Therapy

[Dana3]

Well? I just booked my first appointment with a therapist, who just so happens to also be informed about gender issues. But its not just about gender, I've been dragging a lot of dead horses and saddle around with me for quite awhile.

Drinking, divorce, parental alienation, PTSD, denial, depression, anxiety, survivors guilty, having been married to my first wife (Narcissistic Personality)

Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant, going in

Any advice, guidance, insight would be appreciated

[steftoday]

I wish you the best of luck. Be honest, be open. Don't expect immediate results.

[Alice Torn]

Thank you for your service, fellow vet. You sound like everyone in my family of origin, with multiple issues, and i love your comment about draggin dead horses and saddles! Sound like me. i am the only person in my toxic family of origin, who sought help!. I go to the VA, for therapy, but only get to go once every several months. Not the best, but better than none. The rest are either in prison, in denial, or still at home, all single in their 60's in deep stubborn denial, and totally against seeking counseling. My dad is 95, was full of denial, about to pass. Bravo to you!

[gina shiney]

Congratulations on your first steps that was the hardest for myself.
I also have a lot of complex issues cding being only one, you while being unique are not alone.
Not to put a downer on the profession but with any personal counseling You must click, I went through 5-6 in a 12 month period before finding one that helps with a path to rationalization. I am extremely happy grateful content with mine.
hardest thing to accept is there is no judgment. Be truthful, honest, open & calm. This is a stressful time & while I always tend to be exhausted after the sessions especially when touching on difficult facets the help is & was helping me cope.
There is no order in how my session's go. As like you and I suppose a lot of the clients it's dependant on the current issues at the time (NOW)
We didn't get to cding until trust was established and the fact that at the time I hadn't accepted my own. In other words a lot of thoughts have to be explored worked through, acceptance gained. Cding is not a problem only my thinking of other people's thinking.
Be strong. Good luck and all the best on the day.

[Rachelakld]

baby steps.
but if you ever write a book about your life, can I please have a copy because your life sounds more interesting than mine

[Teresa]

Dana,
I hope it goes well for you .
How much of your list is down to problems living with your Cding ?

The problem I had was my wife wouldn't attend , she said I was the one needing help , the problem was being alone with it. I kept hitting the wall with my wife's lack of acceptance , it was so hard to work round it and come to terms with dressing when I could only discuss it with my counsellor , it always made it look she was at fault and it's nearly the reason why a separation was considered.

[erickka]

Hi, Dana
I'm also seeing a therapist who has extensive knowledge of gender issues within all ages and on the entire scale. I have some of the same issues as you have (depression, anxiety, etc. ) and she is a great sounding board. There is no magical pill, spell, or person to fix whatever ails us, but as long as we're honest, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I have only been going a few months and have gained a bit of perspective on all accounts. It is surely putting things into order so that I can finally start to sort it all out and regain some control over my life. Good luck , and I hope you come out feeling like a better, calmer, more organized you.

[Kate Simmons]

Therapists are the sounding boards, you make the decisions. :)

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Hi Dana,

All I can do is reiterate the good points other people have already listed:

Be truthful and don't hold anything back. Keeping secrets from the therapist isn't going to help anybody. Don't worry about being judged, that isn't going to happen.

Establish Trust, you do have to click with your therapist for things to move forward. If it doesn't feel right you may want to try another one. I hit the jackpot with my first try. My daughter went through a 3 before finding one who understood her.

Baby steps, don't expect things to happen overnight but over the long haul. I've been going 8 years now and look forward to our sessions.

Good Luck and we're here if you have any other questions.

[Sarasometimes]

Thank you for your service and great to hear you have made the appointment. I went to several who said they had training and skill in the gender area and they really didn't. A question that may give you some idea of their level of experience is to ask if they have clients who come to come to therapy dressed and if that would be okay for you to do. You don't ever have to take them up on it, but the reply to your question may be very telling as to their true comfort level and experience. I taught the first 5 or 6 about cding and they charged me for the opportunity. Then, unknowingly by chance I needed to change therapists because mine would only see medicaid patients. She sent me to a place that know gender and studies and trains about it, nirvana.
Finding the right therapist can be as tough as making that first appt or harder. If you don't hit it off in a few sessions, look elsewhere. You need to feel able to tell them your deepest thoughts and feel comfortable doing that.
Good luck and feel free to PM me if you feel a need!

[Sometimes Steffi]

Umm, just don't bring you gun, Gunny ;-)

I guess, you need to be able to talk about anything. I always chose female therapists because I'm not comfortable talking to men about my crossdressing.

The therapist's office should be a judgement-free zone. They should be asking questions that really make you think. If they don't meet these two criteria, think about moving on.

[Sarasometimes]

Steffi, great added advice and I too can only work with female therapists. I may have to find a new one due to insurance changes and I'm really bummed. I called one therapist who has gender identity as an area of hers and when i asked if i could come dressed she said fine but that she had never been asked that before in 30 years. Sounds like she has limited experience.
Again Gunny, good luck. The results sometimes aren't fast but still worth the effort.