how do you see men and how do they see you when you CD ?

[stormy_skyxx]

Hello all,
I am new ..actually less then a year into cd, even if i started at young age, i made it real less than one year ago.
Since i started dressing up, and going out en femme, also since i opened a facebook account for my real , femme self i noticed that males can be very rude , and , often thinking only about one thing, actually i also received many nasty pic of their..ehmmm...man parts.
Is it just me or does it happens to you, girls, as well.
Or, is it the fact, that i am quite pretty, according to some biological female friends ?...
I like to be pretty and feminine as much as i can, but being harassed by men , really freaks me out
Thanks everyone.

[Alice Torn]

I see you are in Italy. It sounds the same as here. With my personal ads, and photos on those ads, many men send sex organ photos, some angry insults, most wanting sex. Some are nice, but quickly, show they want more than what i want to give. Very few true gentlemen. Some violently angry when i set boundries, or reject them, on line. I have only met three men in all my years, and set boundries. They were not that happy, but went along with them. Out in public, i was shouted at once, walking across the street. One man asked me to jump start his car battery with my car, and told his children to not look at me, while i hooked up the cables. Other cars hit horn at me. Most ignored me in public.

[stormy_skyxx]

Hi Alice
Thank you for your kind answer.
As you probably might know italy is not the best place on earth if you are a crossdresser ,even worse if you are a transgender.
It is something that i have learned recently, being on the other side, i never know people could be like that, i was more naive than i tought.
I will start to set boundaries as well
thank you as well for your advice
Gilda.

[Mykaa]

Me personally I have no interest sexual in men, I wear androgynous clothes out all the time, girls jeans, sneakers, western boots, I present male still. I present pretty well dressed I have to guess, I get stares from time to time, but have never heard any comments. If I was you Id make it clear I wasnt interested in that, presuming from your post thats whats going on.

Stormy I will add, You are very pretty. Also welcome to the forum, I dont think you'll find here to be any issue for you.

[stormy_skyxx]

Hello Mykaa,
and glad to hear from you.
I am quite happy to have friends allover the world whom i can be the real "me".
As for you, i have no interests, sexually speaking into men, friendship is fine to me anyway.
Thanks a lot as well, for your kind welcome and for " your very pretty " , that always something that makes me proud of my female side.
Yours,
Gilda...

[Jenniferathome]

I see men no differently if I am in boy or girl mode. They are men. The end. They see me as a dude in a dress.

[Mykaa]

Well Gilda expect a friend request when you get your 10 posts in, : ), we can never have to many friends.

[paulaprimo]

hey goomba, and welcome to the forum.
your profile picture is gorgeous! i also find that men really are
pigs and just think about one think. there are a few good ones
out there but very hard to find. i'm thinking the nice ones now
cross dress lol :)

[stormy_skyxx]

sure, friends are always a precious gift, especially the ones who truly can understand you...and i think here, it really matches my words :-)

[Mylie Taylor]

Facebook is bad, Grindr is even worse. I can see Why some women say "all men are the same". But some are nice and some are creepy, most are pervy. I avoid being someone's 1st experiment you really have no idea how they'll react, just like in public. Online at least you have a block button.

[stormy_skyxx]

Hello Paula, and nice to meet you.
what can i say ? i completely agree with your words :-).
I am just glad that, as a man, i never behaved such way..
You are stunning as well, if i can say, and thank you so much for your lovely words..

- - - Updated - - -

Hello Mylie Taylor,
glad to find so many nice people in here, and nice to meet you as well...
It is amazing for me, as, being on the other side, i never tought that could be possible...but well, life teaches you many things , and this is of course no exception.
On my facebook page infact it is now stated "I only accept bio women or "sisters", please men accept this"....
I was reluctant but after what happened i had to do it.

[Alice Torn]

WOW! Stormy! Very beautiful photo in profile. Yes. Sadly, men , the last 50 years, mostly were not taught to b gentlemen, to watch their manners, language, and how they treat women. And, sadly, girls were taught to compete against boys, lost their respect for males.. Females seldom become ladies. Males seldom become gentlemen recently. I think many of us CDers are trying to restore ladyness in ourselves. Some of us are true gentlemen in our guy mode, too, restoring that, too.

[docrobbysherry]

Stormy, u didn't explain if u r into men? Or, women? Or, both? Because that would make a difference.

I get hit on a lot on FaceBook. But, once I make it clear that I'm straight and not interested, the men tend to vanish! However, if u r into men, u mite appreciate some hanging around? And, on dick pics? I warn them NOT to send those.:Angry3: 3 strikes and they're BLOCKED!:thumbsdn:

U should learn to act like Italian women. They say, "No", in a way men'll understand it!:eek:

[stormy_skyxx]

Hello Alice and hello docrobbysherry
i am heterosexual, so to make it clear :-)
altough i have to admit that i enjoy looking feminine and dont mind a few, innocent looks from men...
problem is, that many of them do what they want despite stating clearly that i am not interested in them sexually, altough i always enjoy company both of men, women.
And yes, i probably have to learn on how to be more direct :-) .
By the way, to quote Alices post "Some of us are true gentlemen in our guy mode, too, restoring that, too. " i fully agree on that, i might have done mistakes, but i never tought about sending a girl pictures of you know what .
That said i wont mind at all the company of a kind man, but just as a friend....and with proper attitude...
Thank you all anyway, in few posts i just got to know many amazing and wonderful people...i am happy to be here..
so a deep, loud thank you from my heart as well to you all...

[Rachelakld]

I present as a "respectable" female, and I get a lot of respect back.
I know a few Trans - hookers who dress for sex, luckily that's what they get paid for.
So for me, it's about what you put out to the world, and the world returns it 10 fold.

People interprite things around them, the way that suits THEM the best, so an ar**hole will react differently from a nice person - that's life.

[stormy_skyxx]

Hi Rachel,
and nice to meet you.
Yours is a very good answer.
What annoyes me anyway is the fact , that according to men, in my country at least , a crossdresser is a guy who does that with the purpose of sex with men.
That is what really makes me annoyed, as they do not understand, that i do, cause i feel "me" when i am in my female mode....
that said, of course i dont go around in scandy clothes, as that is certainly not my goal and neither my nature....
My question was actually regarding if in other countries crossdressers are seen as individuals who do it for sex...
thank you again for your answer
Gilda.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

I quite enjoy men looking at me in a proper way but draw the line at rude comments

[IamWren]

Hi Stormy, welcome to the forum. This is something I have thought of off and on about since I started dressing about a year and a half ago. There have been times when my wife and I have been talking and she'll say "you just don't understand because you're not a woman. I have to always be on my guard"

Once... just once I ventured out of my car dressed and I got a glimmer of that feeling when I a man drove by in his car and slowed down to catch a better look. I don't know if he "read" me as a guy in a dress or as a woman he thought he wanted a better look at but it made me feel really uneasy.

There is a video on youtube of a male actor in Egypt who dressed as a woman to experience sexual harassment first hand. It was pretty scary and honestly I'm kind of surprised some of the other members of the forum who get out frequently and blend rather well don't describe situations like this happening. Perhaps it doesn't happen as often as i imagine it might?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stormy Skyxx :hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home.

When you put yourself out there on facebook you can expect the worst...:daydreaming:...

[stormy_skyxx]

Hello Blue Orchid and aBoyNamedSue and MissVirginia-Mae
That is pretty true, thats why i only accept girls only on it....no more men on my facebook profile
Regarding the rest, yes i am glad i joined this site as everyone has been very nice to me.
In real life well, it has shocked me that men can be so rude....the more am i realizing i am a girl inside, the more i despise my man self...
do that happen to you as well if i can ask ? hating your male self ?


Facebook is bad, Grindr is even worse. I can see Why some women say "all men are the same". But some are nice and some are creepy, most are pervy. I avoid being someone's 1st experiment you really have no idea how they'll react, just like in public. Online at least you have a block button.

[Tabitha_Sinn]

Hi stormy :-)

I have had a variety of responses when crossdressed. In one case, I came on to a straight man I knew while dressed. His response was to say that I "made him wish that I was a girl". In another case, after discovering that I was a CD (not a girl), he decided he wanted to dress up in my things and borrow my make-up and wig! LOL!

But...I have never had a negative response because of it.

As for how I see men while dressed, I tend to see them as a **** first, man second! LOL!

[Kate Simmons]

Unfortunately, it sometimes goes with the "turf" my friend. :battingeyelashes::)

[ClosetED]

Welcome to the Forum! This is a safe place to share your real self with other people. As in the real world, most here are heterosexual, but there are also who enjoy male partners, but at least here they are a bit more respectful in their invitations and accept rejection well. From your statements, it appears you are not interested in transitioning, but just enjoy the feelings you get from being pretty and visual attention from that - same as me. I have not ventured outside, but have posted hundred of pictures in the members-only section to get that visual attention safely. If you post in this section, it can be found on Google, as can your avatar, so consider that when choosing that. The profile picture is also member's only.
You are very pretty and much younger than I am - I have been programming for 41 years - since before you were born! But that does not stop me from looking fairly young and pretty (at least that is what I tell myself :) )
Enjoy the variety on the site - we all love feminine aspects and are more understanding than most men.
Hugs, Ellen

[IamWren]

In real life well, it has shocked me that men can be so rude....the more am i realizing i am a girl inside, the more i despise my man self... do that happen to you as well if i can ask ? hating your male self ? It's been a bit of surprise to me, too. Well, yes and no. I mean, I've heard of pretty intense misogyny against female bloggers, female gamers, etc via the internet. Being that I've never really gone out dressed I've never experienced it first had though. However, like the video link I posted and other reports and videos of women experiencing harassment that I've seen, it's something I am way more aware of now.

As for hating my male self over it... no. In fact, I like the male self. I like everything about my male self... well, expect for all this hair. :D

[Cheryl T]

I see men as men. I hope they see me as a woman, a married woman.
I'm not seeking their companionship, but I do hope they appreciate the woman I try to be.

[Teresa]

Stormy,
If you're not interested just stay away from certain sites and don't post pictures if you don't know the outcome.

You won't have trouble from this forum in that direction.

The attitude to dressing and sex is more to do with media attention they only want sensational stories, the reality is totally different, most CDers are heterosexual with partners and family. We're just wired differently so our gender is a little mixed up, of course it's different for TSs and far more complicated.

[Tracii G]

Oh yeah dick (penis) pics are very common to get on some sites.
I think its funny more than anything because if they are that lame,desperate or immature they need to be messed with.
I usually act like I don't know what its a pic of, or say you have a cute dog something like that.
They will skirt around for a few posts and say how did you like my pic I sent of my penis?
I say Oh is that what that was? I couldn't tell what it was a pic of. That is usually enough to get them to run off or call you a bitch and you will never hear from them again which is what you want anyway.

[Lauri K]

I also find that men really are
pigs and just think about one thing

Paula pretty much took the words out of my mouth, except I was going to add the word's "Hairy Stinking" in front of pigs :hiding:

[Lori Kurtz]

There have been times when my wife and I have been talking and she'll say "you just don't understand because you're not a woman. I have to always be on my guard"

I think maybe you've just experienced something that most GGs know all about, and that most guys know nothing about. We have the opportunity to experience--and understand--things that other guys don't.

[Mylie Taylor]

It's definitely an experience that we can spin into a positive. I've never hated my male self for being male but I have made vast improvements by being on the other side of the fence. If anything I know now that dick pic stock has plummeted because they've flooded the market with them, so I don't keep one locked and loaded in the phone anymore.

[Tracii G]

Sooo Mylie you have sent dick pics in the past? LOL
Pretty lame if you are an adult but I guess it sounds like a cool thing if you are 12 years old.
I had a friend tell me once chicks love when you send dick pics.
I asked him did you ever score a chick online by sending dick pics?
His answer was no but chicks dig it.
I had to laugh and say sure did work for you didn't it?

[Judy-Somthing]

Thirty eight years ago I would go out late at night and in my teens I was much more passable, OK in the dark of the night helped.
But on three occasions men tried to get me into there cars and wouldn't lay off.
What is it with some GUYS?
One time I hid under a car in my favorite dress and the guy came looking for me. What a douche! LOL!
I could have lost my virginity!

[TrishaTX]

I struggle with this one....I love women and I am married, for years I still sought sex with men because it was a quick way to get some validation out of crossdressing and being wanted...allot of therapy and countless hours speaking with the wife, I am closer to understanding me. Finding me first and finding satisfaction in me must come first...so in men today I hope they admire me...

[Mylie Taylor]

Sooo Mylie you have sent dick pics in the past? LOL

Yes, in the past.

Pretty lame if you are an adult but I guess it sounds like a cool thing if you are 12 years old.

Calling me a 12 year old on the internet is pretty lame then you spin it into basically a child porn reference.

As for your anecdote, I wasn't there.