Reasons for Crossdressing

[AllisonS]

I thought this was a good description of the reasons (benefits?) for crossdressing. Some of all of this applies to me. What about you?

http://www.tgforum.com/wordpress/index.php/background-papers-on-transgender-issues-from-renaissance/reasons-for-male-to-female-crossdressing/

[Rachael Leigh]

Thanks for sharing lots of good information for sure and I do see some of me in several of the reasons

[Nadine Spirit]

Hi Allison-

Lets see here:

1 - erotic arousal
2 - relief from tension
3 - expressing hidden personality characteristics
3a - the androgyne hypothesis
4 - envy of women
5 - fooling around
6 - a conscious alternative personality
7 - creativity

Okay so there is a recap of the article linked to. As for me, I would have to say that no, none of those things apply well to me.

But more power to you if you identify with that set of reasoning.

[Kate Simmons]

Interesting but then again, maybe I'm just two-spirited and don't really need a reason. Works for me. :battingeyelashes::)

[Jenniferathome]

I'm with Nadine. These are "explanations" for those that are not cross dressers. I am a cross dresser, that is why I cross dress.

[Alexa CD]

Forgive me Jennifer but "I am a crossdresser, that is why I crossdress" makes little to no sense to me. There has to be some reason you know of, maybe a little self reflection would help I don't know. If you said something along the lines of I am transgender, that is why I am transgender, I would be more likely to accept and understand what you're saying here. To me there has to be more reason than that. In my experience every single one of those reasons can be viable explanations for some people, I have seen people say things like that here. There has to be at least one there, to a degree.

Maybe you or Nadine can help me understand what you're saying here because I am genuinely interested.

[Nadine Spirit]

How about, I was born this way?

For example - why am I right handed? Did I choose that? Was it because my mom always wanted to have a right handed child and so she always placed the crayons in that hand? Is it because one day while looking at a right handed person I got a jolt of excitement? Oh wait, I know what it is, I have always held a secret desire to be a right handed person but society has always told me that it is wrong to be right handed, but now that I am older I have finally decided to heck with society and dang the consequences, I am going to be a right handed person regardless!!!

Do any of those things make sense? No. Do you know what does? I was born this way.

I am not saying that all of you who frequent these boards MUST agree that everyone of us was born this way. You are all free to believe whatever you want to. Think whatever you would like to about yourself and your own reasons, but don't you dare tell me why I do what I do.

[Jenniferathome]

Nadine beat me to it.

I didn't choose this. Cross dressing is not golf or bike riding. I am a cross dresser in the same way that a gay man is gay. He does't choose it. It is not a "lifestyle" choice. It is genetic. He was born that way.

Now, here is the litmus test: who would choose to be a cross dresser? It makes absolutely no sense to be a cross dresser. It's not socially acceptable, it defies any reasonable explanation EXCEPT, I was born this way.

Lastly, your comment about self reflection is not only condescending but altogether uninformed. You are new and young, so I'll give you a pass on that but never presume to be more thoughtful than me. Feel free to read some of my 5 thousand posts and you will see that honest and objective is exactly what I am.

[AllisonS]

If instead of looking at it as reasons for crossdressing, you look at it as, "what are some of the pleasures and benefits crossdressers derive from their practice", maybe you can relate to it, or not.

Its not as if you would say, hmmm I think I will be a crossdresser for these reasons. Crossdressing, for me, comes first. But, being somewhat introspective, and given the challenges of it, I sometimes ponder why. I don't doubt I was born this way, I'm just curious about what "this way" is all about, for me. In my opinion, it is not a bad practice to examine why we behave as we do, for a wide range of behaviors, not just CD. Not everyone is interested in introspection. That's fine.

[Jenniferathome]

Allison, as I wrote above, you can not assume that someone is not introspective because one answers, "I was born this way." How do you think Nadine or I were able to each that conclusion? Let's see....could it be introspection, self reflection, simple objectivity? The answer is yes to all.

You are also new but I can assure you that this question comes up almost monthly. The "why" of cross dressing has been debated here ad nauseam.

[AllisonS]

Jenn, In no way I am looking for a debate about the why of crossdressing. I don't know how such a debate would be possible? Yes, because I am new to this board, I am interested in how similar and different it feels for others, who are at least something like me. For example, (6) in the article clearly is a part of the experience for some people but not others. I asked about that in a previous post, wanting to know if others feel the same, and if it is a phase, or persists. I'm not trying to analyze you, I'm trying to understand me. OK? I do apologize if because of my newness I am repeating dialogue already thrashed by this forum. With over a million posts here there probably isn't much that hasn't been said. I could just read, I suppose.

[Lorileah]

Personally I think it is a very skewed and shortsighted list focusing on the ideas that many will use against crossdressers. Seems they are grasping at the general public's ideas. Most of you have been here long enough to know that the list doesn't even cover 10% of the reasons

[JeanTG]

After years of these urges, the only reasonable explanation I can come up with as to why I crossdress is "because I feel like it".

[AllisonS]

Lorileah - If you think it is a short-sighted list that many will use against crossdressers, then maybe it is worth writing to the Renaissance Education Association? I doubt they feel they are doing this community a disservice. Maybe you could help educate the educators. If you do do that, I would be very interested to read what you write.

[Tabitha_Sinn]

For me Allison, I am a strong, independant and masculine male. Sometimes, I just want to give up that role and experience my softer side. Crossdressing allows me to do that. That and I have always liked 'girl things'.

It's never been a sexual thing for me, except for one period in my life. I am a recovering heroin addict (clean for 8 years now), and a little known secret about heroin addiction is that once you get through the withdrawals, your sex drive comes back with a *vengeance*! I was masturbating about 3 times a day during that period and felt the desire to dress up as part of my masturbation rituals. It stayed that way for at least a year.

Other than that, including when I first started crossdressing it never was a sexual thing. But a way for me to experience my feminine side in full. I still enjoy it to this day, although I don't feel a constant need to dress anymore :-)

[AllisonS]

Tabitha - I can relate to that. I've been husband, father, breadwinner, and somewhat alpha male in an industry that is about 98% male. I've done it, I liked it, I was good at it, I still do it...but there's more to me. I am a romantic at heart. I want to live there more... dressing helps open (interior) doors that were closed when life got "serious". I think I'm a better person for it.

[Jennie2]

As far as I am concerned, it is part of who I am, I was built this way, My body wants me to crossdress and I get immense satisfaction and joy from dressing. If we didn't enjoy it we wouldn't do it, in a similar way to sex, if it wasn't pleasurable we wouldn't do it.

If I don't dress up regularly I get stressed, it's another sign that my body wants me to do it. Who am I to argue with my body.

Jennie

[Nadine Spirit]

Why do others need to speak for others ---- "If we didn't enjoy it we wouldn't do it....."

Do some of you newbs know that there have been many people here that have insisted that they didn't want to do it, they don't like it, it is ruining their lives, it ruined their marriages, etc. and despite all of that, they couldn't stop even when they tried. It sure does not sound to me as if those people enjoyed it.

If YOU enjoy it, fine, say that, but don't try to bring all of us into your group so that YOU feel better about yourself.

[SamanthaLouiseScott]

Sam has a busy hectic lifestyle. its shows in his behaviour and tiredness.

Samantha is a sensual tactile friendly chilled lady. Sometimes, like tonight I just sit here dressed and made up, other times I go fro a drive and I am a much more relaxed slower easy going driver. Other times erotic feelings are an understatement. I love shopping. I was told by a lady at a t girl shop that's a sign of my femme personality.

I love dressing , I love being femme and I love Samantha. Easy as that.

[AllisonS]

Samantha - That's me too. I thought it was weird that I drive differently. No, its not the heels.

[susan54]

Apart from the last one (creativity) I don't relate to Nadine's list. For me it is:

The clothes feel good
I look good in them
Putting an outfit together is fun (creativity)
I get lots of positive feedback when I go out

For me it is not related to femininity or arousal. It is nice, it is FUN!

[Martha G]

For me, too dress as a woman relieves stress. Also I look a lot younger, feel a lot younger.

For me becoming my feminine side has a lot of great effects for me.

[AllisonS]

Nadine - As a "newb" (to this board) I do have to apologize. I've been very chatty. It has been so long and I have had so few conversations with anyone that could begin to relate. However, yes I do know that. I have lived it. It has tortured my soul, shaken me to my foundation, and if it did not cause the ending of a marriage it certainly contributed to it. There may be more pain ahead. Probably there is. Hopefully most of it is over. Now, for the most part, I see the positive, and inevitable, side of it and try to manage the downside as best I can. We can talk about this with a light heart without being disrespectful about the hazards and tragedies some of us have suffered I'm sure you agree. Your point is valid, if rather forcefully made. And, by the way, aren't you speaking for Jennie2 when you say her choice of words was made so she would feel better about herself? Just seemed kind of harsh. Sorry.

[Nadine Spirit]

I thought this was a good description of the reasons (benefits?) for crossdressing. Some of all of this applies to me. What about you?



I'm just curious about what "this way" is all about, for me. In my opinion, it is not a bad practice to examine why we behave as we do, for a wide range of behaviors, not just CD. Not everyone is interested in introspection. That's fine.


I'm not trying to analyze you, I'm trying to understand me. OK?

If this is an attempt to understand you, then why ask if this applies to others, and then when some of us say no, you state that some are not interested in introspection? Seems as though you are wanting company.

BTW, it is always interesting to me when people make a friend request without understanding who some of us may be. Yes, I do make rather forceful points. Have you seen my little sentence below my name and above my photo?? I didn't put that there for just giggles.

And yeah, I suppose I did speak for Jennie2 when I said she does that to feel better about herself. So she spoke for every single one of us, and I spoke for her. I made an assumption about 1 person, she made an assumption about every single person who considers themselves to be a CD. Kind of like how the list you referenced did. Oh if only it were so simple.

[SamanthaLouiseScott]

Samantha - That's me too. I thought it was weird that I drive differently. No, its not the heels.

Superb. Definitely makes me a better person, until I haven't worn heels and nylons for a couple of weeks anyway :)

[AllisonS]

If this is an attempt to understand you, then why ask if this applies to others, and then when some of us say no, you state that some are not interested in introspection?

BTW, it is always interesting to me when people make a friend request without understanding who some of us may be. Yes, I do make rather forceful points. Have you seen my little sentence below my name and above my photo?? I didn't put that there for just giggles.


Why ask? Good question. I'm not sure. I guess the variety within the community is interesting to me and I'm trying to understand my place in it, how similar and different we are with respect to what crossdressing means to our lives. Generally, you really only know something when you try to contrast it with other things. Hearing about how others feel, helps me. I don't know why.

It seems that some don't want to be introspective about this particular topic, or that they have already done their introspecting on this topic and are over it. I wasn't intending to accuse anyone of generally not being introspective. I mean its not a bad thing. My mother hated introspection, at least doing it with anyone. Sometimes I do it. Sometimes I say the heck with it, who cares, lets have fun. The reason, and the wisdom, of Mom's way was that she was interested in the world, not herself. I got the introspection trait from Dad. The introspection comes almost entirely from my male side (here as I sit). Allison is not introspective at all.

I sent you a "friend" request (which you "gratuitously" accepted) because I thought your posts are interesting and I wanted to follow along. Sorry if that was bothersome. I did see your tagline. I thought it was cute, not a warning. Now I understand. See, I'm slow but I'll get there. Peace.

[Mollyanne]

Do I REALLY need reason to CD????? If I did, its because I like to, need to and want to.

Molly

[Tracii G]

Alexa there doesn't always HAVE to be a reason.
What is with everyone always having to try and find a reason why you do something out of the ordinary?
Why would you want to paint,ride a mountain bike,skateboard? Because you want to and you get enjoyment out of it not because of some deep rooted trauma in your childhood.

How about because you want to?
Its really as simple as that.

[Judy-Somthing]

I Cross-dress because I've been unable to talk myself out of it. I have tried a bunch of times.

I'm planning on quitting Cross-dressing in about ten years or when it gets to hard to put pantyhose on.

[Alice Torn]

Judy, I get what you wrote. When the arthritis, or other ailment makes it not worth it. I am helping care for my 95 yr dying father, who may have had a CD thing himself. He cannot move his body, now, in great misery, and i think. Crossdressing is not forever for any of us , because of old age, and failing bodies. Sobering.

[Nikki.]

Another in the genetic or born this way camp. I don't try to analyze why anymore. I just accept it is the way I am, and will likely have the desire to do so until it's dirt nap time. There wasn't any trama in my childhood, my parents loved me, etc etc. I don't care about the feel of the fabrics, I don't see it as a creative outlet, at this stage of my busy life it's a PITA to dress so it's not really a stress reliever, it costs me time and money...I could go on and on with the negative aspects of it. But, I have an innate drive to occasionally present as a female. So I do. :shrug: The conclusion I've reached is that something went a little screwy with my gender genetic programming.

I mentioned it last week- on NPR's Fresh Air Terry Gross had a cancer MD/researcher who wrote a book about genetic research around cancer. She asked him the question about sexual and gender identity genes. His take was there is a genetic component to both and sometimes the programming is different. I took one lower division biology course 25 years ago so I don't have any education in genetic science and I'm sure I'm butchering his point. The podcast version was online last week.

[ZenladyCD5]

Reading the link in the original post and the reasons given within, I'll just simply say my reasons are #'s 1, 3, and 4.

[NicoleScott]

I crossdress because I'm a crossdresser. Or - I'm a crossdresser because I crossdress. It's the same thing. Using crossdress to define crossdresser or vice versa isn't getting anywhere. I have a strong internal drive to make up and dress up as a woman. I don't know why. That's not much help, but at least it's not going in circles.

[Robin414]

Why would you want to paint,ride a mountain bike,skateboard? Because you want to and you get enjoyment out of it not because of some deep rooted trauma in your childhood.

How about because you want to?
Its really as simple as that.

Holy crap, now that seriously makes sense!!

I admit I think I'm a little further down the rabbit hole than 'recreational CD' (I think) but I totally get that point!

[Charlessa]

I have no clue why. I just know I do it and like it.

[Tracii G]

Robin I am way down in the rabbit hole myself so all this is just the normal me.

[Shely]

After reading the article in the original post, i find i identify with all of the 7 listed reasons. Wow i never realized there were so many little pieces of this issue. I have purged several times and always came back. i love doing it. there are so many styles, colors, textures, etc, etc, I think you know what i mean.

[Piora]

Lets see here:

1 - erotic arousal

This used to be the case for me. And, at the time, I thought that was my only reason to do it. Over the last couple of years, that pretty much all went away. Now I dress because I like how I look and feel in women's clothes. A small amount still remains, true. But almost entirely gone.


2 - relief from tension

Ok, now this is a valid benefit from dressing. But it's not a reason that I do it. Just one of the added bonuses.


3 - expressing hidden personality characteristics

Hmm. Can't really put my finger on that one, since I don't go out, and am closeted - so I don't know how I would act around others. I DO know that when I AM dressed, I no longer act male. I sit with my knees together, or cross my legs the way a woman wearing a dress would. I try to walk the way a woman would while wearing heels. And I do this with no one else around. So, I suppose, in that regard, it's true. But I don't DO it to bring out those traits. Those traits show themselves when I dress.


3a - the androgyne hypothesis

No, I don't think it applies to me. I think I possibly have one or two female traits that might show once in a while while I'm in "male mode" - for want of better words. But my male and female personalities are separate. I don't wear anything that could be construed as "female" when I go about my regular everyday life. I also wouldn't wear anything that a man would wear while I'm dressed. So, no "unisex" items can be found in my closet. If it's a piece of clothing that isn't made specifically for a woman....then I'm not interested in wearing it.


4 - envy of women

Yeah.....I can buy that. I'm torn between my desire to be with a woman in the "heterosexual male" sort of way, and at the same time, I envy her femininity. Her smooth skin, hairless body, breasts, etc. I do have moments where I wish I could BE a genetic woman....but to be able to switch it on and off at will. I've searched my heart, and found that even if it were possible (well, yes, I KNOW it's possible....although I'm not talking about how some of us are already women)....I wouldn't want to PERMANENTLY be a genetic woman. I'm happy as a man.


5 - fooling around

LOL! I think you meant "fooling the world", Nadine. :) But, no I don't want to fool anyone. I know I could never. There are a large number of members here that could easily pass as women. As a closet dresser, I have no desire to even try.


6 - a conscious alternative personality

I suppose, some of that to a limited degree. I find myself doing some of it while I communicate with other members here. But I have no experience on how I would behave or what type of "personality" I would gravitate to when interacting with other people in real life.


7 - creativity

I have found that my taste in women's clothes has developed. I know what I think I look good in, and I try to be creative in how I put together the things I wear. I choose items, and I am very aware of what matches, and what doesn't; what flatters my body and what does not. In 'drab' I haven't a freakin' clue. I'm a jeans-and-t-shirt-with-runners kind of guy. Absolutely no sense of style. And even although it's just for ME when I dress, I am extremely anal about what I wear. That's very odd, I suppose.


I didn't choose this. Cross dressing is not golf or bike riding. I am a cross dresser in the same way that a gay man is gay. He doesn't choose it. It is not a "lifestyle" choice. It is genetic. He was born that way.

Agree 100% Jennifer! In the same way a man or woman is gay or lesbian, bi or any number of places in between, a crossdresser is one from birth. And they will always have those desires, whether or not they choose to suppress them, or embrace them.


Now, here is the litmus test: who would choose to be a cross dresser? It make absolutely no sense to be a cross dresser. It's not socially acceptable, it defies any reasonable explanation EXCEPT, I was born this way.

Yes, definitely. No one CHOOSES it. The desire to do it is deep within us. Karren Hutton, a member here (don't believe she has been here for a while) said, in a thread similar to this one, that she was "DRIVEN" to dress. She couldn't explain it any other way. I find it to be true: I AM driven to it. It comes in waves, although sometimes it can stay dormant for quite some time. But, it's fulfilling a NEED. Many of us view it to be similar to a drug. We gotta have our 'fix'.:doh:


I Cross-dress because I've been unable to talk myself out of it. I have tried a bunch of times.

I think that would apply to most of us. Few of us TRULY succeed. But I just don't want to even try. I embrace it. I live it. It's WHO I AM.


I'm planning on quitting Cross-dressing in about ten years or when it gets to hard to put pantyhose on.

Judy, you think it's possible that when we get to the point where we can't put pantyhose on anymore....they will have invented a machine to do it for us? I hope so! :)

[AllisonS]

Wow Piora. I can relate to all of that, and written so clearly. Thank you.

[Piora]

You're welcome, Allison. :hugs:

[TSKimberly]

I'd say I'm probably close to 6, a secondary personality. Others who know me argue a 4, envy.

But... This thread seems to be on fire a bit, so... Yep, moving on to next topic.

[sometimes_miss]

I think the part that bothers me about that website, is that they declare 'here are the only seven reasons for crossdressing' and then forget to go any further into it. Then you wind up with crossdressers trying to figure out which category they belong in, as well as the public always doing the same thing. Which can then wind up pigeon holing a crossdresser into believing something inaccurate about themselves and confusing themselves even further than they are, should none of those seven reasons be applicable to themselves.
Then you have the further problem, should a female partner want to know more about their crossdressing BF/SO/Husband, they can wind up insisting to know which one of those seven categories he fits into, 'because those are the only ones'; then he comes up with something else and she thinks that either he's in denial or doesn't know what HE'S talking about.

[Liz57]

Allison, without going into detail or getting too introspective I'd have to say most of the reasons mentioned hit home with me. One other reason I didnt see in their list is an experience early in life with wearing girls clothes. This seems to be a very common thread from reading many posts here. For myself, I was dressed as a girl in a fashion show in 6th grade to raise money for a field trip for our class. I wish I could go back and thank them. Not trying to speak so much for others as trying to sum up what I've picked up from reading this forum is so many of us have spent most of our lives wondering why we have this compulsion to wear womens clothes. Thinking that maybe we're sick in the head because society has said we must be when our own subconscious is telling us that we're not and common sense says it's not really that big of a deal. For many of us, after a lifetime of inner conflict and self doubt we still can't nor want to stop. One just reasons, 'this is just how I am, I don't care why.'

One thing that is for sure, there is a strong compulsion to do this, pretty much universally so with almost all crossdressers. Perhaps we aren't meant to understand this. Does anybody understand how an animals instinct works? No, but it's undeniable.

Liz:battingeyelashes:

[Stephanie47]

Even though I scrolled past a lot of the responses I find myself in agreement with Jennifer. There is no logical reason for a person to choose to be scorned and shunned by society. In my mind that includes gays, lesbians and transgender men and women, and I, a plain vanilla cross-dresser. My wife asked me decades ago why I am a cross-dresser? The truthful answer is "I do not have a clue." There are men in my lineage who are tall like me. Blond hair like me (once upon a time). I look like my father and one of his brothers. To my knowledge there are no other cross-dressing men in my lineage. Could be, but, I haven't heard any whispering about it.

Most of the reasons enumerated are really reasons to continue wearing women's clothing.

When the news was full of Caitlynn Jenner news my wife offered up a reason why some are non-conforming in one way or another. Is her reason plausible? It may define some faiths. She feels some people are reflecting a past life. Maybe, in a prior life I was a female. From what I've read most kids will lose any consciousness of a past life, e.g., describing in detail things she or he may have done. However, that past life pulls and has an influence on current behavior.

Hey, if my wife thinks my cross-dressing is due to a past life influence I'm in the clear. I was born this way!

[bonni]

It's me. I love it. Simple

[Patty Phose]

I just love it. I slip on some pantyhose, a dress, heels and a wig and I'm feeling great. Love doing makeup and the whole nine yards too but I don't do that everyday.