Borrowed wife's skirt

[Hazel King]

Hi, I have been looking after my wife 24/7 for the last few months, she is in and out of hospital, last night she suggested I went home early so I was home by 7.00pm, very tired, then I did something I haven't done for years I borrowed a skirt (she will never know) which I have worn again this morning as I do the jobs around the house, for the first time I feel relaxed and comfortable. (I would say I have put my clothes away), I suppose I am asking, am I bad or can I be forgiven/understood?

Hazel

[bridget thronton]

For me i could not keep the secret (unless it was a one time event) - i think my wife would want to know that I wore her skirt and the calming effect it had

[Sharon B.]

Maybe she already knows and just gave you the chance to get on with it.

[ClosetED]

You are not bad. Wearing a piece of clothing is not against the Ten Commandments. I bet your wife, like mine, has put on a shirt of yours or a jacket when cold. Was that 'bad'? If you only told her you went home and found peace and calm, she would be happy for you.
Hugs, Ellen

[Fiona123]

I'm sorry that your wife is unwell. What you did was really not bad. Not at all. You were taking care of yourself. You can't be a good caregiver otherwise. For me cleaning around the house en femme is a singular pleasure. 🌺

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Hazel :hugs:, The one piece that is missing is, Does your wonderful:love:wife know about Hazel,
Is it Un-known, Acceptance, tolerates or DA/DT...:daydreaming:...

[Hazel King]

Hi, Sorry I may have given the wrong impression, she will never accept or talk about it, that is her choice, I have tried for 49 years, with hours of counselling together and on our own, she will not change her mind, and with her health as it is I would not expect her to, she is facing enough.
So I suppose I was asking if I could forgive or accept myself for doing it.

Hazel

[Jaylyn]

I think you are feeling guilty that your wife is in the hospital and you are home dressing. I also think it might be a good coping tool to remember her while she is not there. I see nothing wrong except you are feeling bad. You need to relax especially if you are taking care of the wife 24/7. That in itself can be a very stressful time. You might also be looking to cling to and you said her skirt makes you feel a calming effect, which you probably need. I would thin there is nothing to be forgiven for and wouldn't consider this bad.
Would you be understood? Only you can determine that. Did you mean you are going to start wearing it in front of your wife at the hospital, when she returns home or that you are outing yourself to everyone?
I do know it is more fun to do house work dressed up than in male drab and maybe you just needed that down time and good feelings for a while.

[StarrOfDelite]

Being a Care Giver is one of the most exhausting jobs in the world. Instead of condemnation, I am posting to express approbation!

If you found that wearing a skirt for a few hours had a calming and relaxing effect, and enabled you to better cope with the psychological and physical demands that the situation is making upon you, I really don't know how anyone could not "forgive" you, and certainly you shouldn't punish yourself.

[Teresa]

Hazel
I'm sorry you're wife isn't well I hope she does make a full recovery.
One question, does she know about your CDing ? If she does maybe you could ask her if she really does object, and tell her the reasons , Otherwise maybe you should keep quiet and perhaps collect some of your own things together while she's in hospital. You obviously ask the question because you have some doubts yourself, so perhaps it is the right thing to get your own and then you won't have the same concerns.

[JenniferMBlack]

Sorry your wife isn't well hope she gets better.

I think I'm in the same boat as many others not sure what your needing forgiveness for. Is it for not being with your wife? Is it for wearing a skirt? Or because it is her skirt? She could see you were tired and stressed and suggested you go, so don't feel bad about that. Wearing a skirt even though you haven't don't it for years nothing wrong there. And if I am reading correctly you either don't have your own because she dosen't accept it or you packed them away, so you barrowed. Though not a good practise I think you are ok this time. Your under stress and needed to unwind. Don't Beat Yourself Up over it.

[Tracii G]

Starr put into words what I was thinking.
My ex used to wear my button up work uniform shirts all the time to sleep or lounge around in. I didn't care plus she look really cute in them.
Her reason was it made her feel closer to me when I was away working. She also said she loved the smell of the body lotion I used.
I mean they were clean shirts they just retain some remnants of their guy's smell.
Ask a woman they will say they do it I'm sure.
I think in this case it helps you to cope and that is a good thing.

[Rabecca]

There is nothing wrong with any of that, enjoy

[Liz57]

Gotta admit I agree with the others, nothing wrong with what you've done. If you don't damage her clothes or stain them I don't have a problem with wearing your wifes clothes occasionally. Sometimes she gets something really cute and I just can't help but try it on. It's better to have your own if possible but that depends on the situation. I too love to dress 'appropriately' when doing house work.

Hope your wife gets better soon.

Liz

[franlee]

I think it's great to get a little stress relief and comfort without having to pay extra or go out and find it. The way I have always looked at it was I either bought the things I borrowed or would replace it if she (the wife) want to for any reason. I always made sure she could buy any clothes she wanted, within reason of course. And She never had any problem sharing either way and I sure didn't. But now there is such a difference in our sizes it's a mute point. But she still has no problem with any borrowing not just clothes but jewelry or any other acc. including makeup. We just have a problem with mine's mine and such. We enjoy see the other having a good time or fun no matter who's it is, "it's our's."

[RADER]

First thing is to welcome you to the forum;
If you intend to borrow your wife's skirt again,
Why not go and get one just like it for yourself.
You will have ton hide it somewhere safe when
she comes home again. But you will have one with
out yo having to feel guilty.
Rader

[Tracii G]

Rader makes a good point its best to have your own clothes and not wear your wife's if it upsets her but in this case it helps you be closer to her when you can't be.
This is kind of a special case IMO.

[Alice Torn]

I cam empathize, because i have been at least part time caretaking for my 95 yr old dad who is still at home. I have been emotionally exhausted for 3 1/2 yrs. I may be asked by my sister to live with her, as her condition is worsening, but i will refuse to take care of her. I need a life, too. I admire you for only taking the wife's skirt, but like others said, maybe buy your own. And do not tell your wife you wore her skirt, as it sounds like it would greatly upset her again. Does she ever wear skirts anymore? Maybe if she does not ever wear skirts anymore, it might be ok to wear it occasionally, and wash it, return to closet.

[suspender]

I see no issue in it. It is a piece of clothing. I used to borrow my partners, when i started the journey. It is now the other way around, she permanently borrows some of my things and has a real liking for some of my jewelery!

[Gardener]

Hazel, I am pretty sure that everyone would say they hope your wife is comfortable and that you are doing a super supportive job. It really is not easy. You are a good man who probably feels alone, sad and misses his partner. Maybe you feel closer to her when wearing the skirt. That is all. X

[Katya@]

I think we all have done it and some wives are different from others. However, out of respect to my wife, I stopped wearing her clothes because I knows it upsets her. Got my own clothes - problem solved.