Stigma against (male) Crossdressers.

[TakaraYu]

So since I tend to do research on things that interest me, I've already seen some of the believed reasons for the negative stigma that male CDs tend to get.
But I was curious, have any of you ran into those stigmas on things like outings, and what not?

[paintmepink]

I got called a little boy. Mostly people are just shocked. I never got called a fag or anything really mean.

[Jenniferathome]

To date, I have had zero negative experiences when out.

[Dana44]

I never had any problem out and about. But I think now that its on more people minds now. It may change out there but I do blend and pass fairly well. So, I hope when I go out now I won't run into any problems.

[Teresa]

TakaraYu,
No not a single comment ! In fact it's been the opposite, nice comments about outfits, possibly some surprised by how I do look . They have an odd image of a guy in a dress making a fool of himself and realise it's not like that .

[Rachelakld]

I was once in a rough part of town, someone shouted abuse from the other side of the carpark, his mate moved him on.
On Nation news, someone caused issue on our main city street, the cross dresser was a black belt - the abuser needed medical help (phone cameras are great for catching the action, got broadcast on all our chanels), so people don't harrass CDers much now.

[Kate Simmons]

I think in many cases here, some of us would really have to be acting "out of place" for that to happen. :)

[BrendaPDX]

I try to pass as much as possible, and not attract attention to myself, just blend in. No problems at all, but again I don't push it.

[sometimes_miss]

Post was edited, and useless without the terms initially used. So, no info available, sorry.

[kendracd]

yes many times, I have been called not so nice names, but I have learned to ignore ignorance

[Stephanie47]

Sometimes_miss probably sums it up best. I am closeted which is my personal choice. When overhearing conversations I hear a lot of negativity. Some of the negativity is based totally on ignorance...a total lack of understanding. Women seem to be more less belligerent than men, but, it seems most women are accepting with the proviso...Not in my back yard. Men? Not accepting. I get the impression men feel transwomen or cross dressers are somehow an affront to their personal masculinity. Men tend to be really crude. It's always interesting to be the "fly on the wall" and listen to the crap that is espoused. I've been out and have engaged humanoids only on Halloween. That is not a representative foray among the masses. A comment or two on how nicely I was attired. Some laughter at the total concept of a man in a dress.

These days I would not venture into a Target ladies' restroom because the non accepting feel embolden by others of their ilk. As a cross dresser I feel total compassion for transwomen for the ignorance and hatred they are enduring.

[Alice Torn]

I was OMG!! at once, by teenagers. A man I gave a battery jump start to, told his kids to not look. i hear comments when in drab, by family, and others, that it is sinful, deviant, gay, yada yada. I tell them but for the grace of someone, there go you, and that we all have things .

[Amy Lynn3]

Many, many years ago I was called :edit: by some teenagers at the mall, as I walked by.

[Helen_Highwater]

Women seem to be more less belligerent than men, but, it seems most women are accepting with the proviso...Not in my back yard. Men? Not accepting. I get the impression men feel transwomen or cross dressers are somehow an affront to their personal masculinity. Men tend to be really crude.


Even if a man has "kinder" views on CD and Trans folk it's very difficult in a group situation to be the one who stands alone and speaks up. You risk the attention being turned on you, becoming the butt of jokes and innuendo. It only takes one bigot in the group to start this off.

As for unkind words, I've never had anyone say anything to me. A few puzzled looks yes and the odd SA who's shall we say less than chatty. Apart from that nothing.

[ReineD]

We've had very few negative experiences. Most people who do disapprove are good about keeping their opinions to themselves and frankly, the majority of people out in public are busy with their own lives and they don't scrutinize every other person that either walks by or sits in the same restaurant.

But, I have encountered some people who notice that my SO is not a GG and when that happens sometimes we get double-takes, sometimes they'll stare until they catch me staring back, and only on a few occasions have I detected smirking or one person whispering to the other. We are always treated with respect by service personnel (wait staff, SAs, people in ticket booths, doormen, etc).

Still, experiences vary depending on where you go out. Some parts of the country are more intolerant than other parts.

[Tracii G]

Over thinking things and trying to put everything in its little box will never end just so you know, no matter who you talk to you will never find an answer.
There is no rhyme or reason for why we CD it is just something we do.
The sooner you let that notion go the better.

[reb.femme]

On the limited times I've been out, I haven't heard a thing. Just one SA, issuing the numbered tags out for the Dorothy Perkins changing rooms wouldn't engage in conversation with me at all, but I think she goes through life sucking on lemons.

As Tracii said, no point in over thinking things. Everyone you speak to, even within our own community, has a different slant on this thing that we do. No point therefore in trying to reach a consensus as there doesn't actually appear to be one. I prefer to consider the relative merits of jam-doughnuts and cream cakes with a cup of tea. A very British thing to do :).

Becky

[Sometimes Steffi]

I can't recall anyone actually saying anything to me, but I have seen the looks.

We have this regular meetup in a hotel lobby or restaurant/bar. This women are usually very willing to converse with us. But the men ... They are often very standoffish, as though if they come to close, they might "catch" what we have. However, even many guys have wanted to be in pictures with us after they figure out that we're pretty harmless (and sometimes kind of cute).

[Ellie Summer]

I only have a little bit of experience so far with going out, and most of it was shopping for dresses while dressed as a man. Everyone that noticed was polite enough not to stare or make a big deal out of it. The worst thing that happened, and this was really mild so I'm not even sure I could count it, was that when I went to the dressing room, the lady gave me a ticket with the number of items I had, and sternly told me to go to the right where the men's dressing rooms were. I took this as her being uncomfortable with it and wanted to make sure that I wasn't using it as an excuse to sneak into the girls dressing room. I thanked her, and went on my way. The cashier had a pretty dissaproving tone in her voice too, but whatever. Like I said, it could have been a whole lot worse than that! I think it's one of those things that people just don't get yet, and part of that has to do with the way cross dressers are portrayed in the media. Buffalo Bill anyone? I don't watch a lot of TV, so I don't know if there's been a CDer on modern shows, but I was really impressed with the way David Lynch handled David Duchovny's character on Twin Peaks. He shows up dressed as a woman, agent Cooper is naturally surprised, but just says "well, that's just fine by me, good to see you again!" with a pat on the back. As far as I remember it's never mentioned again until he dresses like a man again. There's a single line acknowledging it, and they move on. That's what I think we need more of. If the characters treat it as no big deal, we treat it as no big deal too. I'd argue the same thing about Trailer Park Boys. There is a gay couple on the show, but with all the insults flying around between characters, not once is there a gay slur, or any degrading comments about them. They have relationship triumphs and pitfalls, people try to get them back together, etc. I actually had a chance to meet them in person and told them how much I appreciated that they were able to make it part of the show and allow us, the audience, to just treat it as it should be, any other relationship. Maybe we'll get more cross dressing characters in the future.

[Robin414]

Like 20+ yrs ago I had some goof ball yell at me as he was walking to the obvious entrance to a venue "Is this the way to the door!!?", I ignored him (he was obviously 'chalenged' and heard his nurse (SO) tell him to "leave her alone!" still not sure what to make of that one 😐

Fast forward 20+ yrs though, I find people are actually quite respectful and even friendly 😊 (I avoid biker bars, known ISIS sympathizing countries... and churches BTW 😉 )

We're not the 'norm' but we're really nice people and often have a really interesting story to share 😉