What do you and your spouse call each other?

[JanePeterson]

So pre, during, and post transition... My wife and I are trying to figure out how the whole introduction thing is going to work out down the road, was wondering how other folks handled it. Example, wife/husband... Wife/wife... "Wasband" etc. Thanks!

[arbon]

My wife would call me partner after transition started. She still calls me honey most of the time in front of people which really confuses the heck out of them since we are separated. She would never consider referring to me as wife.

[I Am Paula]

Good question.
My wife hates 'wife'.
If you say 'partner' or 'significant other' everybody assumes gay anyway.
If any body has suggestions...

[Suzanne F]

I think my wife is really struggling since my surgery. She knows her husband doesn't work but I am not sure she can say wife yet. I will get back to you,the first time it happens with her response
Suzanne

[PretzelGirl]

My wife called me her wife. She never had a problem with it and eventually decided that she identified as pansexual. So being with another woman didn't bother her.

[Nigella]

Sandra usually addresses the situation according to who is being told. Some people she works with (clients) are not able to understand the situation or are just homophobic, so she will generally use husband, for everyone else I am her partner.

[Gerrijerry]

my wife has introduced me as. Wife, girlfriend, partner, significant other, and told several people that is my husband when she wants to annoy me.
most of the time it is " We are married and she is my transexual wife. "
Love is love she told me many times.

[Rachel Smith]

We call each other ex's. LOL

[arbon]

Yeah. That too

[I Am Paula]

I'm glad I'm not the only one with difficulties about this. To someone looking in it seems very simple, but to a transitioned couple, the cis female NOT being gay, it raises embarrassing questions. So far the best I've used is 'It's complicated'.

[PaulaQ]

She calls me by my deadname, and misgenders me. That's when we speak at all. She also refers to me as just her ex.

[pamela7]

so far she's called me "steve", however she says she'll call me whatever I like; same with pronouns. The reason it's future-paced is down to me, taking it easy on people around as they adjust their perception of me.

[ariannavt]

Mostly "dear", "love", "lover" when we are addressing each other.

Sometimes when talking to the cats (we seem to talk to them a lot more than you might expect) in reference to me she will use my male name, and occasionally Arianna.


EDIT - today, with friends over, they were calling me "Ari" and "She". My wife wandered back and forth from "male nickname" and "he" to "Arianna"/"Ari" and "she."

[PaulaQ]

Small update after speaking to my ex-wife today - a few more terms she uses: "selfish", "self-centered", "not who I used to be", "self absorbed", "vindictive". I thought it was a relatively upbeat call!

On my end, I just call her by her name.

[ariannavt]

I'm sorry Paula. :(

[PaulaQ]

Thanks Arianna. I think I'm going to try meeting her in person since she's moved back in town to try to settle some things. If nothing else, I'm curious to see if she'll still dead name when she sees me in person. It's been a while since she's seen me - my boobs are bigger than hers, if nothing else. I *really* don't look like someone who'd have my deadname. (Yes, she's moved back to my state and town. Can my life get any better?)

[Suzanne F]

I really don't know what she calls me when we are not together. She uses correct pronouns as much as she can and calls me Suzanne. I don't ever remember her calling me her wife yet. It's complicated for her and I want to be understanding. The surgery has really hurt her and I fear we may not make it. I have been so lucky to have her support up to now.
Suzanne

[Karren J]

So far it's mostly honey, partner and such. It depends who's around, with friends who know it's honey and dear, around new people we're "friends" till she forgets and we're back to honey and dear. It's complicated and still evolving but I'll take it.