Dressing where you live

[Heisthebride]

I have become fairly comfortable dressing in public. I will attend shows, perform shows, even spend several days on vacation en femme. Last night was a new first for me. I went to a show which was about five blocks from my home and my wife and I walked there. In the past I would have parked my car in the lot close to my unit, and quickly snuck out to my car. There was a small chance of being seen, but I've only ever been "caught" by one neighbor to whom I explained things. He was totally fine with it.

Last night was totally different. We went out at 7:15pm, in the summer so sunset wasn't for another 90 minutes or so, and we walked through my neighborhood which is a fairly busy part of downtown. There are about 7 restaurants within 4 blocks of my house. On Friday I am helping with a show and I will probably be alone and do it again.

My point, I guess, is that with this new found confidence I am even more likely to be seen by my neighbors now and some of them have children, aged 4 to 8, who might see me too. I'm not sure if I should talk to them first or just let it happen naturally. They are all very open minded and don't have a concern about them knowing. I don't dress all the time, maybe four times a month.

Comments?

[bridget thronton]

Once again your experience shows many people do not care (but you look so good dressed they may not suspect)

[Alice Torn]

Some cities, towns, and neighborhoods are much safer than other ones. Some places, you would not dare go out dressed,as you would be harrassd, and maybe assaulted or killed. Other places, no dangers. The towns all around me are small, and i would not feel very comfortable, as enough people know me, and there are very few old over six foot tall women in small town Illinois. They mostly go to the big cities, like Chicago.

[docrobbysherry]

No, I don't go out where I live.

If my neighbors see me, (which they have), I don't know what they know or think. But, since we don't socialize, I don't really care!:tongueout

[Heisthebride]

I feel safe in my neighborhood, it's up and coming, trends younger, and in a progressive city. I feel safe, so no worries there.

I do socialize with neighbors, we host a take out night at our unit most of the time. Anywhere between 4 and 10 regulars show up for dinner and talk every Thursday night. Three different families have young children. I don't dress for these occasions but I am somewhat likely to run into these people if I do dress and go out.

[flatlander_48]

The house we left in New York State didn't have a garage. When I would leave the house dressed, it was out of the house, down 4 steps and then a 5'-10' depending upon how close I parked. It was all in plain sight, but I didn't stop to see who might be watching. I wouldn't have been easy as the house was in the middle of an acre, but the sight lines were clear. But, I didn't much care as I didn't know the people anyway.

Our new house has an attached garage. Now when I leave dressed, I get in the car and then open the overhead door. All well and good until I prepared to go to the Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast last month. I got into my car but the battery was dead!?!? Not a problem as I borrowed my wife's car. BUT, she had left her car outside of the garage, so if anyone happened to be looking at 9am or about 11am, they saw DeeAnn in a pretty yellow dress with a black hat, purse and heels. No one has said anything, but it wouldn't make much difference to me anyway...

DeeAnn

[Heisthebride]

I live in a loft space in a condo association. Common hallways, secured entry doors, and a common parking structure. Leaving the front door is always an adventure in who I might run into. There is a small parking lot near my unit where I have tried to park if I know I'm going out. I've been pretty lucky so far but I'm more open to being seen now.

[rachelatshop]

Hi, You are lucky that you live in a city that is so open minded. I live in a very conservative community, for example I went a town meeting last night and there was an item on the budget to help repair the church steeple where the historic TOWN CLOCK has been housed for more than 100 years. I gay couple spoke of their strong disagreement in supporting in anyway that church because in the past the Paster gave a speech to the members of the church telling them how gays were abortion on God's creation. I wouldn't dare go out here because someone might recognize me and I would not be able to live with the fall out.

[Allisa]

My neighbors know of me and I shop at local stores and other venues. I'm seen all the time when leaving the house or returning and unloading my vehicle. Just last week I mowed the lawn in my casual femme shopping clothes(girls on and very noticeable) if anyone was looking than they also saw me hanging up my laundry en femme that included some skirts and tops. I no longer care what others think it's my life and I'm going to enjoy myself.

[marlacd]

I stay in, because I live in an evolving, but still a blue collar town. In a left handed way, if I dress in drab, I'm as fem as most of the women, and I'm not trying to at all. It really kinda depressing.

[leannejacobs]

I live in a very small narrow minded town, there is no way on earth I could go out in public, apart from my enclosed back garden, fortunately I work away from home and frequently get my fix out in public.

[Heisthebride]

Went out again Friday night to help sell burlesque schlock at the show. This time we drove because it looked like rain.

On Saturday we got all dressed up and had tickets to the late show. I was wearing my new black slinky dress and low heels because we were walking. The late show was at ten so it was dark but we walked down the main road and past maybe 15 other people going about the Ssturday night. No comments, no weird looks. The show was amazing, there was a very good live band accompanying all the dancers. After the show we chatted with the performers and walked home around 12:30.

We passed a bar right near our house and we were going in for a drink and someone outside asked about my purse. Turns out we were at the same show and invited us in for drinks. We were ther until about 1:30 chatting it up with our new friends. After the bar we sat out back on our patio enjoy sing the cool breeze.

It's 3:20 am and after getting out of my makeup and into my leopard nightie. I'm sitting up in bed enjoying a late night snack with my wife.

A full night out in the neighborhood dressed to the nines, at a show, at a local bar, in the backyard. So much fun and not a single bad moment. I love it!
262842 262843

[Charlessa]

I live in the Deep South. so far, nobody has said anything when I go out dressed. I'm not trying to pass so I stand out even more in female clothing. even though nothing has been said, I always feel nervous about a pack of hicks seeing me and starting something. but it's just so fun to go out dressed. I don't do it a lot but it's so much fun

[Sarah Beth]

Where I live there is almost zero tolerance for anyone or anything different in any way. I have enough troubles with my opinions on things around here without anyone finding out I cd. I still have some people here who won't talk to me because I befriended a gay guy who lived across the street from me.

[Stephanie47]

Going out en femme is an "all depends" situation. It depends where you live. It depends on who your neighbors are. One of the things I did notice about your situation is having a wife on your arm. I think the general public and neighbors are going to view a cross dresser with a wife differently than "the man in a dress" who they do not know. In my small city of 200,000 there has been an instance of men attacking transwomen just because they did not like her looks.

[StevieTV]

I'm in a small town where rumour spread like soup on a rug. The thrift store I frequent knows as I purchase at least one femme item each week. My neighbour has seen me in short shorts and shave legs. Nothing mentioned. I'm at the stage where I live my life as me. If anyone asks, I tell them. If they can't deal with it, they can seek therapy.

[RobertaFermina]

Everyone's experiences and circumstances are different.

If you are "beyond the Pink Fog", then your good judgment is in full effect and you are quite safe to trust yourself about what risks to take, and which to avoid.
I was playing dress-up in the bathroom one day, and it was getting time to pick up my grand daughter from the babysitter, whom I knew to be a very sympathetic woman.
I live in the SF Bay Area, which is pretty liberal, and the police don't condone LGBTQ bashing if they know what's good for them.

So I just picked a sensible dress, and drove to Starbucks to get an Americano to steady my nerves, then drove to pick up g'daughter.
I walked into the babysitter's house as Roberta and she was shocked, and then transported with excitement and joy, and our relationship went to a more heartful level.

Your mileage may vary .....

[Angie G]

I don't really have a fear of going out dressed But I'm a very private person so I just don't go out in my neighborhood.:hugs:
Angie

[lingerieLiz]

Every neighborhood is different. But I've lived all over the USA. I think every place I've lived people have known. No one can tell you what your neighbors will think or do. In the last many years I live in a very conservative area. I've been out for several years. Awhile back I went to a meeting with some neighborhood women. Because of the rain I couldn't wear my jacket as it was dripping water. The sweater I had on was thin and left no doubt that I had a bra on. No one said or indicated anything than I was another member of the group. I was invited back for the next meeting. So only you can judge what the reaction will be.

[Candice June Lee]

My neighbor, an elderly man in his eighties, has spoken to me on several occasions. Every time I'm enfem. Female sunglasses, breast forms, women attire for yard work. Has to this point not ever said a bad word or looked at me funny. Not sure what he thinks, but unless he tells me, it's none of my business. Most folks I've ran into don't really give a hoot, with the exception of a very small few.

[CynthiaD]

All of my neighbors have seen me en femme. When I walk out the door, 90% of the time I'm fully en femme. It's impossible for my neighbors not to notice. I have no idea what they think about it, and I don't really care.

[NancySue]

We live in a smaller town here in the Bible belt midwest. Simply put, getting caught would be a total disaster. I'm at the "totally dressed" stage of this compulsive behavior. Fortunately, my wife supports me for which neither one of us understands what it's all about. For me it's feminine pleasure. We occasionally, after dark will go to a near by city, find a mall and have dinner, see a movie and, of course, shop. We are VERY careful...VERY, but it is exciting.

[Mickitv]

I use to live in Philadelphia and I had a professional makeover and girls night out. I was extremely surprised how people just look and really pay no attention to you. It also caused me to become extremely relaxed being dressed. I love it and would love to do it again sometime.

[Eryn]

I've been going out for a long time now and remember how fearful I used to be, including hiding in the back seat behind tinted glass as Mimi drive us out of the neighborhood. I had a strict geographical no-fly zone in my hometown. Slowly my attitude has changed. I stopped sneaking out to the car. Now Mimi and I take evening walks around the neighborhood and go everywhere in town with me dressed. Nobody has been anything but positive and friendly to us.

Now I regret the time I spent in a prison of my own making.

[Michala]

I live in a fairly small town and it's pretty conservative in many ways. I don't go out dressed and probably never will, but if I did I don't think it would be a problem. I do know that a couple years ago a CD or Transexual (not sure which label was correct for this individual) moved to town. I never got to know him/her but I do know his neighbors accepted him and he/she never had a problem in town. This person wasn't very feminine but did wear neutral woman's clothes and bra lines were often visible. He/she wore no visible makeup and hair that was not styled but longer and straight.

I also know a few gay people in town and they are never treated any differently. Occasionally there may be a few people in town who are obnoxious but they are that way to everyone, not just the few who choose to live a different lifestyle. Perhaps lots of areas are more accepting than we give them credit for.

A couple weeks ago I had to go to a larger city and spent the day dressed semi-female. That means I was wearing shorts that were commonly worn by both men or women, a looser fitting golf shirt that was actually a woman's shirt but the only difference I see is the side of the buttons. Sandals that are neither masculine or feminine and neutral. The most feminine item I wore was a 44b bra that I measure for and it fit me nicely. When I looked in the mirror I could tell that my breasts were larger than without the bra but not huge and no straps were showing. During the day shopping I watched for any reaction from other shoppers or SA and never noticed anyone staring or any reaction that made me think they were thinking something was strange with me. I even went to a golf shop and tried out a new club and was assisted by a gentlemen who brought me several different fairway woods(metals) to try. Leads me to believe that others are correct in that most people don't spend a lot of time studying others are are busy with their own life.

[Dana44]

When we go out. our pickup trucks are outside in the driveway and we confidently get in the vehicle. I am sure some neighbors have seen me and never said nothing. So far it has been nice out there and the current political climate seems to put a focus on us. Hope it does not change. My SO has told me that when you are out they see what they want to see. So if you are out as a girl. That is what they see. So I think the feminine display helps us, because we are projecting feminine aspects of ourselves. But if you dress in drag, perhaps that causes problems.

[Rachelakld]

I remember when I was young, while I never spoke to the homeless trans lady, I always knew by her smile that she was friendly.
Decades passed and her without money or family, living rough, but everyone had a nice word for her.
When she passed, a lot of my city turned up for her funeral.
She was part of who we are

I think it's good for us to be part of the community