Does your male side fight back ?

[Teresa]

The recent threads on gender states, are an important issue, if you struggle with the issues they raise, so I hope members don't mind if I put a lighter side to it.

We talk about male/female sides but on the whole most of us remain on the male side.
I began to think does the poor guy concerned really mind having his feet pushed into heels or having his parts put where the don't naturally go , or made to look sexy when he knows dam fine he isn't ? At times he just wants to sit and have a beer and watch some football but instead gets dragged out shopping !
The guy in me is compliant most of the time but he does fight back, he will keep wasting his energy growing hair, I keep telling him to save his energy for more important things like building extra storage space.
If I stir him up too much he'll go all macho on me, then I can look out for it !!
Saying not tonight , I have a headache isn't going to get far with him , he knows me too well !!

[Robin414]

Great thread Teresa, I'm living the gender fluid dream myself and I'm always looking for a little humor (ya think 😁 ).

Quite a whole ago just after the pink tornado, gender dysphoria, etc hit I completely switched back to that all macho guy for a few hours. I was heading to lunch with a buddy and I sat down, all macho 'n stuff and actually said "holy crap dude, I seriously thought I was turning into a chic 😠 " beating my chest (there's some background I left out, the confession wasn't as nuts as it sounds...ahhh, social media, kinda like having a conversation from Mars 😉 )

Anyway, the feeling passed after about 3 hours (ya, i actually timed it) and I was rummaging for my lipstick again...too bad we were at the golf course by then 😲

LOL 😂

[AllisonS]

Not anymore, at least not recently. My assumption, that has taken some time to get to, is that Allison is going to do what she wants to do. When there has been a power struggle, my male side loses. It just creates anxiety. At the moment, I'm good with this situation. I trust Allison. I don't think she would kill my male self off, but she could if she wanted to. I have not reached a final destination on this trip. Still learning, trying to trust and be patient with myself, trying to avoid stupid, consequential mistakes, all the while enjoying the experience as much as possible, which is quite a lot. One thing that seems to help is if my male self pays attention to his stuff and leaves Allison alone to think about her stuff. There is this other gender-less place I feel where I can get everyone on the same page in a "family" meeting... LOL I don't know if others feel that way. I definitely know when I am identifying as female. I definitely know when I am "being male". But there is a lot of time when there is no internal sense of gender. Its just not a factor. I don't think of all non-femme states as male states.

[Kate Simmons]

Can't say that it does as my feelings are balanced my friend. :battingeyelashes::)

[Tina_gm]

Kinda humorous. I am getting at where you are coming from. There is an odd truth to it all. I am finding it sort of like the pilot/co-pilot. They actually take turns most of the time. One "pilots" the plane on take off, the other will land it. But both take part in operations regardless of who is doing the "piloting" The one not at the stick will put the gear up or down, adjust the flaps etc etc. So, maybe somehow to take the edge of the one not operating the stick.... which sounds kinda deviant lol... always have them in the background so they don't feel so left out or pent up, or something.

[Teresa]

Gendermutt,
Maybe just losing my marbles!
I wonder if the analogy of pilots is a dangerous thought in my case I'm sure they would head in different directions goodness knows where the poor passengers would find themselves. Perhaps they could have some fun by mixing their luggage a little !!

[Cheryl T]

He wouldn't dare complain.
I'd just do his nails while he slept and then sit back and watch the reaction...LOL....

[Tina_gm]

Gendermutt,
Maybe just losing my marbles!
I wonder if the analogy of pilots is a dangerous thought in my case I'm sure they would head in different directions goodness knows where the poor passengers would find themselves. Perhaps they could have some fun by mixing their luggage a little !!lol, each pilot fighting the controls to take the plane in a different direction. It would be a turbulent ride for sure. " Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing in Pittsburgh in about 20 minutes." (the plane does a sudden sharp turn in the opposite direction) "Ladies and gentlemen, I am your captain, and today we will be flying on to Cincinnati. disregard the idiot up here with me, he's clueless."

[Tracii G]

I feel ya Robin I have done that around friends a few times.
They looked at me like WTH is going on here dude.
Teresa my guy side does rule on occasion and my girl side takes a back seat for a few hours.
She always comes back tho and tells the guy to go organize his panty drawer.

[TrishaTX]

every morning at the gym and every Wednesday at softball :)

[Judy-Somthing]

That is so cool. I like to think of Miss Judy as another person and that it's her fault my life is so crazy.
She makes me buy embarrassing girly stuff like makeup, panties (I love that word), dresses, heels, etc.
If I don't let her out to play, All Hell will break loose!

[Mylie Taylor]

I fought back at her bad habits. Now she keeps me as a well groomed, properly fed pet. We both walk away champs.

[Fiona123]

My male side is totally on board with Fiona. 🌺

[TSKimberly]

Every day. Haven't truly recognized that the female me still has all the same interests, hobbies, etc, as male me. Will probably never get over it. Oh wells.

[LydiaL]

Sadly, yes. Just today I had a checklist of to do's in guy mode in the big (well, nearest) city. A quick stop at an area wall-green outlet to pick up some Bourbon in their spirits dept.... I first succumbed to eyeing the rack of $10 sundresses in the main shopping area.

I had the hardest time not fighting the urge to finding/buying a new summer sexy dress from those selections.

Male side won round one.

BUT, not ruling out investing another gallon (or 2) of fuel in the car to return and leave with the latest, short, flowery, and sexy summer dress. Screw what the male side thinks!!!

Will my femme side win this one? Stand bye.

[Judy-Somthing]

Summer dresses, WTH SO cool, my wife says she'll never wear one.

[LydiaL]

Well Miss Judy,

The short, sexy, flowery, and clingy summer dresses are some of my favorites in the wardrobe.

:battingeyelashes:

[Ressie]

Fight back? not much! I think that side just steps in when it has to conform to surroundings, which is pretty much any time I leave the house. But I don't worry so much about my fem showing a bit, not like I use to. Did I just call part of myself - it?

I don't care for watching sports at all, but if I'm with male friends that are watching a game I might tag along. The problem is I know nothing about the teams or the players!

[Teresa]

Ressie,
I'm not sure why I chose football, I'm not that bothered about it, I prefer rugby !

I can't believe I use to play a second row forward at school, in those days I had legs like tree trunks, I prefer them now slimmed down , no hair, wearing stockings and heels .

[Stephanie47]

I think there is an underlying issue. That is "Why do I women's clothing?" The truthful answer is "I really do not know!" Right now I'm into the summer months of my wife being home...school teacher. My sequestration actually started six weeks earlier due to her having back surgery. I have not missed the usual seven hours a day I normally have to dress. It's not that I would have dressed every day, but, I would have if Stephanie was called upon to serve that inner need. Yes, she brings me peace and tranquility. I'm sure if there is some sort of emotional crisis that develops I will not be able to have Stephanie bail me out. I've never considered myself to be a "macho man." I've always considered them to be boorish. There really is not too much difference in attitudes between my male and female "components."

I really think a pure vanilla cross-dresser needs to at least try to figure out why he is drawn to wearing women's clothing.

[Dana44]

AS I have said my male side is almost secondary but today I had to put my britches on and go have lunch with my GF's cousin. Her man is one of those manly types, me, long hair in a pony tail , diamond earrings. But came off good as a male this morning. LOL yep was her all morning but had to act male. Went well and they are back on their way. They live in Arizona and pass through and we meet yearly for lunch.

[Ressie]

Ressie,
I'm not sure why I chose football, I'm not that bothered about it, I prefer rugby !

I wondered since you're in the UK. Is football over there the same as soccer? idk Teresa, I'm getting less manly as grow older. I just love music and CDing.

[JessieA]

There are sometimes serious internal discussions on various things but no real fights, though lately I swear the balance is shifting who is really the dominant one.

[JocelynJames]

I subscribe to men's health and women's health. Women's health says to train like a man, the estrogen won't let be gain big muscles. Men's health says to do a lot of strength training to burn more fat- I think they're both telling me to use weights so I can drop a size or two and not always rely on the(god I love em) corsets. It kind of makes sense?

[LydiaG]

I find that my male self and my female self are very aware of eachother and are happy co-existing unless im doing an activity that one likes and the other doesnt.... If im shopping in male mode my femme self wants to just takeover and buy all the pretty things. So i just need to do things to keep them balanced and not fighting eachother too much.

[Teresa]

Ressie,
Yes football and soccer are the same thing. Just to confuse things the commentators sometimes say rugby football, then we have rugby league which uses the same ball shape but some of the game elements are different and they have 13 players rather than 15. Then we have Irish football which is different again , to be truthful I'd much sooner watch downhill skiing and other winter sports.

[sometimes_miss]

Wow. Pretending to argue with yourself just to avoid facing that you're not the super duper macho man you desperately want to believe you are, is in some serious denial.

You're all girly guys, and so am I. And there's nothing wrong with it. Welcome to the 21st century.

[JeanTG]

You're all girly guys, and so am I. And there's nothing wrong with it. Welcome to the 21st century.

I wouldn't mind if all I was, was an effeminate guy. I think even my wife could live with that. But the problem is that my gender dysphoria can get in the way of contentment and happiness. When the pink fog takes over, it becomes an obsession, and an obsession is the very antithesis of freedom. Frankly I wish I could just be over all this and live one way or the other. However, going all-girl is not on, I know it won't fill the hole, and would put me into isolation from friends and family. Going all-guy would make me miserable and pining for the girl. If a doctor said "we can castrate you and you would be over these feelings", I'd go for it in an instant, even at the price of the loss of my sex life. Yes I am some serious unhappy over this.

But right now I am working on the notion that I *do* have a choice. When I get up in the morning, I have the choice to put on men's clothes, or women's clothes. If I start with a pair of panties, the pink fog gets triggered and takes me over. This morning I made the choice of male briefs. I'm going to try this for a while and see where it goes.

The issue isn't about being unaccepted by society (though by my wife and family, yes). At a certain age, one no longer gives a hoot about what others think. The issue is about accepting *myself* and being stable and free, not giving into the feeling of being overwhelmed by an obsession, and as a result, loosing my freedom. I hate being possessed by an obsession. It really sucks, I feel like a prisoner, even if physically, I feel wonderful in women's clothing. Mentally is another story. Yes I have sought help. No, it didn't really...

[Sarah Doepner]

Of course we have fights, it's still a relationship. I let him think he wins once in a while and occasionally he believes it, but in the long run Sarah always wins. Always.

And that just surprised me, consider it an epiphany and you saw it here first.

[Teresa]

Jean,
I understand what you're saying, I find it's improved since I've been able to go out and meet others socially, it does bring things into perspective.

After the serious threads I was trying to see the humorous side of our gender issues, but if it helps you to talk about your confusion please feel free . I know it's a balancing act , I asked in a previous thread if members were happy with their double life, that's how I see it and now have to accept it.

[Tina_gm]

Yeah Teresa. I m pretty serious with many of my posts, but once in awhile humor in all the craziness is good therapy.

[Crissy Kay]

Yes, I think sometimes he does!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Teresa :hugs: Most of the time when Orchid wants to play she gets her way,
But sometimes Mr. Drab is just too worn out to get Pretty...:daydreaming:...

[Andrea2656]

It odd but I do not feel the two direction pull. I think I am the same person dressed or en drab. It is just that I feel more comfortable dressed up; however, most often I am wearing Andrea's clothes without wig (don't even own one) or makeup.

[marlacd]

About the only time I feel the difference, is when it's warm, sunny, and my motorcycle calls my name. Then my fem side has to give in for a time. The call of road is just too strong a draw to ignore.

[AllisonS]

She doesn't like to ride?

[DMichele]

My male side does not fight back; it is secondary like someone said in an earlier response. For most of my life, I conformed to doing typical male things - following sports, drinking beer, and so forth.

Today I rarely drink beer, interest in sports has significantly diminished. I have found 'me' - ~60% woman and ~40% man. Since accepting that I am TG, I have been happier than I can ever recall. My only regret is I didn't come to terms with my identity 40 years ago, but I am not loosing sleep over the past.

My male side is happier in the subordinate role.

[Maria Blackwood]

Nope. Get home from work and male side says "I'm done. Body is all yours."

[TrishaTX]

Yes, by growing hair on my body

[marlacd]

She doesn't like to ride?

She does. She prefers the quiet smooth ride of the Gold Wing.

[Raychel]

Does the male side of me fight back, Never.............
it is the Dress wearing side of me that is screaming to get out.

The guy side of me is around only because of necessity. :doh:

[CarolynO]

when it's warm, sunny, and my motorcycle calls my name. Then my fem side has to give in for a time. The call of road is just too strong a draw to ignore.

When the weather is perfect for a weekend m/c ride(upstate NY,vermont) or when it's hot,humid...day to be out in the boat.He says "not on my time".He wins.

Most other times...when she wants to get out,he doesn't stand a chance.

[Angie G]

He wouldn't dare I'd kick he macho [edit] out the door.Hugs
Angie