Messed up pt2

[Emma or Darren]

Right here goes. So im at work and I get a txt from my wife "just a heads up the boys have been looking for a wallet and found your stuff and B-- thinks your gay"
So I replied thank you for heads up will talk to them later.
My heart raced but I felt a sense of relief as weve always been an open family and talk freely but this subject from my wifes earlier reaction when I came out is not one to talk freely with.
My sons are 15 and 17 . Strangely enough when I got home my wife seemed to talk more openly about my dressing but still is not happy about it.
That was yesterday finely today had a chance to sit my youngest down and talk and feel it went well his only concern was if I was gay not that he has an issue with gays just he thought that if I was it would of been wrong to marry his mother and to of had him and his brother but Im not so just the oldest to talk to which I think will go well as hes a very open minded person with intelligence above his years.
Fingers crossed
Emma xx

[Mykaa]

Well I had no definitions for me when I joined here, I found that resolved pretty quickly. All I can say is answer questions honestly, being your kids it may take time but surely understanding will follow. I know Im not gay and have never been attracted to Male. I wish you luck with your talks.

[Rogina B]

Seems to me that the closet door got you...It doesn't seem to me that you have really cultivated acceptance with your kids...You had years to do it..

[Emma or Darren]

Rogina b the pink fog only hit a few months ago and over the years had only dressed for sexual gratification then feeling stupid afterwards it is now not a sexual thing I am obsessed with all things femme .
My bond with my sons has always been very strong and have always had a great relationship with them but when the fog hit I didnt want them to feel the same way my wife did when I came out to her. Emma

[Allisa]

I think it's great that your youngest is O.K. with your CDing, but his response to you fathering him and his brother would have been wrong, but he has no issues with gays? There is more to fatherhood than sexual preference, I hope your eldest is accepting or at least tolerant of his fathers eccentricities. Good luck and best wishes.

[Stephanie47]

Seems to me that the closet door got you...It doesn't seem to me that you have really cultivated acceptance with your kids...You had years to do it..

I really do not know why there is this driving need to cultivate acceptance with everyone. For many cross dressers wearing women's clothing is a private and personal activity. There is no need to have a "sit down" and discuss everything. Yes, there are slip ups that may reveal some not so discussed activities, and, an explanation may become required. If parents raise their children to be respectful of others; gays, lesbians, transgender men and women, African-Americans, Hispanics, you fill in the blank, then when the time comes I think children will be accepting.

If someone wants to sit around in front of their kids fully en femme with makeup and wig, then that discussion may need to be earlier...way earlier.

[AllieSF]

Stephanie, I do not see this as a driving need for acceptance with everyone. I believe for some it is more about relieving some stress about being found out, especially when one has many things in their closets, drawers or hidden away waiting to be discovered by curious minds. Usually, they want to live easily and comfortably with those around them, family and maybe close friends. Once you are caught for whatever reason, then it becomes damage control.

As for Rogina's comment, based on how the first child took the news it appears that the OP has through her and her wife's efforts raised their children to be able to better understand, tolerate and hopefully accept their CD dad as a good person doing something that is not wrong but also not generally accepted by the larger part of society. As to whether we discuss this before or after getting caught is a personal decision and how we decide to raise their children. You have your style, I have mine and other have theirs. Many times I wish I did a better job in some areas. However, we do the best we can based on what we have. Some want to handle problems after they are created and others want to avoid those problems in the first place. I really do respect those that can have those open and honest relationships with their children from an early age. Not every parent can do that, though I wish more, including myself, could.

[Rogina B]

I still stand by my comment that gender and sexuality were never properly talked out. The kid came to conclusions that never would have happened otherwise.

[Emma or Darren]

Just spoken to my oldest son and as expected he was very positive and open minded and seemed comfortable with my dressing in fact I felt so at ease I had trouble seeing the line as to what should and shouldn't be shared apart from the obvious