Attraction

[xNicolex]

Are you attracted to your femme self? I know it seems a strnge question but do you find yourself a turn on when dressed?

[Teresa]

Nicky,
There's the thread running at the moment about AGP . I thought it translated as loving yourself as a woman , but Reine suggests to be sexually aroused when dressed as a woman. Whatever being dressed and AGP are part of the feelings along with a need to present my female side, my turn on is to be attracted to and accepted by a woman .
I

[Mykaa]

Thats an easy answer Nicole, Yes. Part of this for me has always been to emulate something I dont have in my life. Yes this behavior can and does replace a woman and if you dont think they realize that you are short sighted. I have had this conversation with a GG from here. I will add I dont necessarily buy things anymore for that purpose. I buy what I think looks good on me to represent a look I want to show. I also own shoes and clothes for comfort.

[Maria 60]

I believe I dress to how I want to see a women dressed.

[iGenny]

Attracted, yes. Turned on, no.

Maria said exactly what I wanted to say.

[Alice Torn]

I would be lying if i said i did not do it partly as a turn on, as a lonely bachelor, to dress up like the lady i wish i had.

[Ressie]

I'm attracted to good looking women and their clothing is part of that attraction. I don't find myself (dressed) nearly as attractive as the lovely GGs in this world, but to be sexually attractive is the reason I dress.

[Petra1]

When I was younger, I used to become aroused trying on different outfits, lingerie, etc. Not so much, anymore. I do seem, though, to have to have a fascination with buying bras and shoes every once in a while even though I don't need them.

[Fiona123]

Maybe I am attracted to the idea of my femme self. I do crossdress in part for the sexual thrill.🌺

[NicoleScott]

My transformation goal is to create the look that the guy I am likes. The more successful I am, the greater the attraction. In past years and decades of trying different looks, I have failed miserably and succeeded mightily. Now I know what looks I like, so my success rate is high. Definitely attracted.

[Mickitv]

i also get turned on when I dress. Attracted to myself is still questionable

[Lily Catherine]

Part of me wishes my femme self were more sexually attractive; I do get turned on when I crossdress, but credit remains due to the sensation and the connotation of the garments as much as my image and arguably my inflated self perception. To add to this, I had a period of wearing garments meant to be sexy, adding to the nubile image I wished to portray.

I wouldn't consider myself hot though, well not now.

[Tracii G]

Never really gave it much thought but thinking about it I would have to say no on both counts.

[AllieSF]

I am not attracted to myself. I love how I look when dressed as a woman. I love my lipsticked smile and long hair in my many selfies when out, and I love myself as a human being with all my faults.

[paintmepink]

Yes. I fantasize using myself.

[ReineD]

I thought it translated as loving yourself as a woman , but Reine suggests to be sexually aroused when dressed as a woman.

In the context of AGP, Teresa, loving oneself as a woman does mean sexual arousal. It has always meant sexual arousal.

Normally when we say, "I love myself", it is taken as a positive reinforcement, i.e. "I am worthy". But in the context of Blanchard's 1990s study (where he was specifically investigating the motives for transition and when he first coined the term "autogynephilia" for the people who experienced sexual arousal when they dress), it meant sexual arousal. But as mentioned in my other post, Blanchard was sorely mistaken when he applied his AGP theory to transitioning transsexuals, who do transition for reasons of gender dysphoria and not because they are sexually aroused at the thought of expressing femininity. Everyone knows this now. But in the 1990s it wasn't as clear to everyone.

Still, there are a lot of people here who are not TS, who will not transition, and who are not ashamed to admit that for them the crossdressing is or was sexual. There have always been a lot of members like this on cd.com and AGP ("auto"/self, "gyne"/woman, "philia"/sexual arousal) is a term that describes this.

[Confucius]

No. I like the pretty feminine clothes, but I am not pretty. I am not turned on by my feminine self. When I wear feminine clothing my brain seems to interpret it as actual contact with a female and it releases a host of feel-good neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters produce sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification, comfort, and self-identity. So crossdressing makes me happy, but I am not in love with myself as a female.

[ReineD]

Confucius, look at how "philia" is used in terminology to describe various sexual preferences. It does not mean being in love.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

Please note that I posted this link to show a specific list of words with "philia" in them. I certainly do not consider that atypical sexual preferences or practices are in any way deviant, sinful, perverted, or any other way that people think or have thought of paraphilias.

[Crissy Kay]

Well, I do get turned on sometimes while dressed and looking at myself in the mirror. But attracted to myself, I don't think so. As I don't look that good as a girl!!

[Ressie]

"I seduce myself" would be a better way of describing this attraction. :)

[ReineD]

Sorry to keep posting in this thread, but Crissy Kay, fundamentally it does mean being turned on or being aroused. Not being in love with, not just being attracted to in the way a guy might be attracted to a girl, not feeling worthy as, not being proud of having pulled off a look that works, etc. In the context of AGP, it does mean being turned on/aroused.

[Katey888]

So there are two questions there, Nicole... :)

1. Are you attracted...
and
2. Do you find yourself a turn on...

No to #2, but we can't help it if others do... :o However, I do find it stimulating and fulfilling, and I'm going to ask a question in answer to #1... :p

Could there be anyone here who actively does not try to represent their individual transformation into what they would personally perceive as the most attractive femme self that they could portray...?

If not, then isn't being attracted to what you are trying to emulate as an attractive image something of a self-fulfilling definition...?

I think it's possible to be attracted without necessarily being aroused. (I blame Teresa for bringing sex into this - again... ;))

And Reine, surely when you have the opportunity to get a little glammed up, you can't just base that look on what you believe others may find attractive - it must be more what your own perception of what you understand and feel is attractive too...? :)

We can sometimes all be rather frail in our self-belief, and I do feel that AGP and arousal can be used as a subtle pejorative a little too much... after all, there are plenty of (almost all?) 'regular' males who need experience nothing more than a little legerdemain to get switched on... :eek:

We shouldn't feel bad about looking good and feeling fine... looking good and feeling fine... :cheer:


Katey x

[Dana44]

I still get turned on but when dressed for a while no. But if I dress I still get an arousal as it seem so good to be fem as you want to look.

[Teresa]

Reine,
Thanks for that I understand the point you're making . I queried with another member if Blanchard later did add transvestic to differentiate between TSs and CDers.

Sorry I thought philia translated as love or to love .

Katey,
I do think about other things apart from that three letter word !

[Shely]

Your Darn right I do and i love every minute of it. When i have to change back into the every day clothes it is a real downer. i have to take things off one as a time, unless i have extended my play time too long. When i see the photos i take (selfies) i guess, i do get aroused and surprised that i can look like that.

[Judy-Somthing]

When I was younger it was easy to get turned on looking in the mirror but now that I'm in my late fifties it's much more work!

[NancySue]

My wife and I have spent many hours and dollars to improve my feminine appearance to the point that, now, we think I'm looking the best ever. Hardly a day goes by that I don't try to improve and practice some aspect of the many phases involved in achieving the best appearance possible including walking, feminine body language, sitting, etc. Her help and advice have been invaluable. When you see my before and after images, it's almost startling. So, yes, when I look in the mirror, I smile at my/our successful achievement. Do I get turned on? No. So far, its been an enjoyable journey and the future looks positive.

[Robin414]

Interesting thread! I'm not turned on when presenting en femme at all but I do find myself attractive...but when I present full on guy I find myself attractive as well.

Now why I think this is such an interesting thread.

I'm a very open minded gender fluid narcissist and I think I make a better looking woman than a man...I think that's why I do this!

[Teresa]

Robin,
I agree with your last line, I prefer to look like Teresa, I've never dared do the boy/girl thing in pics section but I'm working on it.

[ReineD]

And Reine, surely when you have the opportunity to get a little glammed up, you can't just base that look on what you believe others may find attractive - it must be more what your own perception of what you understand and feel is attractive too...? :)

At this stage in my life Katey, it's based on hiding the signs of aging. lol. I like to look as healthy as I can. But, I do make a conscious effort to not send "sexy" type signals when I dress. Although I did in my youth (I enjoyed getting appreciative glances from men and I do think we are hard-wired for this especially when young), I'm past that stage now and I no longer enjoy short skirts, stilletto heels, plunging necklines, body-hugging clothes, or any other similar signal ... and besides, I no longer have a 35 year old body. I think these clothes look out of place on women past a certain age. I do dress in a manner that befits the occasion but I tend to go for simple, classic clothing ... nothing really eye catching. I place a lot of focus on keeping my skin healthy and wrinkle-free with a good cleansing routine and sunblock and a healthy diet. And when out, I place more focus on being outgoing and engaging with people (I love to get to know people and make friends) than the clothes. And I think this is what shines through in all of us. Go to any party and which guest will you enjoy spending time with. A person who makes you feel comfortable, is lively and interesting to talk to but who is wearing plain clothes, or a person who is not all that interesting but is dressed to kill.

And I certainly never became aroused by wearing something sexy, unless of course wearing these things aroused my partner, or if I was "in the mood" even before putting anything on in which case it didn't matter if I put on a sexy dress, a pair of jeans, or if I was naked. So it has always been either my own inherent arousal (non-presentation related) or my partner's arousal that did it for me and not the clothes I was wearing or the look that I had put together.

[xNicolex]

Well isn't this a mixed bag :heehee: Alot of interesting replies. In other threads and in this one some have said that they try to emulate what they find attractive in a woman. But may not be attracted to themselves. This is understandable as maybe they feel they don't measure up to their expectation. Being turned on by dressing is another matter entirely, although it excites us all in some way its not always sexually I get that. I wonder though given that most of human natures attraction is based on the sexual aspect coupled with my point on emulating attractiveness and not feeling turned on, it's an interesting contrast showing just how different we veiw our dressing and our aesthetic veiw on both our male and female selfes :daydreaming:

[cdveronica27]

I am still learning, so I haven't perfected my femme self yet. But I did once hear that when me dress as women, they tend to dress as the type of woman they would date.

[CassandraRae]

The image I would like to achieve is that of a young woman that I would consider attractive and sexy. If that were possible, at 60 years of age, I would then be very attracted to myself. Right now, not so much. The clothes make me FEEL like I could be sexy and attractive but the mirror destroys the illusion.

[LilSissyStevie]

I used to think that I dressed according to what attracted me but that's not really it. What is arousing to me is not myself dressed or the clothes or even the idea of myself as a woman. It's stripping myself of any shred of masculinity. That usually involves associating myself to symbols of femininity (crossdressing, androphilia) but can be done other ways. I'm not particularly attracted to ultra feminine women, anyway. In fact, I tend to go for the opposite type.

[ReineD]

What is arousing to me is not myself dressed or the clothes or even the idea of myself as a woman. It's stripping myself of any shred of masculinity.

Out of curiosity, why would you find this arousing?

... and doesn't it take presenting as a woman to strip yourself of masculinity? I mean, you can't do that by just being naked?

Hope you don't mind the question, but I don't recall reading anyone put it that way before.

[Jamiegirl1]

I am attracted to my fem self, I dress and try to look like a woman I would be attracted to, I wear shoes, dresses, etc that I think are pretty and would like to see on women....pretty things but not tooo ****ty, I have nice legs and love nice legs on women...I guess I do occasionally get turned on by looking at pics I have taken of myself, I am amazed at how well I can look feminine sometimes

[LilSissyStevie]

Out of curiosity, why would you find this arousing?

... and doesn't it take presenting as a woman to strip yourself of masculinity? I mean, you can't do that by just being naked?

Hope you don't mind the question, but I don't recall reading anyone put it that way before.

I wouldn't choose for it to be arousing as no one really chooses what turns them on. My belief as to how I ended up with this "condition" stems from the following facts:

I experienced much abuse in childhood, much of it of an emasculating nature, in addition I was very timid, shy, and sensitive in a hyper masculine environment which predisposed me to doubt my ability to express masculinity even more. The abuse and anxiety I experienced caused me PTSD. One feature of PTSD is the tendency to revisit the trauma. This tendency is an imprint that can take a lifetime to undo. Sexual imprints also occur early in life and around puberty. Masochism is a is a psychological defense mechanism where one replaces pain with pleasure. Masochists don't enjoy pain, they convert it. In my case, I converted the pain of emasculation anxiety into sexual arousal. I didn't do it on purpose, it just happened. This happened around puberty so it became a permanent sexual imprint that competes with and sometimes overwhelms my more heteronormative attractions even though most of the issues I had at the time have been resolved long ago. That's what I've come up with so far.

Emasculation fetishes can take many forms that do not necessarily involve overt feminization: Female Domination, cuckoldry, adult baby, CBT just to name a few. Not everybody has the same preference for themes. But it's interesting how these other themes seem to be highly correlated with crossdressing.

[Ceera]

Dressing is not particularly a 'turn on' for me. I seldom get aroused at all while dressed. (Being well-tucked kind of prevents that physiological response, at least for me.)

I dress because it seems to fill a need that I have for being seen and appreciated. I get far more complements on my clothes and personal appearance as a woman then I ever get as a male. I meet many more people, of either gender, who are willing to dance with me when I am a female than when I am a male. It feels good, emotionally, for me to be seen and perceived as a woman and positively responded to, even if no one does anything overtly affectionate to me beyond dancing and hugs.

Early on there was a bit of a kinky aspect to it for me. But as it's progressed, that has become far less important than presenting well and being accepted as a woman by others.

I try to be attractive, and to some extent I seem to succeed. Certainly I've had quite a few 'passes' made in my direction - people of either gender buying me drinks, telling me outright that they find me attractive, or asking to get more intimate. So to some segment of the population, I know I am attractive as a woman. At a dance at a gay and lesbian nightclub a while ago, I was dancing with another girl (a GG), and she playfully tried to beckon a man on the sidelines to join us. He declined her offer. I beckoned to him a heartbeat later, and he came right out and danced with us. Now yes, that was likely a gay male, who saw me as a cross-dressed man that he found attractive, and who wasn't attracted to what he perceived as a GG lesbian lady. But there remains the fact that he chose me over a rather attractive GG!

[sometimes_miss]

Are you attracted to your femme self?
No, I'm not that conceited.

[twelvestepemily]

sometimes_miss, attraction isn't a decision or judgment, it's a feeling -- nobody here is saying that they believe they are hottest girl in their home state. Nobody here is being conceited with their honest responses. They're talking about a feeling that is strange and unexplainable, and surely you can relate to that. No need to shame people for their feelings.

[docrobbysherry]

Since I discovered I don't have a "fem side", I'm kinda the poster dresser for this. From that day on I've been turning Sherry into any and every attractive female from my imagination!:daydreaming:
As Nicole said, I KNOW which looks r most likely to turn me on.:heehee:

Of late, I've moved on and tried to mimic women I don't find attractive just to see if I can do them. I swear, I never had a thing for the Wicked Witch of the West. Altho, I thot Glenda was pretty cute! :battingeyelashes:

263186


---------------------- and doesn't it take presenting as a woman to strip yourself of masculinity? I mean, you can't do that by just being naked-------------------------------------
263187
(Can't show u what I look like without the swim suit. But, u get the idea.)
Maybe others can't, Reine. But, with my suit? I find becoming a naked female can be VERY exciting and often arousing!
U know what they say is the best cure for an older man's sexual disfunction? "A new 25 year old women!":D
I'm single and over 70. I discovered Sherry's endless characterizations were more stimulating than the 60+/- y/o women I used to date!:o

[ReineD]

LOL, Sherry, you're cheating. You wear a skin suit and mask. :)




Emasculation fetishes can take many forms that do not necessarily involve overt feminization: Female Domination, cuckoldry, adult baby, CBT just to name a few. Not everybody has the same preference for themes. But it's interesting how these other themes seem to be highly correlated with crossdressing.

I hadn't thought of those. Now I understand, thanks. :)

[Charlessa]

sort of. I definitely find myself better looking when in femme clothing. especially clothing that accentuates my positive body parts. turned on? ahh not really as I'm getting older. but I'd lie if I said that was true 100% of the time

[irene9999]

I do get turned on sometimes when I look in the mirror and I definately do try to dress like a woman I would find attractive. As a guy. Sometimes it's the excitement of how I can get dolled up as a woman that turns me on a little, it's almost like I'm looking at pictures of another person

[Traceyjo]

Oh yes Nicole , I certainly do get aroused and excited by my femme self. That's very much on of the attractions of dressing for me. I love looking at myself in the mirror when I'm looking very femme and sexy and seeing a woman my male self would enjoy admiring. I take lots of pics and take much pleasure in browsing through them and see a sexy and desirable woman .

[CarlaWestin]

Attracted to myself while dressed as a woman?
Hmm, let me think.
Y'all have seen some of my outfits, right?

:straightface:

[Ellie Summer]

I've been thinking about this thread since it was started and I would have said no, but tonight I was tinkering around with some makeup and went for the really deep dark eyeliner which I normally think is attractive on women, and yea I looked in the mirror in a different way than I normally do. Kinda liked the person that was looking back at me. Not in a "turn on" kind of way, I'm just finally really happy with the way I look, which is why I'll take this opportunity to thank everyone in here for being so supportive to each other.

[Joanne108]

I would say yes. Because on more than one occasion my wife has asked me "Why do you look like me when you are dressed up?"

[Alice_2014_B]

Being fully dressed up is already thrilling itself.
I have to admit that I find some of the pictures I take of myself to be fairly attractive.
:)

[Jeny_rj]

Yes, I am attracted to myself enfemme.... and was turned on when I was young, not much anymore.... One reason, maybe, I was not tucking when I started CDing.

[mechamoose]

Are you attracted to your femme self? I know it seems a strnge question but do you find yourself a turn on when dressed?

I like people who are into themselves. People who are sexy because they *feel* sexy. I'm a BIG DAMN MOOSE, but if I wave that around, someone wants it.

Being wanted is normal and natural.

We *all* want someone to lose their control over us.

<3

- K / M

[GBJoker]

Never. I refuse to look in a mirror or take a picture of myself no matter what I'm wearing. I'm ugly. Completely turned off whenever I caught a glimpse of myself.

[DIANEF]

I do look at myself in the mirror when dressed and (sometimes) think, 'you know what, for a 50 plus guy that isn't half bad' My image is based pretty much on an idealised style, maybe a typical 'girl next door' look, but I wouldn't be attracted to myself in any way (probably because I know that under all that make up. hair and clothing is little old me...!!)

[AlyssaJ]

On the (sadly) few occasions I've had to be fully dressed and made over, I feel sexy and when I look in the mirror I like what I see. As others have mentioned, it's not totally shocking to me because I tend to dress in clothes that I find to be the most attractive on other women.

[ReineD]

Being wanted is normal and natural.

We *all* want someone to lose their control over us.

This is true, but how does it answer the questions, "Are you attracted to your femme self? I know it seems a strnge question but do you find yourself a turn on when dressed?". :)

[Micki_Finn]

Not attracted to myself per se. Rather I feel at my own most attractive. Some guys think they looks best in a Tux. Some guys feel at their best sans shirt, sweating and flexing. I just feel at my most attractive in makeup and a wig. As a guy I lack most of the markers for a "handsome" man. I am however one sexy chick (if I do say so myself). So, no, I've never looked in the mirror and said "I'd do me" but I do feel at my best when dressed.

[ellbee]

Are you attracted to your femme self? I know it seems a strnge question but do you find yourself a turn on when dressed?

Yes. And yes. :D


Though that can also get a bit old after a while.


It brings a lot more personal satisfaction when you're able to share it with others, whether you already know them or they're perfect strangers.

Getting genuine compliments, from men & GG's, really brings it to a whole new level. And yes, I consider getting checked out by men (as long as it's done tastefully enough) as a form of a compliment... No reason to feel odd about that, IMO. In fact, just the opposite! :)

[Mayo]

I've used autogynephile as a purely descriptive term for myself in the past, as I certainly don't subscribe to Blanchard's theory. Julia Serano has written several articles on Blanchard's theory (e.g. this one (http://www.juliaserano.com/av/Serano-CaseAgainstAutogynephilia.pdf)) and does a pretty good job of debunking it as far as I'm concerned; among other things, she cites studies by Moser and Veale et al. that found "nontranssexual women exhibit patterns of arousal similar to those seen in transsexual women that autogynephilic fantasies are neither transsexual-specific nor paraphilic." Similarly, I find the thought of myself as a man in a sexual situation arousing as well at times, but it's only when we cross those gender lines that it's considered 'abnormal'.

My own answer to the OPs question is... sort of. I'm more attracted to the [I]idea of myself as female, though I do find the parts of me that look female attractive - which is pretty much only my breasts - if I sorta squint my eyes and don't look too closely... :) But it doesn't happen all the time, and it's not the reason I dress.

[Crissy Kay]

When I was younger it was easy to get turned on looking in the mirror but now that I'm in my late fifties it's much more work!

I have to agree with Judy on that one. But for me, most of the time its worth the extra time to look good.

[Gwyneth]

Ok I'm seriously new to this. I've been with 2 different CDs and both were very exciting. To be true I was really wanting to satisfy some of my bi desires. But it got me remembering things I thought of as a youth. I was never a good looking guy. I always wished it was as ok for me to use make up as with any woman. And now for different reasons than then, I desperately want to get made up, get dressed, and go out to see what might happen. I want to be very appealing to other men. I would only go to places here in my city that running into a CD would be likely. So as not to try to trick men. Not that I can pull that off. I am worried if any response isn't that flattering, I would be scarred for life. More so than I am now I guess.

[shellybme]

I definitely get turned on seeing myself in fem. I am not really attracted to myself in fem but all of the sensations and feelings definitely turn me on.

[ClosetED]

I have always liked to view pretty women (aka attracted) but as I have gotten older, I do not get sexually turned on from just seeing them. I have gotten good enough to make myself pretty to the level I find my image attractive, but that does not sexually excite me. I find Nicole to be attractive - pleasing to see your poses as very feminine - but not sexually excited. What does excite me is the imagining having a GG partner who accepts me as all of myself - who would encourage Ellen and therefore remove the guilt having to comply with a DADT compromise.
Hugs, Ellen

[redtea]

Probably, if I was doing makeup/wig/eyebrows/facialhair/eyes.

Because I would probably be turned on I don't go that far.

But my body does a pretty good job at creating the illusion of a girl. My only flaw is my tiny bit of thigh fat, tummy fat (which mostly goes away when standing) and my 7 inch member

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nicole:hugs:, Seeing that lovely lady in the mirror still fascinates me when she smiles back at me...:daydreaming:...

[Krisi]

I'm not sure that in a bar full of attractive women, Krisi would be my first choice, but I do know she would show me a good time so in that sense, I am attracted to myself.

[brenda girl]

I always say, the best looknig woman is the one you see in the mirror