe you please refrain....again no disrespect for not being all-inclusive, trying to use a dart, not a cannonball....

[Mollyanne]

I started out as a cd'er, went through my life thinking this and for the last 15 years of my life I DON'T IDENTIFY AS MALE, I MUCH PREFER FEMALE AND RESPOND IN THAT FASHION.

Molly

[Jaylyn]

This is the term I really go by... Just a crossdresser... For some reason when I feel I need to relax or get away from stress and the real job of being the grown up male in my family I dress up. I have always felt comfort in the feeling of smooth clothing. It feels great to be dressed in silky under garments and for some crazy reason I just take the dressing to the full limit of makeup and those terrible walking shoes called high heels. Fully dressed takes my mind away from the stress that a dad has of supporting a family. I have found I enjoy the comforting clothes and being someone else for a while. I am not out and about when dressed to the top, thus I can sit in my house and relax just pretending I'm being someone else. Not feeling I have to pass makes the dressing fun. I can get as exotic, sexy, or trashy as I want. I guess its role playing to relieve the responsibility of making sure everything goes good for the family. I still hunt, fish, weld, drive a tractor, work cattle, and do all manly the things that my dad taught me. Mom I guess taught me the softness of being female. Her clothing was the old style silky slips, girdles, hose and the joy of putting on makeup.
I love being just a crossdresser and I love my cross dressing time. I also love my manly time, and plus being retired I really enjoy the best of both worlds.

[Sissy_Michelle]

Mikell,

Cannon balls work better than darts. They just don't say "ouch" when you throw them.

"...How does it feel to be male ???"

Wow what a unique question... After dabbling into the "CD" lifestyle and in that there are millions of different definitions of this I can only relate how I feel. Because I don't fully dress and only underdress because of a thousand different reasons. Mainly because of the fact that I am not out yet. And a nine year old man child. I have to be the Alpha Male most of the time. However when I do get my chances to dress or underdress I try to act as feminine as I can. Now this is only from observance, or what I perceive as feminine. I hope it is close, though I am sure that I am not. When I take off those clothes and put them away or in the dirty clothes hamper. I feel as if a part of me is being put on the shelf. Watching me as I put on other drab clothing... Sometimes. Most of the time I just change clothes, I am always "male" I was born a male worked in a mostly dominated male job for 24 years. Since I have never been a female I honestly cannot answer to give a contrast.

The closest I can come to an answer is. "I feel like me."

@--}-----
Michelle

[ClosetED]

I am
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay

I feel I exist, same as any other human labeled man or woman. I have things I wish to accomplish and I like to make others happy.
I am proud of what I have accomplished.
I assume other humans wish to do the same.
At times I feel sad, at times, happy.

A list of words associated with feelings is at http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html
I feel them at times. I think all humans feel these things.
Are you trying to ask if, as a human labeled man, that I feel certain ones stronger than a human labeled woman? How would I know, if I must apply "not how you think your supposed to feel"?

I enjoy deep thoughts, Mikell, and not trying to disrupt the thread as I do like to help others, but I am not sure what kinds of answers will actually answer your intended question.
Ellen

[mykell]

just be yourselves....its not a test....


lj60OAh7O5U

[Alice Torn]

Well said SM. There are seldom addressed hazards to being born male. No wonder most die younger. But, in my case, my selfish, immature, anti social father is still going, still making his sons life miserable, as 95. My sister was spoiled, but i was emotionally abandoned by my dad. The agony of being a loner loser, poor man, stuck caring for his toxic dad has brought me on the brink of suicide a number of times.

[lisa_vin]

Hi Teresa!

Thanks! If only getting more "T" was that easy. Yeah, I'm suffering the same way a women with low "E" would be suffering, hot flashes and all!

[Joyce Swindell]

I like being a man. The strength, the mechanical abilities and manliness of being me is something that my wife and I both enjoy. I like building things and doing "manly" things and if I were wearing a dress or other female items it distracts me from my goals for whatever I might be trying to accomplish. I have done those sort of things in the past and this is how it turned out. So I do female things as Joyce and rarely manly things as Joyce. Not to say some manly things may pop out by accident or visa-versa occasionally....I guess you'll have that. lol

[AmberCDinNC]

Jenniferathome--I saw this post and was intrigued. I was going to jump in and give my two cents, but you pretty much summed it up!

I really think that I enjoy CDing to the extent that I do because it allows me to shift my way of thinking--albeit for a short period of time--but it's enough :-) I know it's the 21st century, but I feel the weight of all of my obligations every second of every day; it's just who I am and who I was raised to be.

[BillieAnneJean]

I feel great as a man. I am happier because I am a man by choice. And that choice only came to be about 3 1/2 years ago when I discovered crossdressing. Now I get to choose and once a week or so I get dolled up and have some FUN. Then I choose to return to my guy life. Yes I could be enfemme more. I could even transition. But I prefer to be a guy with the benefit of experiencing the world enfemme a small, by choice, part of the time.
So because of CDing I am happier as a guy. That and I lost 40lbs, shaved off a full beard, shaved off some ugly body hair, and I get to be with my beloved SO too!

[JamieGdukes]

Primal...

[NewBrendaLee]

At times I hate being a male ,I love my female side

[Raychel]

if you dont identify as anything other than a CD,
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay

First of all I feel that I am just a CD, No other terms fit me at all.

how you feel as a man?

Tough question, Never really felt comfortable being a guy. So how does it feel.
It feels like an act, not the true me. just a part in the play that I got stuck doing. :doh:
I never was into the guy things, No sports, no big guy activities for me.

[Mykaa]

I feel like me, I dont know any other feeling, Im not gay, Im alone/ single have been most of my adult life. I am a father/ not allowed to be a Dad by the Mother, she hates me for being a cross dresser, I have good days and bad just like anyone. I work hard, I do guy things like cars and enjoy the social aspects of that, street racing/ drag racing, car cruises although Im poor and limited to my activities, Im new to any public aspect of this CD side of me, im making new friends or trying to at least. Lately Ive been wrestling with just where I fit into this "spectrum" I went to Trans Gender public group recently, went away rather disappointed with the experience, the group is for Transitioning women, I dont take hormones and am not interested in doing so, (1 of the main conversation topics, that and the group leader seemed most interested in talking about herself) Ive been dressing androgynous in public for some years. I am me, I dont know anything else.

[lisa_vin]

Except for my current bout of ultra low "T" (I FINALLY got the testosterone prescription approved and refilled today and have given myself the first injection on the road back to feeling better), it usually feels pretty dang good to be male. I like most "male" activities very much (sports, cars, super-hero/sci-fi/fantasy/action movies, etc.) The cd'ing/underdressing part is simply a quirk or characteristic of who I am and what constitutes the "WHOLE" me. It's almost like being able to re-install that rib that the Bible says God took from Adam to create Eve.......I'm able to re-connect with my "Eve" side and feel whole again........there's no other way to explain it. I feel "different" but very good while cd'ing. But, I don't feel "female" or even "feminine" since I am and always will be biologically male and really, truly can't feel those things fully without actually being biologically female. HRT and surgery can only do so much.

[PattyT]

I have really pondered this question. Hell on Heels seems to have summed up my position rather well:

As a male, who is a CD, I guess I just feel like me.
Put me in a dress, heels, wig, and makeup... I'm still me!
There's no split personality issues going on within my head!"

I'm not sure what it means to feel like a female. I have a full range of male interests and few if any interests normally identified for females. Hence I cannot say that I feel like a female when out en femme. Occasonally it seems odd to me to be out en femme, yet at the same time I would not, or could not, change this situation. It is too natural, too right somehow. I guess the gender issue just dosn't pertain to me, as I cannot grasp it. I'm quite happy with my gender and being a CD. Judging from the numerous posts on this I do see it as really serious issue for some people but not for me. Take away my CD interest and I would be just like any other guy. I don't know what difference adding in the CD side of me really makes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I totally have the best of both worlds, And I surely can handle lf that,.

[Natasha_Lovegood]

I'm bisexual and I love crossdressing, but I don't want to be a girl. I just do it because sometimes I like to be feminine, just that.

[phili]

I've centered around being frankly 'a man in a dress', and that the choice of a dress/type of dress communicates my belief that men can and should share the fun and value [and hassles] of dresses with women. Wearing a dress communicates the obvious corollary that we can also share the fun and value and hassles of feminine feelings and behavior as well.

I am confident that many men and women would just as soon be free to mix and match clothing and behavior, and not to have to be consistent. It is challenging, since it opposes the accepted norm that it is OK/ necessary to police male/masculine and female/feminine norms. It isn't ok/necessary, just makes it convenient for people to avoid having to adjust every minute to someone else's sense of identity. Standing up for the value of being flexible allows a lot of useful freedom for a lot of men and women, and will make a much more humane society, and liberate a lot of new energy in relationships.

Time to move on!

BTW if anyone is in the SF Bay Area and agrees with me -PM me and let's work up a social consciousness raising event!

[Martha G]

I like being a male. If I would want to be a woman I would dress as one all of the time.

However I thoroughly enjoy dressing as a woman and acting as one. I enjoy my feminine alter ego. But do like to go back to my original self.

[Piora]

I'm happy being a man. However, I have a few feminine qualities. I also find that I enjoy having conversation with women, more so than men. I identify with more things geared to women, than men. However, I am NOT an effeminate man....just a regular guy. And yet, when I wear my female clothing, I tend to adopt a female attitude, and I walk, sit and FEEL like a woman at that point.

[Stephj]

I agree with Piora I am just a guy I am only a underdresser but I get along better with females than males always have love riding my Harley but I am a lone wolf and a homebody

[Dawn cd]

I believe most crossdressers have a degree of gender dysphoria, but it's not enough to push us into transition. Dressing by itself satisfies the itch—and for me that doesn't include dresses. Just tops, jeans, shorts, underthings, plus a little makeup, a little scent, and a woman's shoulder bag. I am happily a man, a married man, but a femmey man. Where does that place me in the continuum? I don't know and don't care.

[Fiona123]

I am outwardly as male as they come. I think, though, l would rather be female.

[Diversity]

I feel great as a man, and in bliss when crossdressed. I love both aspects of my being, but as I get older, I find the femme side is becoming stronger.
I will continue to enjoy my spiritual journey and let it take me where it will.
Di

[jacques]

I am just me, you are just you; who needs labels? just be!
luv J

[mykell]

so first off thanks for all who responded, the question seems to have faded so i will share my"self",

i put some rules in so we wouldnt tread on some other open threads, one being "gender fluid"....it is why i wanted to exclude responses from those who self describe as fluid, trans ect. i also have another thread in another section "how does it feel to be a women" went much smoother than the confusion that occurred here, no one took the term as a personal attack but we have so many terms to describe ourselves. maybe there is some kind of hierarchy ? what i think stood out the most is that folks dont read or just dont care to follow rules and those who identify as men cant get in touch with theyre feelings. i had some who identified as female respond, not what i asked for, there were some fluid folks who responded ? some who liked to feel feminine ?


I understand your frustration, but we live in our own minds and you are asking how we feel "male", but "male" is not an internal term. The mind just knows "I". "Male" is how we are taught to think of ourselves in society.
Are you trying to get a collection of internal thoughts that are "male"? But not actions nor societal expectations that are "male"?

Can you give examples of what descriptions you think might fit "feel like a male"?
Ellen

below is a link from another thread, you will find my answer there......but you summed it up quite well...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?239418-Defining-Gender-Fluid&highlight=gender+fluid


....................
Enjoying wearing clothes of the opposite sex or liking feminine things doesn't mean there has to be a female identity??
Be careful you don't wander into a sexist mentally, attributing feelings via gender. There lies a danger of looking for reasons because deep down it's hard to admit failings.
Eg If a man likes frilly clothes and soft materials he doesn't have to compartmentalize it to a 'Female side' to avoid accepting it harms the 'male side'.
So what if a man likes frills, pink and soft fabrics? He can still be strong and masculine. By denying it can be a masculine trait buys into the gender stereotypes which in turn further marginalizes Trans people.

This site has a lot more of those in the middle but the vast majority of CDers are men that get enjoyment out of wearing female stuff or feeling sexy. They are very much men but men with either a fetish or interest.
Is it any different to the people that regularly go to Comic type gatherings in costume.
We don't say "Well he regularly enjoys going as Chewbacka, he MUST have Wookie feelings!"
Er no he just really likes Chewbacka.

I believe Mikell's question is aimed at this group so if you don't fit that category please respectfully don't respond.
There is so many threads discussing dysphoria and levels of female identity what's so wrong with a thread speaking to those that don't have those issues?

It's an interesting question even if it was worded a little confusing.

Perhaps a question like:
For those of you who Crossdress and don't feel they want to be a woman or have female identity issues, how does CDing impact on your sense of Masculinity and do you still see yourself as a typical man?

thank you, you get it, i did however not want to know the impact of CDing to be questioned, just how it felt to be a man, male feelings.

we did however get lots of what becky described, enjoying the time en-femme, feeling feminine.

my premise was pure, nothing nefarious, this was asked of myself in another thread, it took a few PMs and responses to that thread but i felt i left what was my most personal response and reflection of myself on the table in that thread.....

this was not something that one could answer for you....it was something that is in you....its deep.....its something that is hard to share with folks....its a venerability. what man wants to show or share that ?

i pulled just a few quotes to reply too and wanted to reply to many but these seemed to pull everything together.


here is a link to the other thread by me....they had no issue following the rule....

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?239714-how-does-it-feel-to-be-a-women-GGs-and-transwomen-only-please

[Tabitha_Sinn]

I consider myself just a CD and very much enjoy being a man sometimes. I love to get dressed up in a nice suit and dress shoes, smoke cigars, etc.
I don't know how it *feels* though. Just natural, I guess. I've always been a male. I feel strong, masculine, independant.

When I want to be a girl, it feels natural also though. I've crossdressed for twenty-four years, so it's nothing new. Sometimes I just want to feel softer, more feminine. And enjoy it very much. It just all depends on my mood.

[Polly R]

if you dont identify as anything other than a CD,
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay

how do you feel as a man,
not the action of CDing
not how you relate to women
not how you feel persecuted by society
not how you think your supposed to feel
not how you feel like a women when you dress

how you feel as a man,

so yes now i changed the question.....and respectfully ask if this does not describe you please refrain....again no disrespect for not being all-inclusive, trying to use a dart, not a cannonball....

Well, yes, erm... Difficult to relate to without going off into some of the not's you've asked us not to comment on.

I was born a boy and brought up as one - although looking back over my life, I know that Mum and my Aunts had all wanted daughters and perhaps some of that rubbed off on me ultimately causing a subconscious CD undercurrent that manifested itself in my 20's. I suppose I may have been a little different in not liking rough sports such as football or rugby at school but did and do like a lot of what are termed 'boys' pursuits. I wanted to be and trained as an engineer in both practical and theoretical terms - in my mid-30's, I went to university to top up my qualifications to an engineering degree. I drive a desk and computer these days in a very male orientated engineering business. Previously I was very much a hands-on engineer working in a small, all male team getting my hands dirty and taking a pride in keeping the machinery going in tip-top order. I enjoy my job immensely and my hobby takes me back to being a hands-on engineer restoring vintage steam machinery in again, a very male orientated team. (Hopefully) nobody has guessed my alta ego!

Sometimes the 'pink fog' drifts in and I find it quite difficult to deal with. Don't know what triggers it - stress of a particularly difficult project / task or perhaps a beautifully dressed woman walks by and I think, 'how I'd like to get dressed up like her'

I'd say for 80-90% of the time, I'm quite happy being the provider for my family and doing big boys 'things' but as many have commented, sometimes 'things' build up inside you and the only way to relieve the stress is to turn from chrysalis into butterfly to relieve the stress for a few hours and calm down. Afterwards, apart from a few flash-backs in the following hours, it's back to being a man be it for a few days or sometimes a few weeks.

As to my feelings towards GGs, we do have quite a lot of GGs in work, some are fellow engineers and I treat them as equals. Likewise with our PA's and technical clerks. I still try to do the 'right thing' and open doors to them and generally treat them with respect. I try and compliment them if they're looking nice (perhaps more so because I know what it takes to get to that state!) although I sometimes think to myself, wouldn't I look good in this or that outfit... I also tend to notice their mannerisms probably with a view to following their footsteps when I turn into a butterfly. I've been married to my wife for many, many years and I try to be a good husband.

There, that's my take on the situation. I hope it helps.

xx Polly

[SeanErin]

I guess I am Bi-Polar in that respect, I can redneck it up with the best of them but really like a pink bra and cami. Flows with my mood.

[Jessica S]

I feel like me. I do what I do regularity. I would say I feel different in girl mode. More relaxed like I am getting away with something that doesn't hurt anyone.

[Martha G]

When I become Martha, I become a lovely, feminine woman.

When I am in male mode, I am regular guy.

[AllieBellema]

I feel like I normally do as a guy. I mean, I do have a house to take care of and I have my factory job to deal with, watch sports, go out hiking, etc. I'll dress up when I feel in the mood to do so and have some free time to sit around and enjoy being dressed up... because it's hard to blend in the real world when alot of your outfits need a petticoat or hoop skirt!

[paintmepink]

Love being a guy. I was born a male, love sports, love growing a beard, love oggling ladies. Except, being an alter ego is fun. I like wearing jump suits.

[Rita Leigh]

Having been primarily an alpha 'in-charge' male my entire 6 decades, I feel like I have short-changed my CDing or transgender sole. I feel that if I had followed my CD dreams at an earlier age...listened to my heart more...I would have had a different life. However, my long and happy marriage to a wonderful woman and my two children would not have ever happened. Who knows how my life would have turned out? I can only hope that in my next life I get to find out by coming back as a natural female from birth...of course I won't know my previous lives or desires or will I?

[Dana44]

I wanted to say that all those people who identify as nothing who crossdress say they don't fit anything. Well I researched it and there is a term for that and that term is androgynous. One who is male/female display and in spirit or dress or anyway else. That is what they are. Many women are that and use it well. So, on males who cd that is at least what they are. They are not gender variant but are androgynous.
Here is a link. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Androgyny

[Vickie_CDTV]

In terms of how it feels... it just... is. I am a male. It doesn't feel bad, or good, it just feels what it is. I have never been successful at traditionally male things (sports, cars, etc... could never throw a ball to save my life), but in terms of how it feels to be male... a person with male genitals and XY chromosomes... it just "is".

Sometimes GGs will ask what "feeling feminine" is. Sort of how I feel like as a man. It just is "normal", or "default".

[daytonalori]

Having been primarily an alpha 'in-charge' male my entire 6 decades, I feel like I have short-changed my CDing or transgender sole. I feel that if I had followed my CD dreams at an earlier age...listened to my heart more...I would have had a different life. However, my long and happy marriage to a wonderful woman and my two children would not have ever happened. Who knows how my life would have turned out? I can only hope that in my next life I get to find out by coming back as a natural female from birth...of course I won't know my previous lives or desires or will I?

Your statement "I feel like I have short-changed my CDing or transgender sole" really hit home with me. I'm 50 and started crossdressing about 10 years ago. I just wish I discovered this much sooner. I feel at home when dressed and at a CD friendly club. I feel 25 years younger when I'm dressed and many people have said I looked 15-20 years younger. Make up can do wonders to not only how young you look but that translates into who young you feel.
Lori

[marlacd]

Mmmkkk, how do you feel as a man.

First of all, I feel like a man that was short-changed. My dad raised me as best as he could.(Or for what he knew) His father was killed in an industrial accident when he was three. I don't think he got too much guidance in the fine art of being a man. He did have friends that pushed him along, and would teach him about life in general. But then, he had friends that lived close by. I didn't. So I learned nothing from him about women, or even how my body worked. I guess he figured I'd learn from my friends.

I became a do-it-yourself man. Being bullied in school got me to retreat, and just use it as a place of learning-and not socializing. Curiosity about women got me dressing-that was the closest I was going to get to a woman.

I feel self made. I learned by doing. I like working because people depend on me to do the correct job. My opinion is asked and respected.

I'm a man that can't approach life aggressively. It's not my way.

[CarolynO]

When i pursue my other interests,the best word i can come up with is "neutral".When sexuality comes into play,it brings along Gender dysphoria,thus i feel completely out of place as male.

[susmitha]

When i pursue my other interests,the best word i can come up with is "neutral".When sexuality comes into play,it brings along Gender dysphoria,thus i feel completely out of place as male.

I think I may be like you, CarolynO, I like only the fem role in the bed room.

[Krisi]

That is a very strange question. I identify as "just a CD" and feeling like a male is normal. It's all I've ever known.

[mykell]

thats exactly my question....can you describe it

[Ressie]

I don't feel as manly as those manly guys especially at this point of my life. I giggle to myself when I see men doing those tough guy gestures, stance, gait style etc. Also the clothing of guys that have that hunt and fish look - thick belt with knife in holster etc.

But why did you exclude CDs that are bi or gay? Your grouping sexual orientation and gender identity together by doing this.

[Alice Torn]

Marla, i get what you said, about curiosity about women got you dressing as one, because you thought that was about as close to one as you would get. I was so estranged, and a loner, and lacking confidence, that is one reason i started to dress at age 14. Exactly the same here! I am more like the passive woman in the bedroom, than male aggressive, if i ever do have an SO or wife. I did meet a man, as Alice, and we "pretended", and i was not the aggressive one.

[Janine cd]

As I grow older, I find that my male image grows fainter and my female image takes control. I have never lost the desire to be a truly real woman. It's amazing how the desire keeps coming back, no matter how I deny it. So it seems as if my desire to crossdress will never go away.

[EffyJaspers]

I feel fine and dandy. I got my brother to take up some light sparring again (hand wraps and mma gloves), i wear plain clothes (jeans and blue or whiite tshirt) to work, and I usually chill in athletic shorts (male version) and a tshirt or tanktop (male versions). I have only gotten my first two tanktops (male version) recently since it seemed weird, but I enjoy them. I totally love mind my dick (though if actual magic happened I wouldn't die to trade it in), but i am sad I have no boobs (A or B cup preferred). I hate my thigh fat, stomach fat, and arm fat. I've never gone full female mode and only crossdress in things I think are cute and would look good on me and comfortable. Love and embarrassed by the red shorts (girls) i bought that the patterns on my panties show through. I don't mind male clothing at all, except for dressing up. "Flip the bird" at suit and tie occasions, i would rather be easily dresssed up in a yoga pant and dress, or something.
What other things I apply to male? Every gender knows about sports and to different degrees, know about politics, raising babies, getting jobs, blah blah. This second paragraph was to clarify I don't know how to answer. [teasing] I'm so manly I eat meat and mow the lawn and wear man's deodorant and use man's shampoo and conditioner. Just kidding, screw mowing the lawn, my dad does that and when I actually own a home that grass is growing to at least half a foot before I cut it. Everyone eats meat! Man's deodorant, psh, my sister wear's man's deodorant and what do I wear? Unscented. Shampoo? Whatever is there. Conditioner? Whatever is there. There are those men that need everything that reads "Men's _____" because there's nothing more manly than wearing deodorant to smell like a tree. Sorry, Old Spice Denali ---- with spruce (tree) - deodorant.

- - - Updated - - -


I consider myself just a CD and very much enjoy being a man sometimes. I love to get dressed up in a nice suit and dress shoes, smoke cigars, etc.
I don't know how it *feels* though. Just natural, I guess. I've always been a male. I feel strong, masculine, independant.

When I want to be a girl, it feels natural also though. I've crossdressed for twenty-four years, so it's nothing new. Sometimes I just want to feel softer, more feminine. And enjoy it very much. It just all depends on my mood.

You look like an badass with that cigar. Irish mafia!

[Joanne108]

I feel like a man. I've accepted that I dress so the guilt is gone. It is just part of who I am. That is it!

[PattyT]

I have no proble being a male at all. I don't feel any desire to change or that I am a "female in a male body." When en femme I do tend to behave in a softer, more gentle fashion. This is partially because the very femine clothes I wear make me feel "softer" but also more at ease.
I feel perfectly normal as a man.

[Stephanie58]

I kept my CDing secret for 60 years and during that period do not recall analysing why I dressed (probably because it was a mystery to me) - but I do remember the fear of being discovered.

Throughout my life i have always felt I had a softer personality and was less aggressive than many men, and also seemed to gravitate more towards women.

Now my secret is out, I want to be more public - not necessarily away from home but certainly within our house - and no longer wish to be "locked away". But I also realise I cannot realistically present as a women (due to my body size) and do not wish to transition.

But if asked what group of "trans" I fit in - I still really have no idea, and i don't think it is important to me. I simply want to enjoy my cross dressing in the little time I have left.

[mykell]

I don't feel as manly as those manly guys especially at this point of my life. I giggle to myself when I see men doing those tough guy gestures, stance, gait style etc. Also the clothing of guys that have that hunt and fish look - thick belt with knife in holster etc.

But why did you exclude CDs that are bi or gay? Your grouping sexual orientation and gender identity together by doing this.


what prompted this thread was this : http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?239418-Defining-Gender-Fluid&highlight=gender+fluid

i was pressed by a member to describe how i felt gender fluid or like a women, tough to self assess ones "self",
but while i learned much about my "self" i then tried to describe how it felt to be male, very humbling tasks.

i had much "self" awareness about myself and about members here as well and it prompted this thread and another by myself:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?239714-how-does-it-feel-to-be-a-women-GGs-and-transwomen-only-please&highlight=gender+fluid

so this is a crossdressing site.....how does one get the alfa male aspect of how it feels "to be a man" when they are out hunting or fishing or cutting down trees, not posting on a crossdresser site :thinking: so i made rules, we have some here who are adamant about how they identify and i choose that group as the best to represent as the alfa males....it was not a slight or judgement on any who were not included or even those included.

i even gave up on this thread in the end as it became a hot mess....but it seems to be back on track, most responses almost always reverted back to dressing and acts, some who clearly identify other ways responded..... i found it curious that men who say the identify with women could not get in touch with theyre feelings and describe how "they" relate to feeling like a man without what could be described as misogynistic or narcissistic traits.
i was one myself but after i was pressed and dug in i was able to find an impartial look at myself and i felt better for it and thought these threads would be interesting....wasnt judging by excluding or including anyone....

[itsgonnabepretty]

I hope this is not out of context, but as someone new to this, how I feel/will feel is something that has constantly been on my mind as I have slowly entered this journey. As of today, I definitely feel like a man and have no desire to become a woman. However, sure there is a fantasy of what is would be like to be a woman, and understanding that feeling of being out in public perceived only as a woman, treated as a woman, and all the things that means.

I think part of the fear i have had in dressing is whether putting on those clothes, or putting on that makeup would somehow change who I am inside, and further confuse the situation. Recently, I have come to feel that I am a man, and will continue to be one, and just trust where my desire leads me.

After reading all the replies here, I think it will be interesting to see how I might answer this question again in 6 months.

[NickyCD]

For me, I have a very strong "type-A" masculine personality, and really like being a man. I just want to wear women's clothing even when I do "manly stuff." I am the kind of person who would chop firewood in a wedding dress lol.

[Alice Torn]

Stephanie, I really admire, you, that you are a Viet Nam combat veteran, yet have embrace you dressing side. I am a vet, but never saw combat, but was bullied by older brothers, and bullies at school, and on some jobs, and going through bullying form the same cruel nazi brothers now, having to fight over and over. But Nam combat must have been total hell. I can see why you suppressed any dressing desires then. Humans and animals are very adaptable when circumstances dictate.

[mykell]

sorry i screwed up a link in post #91 the other link is this http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?239714-how-does-it-feel-to-be-a-women-GGs-and-transwomen-only-please

[Dree Yer Ane Weird]

auld and hirsute

[cdveronica27]

There really is no feeling when I'm male. I just feel normal. To contrast, I feel special when I'm dressed as a girl.

[Katie01]

I think the hugely varied answers really point to how nuanced the question is. I doubt that there is a black and white, definitive answer to your question, even for "alpha males". It would be like trying to describe the feeling of a color.

"Man in a dress" conjures an image of a guy in a kilt. For me crossdressing is more like crossgendering. I am and love being a guy and pretending to be a girl makes me giddy.

[Krisi]

............how does one get the alfa male aspect of how it feels "to be a man" when they are out hunting or fishing or cutting down trees, not posting on a crossdresser site...............

Being a "man" doesn't require "hunting or fishing or cutting down trees". Being a man is just that, being a man. Some men hunt or fish and some cut down trees, but many sit at a computer adding up figures, work in retail stores, make or sell jewelry or pluck chickens. Some even dress as women now and then.

We are what we are and since we've never been anything else, we can't say how it feels to be a man other than it's normal.

[krissy]

Im a crossdresser and i need both of me its who i am inside.

[wanda66]

Comfortable.....