KaraK
05-27-2016, 01:37 PM
Hi all,
I've been quite away from this forum last months dealing with what was happening in Paris, in my head, in my life... I would love to say that I'm back on track, heading to my new life, but it would be a lie.
Still, I'm more confident with who I am, who I to be and what I am ready to do or lose to achieve my goal, to be happy and live as the girl I always thought I should have been.
I made big decisions that I'm quite proud of, like stopping dating creepy old strangersto feel alive and wanting to hurt myself just after because I was disgusting myself...
I also listed the people I wasn't ready to lose and globally I still have one or two friends who I need to share my story with. The others are mostly supportive and it gave me a strength I never thought I could find alone.
I'm no more afraid of losing my family, my friends, I talked with one of my sisters yesterday and she told me that it would be fine, that the other will be as supportive as she was the first time...
I moved in my own apartment, found a new job I like...
But even if I'm putting my life in the good way to finally enjoy it after 26 years of acting like I thought people expected to see me, like the boy they thought I was, I'm still afraid of losing the few achievements I made recently...
I mean I graduated several months ago and now work in a place I like, doing what I wanted to do since I'm 17 and I'm afraid to tell my bosses that I'm going to transition and face a wall. I'm clearly scared of this last step (also am I for the appointments with doctors who have my future in their hands as they just can say 'no' to my transition) but I'm working on it.
Good thing too, our representatives just voted an amendment to a new law which will ease the process of changing the sex of birth in our legal documents for transgenders.
2016 may be a better year than 2015
I've been quite away from this forum last months dealing with what was happening in Paris, in my head, in my life... I would love to say that I'm back on track, heading to my new life, but it would be a lie.
Still, I'm more confident with who I am, who I to be and what I am ready to do or lose to achieve my goal, to be happy and live as the girl I always thought I should have been.
I made big decisions that I'm quite proud of, like stopping dating creepy old strangersto feel alive and wanting to hurt myself just after because I was disgusting myself...
I also listed the people I wasn't ready to lose and globally I still have one or two friends who I need to share my story with. The others are mostly supportive and it gave me a strength I never thought I could find alone.
I'm no more afraid of losing my family, my friends, I talked with one of my sisters yesterday and she told me that it would be fine, that the other will be as supportive as she was the first time...
I moved in my own apartment, found a new job I like...
But even if I'm putting my life in the good way to finally enjoy it after 26 years of acting like I thought people expected to see me, like the boy they thought I was, I'm still afraid of losing the few achievements I made recently...
I mean I graduated several months ago and now work in a place I like, doing what I wanted to do since I'm 17 and I'm afraid to tell my bosses that I'm going to transition and face a wall. I'm clearly scared of this last step (also am I for the appointments with doctors who have my future in their hands as they just can say 'no' to my transition) but I'm working on it.
Good thing too, our representatives just voted an amendment to a new law which will ease the process of changing the sex of birth in our legal documents for transgenders.
2016 may be a better year than 2015