Narcissism and Crossdressing

[silkylegs]

anyone else out there simply enjoy the view in the mirror so much that
they think perhaps Narcissis was correct the way he perished...?

[Robertacd]

Yes indeed, I am in love with the woman in the mirror.:cool:

[jenny_centaur]

anyone else out there simply enjoy the view in the mirror so much that
they think perhaps Narcissis was correct the way he perished...?

Absolutely. With me it's photographs and video more than the mirror, but the principle is the same. I uttery adore myself :bs:

I took these last week and can't stop looking at them:
http://uk.geocities.com/ukbikechick/Tonight/index.htm

[Tamara Croft]

Vainess at it's finest ;)

[AprilMae]

Well since most of us are men and men are visual creatures. It does raise a good question. Would you continue to dress if you were to lose your sight?

[jenny_centaur]

Would you continue to dress if you were to lose your sight?

Absolutely! I love the feel of my clothes just as much as the look. Also, I choose clothes for how they feel, just as much as how they look. eg I pay 3 times as much for a pair of 'silky smooth' tights as I would for a normal pair.

There's a gurl on another forum I frequent who's been blind since birth.

[Sarahgurl371]

I read somewhere a quote that pondered if we didn't have mirrors, would we still crossdress? I think we all really like what we see.

[Amanduhrob]

I read somewhere a quote that pondered if we didn't have mirrors, would we still crossdress? I think we all really like what we see.


I think that we would all look like circus clowns if we applied our make up without mirrors:D

[TGMarla]

I....umm.....I admit it! I look in the mirror a lot when I'm dressed. There! I said it! I said it......Aaaaaahhhhhgghh!

Yeah, well, ....It's fun to look pretty. That's kinda the whole point, isn't it? I mean, why would any of us crossdress if it wasn't fun to look pretty? There aren't many of us who look in a mirror and go, "Ewwww...I look pretty!"...and quickly go change our clothes.

I know I don't always pull it off, but I enjoy looking pretty. I like seeing a lady looking back at me. I smile at her, and she always smiles back. Why? Because she looks pretty. And that makes me feel good. It's different, and exciting, and special. So those mirrors, preferably full length mirrors, comes in real handy.

I'll admit that there is a powerful visual aspect to the whole thing.

See? Figuring out all this crossdressing jive isn't so hard, is it?

[linnea]

Yes, it is really fun to look pretty. I look at myself a lot when I am dressed. I know that it is vain. I enjoy it. I think that I would dress even if there weren't mirror or if I were blind. I love the feel as well as the look.

[Deanna2]

I've got several mirrors at home, but I don't have a full length mirror. If I want to the whole image I have to stand on a stool in front of the bathroom mirror:blushing:

[Helen MC]

Very much so, I am a narcissistic CD. Even when I started wearing my big sister's knickers ( panties) when I was 12 I got a great buzz and turn on from looking in the mirror in my bedroom wearing only a pair of her knicks with the predictable arousal, and that reminds me of the old joke of the man looking at himself in the morror and saying "Down you silly thing it's only ME!" This erotic arousal was even more so when I was happily alone in the house and I dressed in her school uniform or party dresses or in my Mum's clothes. When I moved to a place of my own at age 18 I was delighted that there was a full length mirror and I have always had one. Most CDs and TVs have a decent mirror.

[Colleen]

Every time I see my self its a reiforcment to lose 20-30 lbs.Yesterday was the last straw(crack in the mirror)I had on a short red fredricks dress I bought a new wig then got the shopping fever payless shoes didnt have what I wanted walked into a exotic boutique and got a pair of white pat.5 inch heels with ankle straps.I loved the feel touch ect. but the look? NA not till I Lose some lbs.

[kwebb]

I would be interested to know if anyone knew of a born-blind CDer or TS? It seems to be such a visual phenomena.

[Helen MC]

Visual and tactile, they may get pleasure from the latter aspect.

[Angela Burke]

The Lady of Shallott.

[Tina Dixon]

My self im a bit camara shy but I do take a peak:rolleyes:

[Lilith Moon]

I am so fond of mirrors that I seem to accumulate them, especially full-length ones. Whenever we decide to discard a mirror, usually because the silvering has deteriorated, it ends up in my workshop or stacked with the others here in my office..."Seems a shame to trash it, might come in useful" ;)

[Dizzy GG]

In love with your own image! ....not much room for anyone else then!

[Tamara Croft]

In love with your own image! ....not much room for anyone else then!Oh well said :clap: !!!!

Do you not realise how much your vainess actually hurts our feelings? Sometimes, it just feels like our femininity is being taken away.

[Wendy me]

if your not happy with the him side you see in the mirror then you can always put on your fem girly look ... that my girlfreinds is the beauty of being a cd.....

[JoAnnDallas]

When I get all dolled up and stand in front of the full length mirror, I still get a very warm feeling seeing myself. It still amazes me how different I look with makeup and wig on. I am beginning to see why I seem to blend it. It also allows me to look at the whole package and sometimes I will spot something that I don't like and it allows me to correct it.

Also since the mirror is the closet doors, it allows me to walk the length of the bathroom and pratice my walk and stance. I also bring in a chair and make sure that when I am sitting that it is lady like and I can make sure everything looks right and feels right even while sitting.

[Julie Avery]

Interesting reflections in this thread, and I note the GG's general disapproval. Speaking for myself and sure I'm not alone, there is a strong element of wanting to appear like the gender that I find visually attractive. That can't be the same thing as "becoming the woman I feel I am inside", which some say they're doing. I would think that generally a woman finds men attractive, and when I dress, I'm not trying to become a person who finds men attractive. I'm trying to appear as what I find attractive, that is, feminine. So for me there definitely is a "closed in on itself" sort of aspect, I don't hesitate to admit it, and mirrors definitely have their place in my play world!

I'm not sure it's "vain" because although it pleases me to be able to appear feminine in any way at all, I never dream for a moment that I can appear as feminine as any GG can without even trying. I guess what I do is "vain" in the sense of seeking to be pleased with my own appearance, but not in the sense of feeling that my appearance is better than anyone else's. That latter sort of vanity will forever be denied myself and most other crossdressers with motives like mine.

[Shelly Preston]

I sometimes look in the mirror and see a woman looking back

Yes, I like to look good but I always do. male or female.

[JoannaDees]

As they say, we are our own worst critics, so the mirror tells me too big, too fat, you'll never be who you wish to be. So no, narcisism is not the word for the day. But the feelings .... oh the feelings.............

[JoannaDees]

Oh well said :clap: !!!!

Do you not realise how much your vainess actually hurts our feelings? Sometimes, it just feels like our femininity is being taken away.

Huh? Why is it about you?

[SherriePall]

TammyCD and KWebb have posed some questions I have often wondered. If there were no mirrors or if we were blind, would we still CD? My wife also has wondered if in countries where little clothing is worn is there still CDing? As for me, I am one who looks into mirrors to check myself out. Even when out dressed enfemme, I try to catch a glimpse of myself whenever I can. And, no, I hope this is by no means demeaning to the GG's here. For me it's a validation that, for the moment, I am a woman. It's not an "in-love-with-myself" thing even if I love the way I look. Does any of this make sense?

[Tamara Croft]

Huh? Why is it about you?I never said it was about me, but reading some of the posts 'oh I'm in love with myself' is kinda hard to take in. I wonder how the wives would feel about that. At least you were honest in your post and said exactly how you feel when you look in the mirror. For a lot of women, that's how they feel too.

When Tam looks in the mirror, she/he looks great and knows it... very vain, when I look in the mirror, I see a fat, ugly woman and no matter how much he tells me this isn't true, I don't believe it. I guess it's a woman thing :(

[Kimberley]

When Tam looks in the mirror, she/he looks great and knows it... very vain, when I look in the mirror, I see a fat, ugly woman and no matter how much he tells me this isn't true, I don't believe it. I guess it's a woman thing :(
***************
Tamara, you are selling yourself short, way short.

Hugs
Kimberley

[Julie Avery]

When Tam looks in the mirror, she/he looks great and knows it... very vain, when I look in the mirror, I see a fat, ugly woman and no matter how much he tells me this isn't true, I don't believe it. I guess it's a woman thing :(

Clever transgendered entity that I am, I'm reading this to mean "CD's who have GG partners, communicate a little better about how much and how often you admire your partner's femininity", although the disclaimer, "no matter how much he tells me this isn't true, I don't believe it" gives me pause. I think the right words at the right time might work wonders.

[Leigh Davis]

I use the mirror to do a "system check" but I don't overuse it. I think people "loving" their image is probably the attraction to the persona they are trying to project or experience.
I enjoy looking at a good pic more.
It freaks me out sometimes when I look in the mirror and see my sister or the resemblence of my mother.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

when I look in the mirror, I see a fat, ugly woman and no matter how much he tells me this isn't true, I don't believe it. I guess it's a woman thing :(

Agreed. You're definitely selling yourself short.

If it makes you feel any better, over the years I've learned that it seems like you can never convince a woman she's not fat. :thinking:

[Jacqui]

Silky, I do not consider myself a narcissist when I look in the mirror.

I do consider myself a pragmatist. There has never been a time when I looked into the mirror, saw a beautiful woman, and been told, "Sorry, not tonight...I have a headache!"

Jacqui

[Helen MC]

Tamara GG, for a biological woman who purports to be sympathetic to CD males you have a strange way of showing it. Twice in recent posts you have had a heavy go at M to F CDs.

Most CDs DO like how they look en-femme in the mirror, to me that is simply a given. Now if you personally have a problem with a negative self image, (can I assume that you are not like your avatar as that shows a reasonably attractive blonde woman to me) , then the solution is in your own hands, dress differently, diet, exercise, style your hair differently.

Please do not load it onto the various CDs who DO like how they look and are proud of it. We have more than enough problems to contend with at the hands of butch red-necked males (and some intolerant females), and a society which still at best treats us with ridicule and at worst with violence, to be attacked on a Forum which should be a safe-haven for CDs, TVs and TGs. If some are masochistic enough to wish criticism there are plenty of religious hard right-wing fundamentalist websites where to admit to being a CD would bring torrents of condemnation without being dug at here.

Ease off, Tamara.

[Ms Alison Janes]

I love mirrors because I'm gorgeous and 'he' is in love with me.

[steph so 1999]

Well then there.I was dressing at 7.I never gave it up completely.
I have been married twice to 2 good women.I simply no longer try to form those types of relationships with women.I have women friends and,women lovers.I am however,come to understand that what seems to most women as
a passing phase (my whole life?) and,that they may if married to me feel threatened by,I've just opted to remain single.Women love to slip in and, out of their societal roles of male & female and,that's ok with me.
I cannot though,please someone else nor ,fullfill their desire to make or,to remake me in acceptaqble image to them.We are in fact beyond those old norms in the current world.

[karentvca]

I have come to believe that it is my narcissism that is behind my crossdressing desires. I really don't like the way I look as a male. I am always concerned with my appearance and never satisfied... even consciously avoiding looking at my own reflection in windows and mirrors (unless I am unsure of something... and then it's just a brief glance). And I hate the way my male self looks in photographs.

Yes, I know, it sounds like I need professional help! Tried it and it didn't help.

However, dressing up relieves ALL of those feelings. I love the way I look as a woman. I feel that I have better tools to improve my appearance: wigs, makeup, etc.

[jenny_centaur]

I love the way I look as a woman. I feel that I have better tools to improve my appearance: wigs, makeup, etc.

You've hit the nail on the head. I can emphasise my eyes (which are my best feature as a male) with makeup, plus I get to show off my gorgeous legs in a nice little skirt!

Also I get to hide my worst feature - my thinning thatch, under luxurious flowing golden locks, and I can mask the odd facial skin blemish with makeup.

I ask you, who'd want to be 'normal'? And why should women want to keep all these things to themselves?

[Sam-antha]

Those things called "shop windows" are lovely big mirrors... so good to see what I look like when I am outside, how I walk and hold myself. I will cross the road, if it is quiet, to see myself coming towards me in a window. Long live the big windows.

[Bridget]

I do have to admit, that when I'm dressed, I love how i look granted i have everything taken care of. Of course, i wish i had a bigger chest (proportionately), and a bit more in the backside and hips, but i can't really do anything about it. (Yes, i know there's padding, but it doesn't look entirely natural...)

[joellee]

I think this whole thing is majic.. So I'm sending myself a message saying how wonderful I feel and look..Love you Joelle, Joelle:cheeky:

[Tamara Croft]

(can I assume that you are not like your avatar as that shows a reasonably attractive blonde woman to me).That is me in my avatar.

So now I'm not allowed to voice how I feel or how other GG's here feel either? Seems GG's are allowed to only post good things and get flamed for posting something negative, well excuse me for having a voice :( Well ok, I'll not be putting any input in any threads in the mtf section again. :thumbsdn:

[Wendy me]

ok i can see the gg's way of looking at this my wife is never happy with how she looks ... gawd she is a size 3 and tells me she looks fat ....women look at them selfes and outher women a lot diff.. than we do for shure ... as for me when i slip into "wendy mode" i get a rush i will shop and spend a small fortune on my fem side and the "him side" is luckey to get socks ....

our gg's that are souporting and understanding of us are a bleseing... i never will be able to feel or think like a gg.... nor complety understand how thay think or feel ... the only thing i can do is respecte them for who thay are....

for all our gg's here huge wendy hugs to you all....

[Tina Dixon]

My were getting a bit up set here people, she's just telling us her side of the story, my SO when she gets dressed sure dont run to get the camera like i do, oh by the way did you catch my new pictures:D

[connie rotten]

That is me in my avatar.

So now I'm not allowed to voice how I feel or how other GG's here feel either? Seems GG's are allowed to only post good things and get flamed for posting something negative, well excuse me for having a voice :( Well ok, I'll not be putting any input in any threads in the mtf section again. :thumbsdn:
It is a transgender issue . And we can be touchy . I call it OBGYN envy.:beatup:

[Sharon]

That is me in my avatar.

So now I'm not allowed to voice how I feel or how other GG's here feel either? Seems GG's are allowed to only post good things and get flamed for posting something negative, well excuse me for having a voice :( Well ok, I'll not be putting any input in any threads in the mtf section again. :thumbsdn:

Anyone mess with Tamara, you mess with me. :mad:

As with anyone else in the forum, Tamara and every GG is permitted to state their opinions no matter if you agree with them or not.

[DanaJ]

I have noticed that everyone loves what GGs have to say, as long as it agrees with them or their views. If anyone needs to "ease off" it is not Tamara.... I for one love to read what you post Tamara, whether or not it agrees with my views and opinions...

[Julie Avery]

I for one love to read what you post Tamara, whether or not it agrees with my views and opinions...

I'm happy to second that motion.

[Julie York]

I have noticed that everyone loves what GGs have to say, as long as it agrees with them or their views. If anyone needs to "ease off" it is not Tamara.... I for one love to read what you post Tamara, whether or not it agrees with my views and opinions...

Aye.....but god help anyone who disagrees with a GG eh?


We are expressing ourselves honestly. If someone doesn't understand it that comes out very loud and clear. If it comes from a GG then it is even more LOUD and VERY CLEAR and hurtful to folk being open and honest.

[Julie Avery]

Aye.....but god help anyone who disagrees with a GG eh?


We are expressing ourselves honestly. If someone doesn't understand it that comes out very loud and clear. If it comes from a GG then it is even more LOUD and VERY CLEAR and hurtful to folk being open and honest.


Honesty can be done without hostility. I'd like to think we can realize that we have divergent points of view, and can benefit from at least knowing that some others feel the way they express that diverges from my own view.

It seems to me this thread went south when someone replied to this statement of Tamara's: "Do you not realise how much your vainess actually hurts our feelings? Sometimes, it just feels like our femininity is being taken away"

by saying

"Huh? Why is it about you?"

What's a forum, if not a place to express your feelings? Tamara expressed her feelings, and was accused of suggesting that "It's all about her." That's out of place, it seems to me. What we're doing here is "all about me", to the extent that we're expressing our individual feelings, and looking to see how a discussion about them goes. Tamara never suggested that it was "all about her", she just expressed herself, the same as the other correspondents.

Then someone else said, "Tamara GG, for a biological woman who purports to be sympathetic to CD males you have a strange way of showing it. Twice in recent posts you have had a heavy go at M to F CDs." That's a flame. It wouldn't be a flame if said this way: "Tamara GG, I disagree with you, and here's why."

I'm happy to confess to being a narcissistic crossdresser, and even more happy to be able to read respectful, critical comments from others who wish to let me know how things I do may rub them the wrong way.

I hear a lot about Jung on here, let me put in a word for Pierce, James, Dewey and the Pragmatists: we learn little from success, learning occurs when we are subjected to criticism.

Just my 0.02

[Sarahgurl371]

That is me in my avatar.

So now I'm not allowed to voice how I feel or how other GG's here feel either? Seems GG's are allowed to only post good things and get flamed for posting something negative, well excuse me for having a voice :( Well ok, I'll not be putting any input in any threads in the mtf section again. :thumbsdn:

Wow, this got nasty fast! Tamara and all the other GG's, I certainlly appreciate the perspective you all bring to the table. Many times a GG here has written something that I disagree with or could take offense at.

But most of those times I find that if I try to understand things from your side of the coin, what you are saying can help me to become a better PERSON, and thats a positive from a negative. Thats a good thing.

As for being vain, I think most of us, CD and GG alike, have some amount of vanity in us. We all want to look our best. As for me, I am not trying to take anything away from anybody else, especially the woman that I love.

Let me explain MY thoughts - This stuff, this feminine side, whatever it is, is bottled up a clear majority of the time. I cannot let it out at work, with friends, most times even around my wife. This stuff, is sometimes dying to get out, to be free to express itself however it can. And when I finally allow myself to dress the way I wish, to make the outside look as I think it should,

#1. that time is way too short, and far in between.
#2. I have very limited practice in achieving the appearance I want.
#3. I of course wish to see me looking back at me, as I see me.
#4. I do most certainlly look in the mirror, for critique, and for improvement.
#5. I just feel like...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, and wish to take every minute of it in because of #1.
#6. It is certainlly not meant to hurt anyone else.

Just my thoughts.

[silkylegs]

wow! what a surprise to see my simple question met with such a varied response. i think what this forum has, and needs, is more intelligent people talking about their passion in such a way that we are all accepted and understood. opinions , everyone has one...and it appears that if they are not accepted by the censors they are deleted. big brother...?

[bob_bobbi]

Wowza! I never noticed before but the mirror in my room is flippin' huge!

5'10" by 7'10" !

[ReginaK]

I'm too ugly to be a narcissist and i'm eisoptrophobic (fear of seeing oneself in the mirror) to boot. I especially avoid mirrors in public places. They seem to ruin my self image and make me very nervous.

I only look in the mirror to shave, do hair, and makeup.