Alzheimers

[whowhatwhen]

My grandma has alzheimers and my mom doesn't want me to tell her I'm a trans.
This has lead to some... interesting issues.

The thing is that I seem to pass ~90-95% of the time and she will always see me as a boy with long hair.
I'd love for her to know but I don't know if she'd even remember, but it's so awkward seeing her go on insisting I'm a boy and people not believing her.

Any ideas?

[LeaP]

Let it go. If it truly is Alzheimer's and not some other type of dementia, she won't be with you for more than a few years. As for the others telling her you are this or that, forget it – you can't manage everyone anyway. Let her enjoy you as the boy with long hair. Introducing change now will only add confusion to someone who is already considerably confused.

(My father died of early onset Alzheimer's at 63. We let a lot of things go. My risk of incurring it is given at 50%.)

[whowhatwhen]

I just found out my mom wants me to always be my deadname around her side of the family until she essentially forgets everyone or dies.
Am I wrong in being upset at this?

I'm not expecting my grandma to understand and I wouldn't care if she got it wrong, it's just that I want to be free of all this finally and forever.

[LeaP]

I don't blame you about being upset with your mother. My comments really only pertained. I don't blame you about being upset with your mother. My comments really only pertained to the situation with your grandmother

[phylis anne]

This can be a toughie ,
my wife has alzheimers/dimmentia and there are still a few things that can be serious triggers so it might be best for the greater good if you did not directly reveal your other self to her the situation is going to become evn more streesful as time goes on ,then again maybe not everyone is different in how they are affected by it ,some people go through the disease pleasantly confused ,others like my wife it was open warfare until the breaking point came and I was forced to have her temporarily commited so as to evaluate her ,which worked out for the best a regular md is very limited to resources so it took some in depth treatment by the psych folks and she is now handling things better and the stress levels at home have calmed immeasurably over this last year good luck
hugs phylis anne