Feelings about going full-on out to the world.

[carrie001]

So especially after the tragedy in Orlando I've had feels about want to come out to more people. To show I'm not afraid or ashamed of being TG anymore. Also to show my support. I doubt I'll go full-on out to family and work, but I think I'll definitely be expanding the inner circle of trust. I came across an article on Buzzfeed and found out I'm not alone.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/people-are-coming-out-as-lgbt-in-response-to-the-orlando-att?utm_term=.cpQqyEb1y#.qrkeY5JqY

I'm curious if any others have had similar thoughts?

Also why haven't I seen any discussions about about the shooting at Pulse? I was heartbroken and I can't imagine I'm the only one.

[Cheryl James]

The tragedy in Orlando has, certainly, been in my thoughts the last few days. I attended a crossdresser meetup at Pulse three, or so, years ago (I posted about the evening on this forum). The pictures and stories have caused me to consider the possible outcomes when I venture out into the world. The fact of the matter, though, is that we live in an increasingly dangerous world. Something like the Orlando massacre could happen anywhere, anytime. Any venue that attracts a large number of people for any reason is a target-rich environment for a person or a group whose goal is to inflict as much death and destruction as possible on our population. We should be prudent, of course, but I don't think that never going out is the answer. Maybe others have a different view.

[Amy Fakley]

Without a doubt, our culture (at least in the good ol USofA) is becoming increasingly hostile toward LGBT people, especially the T as hassling the LG&B folks has become politically unprofitable of late.

I still live in an extraordinarily conservative and intolerant community, and unfortunately my livelihood and the quality of life of my family depends on my ability to integrate into that community, so coming full out publicly still isn't a thing I can do. What I can do is to contribute financially to organizations like HRC, who are working to combat this BS on our behalf.

Another thing I can do is start planning my escape from this backward place I somehow have found myself living in. The massacre in Orlando has lit a fire under my arse in that respect. It will be years in the making, but I will pack up my family, and go find a community that I can fully be a part of. This one will be poorer for it. I might not be Bill Gates, but I do generate wealth. Quite a few other people in this community pay their mortgages off my blood sweat and tears, and I cannot bring myself to continue supporting a community that would not have me if they really knew who I was.

That being said ... put things in perspective.

Your chances of dying by a terrorist attack in America are still about a bazillion times less than being hit by a lightning strike. Random violence due to "existing while trans", is probably more likely, but you still have some control ... just being circumspect about when and where you go can reduce your risk immensely.

I guess what I'm saying, is that the news makes it sound like a war zone out there, but it isnt. There are very real dangers and concerns, and we need to fight back against that stuff for sure. But it's still safe to go outside :-)

[docrobbysherry]

If u mean that it's time for everyone to take sides in this escalating war on LGBT folks, Carrie? I agree.

But, that means different things to different folks. Since I live with a paranoid daughter and have a schitzoid ex, they were worried about crazies after I told them about my dressing 3 years ago. So, I promised not to do anything that mite attract attention to them or where we live.

Since I'm a closet CD and have no intention of "coming out", I'm good with that!

[2B Natasha]

Dr. RS. How can you say your not out? You go to conventions, you go to Hamburger Mary's heck! You had a film crew from the UK come into your house. Interview you and then go out on the beach!!! That is not in the closet

To be OP. A lot of us are out and about. But I S'pose your not talking to us really. I'm one of those. The out and about ones who is out to the family and friends that need to know.

I think the Pulse tragedy is in the news section. Look there.

[Helen_Highwater]

Also why haven't I seen any discussions about about the shooting at Pulse? I was heartbroken and I can't imagine I'm the only one.

There's a thread in the media section.


Without a doubt, our culture (at least in the good ol USofA) is becoming increasingly hostile toward LGBT people, especially the T as hassling the LG&B folks has become politically unprofitable of late.

That being said ... put things in perspective.

Your chances of dying by a terrorist attack in America are still about a bazillion times less than being hit by a lightning strike. Random violence due to "existing while trans", is probably more likely, but you still have some control ... just being circumspect about when and where you go can reduce your risk immensely.

If you, and I don't mean to be disrespectful to the memory of the victims, set aside those killed in 9/11, deaths associated with terrorist activity number about 30 per year in the US. Other violent deaths >30,000. One of the things the terrorists want to achieve is the disruption of our way of life. To scare and frighten people into changing how they go about their daily lives.

Yep you need to be sensible and stay aware but as a CD'er you're far more likely to be harmed by some neanderthal knuckle dragger than a terrorist.

I wasn't surprised to hear of the attack. IS has a proven track record in targeting gay people so coupling that to attacking "Western decadence" was in some ways inevitable.

And I wouldn't focus too much on the haters as they have the same effect. A group having an effect way beyond their relatively small number. Look how many people queued to give blood following the shootings. I'm sure not all were LGBT, just people seeking to help other people.

[Pat]

After any event like this there's a tendency to see the world as suddenly becoming less safe, but I think the level of (un)safety has been pretty steady-state. And, yes, he chose a gay nightclub but he scouted Disney and probably other venues. For whatever reasons he decided he'd be most effective at Pulse. As we say in the Boston area, he was a sick baastid -- and he was going to go off somewhere.

By all means, use it as a motivator to get out more. Let more people know we exist, that we're harmless and that the world is better, not worse, for having us in it. And more than that, get your freedom; live authentically (seems to be the new buzzword) and have more joy in your life. Honestly, that's why I do it. ;)

[Ressie]

Those coming out on the buzzfeed link are mostly teenagers with the oldest being 28. Coming out at age 60+ isn't for everybody. And to me, coming out means coming out to the world, family and friends included. You can still go out en femme away from home - without fessing up and possibly losing friends, job, etc.

[MelanieAnne]

I honest to god don't believe all the mass shootings are even real. Canada has now forced certain channels to broadcast garbage news seven hours a week. More garbage programming and more in your face coverage of more mass shootings. Gimme a break.

I and a lot of other people were puzzled how a lone shooter could shoot 100 people killing 49 of them with such accuracy, with so many people running all over the place, in such a short time. Although he was in the building for three hours, most of that was holed up in a bathroom, with a few hostages. An off duty Orlando police officer, working security at the club, was out in the parking lot, dealing with an under aged drinker. When he heard the shots he ran into the building and confronted the shooter, who took refuge in the bathroom. Three other officers quickly arrived and backed up the first officer. So the shooter was not at large in the club long enough to shoot 100 people, before being chased into the bathroom by the cop on security, where he remained for three hours before being killed by the SWAT cops. Yesterday, the police admitted that some of the dead were killed by the police! Still unexplained is how the shooter managed to get past door security with a long gun and a pistol. And many of the victims reported several shooters. Also, the shooter in his three calls to 911 said the shootings were prompted by the americans killing Muslims all over the middle east. This was not reported by the mainstream media, in their attempts to make it look like a hate crime against gays, which it may have partially been. Also unreported initially were so many alleged victims seen on TV video running toward the scene, with no apparent gunshot wounds. These mass shootings always seem to come at a convenient time to coincide with certain politicians gun control agendas, or when the government needs a distraction from some other event.

[Lorileah]

OK Kids. The tragedy has a thread in the lounge. Go there. The OP asked about going out

[MelanieAnne]

Currently: Male To Female Crossdressing 110 viewing!
The Lounge 1 viewing!

Not gonna waste my time reposting!

[L0vleyme]

So especially after the tragedy in Orlando I've had feels about want to come out to more people. To show I'm not afraid or ashamed of being TG anymore. Also to show my support. I doubt I'll go full-on out to family and work, but I think I'll definitely be expanding the inner circle of trust. I came across an article on Buzzfeed and found out I'm not alone.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/people-are-coming-out-as-lgbt-in-response-to-the-orlando-att?utm_term=.cpQqyEb1y#.qrkeY5JqY

I'm curious if any others have had similar thoughts?
.

I am in the same boat. I have recently been walking the line of just getting over my fear of what others would think. With everything going on right now, pulse, bathrooms, etc. And seeing more and more people showing pride in being themeselves, I have decided to live a more authentic life.

My wife is with me, and said my choice in clothes dissent bother her, and I am free to express myself how and when I want. I still have some mental hurdles to get past, but came up.e from work earlier this week, put on my athletic shorts and went about my evening, doing yard work and so on.