How do you see yourself?

[Mykaa]

So Ive been thinking, I had my eyebrows waxed yesterday, 1st time. they were just cleaned up, defined I suppose.Im happy with the result. I look in the mirror and I just dont like what I see somedays. I dress and cover myself up and wear things I like. I go out in clothes I like on me. I am very comfortable with certain aspects of this, other things like going out in a dress not so much. I know things take time. I can tell you when you talk to me, your getting me, not some person who enjoys the anonymity of being unseen on the internet. Have you ever wonder what someone else sees? I wonder, am I ugly? am I to forward? Part of my dressing emulates something I think I'll never have. Im not rich, I work hard, Im loyal, am I a good friend? I like to think so. Im not a big guy, Im tall and slender, I view myself as just enough to get someones attention, but not enough to keep it. I wonder what it is I lack. My metabolism has always been fast, I worked out off & on for about 4 years trying to gain weight, I ate 6-8 times a day. I gained 10 lbs the last year, It came off a lot quicker than I gained it, I suppose these are many of my self doubts just being talked about.

I suppose Ive had more good days then bad since I accepted myself. Im sure we all have these feelings from time to time. I woke up last night about 3 am and for some reason these thoughts were floating around in my head. Maybe writing them down will help get rid of such things....

[NewBrendaLee]

I see myself with a beautiful person who is trapped inside of me .My female side is way more caring and nurturing.

[docrobbysherry]

I know what I am. A female impersonator.

In photos and my mirror I can appear to be a very attractive female. Judging by the responses I get from men on Sherry's FB page. :daydreaming:

Out in public is an entirely different matter. I can present a very sexy, shapely figure. But, with on old man's head on top! Not attractive! :straightface:

Still, if I was attracted to men, I could score plenty online and in gay, T friendly clubs. But, I'm not.

How do I see myself? I've only been dressing the last 18 years. So, I'm still working that out------:brolleyes:

[Alice Torn]

A bit conflicted. Very tall blue collar man, but very loving toward animals, try to love people, but its hard. I see my self when dressed as Alice, as very tall, classy dressed 62 yo lady, but the huge hands, huge feet, voice, tell that i am impersonating, as DRS put it, a lady, but i do see myself as a tall 62 yo part guy, part gal modeling classy dresses, and skirt combos. Conflicted, Always, and i admit i have bi polar, depression, and have had a very abnormal , anguished life mostly, with some good times once in a while.

[lmildcd]

I see myself as a guy who likes to wear women's clothes from time to time. I know I won't pass as female and I don't try to.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

i see myself as someone who is stuck in the middle of feminine and masculine
i wish i was 100% either way and since i am married to a wonderful woman
i wish i was 100% male but my brain tells me otherwise

[Robin414]

OK Giselle, you took the words right out my mouth, all of them.

What Giselle said!

[Tracii G]

I see myself stuck in the middle most of the time but when dressed I feel more the way I was meant to be gender wise.

[Dana44]

I am feminine and masculine. Yep a gender bender. Will never know what it is like being CIS and well love it for ho I am.

[Katey888]

I'm a sensitive guy that adores women but has a slightly wobbly gender compass...

Sometimes I feel an inexplicable desire to do my best to emulate all that I admire and desire in the expression of female and feminine imagery - most times I just want to adore women in that normal, physical and 'hands-on' way that most men do... :o

Talk about conflicted... :eek:

And while I agree that self-acceptance is key to a harmonious life with this condition - the challenges of that are a lot like addiction... tough to balance, manage, understand and reconcile... particularly in a world (the cis-world) that just cannot comprehend how, why or what we're feeling when we're driven to do this... but at least we know now that we're NOT alone...

Time for that first glass of the day, I feel... :wine:

Katey x

[paintmepink]

I am awkward and I stutter. I have a very hard time talking to everybody. I'm very bad at shooting the breeze. So instead of growing a pair - I pretend I don't have any when I'm all alone. I try my best to be a man but I can't drive, I have an extremely small friend pool, and I don't know any women as friends. So I'd say awkward. Very awkward.

[Judy-Somthing]

When I dress I need I need three hours to put on full dress, makeup and wig.

Last week I had six new dresses I wanted to try on but only had an hour, not enough time for makeup.

Well I put on hose and hip pads bra and forms, then the first dress.

When I looked in the mirror, let's just say it was far from a turn on!

Miss Judy,

[TrishaTX]

In the mirror! LOL Well as I get older I see myself more clearly each day, I like being a guy most of the tim, but I need to be a women some of the time...

[susan54]

I see myself as someone who looks good in a dress, not as a woman, even a temporary one. I am slim with great legs and I can do female body movement but I am happy for people to know I am a man. Women who have seen me as male and female say I look better in women's clothes and one said she saw me (in a dress) as a very elegant PERSON. That is enough for me.

[marlacd]

I'm me. Sometimes fem, other times no. My fem side brought out the authoress in me. My male side hates to write anything more than a note. My fem side nags the male side to be more tidy. My male side reminds the female side to be more thrifty. Both sides keep me smiling.

[Fiona123]

Transgender, crossdresser, husband, father, man, woman...all in no particular order.🌺

[Piora]

A decent, honest, caring, intelligent guy.....who just so happens to enjoy wearing women's clothes in private. But, I like myself. I'm happy. No regrets.

[Teresa]

Mykaa,
When I see my male side I'm OK with it but I much prefer to see Teresa, I enjoy the effort that goes into it , taking better care of myself searching out outfits and shopping for them. I do sometimes wonder how SAs see me as I guy shopping for my femme side, only a few days ago I found a nice pair of gold heels in a charity shop , the SA asked how I was doing when I went into the changing area, I told her if they fit I'd show her and I drew back the curtain, I didn't realise her husband had entered the shop to see her so there I stood in gold heels, they were both great about it.
I will add that CDing gives me the incentive to take care of my weight and fitness level, I'm not a big guy but love being a size 12 in femme mode.

Katey,
So good to see you about again, but drinking that wine will make your compass swing in various directions, it won't be your gender that's the only thing that's wobbly !

[phili]

Hi Mykaa,
I see myself as a manx comfortable with his body, and who feels drawn to,comfortable in, and happy to adopt in some measure the clothes and manners and feelings expected of/permitted for women. I feel it this is a hard earned asset, not an embarrassment, and that anyone who doesn't like their cultural gender training can take heart from my example, and step out as I am and enjoy life!

Phil

[StefaniLara]

I see myself as a man who wishes to be a real woman. I'm more myself as Stefani, but I've learned to play the part of a man enough so that no one questions my manhood. Physically, I wish I could lose enough weight to pass. I'm too top heavy and would love to fill out more around my hips. In short, I'm an impersonator, but I'm not always clear who's the impersonation.

[sometimes_miss]

I've known ever since I was out of high school that I would NEVER look good as a female; not with this build, not with this body. Simply can't happen. As a guy, however, size has it's advantages, so I made use of those when in drab.
Insecurity strikes everyone. The trouble arises when we try to be appealing to everyone; but that's simply an impossibility. No one's attractive to everyone. So just make the best of what you can, and find a way to live with that.
It appears that a very large number of crossdressers worry greatly about how they look when they go out en femme, truly believing that they can find some way to pass if they only get that one, last piece of the puzzle solved. And yet, the truth is, nothing they do will help. There are far too many give aways to solve that problem. So just enjoy what you're wearing, and learn to live with that. I don't usually go out en femme; but the one time I did, to a party at my therapists house, surrounded by lots of other crossdressers and TS, I wasn't critiquing everyone else's appearance.
Someday, eventually, we'll all be able to wear whatever we want, and few will bat an eye. But that day hasn't come yet in most places (there are some places in Manhattan I can think of where you can walk right past a crowd, wearing practically anything you want as long as no private bits are hanging out, and no one cares at all).
We wear what we do because we think we look good that way. Often, we are wrong; just watch normally clothed people going by on the street, and think of how they might have dressed better that day. So what. It's just clothes. Stuff to keep us warm, or keep our skin and body parts covered & safe.
And that's good enough.

[Jane G]

For too many years I saw myself as a woman trapped in a man's body. I was sure I was TS. I took hormones for a time. Then aged 40 something going on 50, I realised I just love the way women look and wish to emulate that. Life has been so much simpler since then.

[Kathy Smith]

I'm me. I don't suffer from gender dysphoria - I'm quite happy with my body (although a couple of inches off my waist would be an improvement!). However, I'm not what some would call a "man's man". I've no interest in ball games, cars, motorbikes or whatever. I've finally settled down to the realisation that I'm much happier if I can dress as a female for at least part of the time. :)

Someone on another forum commented that she dresses from the inside. I like that. When I dress up as Kathy it's Kathy's personality that comes to the forefront. Bob is still there, of course, but he becomes less important for most of the time. Effectively I become Kathy. Likewise, in Bob mode, Kathy is still there to some extent.

I don't know how convincing I am really, although some people have told me that I am. I seem to be able to wander round the shops and travel on trains and buses so I suppose I don't look too horrendous. :) I have definitely been spotted by one member of a group of youngsters, but at least one of the others was confused. lol

[ChristaB]

I am comfortable in man mode and I spend the vast majority of my time there. I would consider myself masculine, but was always way too thin in my early years. But, I've fleshed out a little in middle age. In femme mode, and with quite some effort, I can present as a somewhat attractive and proportionally figured late forties woman. Proportional, other than the fact that I'm quite tall and have big feet and biggish hands. That's where it lands on the physical side. On other side I am somewhere in between. I'm quite accepting that I need to be the tough business guy in the office making the emotionless decisions that they rely on me doing. But what I long for is time by myself when I can be emotional, caring and compassionate. This is the part I find most compelling when dressing, letting release my feminine side.

[Martha G]

I see myself as an attractive and very passable woman when dressed. I feel and look younger. I enjoy dressing and presenting myself as a mature woman.

[msniki48]

My Sentiments exactly Giselle

Stuck somewhere in the middle, and wishing i could just be one or the other so that I could stop the questioning in my head....

hugs niki

[CarlaWestin]

Well, all of the clothing, silicone, shoes and makeup give me the tactile feel, weight distribution and visual female markers that make it easier for fuzzy imagination to complete the transformation.

[Kate Simmons]

Personally I think you are just right Mykaa and a person well on the way to self assurance. I greatly admire that in a person.As for myself, I see just a person, nothing more or less. :battingeyelashes::)

[ClosetED]

I see myself as a lover of what current society call feminine - I love to see the feminine curves, the colors, pretty face, long hair, shapely legs, perfume, painted nails. I was given a body that has most of those natural features and yet society says I am not entitled to the other add-on elements as I am genetically male. I am not ugly as a man, but felt socially outcast growing up. A bit of Asberger possibly, but not enough to meet criteria. I was too thin and did not usually attract women to me and did not learn how to play the mating game.
I don't wish my sexual organs to change, but wish to be free to make myself happy by making myself look like a person who looks the way I think is better looking than the drab me. I look younger, shapelier, happier, can wear clothes that show off rather than hide my better features.
So I see myself as a person who can look decent either way, but society is putting a large barrier in my way of doing so. Yes, because I care what society can do to me and the people I care about. If I (or society) did not care, then there is no stopping me.
Hugs, Ellen

[crossdlalam]

same here

[irene9999]

I'm not sure if it's because I've never been a big, huge guy, but being thin I've always gravitated towards crossdressing cause I have the frame for it and it makes me feel pretty! I like the way this side of me looks and it satisfies the femme side of me I guess

[Lily Catherine]

I have been wandering, I am but lost. In the mirror, I probably don't pass as much as I'd like to. Whether I am attractive or not isn't for me to say either.

I'm comparatively scrawny as a guy, which makes me a petite girl. In fact, I don't have any trouble getting female clothing in my size.

I'd like to think I'm the same person regardless of what I'm wearing, but I think I'm a great deal more self conscious (for better or for worse) when I crossdress.

[Janine cd]

I see myself as a 70 something old male who has been living a false life trying to convince myself that I am a real masculine male. The fact is, I have never been able to pull off the
illusion. Only when I am dressed and in my female personna that I can truly relate to whom I am.

[GBJoker]

I see myself as some one who needs to stay in the shadows no matter whats going on.

[Kristy 56]

A square peg in a round hole. I like both sides of me, but the femme side is unfulfilled. If it wasn't for this site there wouldn't be anyone to relate to.

[Mykaa]

Interesting replies, I was hurting a bit when I posted this, funny what draws a response here sometimes, we all have a journey, I hope I dont step on someones toes on my way. I was a bit angry yesterday, today not so much. I dont know why people come in & out our life at times, just kinda tired of those that get and not give. I suppose the bonus is someone to talk to at times.

Who am I today? I am me, I'll leave the house today with a smile, go do my work and think about buying a wig. Shes going out soon. I know this, I'll make some more new friends soon. WHo will they be? I dunno, gonna be a surprise. :)

[Kate Simmons]

A friendly person will usually make friends my friend. :battingeyelashes::)

[BrendaPDX]

When I dress up, I look into the mirror and don't recognize myself, I like the way I look but I am not an eye catcher. When I go out I tend to shy away from others but those that see me generally don't take a second look, so I am not as pretty to others as I see my self. Sigh...

[Taylor186]

With respect to crossdressing, I see myself as a guy who enjoys wearing women's clothing from time to time. I don't pass, ever, but I work hard at a passable presentation whenever I venture out.

[NewBrendaLee]

When. I dress in fem I see my true self

- - - Updated - - -

I see my true self when I am dressed female

[NancySue]

Hi Piora, You've described me too. I've quit worrying about the "why's", and just do it with enjoyment. I'm happy that this has given me the opportunity to explore my feminine side...and I do..Ha !

[jim1991]

It is rough sometimes to look at myself in the mirror but in the end I just be me and if I feel like wearing a dress I will wear a dress if not I am in a suit.

[Mickitv]

I feel that I am very lucky because I think of myself as beautiful and handsome. I love being beautiful and try to keep myself in that frame of mind but reality always sets in the says wait a minute. Although during those beautiful times I am very happy

[Janine cd]

I see myself as an aging male who tries to put on a female personna. The effect is sometimes disappointing. On the other hand, there is a glimpse of femininity caught in an occasional look in the mirror. Sigh! I wish that the look I see was really me.

[TakaraYu]

I see my self as just human, I never give it much thought, I do what I please(within the bounds of the law naturally) I have only one life after all. why not have some fun with my roll of the dice.