Travel Log - A long weekend in skirts and dresses

[Jenniferathome]

Hi everyone, I have a bike (road) race on Sunday in central California. 105 miles and 8.5K feet of climbing if you’re curious. Weather should be perfect. We ride to the mountains and the ocean and back. Well, I decided to use this as an excuse to do something I have never done: travel for multiple days in girl mode. Other than my bike kit, I do not have a stitch of boy clothes with me.
I’m going to keep a log of sorts and update this thread as I interact with the normals over the next three days and do all the crap one has to do when traveling. So Day 1, this is me at zero hour. Car is packed, bike on the roof and ready to hit the road south in a casual skirt and top. I’ll be checking into the hotel like this. That'll be a first. Kinda curious how I'll be received, but my expectation is cordially. Stay tuned....

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=261823&stc=1 http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=261824&stc=1

UPDATE #1. The Check-in

I entered the lobby of the hotel and a huge man was scowling at me from behind the check-in desk... NOT. So here's how it really went. I entered, the man behind the desk welcomed me without a hint of "WTF?" A lady came in right behind me with a key problem and stood next to me. The desk agent asked my name and I gave him my last name and then he asked of my first name and I gave him my real name, of course. He also asked for my credit card an ID which I produced. He found my reservation in a pile of printed reservations (I am in a VERY small town in costal central California). He went through his speil on breakfast, where my room was, wifi, etc. He said it, I am sure, in exactly the same way he does for all. I didn't detect a hint of discomfort.

Now, the interesting thing about the check-in was that I expected to get some nerves as I got closer to the hotel. The drive was about 4 hours with some traffic and when I parked, zero nerves. Now the good thing about not having any boy clothes is that it's fatalistic. With no plan B, what was I supposed to get nervous about? It's not like I could do anything about it. Funny what we do in our heads! OK, I'm heading out to stretch my legs, then I'll freshen up, change (I brought one of my favorite casual dresses) and head out to dinner. I'll update after that!

UPDATE #2. Dinner in a sports bar in a small town. What could go wrong? Nothing, of course.

Changed into my floral dress pictured here and put on a jean jacket as it was getting chilly and headed out. Opened the door to the restaurant to a huge group of people getting situated. The host greeted me very warmly without batting an eye and said I could sit right away. Restaurant area was not quite full but I was sat at the front most table, nearest the entry door and right next to the stage where a guy was playing guitar. He was good. Let me just state that I was noticed. But, no stares, no double takes, just the ole peripheral eyeball once over and mostly from women. The guys didn't seem to notice but there was a game on. Women always do. Ordered food, watched the first half of the Warriors game while listening to live music AND THEN....nothing happened. I anyone cared, they didn't make it known. Long day tomorrow and then dinner with Nadine and her wife. Yahoo! Wish my wife could have made it but she's with her Mom. i bought a really cute white sun dress by Elizabeth & James that I'll wear with suede heeled sandals in a taupe color. Update #3 late tomorrow afternoon.

UPDATE #3 - the race. See reply #25

UPDATE#4 - ready for dinner!

First, let me state that I have earned every calorie I plan to put in my body tonight. It will be a challenge to take small bites. OK, I'm meeting Nadine Spirit, a member here and her wife at an upscale Peruvian restaurant. I have no idea what the cuisine is, but I like to try new things. I'll update after dinner, but this is my outfit. White summer dress, whip belt and heeled sandals. Now, recall that I just rode 113 miles and now I'm in 4" heels. Not great planning but I love the shoes!
I'm going to try and remember to get a group shot at dinner...but I never seem to remember.

UPDATE #4.5

I forgot to get a group picture last night. No surprise. Dinner was great. Nadine and Jules are great company. Jules is really funny and she paid me the ultimate compliment, "Your fashion style is great." I'm still not certain what Peruvian cuisine is, but it was delicious! The restaurant was packed and stayed packed until we left at about 9PM. Quite naturally, I caught a few glances but no scowls. Our busboy and waitress addressed us as we presented without a hitch.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=261890&stc=1

UPDATE #5 - Breakfast with the normals.

It is so much easier to roll out of bed, put on some shorts and T-shirt and grab breakfast at a hotel. Men and women can do this. Cross dressers can't. My "getting ready" routine is down to 20 minutes or so, but that routine is a MUST if I don't want to frighten the world. So I get dressed and jump in the elevator to go to the dining room and it is PACKED with Chinese tourists and ONE clearly American family looking like they knew they were outnumbered. I got in the buffet line, got my food and of course, no one said anything, except one Chinese gal who said good morning. And if anyone looked at me strangely, I didn't notice. I bought this casual red dress a few weeks ago and finally got to wear it. It really needs a strapless bra because the straps of the dress are so thin and, of course, I didn't have one. I covered it with the blue, loose knit sweater.

So in the end, I have two big takeaways from this three day weekend. 1) It takes A LOT of work to be in girl mode for three days. 2) The normals just seem to be ok with a dude in a dress. If you want, get out there!

[2B Natasha]

FUN! Can't wait to follow along. Good luck in the race!

Cheers

[valeriemonroe2002]

Sounds like a wonderful way to spend the holiday weekend. Looking forward to the reading all about it. Have fun.

[rachelatshop]

Hi Jennifer, You look great. Have a great week end and we all look forward to hearing from you and your adventure.

[Diversity]

This sounds like it will be a fun time for you, and I'll bet you'll enjoy it immensely. I am envious of you!
Good luck!
Di

[Sarah Louise]

Sounds like you're going to have a lot of fun. I really like your skirt.

[reb.femme]

Hi Jennifer,

Love the cool and easy look of the skirt and top.

However, if I have those distances and heights ahead of me, I don't use a bike, I use a helicopter. :heehee:

Becky

[Rachael Leigh]

Sounds like a fun adventure, thanks for sharing with us

[RADER]

Jennifer;
You look very nice,you should have no problems a check in.
You might have some boys chasing you on that Bike.
Good luck and be safe.
Rader

[SamanthaLouiseScott]

Gorgeous pictures. You will have no problems other than admirers.

[Jenniferathome]

FUN! ...Good luck in the race!

Thanks Natasha. I'm shooting for sub 6 hours!


... I really like your skirt.


...Love the cool and easy look of the skirt and top....

Sarah and Becky, I love this skirt. Becky, you hit on the head. Cool and easy. But it's funny, as I am hitting my race weight, it's practically falling off me! Had to use a pin to keep it up. I bought a size 10 and now I think I'm 6. No hips, of course.

[steftoday]

Can't wait to see what you write and how it goes. Best of luck in the race!

[AllisonS]

You look great Jenn. Such nice posture :) Thanks for inviting us on a vicarious experience !

[Heidi Stevens]

Checking into a hotel en femme and by yourself is a bit nerve racking the first couple of times. Looks like you did just fine! (My first was a small Tennessee town). Now get out there and burn up the road! We're rooting for you!

[suzanne]

Well, it's obvious now why your legs are so fabulous! With all that competitive cycling, you should be able to rock that mini skirt until you're 75! Great story. Have tons of fun.

[Nikki.]

I have to say I like the to hell with it attitude re not bringing guy clothes. Not sure I would ever have the courage to go without a plan B.

[arbon]

Awesome! Have a great time

[krissysSecret]

Jennifer....what a wonderful adventure and fun time for you! Hope the ride goes well and thank you for sharing with all of us.....I believe we are all cheering for you!

[Sara Jessica]

Very cute Jennifer, can't wait to read more!!!

Good luck in the race, my legs hurt just thinking about it :).

[bridget thronton]

Looking forward to the updates - thanks for sharing. Very nice pics.

[Martha G]

You look lovely. Look forward to the updates.

[MindiB]

You look quit comfortable for a rode trip. You not going to let any girls beat you?......Lol

[Patty Phose]

Sounds like you had a great time and you look great.

[Michelle Girl]

Hi Jennifer,

Loving the feeling of being on this road trip with you. I applaud you for being so single minded and not taking any guy things with you. No decisions to make. Girl every time. I think it takes real courage, too, to go into restaurants you don't know en femme and in small towns.

Respect!

And can't wait for the next instalment in your big adventure.

Love, Michelle

[Jenniferathome]

OK, quick update as I just got back from the after party and have to get ready for dinner. Well the race was 105 miles and 8.4K feet of climbing. However, due to no fault of my own (bad signage, I rode 113 miles and climbed more than 9K feet. Killed my time goals. Her are screen shots of my ride:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=261886&stc=1http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=261887&stc=1



Best of luck in the race!

Thanks Stef. See below for race results, what a day.




It could be you doing this. If I can, anyone can.

[QUOTE=Heidi Stevens;3949079]..Now get out there and burn up the road!

Well something got burned but I think it was my pride.


.. Not sure I would ever have the courage to go without a plan B.

Maybe I'm just dumb;-)


Awesome! Have a great time

Thanks Teresa. I did!


...Good luck in the race, my legs hurt just thinking about it :).

Thanks. Funny, mine hurt right now too!


...You not going to let any girls beat you?......Lol

A gal jumped into my small pace line and she rode with us for a good 50 before the hills took her. She was awesome.

[Diversity]

Great to read your update! This is exciting and I can feel the fun you are having through your writing. Good luck on your next adventure and I look forward to reading your next update.
Thank you for sharing.
Di

[Alice Torn]

I guess , in my case, at almost seven feet in 4 inch heels, I would draw much more attention, and i would pack a box of guy clothes, too. But that's just me. It sounds like you are having fun!

[MindiB]

43 Max. I just know you busted the speed limit somewhere. Looking at the rest of the numbers, Well lets just say YOU ROCK.

[Jenniferathome]

...I think it takes real courage, too, to go into restaurants you don't know en femme and in small towns...

Hi Michelle, I think even a short while ago, I thought "courage" might be the word to be used, but now I do not. Confidence is all you need. And it's easy to be confident when you KNOW that you are doing nothing wrong, you are hurting no one, and you are presenting for the right time, location, event. If you can get out of your own head, it becomes a non-thing. Really.

[Suzie Petersen]

Jennifer,

Well done, on all accounts!

I believe you are right in that Confidence is the key to having a good experience on these outings. It is a lot easier said than done, but having confidence, and more importantly, displaying confidence, makes others comfortable with you. If you look out of place and scared, people will lock on to that and also see you as out of place. People get uncomfortable when they sense someone else among them is not at ease.

You do have a couple other things going for you though! You do have a great sense of fashion and dress code, and to top it off, you have a wonderful smile which is always a disarming feature.

In any case, it has been fun following along!

- Suzie

[christylee_sf]

Nice work Jen! Looks like you are working getting nice cavs so your awesome looks in high heels would look even better! Looks like a very nice road race. We should do the Davis Double Century, I have done that race once back when I was a student at UC Davis, but I need get my cavs into shape as well (running helps, but good to cross-train). Great that the adventure works out. As you always said to me, just dive in the pool, and never look back!....

[Rhonda Darling]

Wow, Jennifer. I've vicariously lived many adventures of other girls here, but your's is the first ehere I really wish it were me. I've never biked competitively, but when younger I biked often and loved doing distance rides. Now, just over 65, I want to pick it up again and get my legs back -- you've inspired me.

Kudos for going all-in with girl mode. I did that on my trips to the Keystone Conference in Harrisburg, PA, and it is both exhilarating and confidence building -- what alternatives are there when so far from home? We who have done it know to just pull up our big girl panties and deal with it.

On business travel I've gone to random restaurants and only a couple of minor issues in doing so. Except for testosterone rich sports bars and other predominantly young drunk male zones, normal caution is all any of us need.

Thanks for the great tale.

Rhonda

[Cheryl James]

What a great adventure. Thank you so much for sharing. You have set the bar pretty high.

[Suzanne F]

I just want to encourage everyone. You can do exactly what Jennifer does if you wear clothing appropriate for the venue. I live every day as me but that is in the Bay Area and I am spoiled. Or so I thought. I just returned from 6 days in Kentucky including 2 days in my hometown of Owensboro Ky. I never heard a discouraging word or encountered any problems. Now yes I dress well and look presentable as I do it every day. But if you hold your head up and act like you belong you can do it. Get out of that closet and have fun !
Suzanne

[Tabitha_Sinn]

Very nice Jennifer :-) You look terrific!

Glad you are out and about and enjoying yourself!

[Lori Kurtz]

Photos can be a bit misleading, in comparison to seeing someone in person. So maybe I'm completely wrong about this. But your pics always seem very feminine to me. I wonder if you're a little overly sensitive about being what you call a "dude in a dress." The reason some people seem to accept your appearance without question might be that when they see you, they think they're seeing a woman. Would it be scary for you to accept that possibility?

[Roxy]

Thanks for sharing. You look great and I love your white dress.
I sounds like you had wonderful experience

[Nadine Spirit]

The reason some people seem to accept your appearance without question might be that when they see you, they think they're seeing a woman. Would it be scary for you to accept that possibility?

You know what Lori? Jennifer, my wife, and I discussed this very thing while dining that evening. We laughed about it actually. Because it is kind of funny to think that the reason that she and I can get out and about so easily is because we SO obviously pass as women. It is quite laughable. BUT..... I was pondering this very thing the next day while dressed as a woman again and making a purchase at a gas station and people were walking and waiting all around me and nobody did anything to suggest that they thought I was anything but a woman. But really most of those people were just passing by with most of them not even looking me in the face.

In the restaurant it was different. We were both there, sitting at a table, with an obvious GG, and two guys dressed as women. I say it was obvious because people had time to actually look at us, which most people in most situations don't normally have the opportunity to have. So then who actually knew that we were "dudes in dresses" (by the way all of our dresses were adorable!!! The waitress, she knew, the people seated all around us, they knew, the two guys seated two feet from our table, oh they for sure knew, pretty much anybody that was within oh say ten to twenty feet from us. The people far over on the other side of the restaurant? Yeah they probably didn't know. To them we may very well have been just a table of the GGs. But really, it is pretty much best to assume that everybody in that restaurant knew, and that NOBODY CARED!!

Granted, Jennifer and I dress quite nicely, and appropriately to the situation. We are not outlandish in anyway. We are not out there to receive attention by being over the top. We are not wearing fishnets with spandex minis, tube tops in bright pink with DD breasts and 4 inch heels. But even though we both take great photos, we both dress nicely, we both dress appropriately, anybody that actually interacted with us or had the time to actually look at us, they for sure knew we were both born male. And still NOBODY CARED!!

It is unfortunate, to anybody who actually wants to go out, that thinks that they can't because they have to reach some super high unattainable bar of passing as a GG. It is just not true. Yes I live in California but I have also dressed in many other states and have ALWAYS received the same reaction, NOTHING. Yes people look, yes people for sure know, but so far in ten years of getting out and about I have never encountered any that cared enough to do anything negative.

That is personally why I SO love Jennifer's stories of getting out and about and her relaying them here. Me, I get all the time and it is no big deal to me, and I generally don't write about them here. I do at my blog. But I love Jennifer's gentle encouragement to all of you that want to get out, seriously you CAN do it.

Oh btw, it was great to see you again Jennifer!! Lovely dinner! Jules and I truly always enjoy spending time with you! Thanks!

[Jenniferathome]

Yeah, I have to agree with Nadine. A passing microsecond glance, no problem. Any more than that...

This,..."anybody that actually interacted with us or had the time to actually look at us, they for sure knew we were both born male. And still NOBODY CARED!!

It is unfortunate, to anybody who actually wants to go out, that thinks that they can't because they have to reach some super high unattainable bar of passing as a GG. It is just not true...."

is dead nuts accurate.

And good seeing you too Nadine. Say thanks to Jules too.

[Lori Kurtz]

(replying to Nadine Spirit) Well, okay ... but still, when I see Jennifer's pics, I don't see a dude in a dress. I see a woman. And if that avatar pic is really you, then I say you're a woman too. Totally. But whatever you look like in person, rather than in photos, I admire you both for your confidence and humor and femininity. You go, girls!

[Suzanne F]

Yes Jennifer and Nadine are very attractive cross dressers. However, Jennifer is correct in that they don't pass upon close close appraisal. I promise you that their confidence in who hey are is much more important than what they look like. At some point we have to own who we are. I know that I am a trans woman and that people are going to realize that when I am out. Guess what? I own it and I hold my head high and I go anywhere that I need to go. Whether it is my son's school or Safeway. I am not as well put together as these two as I am not quite as stylish. But I promise my attitude that I belong takes care of any deficiencies. So don't try to measure up to how they look. Go out and get out of the closet so we can be seen as good human beings that are a little different. The more we are seen the better for our gender non conforming children that will come behind us!

[Nadine Spirit]

Thank you Lori. Oh and um yeah, that avatar is me, all me, and just me; no Photoshop or special effects, other than the right clothes, and the right photo. Visit my blog if you're interested in seeing just how exactly I achieve the look in that photo.

Anywho.... just keep in my mind folks, a photo is one thing, real life is very different. A camera is easy to trick, another human who is trained by instinct and survival to quickly assess the gender of others, that is pretty tough. Too tough for the vast majority of us. But seriously, it's still okay to get out.

Oh and humor and confidence do make a big difference.

[SharonDenise]

I'm awed by three things: the great weekend you had enfemme without any problems, the grueling bike race and how attractive you look.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

As always, I am in awe. Sigh...someday! Good for you--your paving the way will make it easier for those of us in the shadows, when we finally muster up the courage! I love the white dress with the taupe sandals, BTW.

[CONSUELO]

Well done Jennifer. The read-out on your performance looks very good. Your heart rate average is stunning. There must have been lots of climbing to get it that high and the average cadence is very commendable. You kept it spinning. What other rides do you do around central CA?j
I live in Houston and the cycle riding around here is increasingly difficult because of more and more traffic and some drivers with attention defects amongst other things. I love to get out to CA in the summer and ride the hills. Such a pleasure.
Ride On and Ride Strong.

[IamWren]

I'm awed by three things: the great weekend you had enfemme without any problems, the grueling bike race and how attractive you look.
I'd like to add... and that you made it to the finish line having stayed up right. So many things can happen on a long race like that, just out of the blue through no fault of the rider. So glad you came out of it unscathed.

[Jenniferathome]

J... and more importantly, displaying confidence, makes others comfortable with you. If you look out of place and scared, people will lock on to that and also see you as out of place. People get uncomfortable when they sense someone else among them is not at ease...

Suzie, I think this is really, REALLY important. I've used the analogy of animals "smelling" fear, before. And it is so true. People are not uncomfortable because there is a man in a dress near them. In fact, a dude dressed as a dude, but "lurking" will cause discomfort as well.


...Now, just over 65, I want to pick it up again and get my legs back -- you've inspired me...

Rhonda, I'm glad for this! I started riding about 10 years ago. Got serious about 6 years ago. ANYONE can do this. The hardest part is starting. Commit to starting.


...You have set the bar pretty high.

Cheryl, I don't think so. There are so many here that go out far more often than I but they just don't write about it. I write about it because only a short while ago I thought this was an impossible thing and I was so wrong. We have to get out of our own heads.


I just want to encourage everyone. ... if you hold your head up and act like you belong you can do it. Get out of that closet and have fun !...

Yup. Just that simple


I wanted to add just one more thought. This is something I noticed towards the end of my stay. Each time I left my hotel room to go to out, I opened the door without a thought. I remember the first times I went out, I'd look through a window or the peep hole, I'd open the door a fraction and peek out to see if it was safe and it WAS safe all along. That little event, opening the door without knowing what was on the other side and being unconcerned is when you know you'll be fine in the wild world. How do you get there? Get out of your own head and answer these questions:
1) Are you hurting anyone?
2) Are you dressed appropriately for the time, event, venue?
3) Does anyone really care that you are dressed?

best wishes

[Rhonda Jean]

Confidence and your own familiarity with being out is part of it, but not all of it. The amount of "problem" you have when out is directly proportional to passability. Jennifer and Nadine are modest in that regard. There's just no way to ignore the degree of passability and it's relationship to the public reaction.

[Jenniferathome]

Rhonda, I agree that appearance is part of the equation. But I would argue that the proportionality you reference is not what you link. Maybe a log scale is more appropriate but certainly not a straight slope. I don't pass. I also don't stick out. If I was 6'5" I would be noticed more quickly, but at 5'7" and 150 lbs, I am noticed later. The bottom line is that I AM noticed. THAT'S where dressing for the time, location, venue, etc... is important, I think.

[Samantha2015]

Congrats on getting out there Jennifer and for the race. My legs hurt just reading about it LOL

[sherri]

First, I agree that putting yourself in outing situations without the option to revert back to boy mode is exhilarating and motivational. And I think it helps immensely in mentally and emotionally committing to and buying into our fem persona during the course of the experience. Makes a world of difference for me. I can feel myself actually becoming Sherri in such a self-imposed situation, and on those rare occasions when I can do it for extended periods, the longer I extend the experience the more fully and naturally that sense of self becomes. I can literally feel the pretense melting away as I begin to interact and function in the world in the way that feels most natural and genuine me.

Further, there are several kudos in order here. For one thing, I think we should more often congratulate "the normals" who may or may not be accepting of us in their midst, but at least are tolerant and behave accordingly. Positive reinforcement should go both ways as we break new cultural ground. And of course it is much easier to understand the success of your experience given how truly lovely you are, what good fashion taste you have and the relaxed, guilt-free, down-to-earth air of quiet confidence and self-acceptance you put in play.

Thanks for putting it out there in such a competent way, and thanks for sharing.

[Rhonda Jean]

Jennifer,
Again, you're being modest. I'll stick with my assessment, but to your points about confidence and being at ease with yourself... Back when I had long hair I spent a lot of time at a beauty school. Color and foil highlights, mani-pedis, facials... I spent as much time there as I could, mainly because there were a bunch of girls I got to interact with and over time I became one of the group (although I'm certain I was talked about a lot when I wasn't there). I don't remember exactly when this happened, but fairly early on when I started going there I told them I was transitioning. It just seemed that it'd be more acceptable to be TS and full time than a part timer. They obviously all knew I wasn't born female, but by them thinking I was TS, that gave me status that I otherwise would not have had. Funny that they'd often comment about how my boobs were growing (I did show all the cleavage I could muster) and they'd always say my hair took longer to take color because I was on hormones (I wasn't, of course).

Point is, I was comfortable with myself (the TS story aside), never gave a hint that I even had a male side, looked female enough that I didn't freak anybody out, and pretty much owned it. Now, you have to consider the venue. A beauty school is a pretty accepting place. I was often there for at least a couple of hours. Lots of interaction. They got more and more comfortable with me as they got to know me, then a new class would come it and it's start all over. It's all part of the equation.

There's a guy I see every now and then around town. Big guy, probably 65ish, balding, longish gray hair. Every time I've ever seen him he's wearing bright red nail polish and long nails. He's always with his wife. He's very gregarious, and engages a lot of people, particularly store employees who all seem to know him and seem to like him. People seem to not notice his nails. He certainly makes no attempt to hide them. I've heard employees talk about him after he leaves and they may comment on his nails, but not in a mean way. He just owns it in a way that makes many, if not most, people seem to just accept that he just likes long polished nails. Exactly to your point, I've wondered if this guy wore a dress, heels, and makeup, would anybody react any differently. In the settings where I see him and people already know him, I think there's be little change in reaction. At Home Depot he might not fare as well.

[Rachael Leigh]

So many great points here about being out there and for me and my experience I agree with what many here have said. I go out now what I would say regularly and I now have no fear of interacting with anyone I just go about my business as normal. I hold my head high and if there has been anything negative I have not noticed.
I think for many of us just as Jennifer says we dont pass 100 percent but if we dress and blend in with the other GGs its usually not an issue we dont get much notice.

[Tara Rushing]

Thanks for sharing, Jennifer. It sounded fun and exciting.

I will echo what you say about being out. As of a few months ago I was terrified and thought it impossible. The trick (as you noted) is confidence. Just being yourself and interacting with people goes a long ways. Yes the waitresses and hostesses know, yes the guys at the next table know, but if you are friendly and smile and act normal nothing bad happens and often times very positive interactions happen. I particularly noticed that women wanted to interact with you/me/us, just smile make a friendly comment and they seemed eager to chat about any and everything.

PS- you looked great as always in the pics

[Carmen]

Jennifer this is a very nice post, and timely as I had completed a 2-day trip en femme.
I find several parallels with my own experiences in public, namely that if you dress appropriately, be yourself and be confident about yourself and this will be the result.

I recently spent 2 days en femme traveling, dining, shopping and encountering many people along the way and no one looked at me twice.
I came to the realization that either I pass really well or people just really aren't that concerned about me. One reason is they are engaged in their own lives and we are merely a thought.
So when passing is no longer as issue I continue like normal and enjoy my time out in the real world.

I have a favorite term which is "forgot that I was dressed" and this is me 99% of my time out and about.
I recall those days of peeking outside before stepping out and now I just check my lipstick and hair and walk out the door with no hesitation.

Thank you for such a wonderful story.

[Sara Jessica]

Rhonda, I agree that appearance is part of the equation. But I would argue that the proportionality you reference is not what you link. Maybe a log scale is more appropriate but certainly not a straight slope. I don't pass. I also don't stick out. If I was 6'5" I would be noticed more quickly, but at 5'7" and 150 lbs, I am noticed later. The bottom line is that I AM noticed. THAT'S where dressing for the time, location, venue, etc... is important, I think.

This is why you are awesome Jennifer. You carry yourself with confidence. Style is seen as an important asset. Heck, you even seem to have a lot going for you in terms of genetics, proportions, etc. But when all is said and done, you (like many of us) are not delusional with respect to whether you are being recognized for who you are. You may be blessed to pass until the third glance. I can only hope that I come close to getting that far. Yet we are well aware that we WILL BE READ as being trans-something-or-other.

It is actually quite liberating when one accepts this reality.

Someday, I may have the privilege of being read with the likes of you (or Nadine, Rhonda, or others in these pages who I have yet to meet IRL).

[Lori Kurtz]

I don't mean to harp on how good some ... uh ... shall I say "nonstandard girls" ... like Jennifer and Nadine ... look. If I saw them in person, I might, as they believe I would, clearly read them as males in female clothing. I certainly agree that the subtle clues can be much clearer in person than in a photo.

So, that said, I wonder if there might be another factor at work, that causes people to refrain from blurting out any kind of acknowledgement that these are "dudes in dresses." We've all heard (and maybe some have experienced) the stories of people seeing a woman with a tummy bulge, and asking "When is the baby due," only to be told that the woman isn't pregnant at all. Eeek! So I think people tend to be cautious about assuming that what appears to be true really is true. I wonder if, when someone sees a woman with the too-broad shoulders or the too-muscular arms or the too-angular facial features, and thinks, "Hey, something seems a bit off with this woman ...", the person might be hesitant to say whatever thought is in his or her mind--regardless of whether the thought is something along the lines of "How dare you go out in public like this, you pervert," or "You're doing a lovely job of looking like a real woman. I almost believed it." What if she really is a real (but sadly masculine-looking) woman? Eeek!

[Jenniferathome]

Lori, I think some may give us the nod for this reason. just that tiny "what if I'm wrong" notion. But, like asking if someone is pregnant, you have to be in interacting mode to have that opportunity. So that "what if" percentage is pretty darn small. Mostly, people just go with the flow if you present like a woman would.

[Tina81]

Jennifer,
You're definitely a trail blazer both on the bike trails and in our hearts!
Tina

[Liz57]

Jennifer

Thanks for sharing your adventure with us. It sounds absolutely fantastic, well, all except all that bicycling stuff. Only kidding. Having had a heart attack I should be doing something like that myself.

The comment about confidence, I think that's one of those things that's easier said in retrospect. I know you and the others are right but I don't think I could not be nervous even if 1000 girls assured me it's so. I haven't even gotten the nerve to buy fast food at a drive thru yet. But that's beside the point.

We've all enjoyed living vicariously through you and it gives hope to us that most of the people out there aren't wanting to bite our heads off.

Thanks for sharing.

[msannacd]

That was a very inspirational read. Thank you.