Hot or not outed😵

[occdresser]

Hi everyone sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything-this site is certainly my home away from home. I don't know where to begin here ... Ok here goes . I'm sitting at the campfire enjoying myself when I get this message on my phone( yes this is someone I know) it says -- I seen your pic ( which is my avatar) on hot or not - she must have recognized me somehow. What are you some twisted your a sick your lucky I don't out you here and now. ... Her daughter seen it and showed her mom . So I'm sitting worried to h--- My questions are do I message her back and what do I say? Am I sick and twisted? Please give me some insight?

[Mykaa]

If you reply Id say your def outed, previous post has some relevance to I think, Good Luck.

[occdresser]

She is an someone I knew years ago in high school , I am recently divorced so I just have my kids , I don't want anyone to know ( which is to late). I've offered to help this person in the past. I use the Halloween excuse as much as I can - but I have dressed ore times than there have been halloweens lol

[anna kate]

First off, it's none of her business, if she has no attachments to you. You could admit nothing and deny everything. Or you could tell her that she has no idea how "twisted and sick" you can get, buzz off !!! I'd refrain from using cuss words too, people with couth know how to express themselves without them. Best thing though, would be to just ignore her, maybe she'll go away. Anna

[occdresser]

That is my initial thought for sure

[Judy-Somthing]

I would just say it's not me.
One thing to remember is when you take photos is to make sure there's nothing in the background that someone will recognize.

It's such a bummer that a lot of people think cross-dressing is sick and twisted. Like we're dangerous.

[Beverley Sims]

Do not reply, ignore her and her curiosity may fade.

Much later you could deny it if you cross paths again.

[ClaudineD]

To answer your original question......No & No.......don't feed the beast

[Alice Torn]

Judy is right. Things, cars, pets, furnishings, etc, in photo backgrounds can surely out us! Anna kate is right, too. None of her business where you post, and you have a right to.

[Alexa CD]

That sucks. This is like a worst case scenario almost. There is nothing you can do, don't reply don't do anything, and remove any excess pictures from the internet.

[Piora]

Mostly sound advice by other members here. Alexa's suggestion is a good one: remove everything you have on the internet, except for this site, and as a suggestion, maybe take a new pic for your avatar, with plain background that could have been taken anywhere at all, and doesn't show anything in the background that could make people realize it's your house or apartment.

[Sara Jessica]

How the heck did your picture get on "hot or not" and from there, how the heck did someone you know trip over it???

From there, time for you to control the message. Assume this person (for lack of a better word) will tell everyone you know. How does that sit with you? Are there people (such as your kids?) who you'd like to get to before she does? You may find that in controlling the message, you will discover allies who will effectively disarm anything this person tries to do to you.

[Robin414]

I won't bother asking the 'how', not relevant to your situation at the moment but I agree with the lay low approach for the most part.

If the point is pushed take it as an opportunity to perform an 'exorcism', take some time to put together a polite logical response and look at it as an opportunity to enlighten someone!

I don't doubt there are a lot of highly educated and we'll spoken ladies here who would be more than happy to offer some input for that approach.

[Tracii G]

What can she do really?
Nothing illegal was done was there?
If you actually are on hot or not I would remove your profile ASAP so her proof is gone if she decides to tell others and "out" you.
Do not reply to her for any reason "don't feed the troll" in this case.
If you have friends say "so and so told me this about you" just say "really are you kidding me?" or "oh she is crazy we all know that" and go back to talking about whatever you were talking about in the first place.
Act like its not worth your time or its insignificant and you could care less.
In the end she will look like a childish idiot and you will look like you don't give a squat what she says and it will all happen without you talking to her.
I was on a web forum in which 99% of the members were male and I shared a pic of a guitar that was from my photobucket account and a guy ended up seeing a girl pic of me I never took off of there.
He got back on the forum and started to hassle me calling me names and trying to poke fun at me.
He posted my girl pic on the forum thinking he was going to out me.
He made a post asking is this pic of you you faggot, tranny,homo MFer?
I responded to him in a PM and asked why he was being an asshole and he got really nasty with the names so I blocked him and told the mods.
I went back into the thread and said yeah thats me me so what?
Well that pretty much ended his attack. Other people called him out for being an asshole and said leave this member alone.
They were all very cool about it and I did come out and it has been fine ever since.

[larry]

Ouch ! I am curious. Have you looked Her or the daughter up on that website ? Could be interesting.

[Alexa CD]

I just want to add that this example is a huge lesson for anyone that is present anywhere on the internet. This is a solid example of why I don't post pictures including my face or any other characteristic that could link me to my pictures or my account. The internet is real life, whatever you put on here can come back to your real life if you're not careful. Pictures or text for example can be saved by other people and you can lose control.

OP do not act first, only react and only say something if you absolutely have to, only say as much as necessary no more. If you have prevented her from putting together any proof, any pictures, text, accounts or replies then you have saved yourself from significant damage. If allegations or questions are brought up somehow, which I somehow doubt, then it will be their absurd word against yours, though you will have to react with tact.

Number one rule is to not show your face, number two, a unique background, number three information strengthening the link back to you. Think seriously about your presence on the internet, people you know, have known or will know in the future may be watching. The internet is dangerous and it can and has ruined lives.

[Sallee]

I would just deny deny deny Even ask for the web site then I don't think it looks like me Just deny Maybe a twin lost sister or something

[Rachel Morley]

Lots of good advice so far, but pretty much everything Tracii wrote in post # 15 is what I would do if it were me.

[docrobbysherry]

Ignore her and laff it off if someone ever mentions it to u. "I didn't see the photo. But, I guess she thot it was someone who looked like me?" Or, "Who knew I had a twin sister?":heehee:

Don't say it was a Halloween stunt. Guys dressing up as women intentionally look comical and over the top. CD's DON'T!:battingeyelashes:

[occdresser]

Ouch ! I am curious. Have you looked Her or the daughter up on that website ? Could be interesting.

I'm now interested also

[Zooey]

If you were concerned about being outed, why on earth did you put your picture up on a relatively popular site where tons of people were guaranteed to click through and see it?

[Jodi]

I would ignore her completely--no response and block her phone #. If in the future, she were to ask you why you did not respond, your answer should be, " I will never respond to any one who calls me nasty things and/or threatens me. Get out of my life and stay out".

Jodi

[Clodagh]

Ignore her. Unless it is a very clear picture with little makeup etc., its hard to see how she could be certain it is you. Unless you reply to her she won't be certain, she is no doubt looking for some confirmation. Without it it will eventually slip her mind.

[Piora]

I just want to add that this example is a huge lesson for anyone that is present anywhere on the internet. This is a solid example of why I don't post pictures including my face or any other characteristic that could link me to my pictures or my account. The internet is real life, whatever you put on here can come back to your real life if you're not careful. Pictures or text for example can be saved by other people and you can lose control.

Agree 100%, Alexa. And it's for the reasons you list that I don't show my face on this site. This is the only place that I have posted pictures of me enfemme.


The internet is dangerous and it can and has ruined lives.

Indeed it can be. All closeted CDs should be very careful what we show.


Don't say it was a Halloween stunt. Guys dressing up as women intentionally look comical and over the top. CD's DON'T!:battingeyelashes:

This is so true. Years ago, a member here once posted that she was outed when she attended a hallowe'en party dressed in a 50s dress, complete with circa 50s authentic panties, stockings, garterbelt and bra etc. underneath. And of course makeup was 100% authentic as well. The "friends" who knew her as a guy in drab, who were at the party, were curious about how she was able to look so much like an authentic woman. After a few drinks, they started messing with her and lifting up her dress etc. They then realized that she was a CD, and she was outed. It's true what Doc says....guys who dress up as women for Hallowe'en go over the top to be funny and ridiculous. For example, they would wear their boxers or regular briefs under a dress and wouldn't shave their legs etc. Being an authentic female for Hallowe'en is usually a dead giveaway.

[Anne K]

It was a text. Ignore it. Who's to say you even received it? Good advice to sanitize the Internet and change you picture.

[Stephanie47]

I guess I'm getting older and more feeble with my advancing years. I had to go look up "Hot or Not." So, it's a site where you have to register. Then post a picture. Then get rated, thumbs up or down! Thank God I'm technically illiterate. I'll just echo the response from others....don't post pictures unless you are ok with being outed.

I'd just ignore the text. If she confronts you, then I'd ask her to explain what she is referring to. See if she shows you the pictures. Maybe she did not save them. If you are forced into a conversation, then ask her to explain what she has against cross-dressing or transmen and women in general. Don't be forced to defend yourself. There is nothing to defend. Ask her if she has issues with gays and lesbians also. Put her on the defensive.

Also, take down the picture. And, maybe you should take down your picture/avatar on this site too. If she or her daughter get inquisitive, they may decide to start perusing sites to locate you. As was said on another thread there are probably researchers, giggly girls, and others who are not a member of the cross-dressing and trans community on this site.


PS: I put occdresser into my search engine under images and your avatar popped up as well as pictures of other women of this site.

[Judy-Somthing]

I just did a Google search for (crossdressers) and saw my avatar and and everyone else's avatar I know on this site. WOW!

And one of my photos was one I deleted a week ago.

And I also found that some are unbelealable sexy. (No I'm not into guys) LOL

[giuseppina]

Sorry to hear of the epithets, occdresser. That is the primary reason I don't post pictures of any kind anywhere, password protected or not.

That said, this individual's actions reflect on her and not you. I would cease all contact and take appropriate action on social media accounts, email, etc. to block her. Anyone who asks can be told it reflects on their source that they would say anything.

[Tracii G]

I did a search and all I saw was fuzzy pics and was asked to turn off my anti malware and firewalls ummmm no.

[occdresser]

Yes this is what I did

- - - Updated - - -


Yes this is what I did

Nothing I don't remember anything

[Robin414]

I'm with you Tracii, didn't see much 😴

[lingerieLiz]

I don't see how anyone would recognize you from your avatar. Unless they know your house. It is too small. On the other hand who would they tell. Why were they looking at the site? When I was dating years ago I had a girl tell my date about my CDing. The date thought it was the most terrible thing that one could be. I teated her nice and didn't admit to anything. Just asked what she had said and why she would say it. She got drunk, passed out in my car and I took her home. The next day she decided that I wasn't the perverted animal that she had accused me of. I never dated the girl again, but did date the girl that told her about me. It never came up.

[Cheryl T]

Response... "Have you been drinking again?"....
"What is hot or not?"

Or "Sorry you didn't like the pic, guess hot is out of the question?"

[Tina_gm]

The internet is not a safe haven for identity. If someone is going to put a picture up, or any info, it's on there for pretty much anyone to see. I am about as closely guarded of my identity as can be. No pics, name, address, very very few have an idea of where I live other than general geographic location. Just for S&G's I typed in gendermutt on Google, and eventually came to my intro post on this site. IF someone does not want to be outed, pictures on the net is not a good idea.

[Lori Kurtz]

I agree with those who say to ignore this woman totally from now on, and remove any evidence that you can.
As for your original question, "Am I sick and twisted?" ... No, you're not sick and twisted. The horrible woman who is doing this to you is the sick and twisted one.

[sometimes_miss]

While I'm not going to claim responsibility for any disaster that results from posting on hot or not, I will admit to suggesting that people post their pictures there in order to get honest opinions of how they look rather than the automatic 'You look great!' responses that I see here. I will also admit that I would never imagine anyone posting their crossdressed picture on the net ANYWHERE unless they wanted to be out.

If you can take it down, take it down. But if anyone really wants to see it, and they know their way around the net, they'll be able to find it.

[ReineD]

If you want to come out, tell her the truth. If you don't want to be outed, lie. Tell her it's an old Halloween picture a friend of yours posted on that site as a joke, and that you're trying to have it taken down.

And then take it down.

[joandher]

Dont feed the beast,she is looking for confirmation that its you, say nothing

[Kate Simmons]

I'm late on this but offhand I'd say that the burden of proof is on her. :)

[Lexi_83]

It would be interesting to ask why she was on hot or not?

But I vote ignore.

[donnalee]

One thing to keep in mind is that search engines cache data, so even if you delete the originals, they still exist in that cache and can be downloaded.

[Amy Lynn3]

Do not respond, because it will only confirm it is you and you got the message. If you do not respond and are confronted by her, deny everything. Ask her questions when she ask you. For example if she says did you get my text ? You say... what text ? If she says the text, where I told you I saw you dressed as a woman on Hot or Not. Ask her another question.... like, you mean to tell me some lady on Hot or Not looks like me ? She might say.... I know it was you.... say I have always heard we all have a twin in the world some place. Tell her if you ever join that site you will look for the picture and get back to her. Don't allow an a$$hole like that worry you, and learn from this.

You get the idea to just keep her head spinning about what to think next.

[CatchQueen]

Quite the nightmarish scenario indeed...I'd just deny deny...

[Lexi_83]

Ex gf's are much worse, believe me!

[Mark/Rebecca]

I think Renie is correct (as usual!). Taking it down will be an obvious admittance of posting it unless you have an explanation. I would certainly take it down immediately and follow through with that answer. Maybe she will turn from foe to friend.