Please Be Careful if You Go Out

[Cristy2]

Not sure where I should be posting this. However, last night June 24,2016 my T-girlfriend, Amber, was attacked outside a night club in St. Augustine, Fl and was severely beaten. No one knows what the provocation for the attack was and the perpetrator or perpetrators were not caught, which is no surprise for St. Johns County Florida. Robbery was ruled out because she had nearly $300 cash in her purse and he purse was not bothered in the attack.

Amber is doing okay today. Just scraped and bruised up a lot.

[Fiona123]

Hate crime. Very shameful. I know it's a cliche but an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us. Please give my best wishes to Amber. 🌈🌺

[Teresa]

Cristy,
That's bad news and very hard on Amber, she must be really shaken up, so good to hear she's on the mend, lets just hope they do catch the attackers.

None of us should ignore messages like this, it can happen anywhere, what fuels a person to make such attacks is worrying, sometimes they are almost without motive which is more worrying because no one is safe.

[NancySue]

I'm so sorry about what happened to Amber. Hope her recovery is fast. I believe society still isn't ready for us, consequently we all have to be extremely careful if you go out and where you go. We've found shopping centers easy to pass. We strive to look like "ordinary" shoppers. No excessive make up, high heels, tight pants, etc. My frustration is I love to wear hose (of all kinds). This is not the current fashion...sad. Yes, be very careful. Nancy Sue

[Liz57]

Please send my wish for quick recovery to Amber. Unfortunately, the mental scars may take longer to heal.

This sounds especially scary to me since I have a house a half hour from there and have been venturing out en femme recently and considering St. Augustine as a place to stroll along the beach and blend in with the public. Guess I'd better play it safe for awhile.

Unfortunately, evil seems to bred evil.

Liz

PS Thanks for posting

[paintmepink]

That's terrifying. Did she not have an personal protection?

[Tracii G]

Sorry to hear about Amber Cristy.
Glad she is mending up.
Think about personal protection because this was a wake up call.

[Cristy2]

That's terrifying. Did she not have any personal protection?

No and I'm not sure, by the sounds of it, that it would have done her any good because, in her own words, she never knew what hit her. She said she was walking across the parking lot and didn't see anyone or anything amiss and next thing she knew she was on the ground surrounded by a huge crowd of people and a police officer asking if she was okay.

I'm going to take her to get a certain item of self-defense when she is feeling up to it.

[Alice Torn]

That is very bad news. I have been hoping to go out on Tuesday evenings alone. When a person is blindsided, no personal protection is much good. A whistle is good, but if you are knocked out, its of no use. A real bummer. Hope Amber recovers soon.

[donnalee]

Cristy, I am so sorry that this happened to your friend.

The most important safety tool you can have is an ability to read the street. You need to be constantly aware of your surroundings, who is there and what they are doing. Does anything seem out of place? Does what is going on make sense?

I know I have posted this many times, but it cannot be stressed enough.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Cristy,

I'm sorry to hear about Amber and hope her recovery is quick and complete.

I recommend doing some research and comparison shopping prior to any self defense purchases. Also, and even more importantly is training. Simple one hour or afternoon training courses are only a start. Self defense has to become a mind set where you always maintain situational awareness. As you said, Amber didn't know what hit her so no matter what , she never would have had the opportunity to use anything.

Good Luck

[LisaJ1]

This is why I don't go out alone and I have been through it.I had a guy attempt to put his hand up my skirt once this year.I gave him a good kick in the genitals and he was hurting very good.I was not alone when this happened too.My fiancé and a couple friends were with me when it happened.

[Molly James]

Hi Cristy,

I'm horrified to hear of this attack on Amber & hope she gets well soon.

Molly.

[Tracii G]

What Linda Woodworth said.

[Cristy2]

The most important safety tool you can have is an ability to read the street. You need to be constantly aware of your surroundings, who is there and what they are doing. Does anything seem out of place? Does what is going on make sense?

Exactly! Even if you are in an accepting area of town. Amber was in a very LGBT accepting area of town and was still attacked.

[paulaprimo]

such a horrible story Cristy, i wish Amber a speedy recovery.
i just don't get it...people whom don't understand us are so quick to say that
we need help, when we hurt no one.

[josrphine]

Hi Cristy, I have a time share up in St Augestine on A1A Beach club. Have never had any problems so then is news to me. Will be carful in the future ?

[Jenniferathome]

Of course one should be aware of one's surroundings regardless of attire and while this may have been a targeted attack, it is also possible that it was just an attack. This can happen anywhere to anyone, again, regardless of attire. Being out alone, presumably late, is not the best choice.

Do not let this be a deterrent to going out if you want to go out. DO let this be a reminder as to where and when you go out.

[Stephanie47]

Jennifer.....What? An assault outside a night club? Purse or cash not taken? No apparent attempt at sexual assault? Amber stumbled across some irate people who felt emboldened by either alcohol or group dynamics to tell her she was not welcome on their turf. It was a hate crime. My only recommendation I have for anyone contemplating going out en femme to a nightclub is to check it out en drab to see what the presumed undercurrents are within the place.

[Cristy2]

Hi Cristy, I have a time share up in St Augestine on A1A Beach club. Have never had any problems so then is news to me. Will be carful in the future ?

It is always good to be careful, but don't let Amber's attack scare you. St. Augustine is known to be very LGBT accepting.

Stephanie, St Augustine, Fl is very LGBT accepting especially in the area of town where Amber was at. It is very unusual to full blown unheard of for any member of the LGBT community to be violently attacked in St. Augustine.

[Nadine Spirit]

I agree with Jennifer. Things happen and sometimes they suck. Yeah, it appears as though it most likely was a hate crime. But still things happen. Nobody can ever be 100% safe 100% of the time.

Honestly, if after being out 1000s of times, something happens once, what does that mean about the probability of it happening?? Its super low. And if you are afraid because something might happen, stay out of cars. Generally speaking that tends to be humans highest risk activity, but most people don't ever worry about that.

[LisaJ1]

I was lucky and coming towards my recovery.The man that attempted to put his hand up my skirt in Febuary was convicted of sexual assault and serving a 20 year sentence based on his record.I am seeing a therapist that deals with sex crimes,Therapist says I am doing great now.

[Dana44]

I think it was a hate crime and at a nightclub one needs to have eyes in the back of their head. Yes we need to look for danger. As we all know it might even be good for us to be able to protect ourselves, but mace might be better lol when you are in heels. But always scan for danger and be aware of your surroundings and always try to go to safe places than night clubs. But hey i know night clubs are fun... right!

[TrishaLake]

All I can say is sorry..it is sometimes the way of the world:(

[Ressie]

Attackers don't attack for no reason. Maybe the assailant drank too much booze and didn't take meds, who knows? We can take measures to protect ourselves, but when getting sucker punched there is nothing that one can do to retaliate. Although Amber is doing OK physically, there has to be some mental anguish over this incident. Time heals...

[MelanieAnne]

Bars and clubs are especially dangerous due to the possible presence of angry drunks, alcohol, horny frustrated males, males angry at being "fooled" by their eyes, etc. And always be aware of your surroundings, and who is hanging around or lurking nearby. Never let your guard down just because you think you are in an LGBT friendly area. Not every one in an LBGT friendly area is LGBT friendly. Some may be curious. Some may be angry and looking for someone to assault!

[Tommie.]

Please tell her we are all thinking of and praying for her.

[Eryn]

Bars and clubs are especially dangerous due to the possible presence of angry drunks, alcohol, horny frustrated males, males angry at being "fooled" by their eyes, etc. And always be aware of your surroundings, and who is hanging around or lurking nearby. Never let your guard down...

Also, remember that there is a good reason that GGs seldom go anywhere alone. The mere presence of a wing-girl will prevent most assaults.

It seems that virtually every assault we hear of involves the following:

1. Late at night.
2. In or near a bar or club where alcohol is served.
3. Walking alone.

My intent is not to blame the victims, but to emphasize that there are steps that all of us can take to minimize the chance of becoming a victim. Never go anywhere alone, don't go to places where people consume alcohol excessively or which have poor security, and keep an adequate amount of space around you. Even in my "safe suburb" I am careful when Mimi and I take evening walks.

[Rogina B]

Like Eryn,I will say that GG's are rarely alone. Titty dancers have always had the doorman escort them to their vehicle..for a reason. It isn't wrong to ask the doorman,cop,bartender for an escort to your vehicle if you "are fit to drive". Most clubs have a responsible person to assist. Be smart about being out.

[grace7777]

I am happy to hear that Amber is doing ok, and pray that she continues to do well.

Just because an area is accepting does not mean something terrible cannot happen. All it takes is one person for something bad to happen.

One of my scariest moments out en femme was in San Francisco. Fortunately I was not harmed physically. I was shaken up by it though. Another time in San Francisco I noticed 2 guys following me and I believe they were targeting me, but fortunately my hotel was nearby so I walked into it and everything turned out fine. I think in tolerant areas we may let our guard down at times. No Matter where you are always be aware of your surroundings and circumstances.

[Cristy2]

The authorities a pretty sure they know who attacked Amber, but there is not enough evidence or an eye witness to make an arrest. Apparently, in the club a guy came up to the table where Amber was setting and started flirting with her and she started flirting back. The boyfriend of the guy came in and saw him and Amber flirting back and forth and needless to say he was not too happy about. Amber took her beer and moved to the bar to avoid any problems. While she is at the bar finishing her beer, the two guys start to argue and Amber decides it is time for her to leave and she went out the front door. The boyfriend of the guy that was flirting with her went out the side door and everyone thinks he is the one who attacked Amber.

[Rogina B]

Thanks for telling us the rest of the story. If she had someone with her,perhaps it would never have happened.

[Cristy2]

True, I would have went with her had I known she was going. I love her to death, but all of us who are friends with her have gotten on to her about her excessive flirting and taking off on her own.

[pamela7]

i'm so sorry to hear this news and for your friend. and at the same time i must ask why so many T-girls think it is safe to walk out late at night alone in club districts. Women do not do this, for good reason. Always be in a group.

As to daytime/other areas, I feel it is completely safe to go out alone; i do it all the time.

[PaulaQ]

There are a lot of hate crimes against LGBT people in Dallas right now. Most of them against gay dudes, but some trans have been attacked too. All of them are occurring in the vicinity of the gay / lesbian bars in Dallas. This has been going on for over a year now. The police have greatly increased patrols, but it still happens and no perpetrators apprehended. There have been over 30 such attacks here.

It can actually be more dangerous going to a well known LGBT venue.

[CherylFlint]

Many of us on this blog has already talked the safety issue to death, but I’ll give t one more try.
If you go out with the attitude that dressing-up is all fun and games better think twice.
Day, or night, it’s a dangerous world whether you’re a male or a female.
Use the brains that you have. Park in well-lit places and if you can’t find a safe, well-lit place to park, go home.
If the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up, pay attention. You have millions of years of evolution to warn you whenever danger lurks: don’t ignore the signs.
Sure, go out and have fun but remember when a guy discovers you’re not what he thought you were that attacks (in his mind) his manhood.
Men can be very unstable at times.
Be smart and be safe.
Hope Amber will be okay.

[ReineD]

The boyfriend of the guy that was flirting with her went out the side door and everyone thinks he is the one who attacked Amber.

So this wasn't a hate crime, but a jealousy issue.


I love her to death, but all of us who are friends with her have gotten on to her about her excessive flirting and taking off on her own.

I'm sorry about your friend and I hope that she will listen to you in the future.

[Cristy2]

I pretty much knew it wasn't a "hate crime" right from the start. I knew it had to be either an aborted robbery attempt or a jealous boy or girl friend.

[gokatiegirl]

I'm very careful when I go out and tend to stay in friendly areas when I’m alone. I know there are a lot of girls on this site like to go shopping and wander around alone. Longtime T-Girls know how to handle the situation but newbies and part-time girls are unexperienced in regard to being called out in public. It’s awkward when it happens but when it does I’m proud to explain who I am. That makes the other person feel awkward and they usually walk away. But there is always a chance to encounter a bigot that might have a few words to say. This is where it gets dangerous. Also, newbies get embarrassed, lose confidence and show weakness. If you’re gonna wear heels you better know how to fight, carry pepper spray and always have a plan.

[Ressie]

So this wasn't a hate crime, but a jealousy issue.

I kind of suspected this. For one thing, we didn't hear enough of the story at post #1. And, I've seen similar situations.

[Cristy2]

I didn't know the whole entire story when I started this thread. I found out more information as time went on.

[Lorileah]

So are we done here? Seems that logically, we know we should be careful out there but since this wasn't really a TG hate or targeted crime, this thread is done for now pending staff discussion