question about dressing

[TrishaTX]

I am a crossdresser not fully transitioning...I enjoy my time in both views...My wife knows but I do not fully dress with her. Yesterday, we were out and at a restaurant which turned out to be more gay then a straight place. I hope I don't get flack for that comment. We had some wine and some pizza and apps it was fantastic....

The question, while we were there a crossdresser or trans person talked in , just a g string panty and shall on....I was a little embarrassed. I do think it was a bit out of order for a restaurant and I am not usually one to judge. Do you think we are held to standards like this? Do you think dress like this hurts us? I am not trying to attack , I am trying to see if I was too sensitive.

[gabyespinotv]

i thibk if you go to a restaurant...you should have some clothes on...is just appropiate...wearing a gstring to a restaurant is just weird, no matter what

[Jenniferathome]

It's inappropriate regardless of who is wearing it and yes it hurts all of us. BTW, there is zero chance that was a trans person. That was an exhibitionist who should have been asked to leave.

[rachelatshop]

Yes Trisha, I think that what that person did in not dressing properly, was not right no matter who might have been involved and yes when it is a Trans-person it most certainly puts a bad lite on all of us.

[Alice Torn]

Unacceptable anywhere.

[nvlady]

Had it been a GG it would have been equally unacceptable.

[sometimes_miss]

Having had spent lots of time in gogo bars, it wouldn't have bothered me at all. However, I also have to wonder if the folks who saw him, didn't first think 'transgender' or 'crossdresser', but instead, what an 'a$$hole': Those come in all varieties; straight, gay, trans, etc..

[Rachelakld]

For me - underware is just wrong in public (I don't mind nude if it's a nude venue).
For me, these people just make it bad for us, worse than mass murders make it, for gun owners.

[Teresa]

Trisha,
I would guess most people in the restaurant felt like you did, we all have a level of decency, nothing to do with being prudish, there's a time and a place for dressing like that !

One question did you see where the person went and who she sat with, I also wonder what the serving staff made of it ?

[Maria 60]

If we or someone here is not precenting themselves properly in public, I believe it's up to us here to tell our selfs want is appropriate in public and that's not how we want crossdressers to be looked as. As for your restaurant person, my only thought is, what is he trying to present dressing like that, what is the reasoning besides drawing attention? Hopefully your thread won't get pulled.

[Kate Simmons]

I think some people just have no taste, CDing notwithstanding.:)

[Mollyanne]

For that person to do something as STUPID as that just shows a lack of brain power, disrespect for other patrons and should have been shown the door by the owner.

Molly

[Piora]

I agree, exhibitionists like that hurt the entire LGBT community. It's fine to do that in privacy, or in an appropriate venue, where everyone is in similar attire (or lack thereof)....but in a restaurant?

[imnskirts]

Try to dress your age with style is the best

[karynspanties]

Yes it hurts us. So does going o Walmart dressed to the nines like so many here like to do. How many women do you see dressed like that when shopping or in your experience......going out to eat? A lot of gurls need to think before they leave the house.

[carhill2mn]

This sort of bizarre "dressing" contributes to the bad image that many people have of us. One "oh s..t wipes out ten atta boys" (or girls).

[phylis anne]

Yes it hurts us. So does going o Walmart dressed to the nines like so many here like to do. How many women do you see dressed like that when shopping or in your experience......going out to eat? A lot of gurls need to think before they leave the house.

interesting view but if I had my druthers so to say I think it would be better to dress to the 9's yes you will get attention but I don't believe it will be the negative attention of someone in their proverbial undies and in some venues a good way to get hauled off to the ol hoosegow

[Nancie64]

I have been out and about several times and try my darnest to be
As least noticeably as possible. Yes the owner of this place should have had the b___ to ask this person to please leave his place of business, but than, he would risk the chance of a lawsuit for discrimination since we have gotten so politically correct it stinks. I have been in a situation that I asked a manager of a business to ask a customer to leave because of this persons loud and nasty language since my children were small and did not want them exposed to that. This was years ago. Maybe one of the customers needed to take charge but than what? Some people are just idiots and let's hope that all on here use some common sense.

[msannacd]

It's rude to dress like that anywhere.

[nothingclever]

I agree Ms Anna. Very rude. If one of my gg friends dressed like that it would be just as rude. I think you should take it just like a gg would, that kind of attire represents a type of person and is no reflection on me or anyone with taste, self-awareness or consideration for others! I have seen a lot of pics on here of ladies with excellent taste, keep outnumbering those folks who obviously have weird attention needs or whatever's going on and don't worry, sanity will prevail.

[Jenniferathome]

...we were out and at a restaurant which turned out to be more gay then a straight place. ...

A gay pizza place?

[nothingclever]

A gay pizza place?

I don't know why, but that just made me giggle....:)


Okay reading this thread is seriously the first time I've laughed in days.....am I getting better or are these comments seriously funny? :) :)

[Heidi Stevens]

I'm sure all of us who try to interact with the public make an effort to look respectable. The question I have Trisha is: was this person wearing shoes with this outfit? If they were, they were not in violation of the ol' NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE rule! :doh:

[Beverley Sims]

I go with the exhibitionist thread, many try to wear a skirt and present as male, I think this is an exhibitionistic trait also.

[Liz57]

Shouldn't that have been atta girl, carhill?

[Lynn Marie]

Even though I'm fully capable of dressing quite provocatively, I feel a lady saves that for the bedroom. Classy old broads like myself have an image to protect. Lewdness and other nonapplicable behavior pretty much makes me want to avoid such venues.

[TrishaTX]

yes a gay Pizza place lol! it was very good and a very good wine list. I do believe she was a regular although a bot older than me (I am 50) and it felt very inappropriate. For me , it kind of embarraases me in front of the wife a bit , as I came out a few years ago, and she allows me out a few times a month. It just makes "us" look bad.

I think most of the place was used to her , but I certainly wasn't....Thanks for the replies ladies , I was afraid I might get some negative responses ...

[Lee Andrews]

Sadly when someone like this is seen by the general public it just reinforces the 'freak' stereotype most have for us.

[Vickie_CDTV]

They were only wearing a g-string and a shawl (?)

That isn't dressing inappropriately, that isn't being dressed at all.

Oddly enough, there was a guy in the media a while back who would fly in nothing but women's lingerie... I wish I was kidding about that.

[lyndsayalexis]

I really think we should dress up according to the age and try the best possible.
A month ago I went to a meet up group, everyone were nice dressed up but one person, she/he had a little dress that was way way too short , and for her age , it look ridiculous, and I was thinking, instead of presenting her self of same thing nice it look so bad, that the rest of attendance felt embarrassing.

[Alice_2014_B]

Weird.
I say dress for the place and occasion.
Your concern, in my opinion, is very understandable.
:)

[Lana Mae]

Very inappropriate for anyone, crossdresser or not,but especially for a crossdresser. Makes all crossdressers look bad! Lana mae

[Marcelo]

It's one thing to give an accidental panty shot from under a skirt or dress but I think that was totally tasteless and uncalled for - even if it were done by a GG. But if the manager of the restaurant allowed it then what can we say? That person probably knew that he/she could get away with it and has probably done it many times.

And was this in the Cedar Spring area? If so, that is probably not totally uncommon in that part of town and accepted because of the clientele. I've gone to the Block Party several times and never seen anything that raunchy but have seen a few men walking around in bras, panties, garter belts and stockings. And if I had a nice, athletic body I might do it myself with something tasteful and fashionable. So if you go to that part of town just be prepared.

Marcelo

[Krisi]

Sadly when someone like this is seen by the general public it just reinforces the 'freak' stereotype most have for us.

Exactly. For crossdressers, gay folks, etc. Unfortunately, everyone has the right to be or act stupid, even when it affects others.

I would have expected the manager to ask this person to leave (I was once sent away from a bar for wearing shorts), but if this was a regular patron, it might have been difficult. My suggestion to you is to just not go to places where the other customers offend you (and it would have offended me as well). Maybe call and tell the manager how you felt and why you won't be returning.

[BillieAnneJean]

Like it or not, we are ambassatrix for the LGBTQ community In The Eyes Of The General Population. If we are OUT enfemme and dressed like a stripper, the GPs may think that CDing is about sex. If we are OUT and dressed classy, then the GPs will see and remember us as such.

Dress any way you wish. But don't be naivete and think that it has no impact on the rest of the people that the majority lump us in to.

I choose to project as classy as I am able to. I am approached by GPs nearly every time I am OUT enfemme. I welcome the interaction as they pepper me with questions like if I am gay, transitioning, 24/7, married, and so on. I may be helping someone I never met.

[Tracii G]

How does a place of business seem to be more gay?
I'm not buying it, that person would get tossed out pronto being dressed like that anywhere.

[ReineD]

a crossdresser or trans person talked in , just a g string panty and shall on....I was a little embarrassed.

Wow, and they let them in? Even in restaurants near beaches, there are signs that say no bathing suits and shoes must be worn. Just a g-string and nothing else? How do you know they were trans.



Oddly enough, there was a guy in the media a while back who would fly in nothing but women's lingerie... I wish I was kidding about that.

Ha. I saw this on fb recently. The airline JetBlue asked this woman to change before boarding. And she was wearing short-shorts that covered her bottom like granny underwear:

http://globalnews.ca/news/2731951/woman-asked-to-change-outfit-before-being-allowed-on-jetblue-flight/

[Katie01]

Without knowing the backstory of why she's dressed that way I am holding my judgement. She may have had no choice for some reason. To me it bears similarities to how some people feel toward CD's in public. What do they know about why I do what I do?

That being said, I would definitely be uncomfortable with it and I t's likely she was just an exhibitionist which is inappropriate for sure... Not to mention the questionable hygiene issues!

[Beverley Sims]

I think a proper dress sense should be practiced at all times.

Exhibitionists are just weird in my opinion.

[NicoleScott]

A gay pizza place?

Gay pizzas are delivered through the back door.

[JenniferMBlack]

Yeah gay pizza places. They make square pizzas, like little ceases back in the day. Thays why he is wearing a dress. Lol

[Tina_gm]

People see this stuff and then we wonder why society has such a bad image of us.....

[Alice Torn]

Yes, NVlady, unacceptable regrdless of sex or gender.

[ReineD]

Oh c'mon people, stop with the gay pizzas already. Yes, there are neighborhoods in some cities that are frequented by the gay community. We have one in a nearby city, and there are three or four blocks of restaurants, cafés, bars, outreach centers, etc where the patrons are predominately gay or lesbian. This is the area where my SO first started to go out in public many years ago. She felt safer there in the beginning.

So please stop ganging up on Trisha TX.

[Krisi]

Without knowing the backstory of why she's dressed that way I am holding my judgement. She may have had no choice for some reason. ...................

Are you suggesting that she was originally properly dressed but someone stole the rest of her clothes but she was about to starve to death and needed a pizza to survive?

Of course she had a choice. Don't go out to a restaurant in a G string. Think about these things in advance. If she was someplace where her clothing was appropriate and wanted to go where it wasn't, go home and change clothes.

[reinasblack]

Was it lingerie day are pajama day?

Hundreds of Thousands of people walk around in underwear on lingerie day.
It was a crazy weekend to see that everywhere.

a famous club called club lingerie .that's what the dresscode is there and its popular.no regular dressed people allowed.

In West Hollywood the gay capital of Los Angeles the social norms are different.mostly Gay guys practicing club hopping happens much on the weekends and the club days Tuesday/Thursday.
Police won't do anything. The community standards are different there.

[Roxy]

I've been to several street festival/fairs in SF where something like that is not uncommon.
The fact that you didn't know the pizza joint was frequented by gay fokes, maybe it isn't normally, makes think some event was starting later that day and he was an early party goer.
To say the least, it would be very odd otherwise.
Just a thought.

[audreyinalbany]

no shoes, no shirt, no problem????

[ReineD]

Seems we've lost TrishaTX in this thread. I hope it wasn't all the ribbing.

[Leslie Mary S]

I am going with the Majority. Inappropriate attire is always wrong regardless of why or who. I am pretty sure most of us dress to fit in not stand out. Shucks, any of us girls that stand 6 feet tall (bare footed)or higher, already stand out. Let me try to go out into the public when my support people are around, the first thing I have to do is pass a head to toe inspection, including event appropriate make-up.
I am sure most of you also check yourself to make sure you have everything right.

[SophieLiz]

When I first started looking for other crossdressers online, I initially turned to twitter. In two years I have only found two other crossdressers on there willing to converse and the majority seem to be showing pics of themselves in female attire but with their genitalia out. I have a feeling this is why when I'm online I get plenty of requests for me to "show my dick".

Not a chance Mr. I'm a lady.