MonicaJean
05-24-2016, 05:19 PM
Hard to believe I've come this far. Seems like just yesterday I was lurking here and amazed at the progress of those before me. Then it happened, that emotional breakdown moment two summers ago...the moment you can't go on another second. I chose to go on, but be honest...no more hiding.
Since then the amount of fear and self-doubt I've dealt with...well...I had no idea how many layers of those covered my emotional self. As I uncovered them layer by layer, I started to find self-acceptance, which to me, is happiness.
I've lost much but have gained much more. New friends, new opportunities and challenges. I love it when I go to a client and they call me "she". A warmth washes over my body like nothing I can describe...this part of transition was not expected in the least. They are confirming what I've always known but buried so far down I hid it from myself: I'm female on the inside.
20 months so far on making me female on the outside. It takes a long while, hormones don't work overnight. 3-7 years is usual for puberty.
Puberty at 45? I'm all for it :)
Since then the amount of fear and self-doubt I've dealt with...well...I had no idea how many layers of those covered my emotional self. As I uncovered them layer by layer, I started to find self-acceptance, which to me, is happiness.
I've lost much but have gained much more. New friends, new opportunities and challenges. I love it when I go to a client and they call me "she". A warmth washes over my body like nothing I can describe...this part of transition was not expected in the least. They are confirming what I've always known but buried so far down I hid it from myself: I'm female on the inside.
20 months so far on making me female on the outside. It takes a long while, hormones don't work overnight. 3-7 years is usual for puberty.
Puberty at 45? I'm all for it :)