Since my wife knows about my cding my feelings had changed.

[Devi SM]

I've been cding in fully for around 12 years. Sometimes more often with some interruptions for different reasons.
It always was a sexual more than a gender thing. It really used to turn me on just to wear panties, of course the more I dress or more dressed there was a huge satisfaction and more desire to have sex with men.
Since I said the truth to my wife my sexual desires had shifted. Now when I dress I feel very comfortable with my self. I don't have that urgency on have sex with a man but there's a deep feeling of fulfillment when I dress but those dirty homosexual desires had greatly dimished.
Who has had similar experiences or how could you explain what I'm living?

[twelvestepemily]

I'm fully closeted and haven't ever disclosed CDing to an SO, but can definitely relate to sexual desires shifting as you described, so just my thoughts... Personally, I feel like although the sexual component was more pronounced since I went through puberty, there's always been both a sexual and gender component, and the sexual aspect just really distracts from the gender component because the feelings are so strong and hard to ignore. Whereas the gender component is more of a subtle undercurrent. I think maybe revealing this part of yourself to your wife and gaining her acceptance has also allowed you to accept this part of yourself and connect with your femininity in a non-sexual way.

I'm still working through understanding and accepting this myself, but that the divergence of feelings related to sexual and gender separately is something I've definitely felt and think it has evolved that way due to the way my own acceptance of this part of myself has evolved.

(Also, congrats on opening up to your wife! I envy being able to share yourself fully with someone you love!)

[Fiona123]

Initially crossdressing was an intensly sexual thing for me. I'm 60 and have been a closeted dresser since age 10 or so. Over the years the sex part had morphed into a part sex part gender thing.

I have to disagree with one thing in your post, there is nothing dirty about either the gender or sexual aspects of crossdressing.🌺

[Rachelakld]

always comfortable in girl mode.
As to sexual desire, well sex should be fun and if the opertunity to have fun with a male ever comes up, I probably won't be scared like when I was younger. Nah, wife would kill me so best not.

[TanyaWonder]

Wow, nice. I never noticed that, but if I recall correctly, the desire I have to dress and homosexual thoughts may have somehow diminished and shifted towards less sexual and more something like "meh, I dress girly big whoop" after sharing it with both my ex and current girlfriends. Nice :thumbsup:

[Tracii G]

Being gay I find it strange how some of you say "when I dress enfemme I want to have sex with men".
Why not admit you are bisexual all the time?

[LelaK]

Oo, the only way a man could be attractive to me is if he looked like a woman and behaved somewhat like one. And, even then, I'd have (practically) no sexual interest.

[Devi SM]

"I have to disagree with one thing in your post, there is nothing dirty about either the gender or sexual aspects of crossdressing."

You're right Fiona, I agreee, for me there is nothing dirt in sex, if both agree, but its ridiculous that we can't talk about sex openly, so what I tried to say is I was very promiscuous and all i wanted while dressing was sex with men, even the desire with my wife declined a lot and the only way i would had sex with her was thinking on men.

Twelvestepemely: you're right,

Now I better understand the difference between gender and sex orientation.
I keep liking to have sex with men but it's dramatically change and since I haven't had sex because my wife requested it I don't know how it'll be if that gets to happen.

"Why not admit you are bisexual all the time?"

Tracii, the first part of my confession to wife was to admit i'm bisexual. I enjoy sex with man, versatile, bottom or top, mainly bottom, dressed or acting straight, but that madness and hanger to be with a man has diminished really high,

[Charlessa]

when I started crossdressing it was with panties and was a sexual thing for me. as I grew older and crossdressed more it became clothes and just who I was. now I wear even more clothes from the other side of the store. it's just me.

[Teresa]

Vanessa,
May I ask if you are a late onset CDer , if so did something trigger the sexual needs to be with a man ?

The reason why I ask is my CDing started at the age of 8-9 years, possibly testosterone kicked in early but the combination of a girlfriend, clothes and sex combined to lock it in my brain. Now I admit I'm bi-gender not bisexual, I have no interest in men in an intimate way. If my circumstances had been different and an outside agency i.e. an boy/man had been involved I may have been bi-sexual. I do believe our first sexual experiences locks something in our brains for life.

[Mollyanne]

I can only speak for myself in that when I first started to cross dress (the year that the ark was built) it was purely sexual. It very slowly changed from sexual to gender identity. I rarely and I mean rarely feel that sexual excitement when I am dressed but I do feel feminine. I like how my chest looks, I like how my legs look when I'm wearing stockings, I like the way I present when I'm in a skirt or dress, I like the way I walk in heels. Realistically, I LIKE presenting as a woman and do so as often as I can. My most deepest desire is to become the woman of my dreams. At my age, sex is a distant memory but at least I still have that memory.

Molly

[Devi SM]

[QUOTE=Teresa;3958580]Vanessa,
May I ask if you are a late onset CDer , if so did something trigger the sexual needs to be with a man ?

Teresa, I don't know how early my cding starts, I remember my self playing with my mom's lingerie as bra, panties, wearing them as early than before nine years old. That birthdays is clear in my mind because we moved to a new house that day, so no birthday party.
Then being a teenager playing with my sister wardrobe.
I had my first girlfriend at 15, a lot of sex with her, so may be that put for a while my cding dormant.
Of course being married at 19 , living with a woman that wakes up again and I start wearing panties in a daily basis.
The mental fights with that last, since I remember all my life.
The desires to be with a man were presenthe since my early 20s, when I start playing with dildos. I fulfill meeting a man in the late forties, but for the meantime so many thoughts and desires.
Who can explain it?

[Dana44]

It seems you are bisexual. If you are married, give love to her and if you get the chance with a male, take it. It will be a wild fling. One thing about males that I found, is they do not want a relationship. Your wife is your best bet and show her that she is important to you.